My boyfriend has changed his mind about keeping the baby, and now he and his family are ganging up on me forcing me to have an abortion!
Q. my boyfriend and his parents are 'forcing' me into an abortion but i dont want to go through with it. what should i do? im 17 years old and im 5 weeks pregnant. my boyfriend told his parents i may be pregnant before we even knew. when i found out...
A. 27 June 2011: Go to the police!
No, seriously - this is completely wrong.
They can't make you do anything, let alone this.
OK, you just have to be totally strong: the strongest you have ever been.
I got pregnant when I was 21, and my father said that if ... (read in full...)
What is it like having an abortion?
Q. I am about 5 weeks pregnant and i am going to have an abortion I dont know anyone who has ever had an abortion before Does anyone know what happens? Do they have to do a scan before hand? I just think if they do a scan i will want to see it and e...
A. 20 June 2011: but just ... are you really sure you want to do this? If you can't bear to look at the scan now, I don't mean to make this harder for you, but after you have had the abortion it might drive you crazy wishing you had. I am only speaking from my ... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 20 June 2011: I like Missy's answer - you can always get another boyfriend, but your baby is unique. ! Good one.
Someone posted here who was in the exact same situation, and very sadly was pressured into an abortion and is now having to live with that forever.... (read in full...)
What is it like having an abortion?
Q. I am about 5 weeks pregnant and i am going to have an abortion I dont know anyone who has ever had an abortion before Does anyone know what happens? Do they have to do a scan before hand? I just think if they do a scan i will want to see it and e...
A. 20 June 2011: I had a friend who had an abortion with the pills, which is what you would have as early. The earlier the better.
She went for an interview/meeting at the clinic, and they checked her out and gave her the pills. You don't have to look at the scan... (read in full...)
Husband verbally and emotionally abusive. What do I do?
Q. im 21 years old and met my husband half way through last year.. he was the most charming, handsome man id ever met and id prior had several really bad relationships.. when i met my husband, ive literally never been so happy in my life.. we were so ...
A. 19 June 2011: Unfortunately, your husband isn't a one-off - this is a type of behaviour that a whole group of men practise.
It will always be miserable with him. Yes, he might break you. You might get ill. He might hurt you.
You are still so young - there... (read in full...)
Married for 6 months - now some disturbing things coming out about my wife?
Q. After a drunken night of wine last night, a few things came out about my wife that I probably didnt want to hear. I have a big thing about honesty, as I have a fair few trust issues of my own, and after a few lies that she's came out with, I feel a ...
A. 19 June 2011: Oh for goodness's sake. She didn't tell you for the simple reason that she loved you, knew you had trust issues and would freak out if you told her how many people she had slept with, and didn't want to upset/lose you.
She was AFRAID to tell you... (read in full...)
What is it like having an abortion?
Q. I am about 5 weeks pregnant and i am going to have an abortion I dont know anyone who has ever had an abortion before Does anyone know what happens? Do they have to do a scan before hand? I just think if they do a scan i will want to see it and e...
A. 19 June 2011: What are your reasons? ... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 19 June 2011: Don't have one. I had one when I was 21, and I didn't want it, and it ruined my life. I can elaborate on the whole subject, as you can imagine, but just do not do it. And frankly, stuff him. If he isn't interested in his responsibility (and, ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in spanking your child?
Q. Do you believe in spanking your child? I've heard people say they believe in it and others believe that its wrong. Personally, i believe in it if they are out of control and have been warned repeatedly. Don't judge, it was how i was raised and my ...
A. 18 June 2011: If they are handled properly, and have a strong relationship with their parents, they won't be out of control, will respond to warnings and won't need spanking.
Calmness, respect, understanding - that is what a mature parent should give. Spanking... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and don't want to give the baby away but am unsure about keeping it either
Q. So I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I'm still not sure how far along I am but after two at-home tests and a blood test from the hospital I know for sure I am pregnant. I'm not on any birth control, because I thought for sure I ...
A. 18 June 2011: Don't have an abortion, it is a nightmare. I had one when 21, and it pretty much ruined my life. Sorry - haven't got time to write much now - but just wanted to say that to start with. Check out my other answers on this. Don't do it, and I will ... (read in full...)
What should I do, husband doesn't want to give me any money
Q. I got married 2 months ago with this guy and we have a 2 month old baby. I was working for the last 5 years.He told me to stop working to take care of the baby. I spent my time cooped up in the house taking care of the baby, cooking, cleaning. He ...
A. 18 June 2011: I am so sorry that you feel like this. Saying that he is selfish and unhelpful and unkind doesn't really help you, though (which he is, unfortunately). I'm afraid he is setting the pattern for how he wants things to be - you take responsibility for ... (read in full...)
What should I do, husband doesn't want to give me any money
Q. I got married 2 months ago with this guy and we have a 2 month old baby. I was working for the last 5 years.He told me to stop working to take care of the baby. I spent my time cooped up in the house taking care of the baby, cooking, cleaning. He ...
A. 15 June 2011: This is very difficult behaviour on his part, and I am really sorry you are having to cope with this, at a time when he should be loving and supporting you as a new mother (to his child).
You're right, the fact that he is earning, and paying t... (read in full...)
I want his children, but after we are married and in a more stable relationship!
Q. Hello, I am writing because im currently 6 weeks pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Its the second time we are trying things. We met 3 years ago and dated for 7 months . I got pregnant with him then and we decided to have ...
A. 13 June 2011: It most likely will damage your relationship, especially as he has said he would like to keep the child.
And is doing it at 'the right time' more important to you than anything else?
And yes, sorry to say I do think this is a pretty horrible ... (read in full...)
28 years later and I want to know what her sexual past was
Q. hi i have been married to a wonderful woman for 28 years. i met her when she was 16 and i was 20. i was with prostitutes from 18 till before i met her. i could not have sex with girls i went to school with and take what did not belong to me,so i ...
A. 12 June 2011: So what is the problem? You are with her, she is yours, and what happened was 28 years ago. It DOESN'T MATTER now. She is yours.... (read in full...)
28 years later and I want to know what her sexual past was
Q. hi i have been married to a wonderful woman for 28 years. i met her when she was 16 and i was 20. i was with prostitutes from 18 till before i met her. i could not have sex with girls i went to school with and take what did not belong to me,so i ...
A. 12 June 2011: Are you really sure you have been with her for 28 years? Because I wonder whether you are just saying that. You sound too upset for this to have happened 28 years ago. Time heals, usually.
Anyhow, of course you have developed an emotiona... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a nightmare. Is this normal?
Q. I Have been going out with my GF for a few years She is Controlling Possessive Paranoid Moody Childish Doesnt let me see my friends Checks my phone Checks my emails Checks my facebook The reason she does all this is because I have...
A. 9 June 2011: She is:
immature.
And she is also a girl.
And that is why she behaves how she does. Oh, and she is also just this kind of person.
So, no, it isn't healthy and good to be like this, and it isn't fun for you (or her, really), and usually if... (read in full...)
Nearing the end?
Q. Am I honestly "over the fear" of our marriage being over? Been married 18 years, 3 kids, college sweethearts, basically we've been together our entire adult lives. Been inseparable since our first date. Fastforward to now. My wife is a GREAT mo...
A. 9 June 2011: ps
My typo: I meant to say 'she ISN'T doing that looking after thing' ...... (read in full...)
Nearing the end?
Q. Am I honestly "over the fear" of our marriage being over? Been married 18 years, 3 kids, college sweethearts, basically we've been together our entire adult lives. Been inseparable since our first date. Fastforward to now. My wife is a GREAT mo...
A. 9 June 2011: I felt really sad when I read this.
You sound, to me, like a bright, thinking, pragmatic person, with a crucial sense of humour, and a default setting of positive/practical/energetic. Sounds like you have also managed to create a great home for... (read in full...)
Two weeks holiday but now my boyfriend wants to go away for one night in the middle of it.
Q. Hi. Me and my bf of 18 months have taken two weeks off in august to spend togther. he is very independent and gets bored easily. I am very codependent but i'm working on it. Anyway, BECAUSE I am trying to work on it I decided in my head that it ...
A. 9 June 2011: The healthy thing, in my opinion, would be to be together because you want to be together, and not to fret and overreact. You are so wound up about spending this 'time' together - how are you going to live with him?? You are going to be with him all ... (read in full...)
Relationships and titles...
Q. When in a relationship, how important is a title (boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, etc) to you? Does it matter if you have a title or not? Do you think a title means committment? Very interested in hearing your thoughts... ...
A. 9 June 2011: Yes, a title is commitment, as it means that whoever gives you that title (or agrees to let you be called that) is willing to acknowledge publicly what you mean to them.
So if my lover starts saying I am his girlfriend, that means I am his, for... (read in full...)
After her miscarriage and being diagnosed with cancer, she somehow seems less interested in me. Why is that?
Q. hey agony aunts, im in a pickle and need some advice. Ive been with my girlfriend for a little over a month now, and the first few weeks went great, but then she started feeling sick and went to the doctor and found out she was 6 weeks pregnant f...
A. 30 May 2011: o.mi.god. This girl - aged 18 or so? - lose a baby and finds out she is possibly going to die horribly before she has hardly lived, and you wonder if she is going off you???????????????????????????????????
it is not to do with you. it is to do... (read in full...)
My husband's sperm count is too low but he thinks the doctor is lying!
Q. hi,i have been trying for a baby for 7 years but nothing happened so the docter decided that we do some test mine was fine bur it turned out my husband cant have kids and theres nothing that can be done his sperm count is too low no treatment can ...
A. 30 May 2011: It is a common reaction for the man in such a situation to refuse to believe there is no hope, and to continue to think that surely he must have just that one sperm that will do the job.
This isn't really the case, because even if he has one, all... (read in full...)
I want to do something for him to show him how much I love and appreciate him...Advice?
Q. Hey guys - I need some ideas for something special I can do for my boyfriend. We're both sixteen and have been together a long while; we're happy I guess but recently it hasn't been quite so ... I dunno, nothing's wrong but I think we've been a bit ...
A. 29 May 2011: buy him a ferrari ; ) no, seriously - problem is most things men really want are really expensive. surprise party? that always shows you care.... (read in full...)
I don't like the engagement ring he gave me
Q. My fiance recently surprised me with an engagement ring. He knew I preferred white gold, but got me a yellow gold one. I do love my ring, but it matches nothing I wear and with me being OCD I'm now having to get all new jewellery and accessories to ...
A. 29 May 2011: If you think he will be offended, then, as you know him and none of us do, i guess you're right.
Nope. He was a twit to get you what he knew wasn't quite what you wanted, especially if you are OCD, but then again it is an acquired skill, getting ... (read in full...)
I love pets but am very sad that I don't think I'm meant to have one!
Q. Lately I've been feeling blue and I'm not sure if there's a solution to my problem. It's not a relationship problem, but it's driving me crazy! I absolutely LONG to have a pet of my own, and I know that nothing else will fill that void. The ...
A. 27 May 2011: ps
and ... sorry ... this post is intriguing me ... why do you feel so certain you can't 'EVER' have one?? Has something bad happened to one (or more) pets in your care?
Having a pet is not totally the same as having a child, I have to say. I u... (read in full...)
I love pets but am very sad that I don't think I'm meant to have one!
Q. Lately I've been feeling blue and I'm not sure if there's a solution to my problem. It's not a relationship problem, but it's driving me crazy! I absolutely LONG to have a pet of my own, and I know that nothing else will fill that void. The ...
A. 27 May 2011: Hi there
Would like to help, but you need to be more specific.
What does this mean:
but I have had experiences lately that make me feel like I'm incompetent.
?
What experiences?
OK - you want a pet - but why do you think you 'can't' hav... (read in full...)
My old lover has come back and asked me to be with him forever, should I take him back?
Q. dear friend, i have to talk to you for an advice, after 2 years brek up of my lover , he returned to me and asked me to be with him foreer, but before this i am going to tell you this short story what happend in the past, he met me at my school ...
A. 27 May 2011: He loves you. You should be with him, even if it means moving abroad to another country.
No doubt.
xx... (read in full...)
Do people go through life feeling awkward, without maturing?
Q. I watched a documentary about the human body on BBC iPlayer and it made me realise how empty my life really is. p /> It was about how the human brain developed. He (the presenter) was reflective on his teenage life and how he fell in love e.t....
A. 21 May 2011: Hi there Sorry you feel so bad. But yes, lots and lots of us felt/feel the same. Actually, it does kind of get better over time, and it certainly gets better if you do manage to find someone and have your own family, because then, eg, bedtime ... (read in full...)
If I don't make a move I'll lose him forever, but there's a girlfriend ...
Q. Okay. So this will sound pathetic. But I need help. I've liked the same guy for almost three years now. He has liked me a lot of that time too but (because of our own reasons) we've never gotten together. At the moment he has a girlfriend, and he's ...
A. 7 May 2011: You have to resolve this with him one way or the other, for your own sake - so tell him. Telling him doesn't mean you are making him unfaithful- you are just giving him the full facts, and being true and honest to yourself. If you were all married ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be a creep -- is this all there is?
Q. My bf of 2 years seems to be a creep. I was looking for a movie to watch on my laptop and stumbled into Google documents for the first time ever. I saw everything that my bf looked up on the laptop for the last 5 years +. I saw all kinds of ...
A. 4 May 2011: Forget the porn. You need to keep your daughter safe. You shouldn't have let him get away with stealing her underwear. He should have been straight out the door. Get him out NOW.... (read in full...)
What's the secret to attracting a woman?
Q. Please tell me what REALLY TURNS ON A WOMEN. What gives her that spark to feel so attracted she'll jump into your arms?...
A. 4 May 2011: Within max 13 seconds, and usually within 5-7, we know if we want to get up close to someone. We know who they are. We know if we like them. Give us another couple of minutes, and we can judge pretty accurately all their pros and cons. Instinct.... (read in full...)
How do I forget my years of abuse and learn to love again?
Q. I lived in abusive marriage for 20 years. I finally got out of it and started a new life. But the marriage keeps haunting me. How can I turn around again to find someone to love?...
A. 3 May 2011: Firstly, congratulations on getting your life back! This is all just the beginning. You have done the hard part ... 20 years in a kind of prison. Now you are out, but those bars have shaped how you look at the world now. It will take time, but y... (read in full...)
Should I give my abusive boyfriend a second chance?
Q. Dear all, I'm 26 yrs old and I'm an introvert. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and within this short period he's showed me acts of violence 4 times already! It include: spitting, strangling, hitting, pushing and all the worst parts you ...
A. 3 May 2011: Ok, I don't think this guy sounds right for you, so no, I don't think you should get back - for either of your sake's.
But from what you yourself say about your own behaviour and issues, I think you maybe ought to think about working on all of t... (read in full...)
If we're both fifteen...what happens if we want to have a baby?
Q. What iF You're 15 And You And Your Boyfriend Want To Have A Baby?!?...
A. 3 May 2011: You work out what would happen with school, where you would live, how you would support yourselves, and you think very very very carefully about what your plan would be for the first five years of your child's life - who would be around your child, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend impregnanted another girl
Q. My boyfriend impregnanted another girl he dated for 3 months.but he is telling me that he loves me he want to marry me.but however last year i got pregnant and he told me to abort because he was not ready to became a father because he is curently ...
A. 3 May 2011: You loved, needed and trusted him, so you did what he wanted. She is not attached to him in this way - she just had a fling with him - and she is standing up for her rights, and protecting her child. He can't do anything about this. The one th... (read in full...)
He's ONLY hit me twice recently. But should I end this relationship?
Q. My partner used to physicaly and mentaly abuse me. it became worse during my pregnancy , and i miscarried. After this he became better for a while and has only hit me twice in serious arguments. i still can't get over how he treated me and even tho...
A. 3 May 2011: Yes, yes, yes. If you have the strength to, yes. He killed your child. His own child. By not respecting or loving you. By allowing himself to abuse you. Leave him. He is a bad person.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and he's dumped me
Q. 2months pregnant for a married man that played me for the fool i've been. am now 21 and he is 41, he has left his wife for not me but another woman with whom he is clearly in love with. i was there before her and he promise me the moon and stars but ...
A. 3 May 2011: You poor, poor thing. Do you have anyone to love and help you? Is there anyone who you can talk to, and turn to? I so hope there is.
But at least you have the baby. If you love this man, which I'm sure you do, the pain of losing him will be erase... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for a child, but I don't want to regret my decision.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I need some advice. I am 20 years old and just found out I'm pregnant and would really appreciate advice hopefully from people who have had or know of similiar experinces. I have a job that pays very well I make over $1100...
A. 2 May 2011: Hey there
I can't tell you what a mix of emotions I feel now - so incredibly sorry that you didn't read my post before, but also so glad that although it is too late for what was your situation now, that what I said made sense and you heard it... (read in full...)
Is he scared or uninterested??
Q. I met a gorgeous guy on Friday night and we got chatting. I found that we had so much in common and after a few hours, he kissed me and it was wonderful. We found out that we both play music, speak French, love animals, love travelling etc etc. - ...
A. 21 April 2011: Sounds a bit like Cinderella : )
I am not usually one for plotting, but I think you need to engineer a meeting with him, because it does sound worth following up, but it also sounds like he has cold feet. If you can trust the friends who told you... (read in full...)
How can you resolve long standing, extended family based conflicts in a marriage?
Q. How can you resolve long standing, extended family based conflicts in a marriage? Me and my husband married more than 25 years ago, and we still have the same conflicts, about his family , what we used to have at the beginning. Very ''classic...
A. 18 April 2011: You can't resolve this, because it isn't just you who is deciding what to do here.
No point confronting them, because you will make it worse and make your husband squirm with divided loyalties.
And no, it is no way anywhere near bad enough ... (read in full...)
She told me God was telling her things wouldn't work out!!!
Q. My girlfriend n I have been going out for about 4 months now. Everything was going great, we both were happy n life couldn’t have been much better. About 2 weeks ago she told me "she thinks she loves me" n that "I am perfect for her." She was crazy ...
A. 18 April 2011: Ok: first things first: if she is not being hormonally controlled (ie, not on the pill/injection/whatever), then what she says this week will be slightly different than what she says next week, really quite different than what she says the week ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for a child, but I don't want to regret my decision.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I need some advice. I am 20 years old and just found out I'm pregnant and would really appreciate advice hopefully from people who have had or know of similiar experinces. I have a job that pays very well I make over $1100...
A. 13 April 2011: OMG - I can't believe that someone actually directed you towards Marie Stopes - which is just a money-making abortion racket!!!!!!!!!
Listen: there is enough doubt in what you say, and more than enough hopefulness in your situation, that I think ... (read in full...)
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