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*atasia

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Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?

Q.   How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...

A.   19 November 2010: I'm sorry, but I have to express open, public admiration for Cerberus here with this statement: 'The past shapes us but if you want a future with a person then you must accept the person they are in the present and not be so hung up on their pa... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriend so hurtful one minute-yet loves me the next?

Q.   What does it mean when your ex you've been with for six months, is constantly bringing you down, critising you, picking on you, mocking you and is still possesive, but then he says he is kidding, and he says im beautiful and perfect and his girl. Y...

A.   18 November 2010: Look, I don't know if you can hear this, but if you self-harm, you also have one huge emotional problem, because when people are happy, balanced and ok, they would never ever dream of hurting themselves. To hurt yourself like this, you must have a ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant?

Q.   here is the thing i am 15 almost 16 in the uk -legal age of consent is 16 - any ways . me and my boyfriend of 2 years he is 24 okay now there is a age gap i am very mature for my age and my parents now know we are in a relationship and they thi...

A.   17 November 2010:  and a question for celtic tiger: have you ever been pregnant?... (read in full...)

How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant?

Q.   here is the thing i am 15 almost 16 in the uk -legal age of consent is 16 - any ways . me and my boyfriend of 2 years he is 24 okay now there is a age gap i am very mature for my age and my parents now know we are in a relationship and they thi...

A.   17 November 2010: well done, s.smurf! You have done it all right. Perfectly. Told your parents, told people at school and close friends, have everyone's support, have your exams covered. And celtic - well, if smurf has her exam dates, presumably she can take her... (read in full...)

My crush hit on my childminder the other day...but I want him! How do I resolve this?

Q.   I had a baby recently and a guy who was a good friend of mine (well my crush) who wanted to go out with me back when I was preg..in fact he wanted a sexual relationship with me at the time but it never happened between us..anyway I met him the other ...

A.   17 November 2010: I say again, gently let her go. She will know why.... (read in full...)

Why is my husband watching so much porn?

Q.   we have been married for 4 years at first i had no clue . but every moring after i left for work my husband would watch porn and get him self off, even if we had sex the night before . now its geting to where he gets on the internet to watch coupels ...

A.   17 November 2010: This is pretty simple: He is sexually frustrated and feels rejected because you don't seem to want to have sex with him as much as he wants (which is perfectly understandable on your part - frankly I don't think I would want to have sex with him... (read in full...)

My crush hit on my childminder the other day...but I want him! How do I resolve this?

Q.   I had a baby recently and a guy who was a good friend of mine (well my crush) who wanted to go out with me back when I was preg..in fact he wanted a sexual relationship with me at the time but it never happened between us..anyway I met him the other ...

A.   15 November 2010: ps and as for the food - is she very slim? You don't say what country she is from, but if an Eastern European country, you won't see her eat much ... she will eat like a bird, and remain very slim. That is how E. European women have such marv... (read in full...)

My crush hit on my childminder the other day...but I want him! How do I resolve this?

Q.   I had a baby recently and a guy who was a good friend of mine (well my crush) who wanted to go out with me back when I was preg..in fact he wanted a sexual relationship with me at the time but it never happened between us..anyway I met him the other ...

A.   15 November 2010: Oh, lord - don't you know what to do? Just say it isn't working out and let her go. Find another au pair. She doesn't feel relaxed. There is tension between the two of you. She is, whether she means to or not, stealing your love interest (I know ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant?

Q.   here is the thing i am 15 almost 16 in the uk -legal age of consent is 16 - any ways . me and my boyfriend of 2 years he is 24 okay now there is a age gap i am very mature for my age and my parents now know we are in a relationship and they thi...

A.   15 November 2010: Get your mum alone and tell her. She will then decide how to tell your dad - probably she will do it. Then you can also discuss what she thinks about telling his family. Basically, either he should tell his mum on his own first, or you both could ... (read in full...)

She's going by his last name and they're not even married!

Q.   I can't seem to get over my ex. Over 4 1/2 years with my boyfriend I found out he had been cheating. I was pregnant at the time (we had tried for 3 years and all had resulted in miscarriages). He had been with her for 4 months and it was a long ...

A.   14 November 2010: He doesn't get happily ever after, as presumably he is not with his child (your baby). That is a hole in his life that will never go away. He might not realise it now, but he will at some point. ... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriend so hurtful one minute-yet loves me the next?

Q.   What does it mean when your ex you've been with for six months, is constantly bringing you down, critising you, picking on you, mocking you and is still possesive, but then he says he is kidding, and he says im beautiful and perfect and his girl. Y...

A.   14 November 2010: He has serious emotional issues, and is a very very difficult person to be with. He has a sadistic streak, emotionally, and is also emotionally detached, as doesn't react normally when he has upset you. It isn't you at all: it is him. The problem ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has disgusted me-can I forgive?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have hit a rough patch recently as we've both been ill on and off and very busy at work. Basically just not in sync, no sex, just all very practical chat. We're both feeling better now so this weekend was gonna be the weekend to ...

A.   14 November 2010: I don't know how long you've been with your boyfriend, but I'm afraid it certainly sounds as if he hasn't entirely given up on this previous girl. That you snooped around is a sign of the times - you haven't done anything that most normally... (read in full...)

This new guy is clingy, needy, and cheesy!

Q.   i broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. we had been together for a year and it started to get really routinaire. i needed time and he wouldn't give me time so we ended it. i started dating this other guy inmediately after we broke up. at ...

A.   13 November 2010: You go back to your boyfriend. EVERY relationship, after time, develops a routine. Think about your family. Think about your parents. Couples fall into routines. They have children. Then the children need that routine. It is natural. What was happ... (read in full...)

Confused by a woman's cycle.

Q.   I'm a bit confused by the woman's cycle. If I had my period the 25th of October and it ended 4-5 days later...what are my fertile days and what are my not-so fertile days? I looked at some things online but got horribly confused. Also, I wondered, ...

A.   12 November 2010: You count the first day of your period as Day 1. Days 1-4/5 = your period (basically, the first week) Some time between days 10 and 14 usually, you will ovulate. When you ovulate, the egg only lives for a max. 48 hours, and usually less, so... (read in full...)

Friend needs a fresh start but I hate to lose her

Q.   I hope someone can help with advice with this situation, it takes a bit of explaining, but here goes. My best friend and sister-in-law came to stay with us last week to tell us some news and sort her life out. She has three young children under t...

A.   8 November 2010: I can't actually believe her family are for real! I think you should let her go to Canada and get away from all this and have a fresh start. You have to let her escape. And I think you have more than enough grounds to go to the police about... (read in full...)

Why did my ex text me?

Q.   After 8 months of no contact, last week, my ex tried to call me, but I missed the call, later on that day, he texted me and asked me if I’m ok. I texted him back and said I’m ok and also asked him how he’s doing, he texted back and said he’s not ...

A.   8 November 2010: So did you finish with him? If you put him through pain and want forgiving for it? He hasn't contacted you back because he is afraid of getting involved with you again, I think. And we all know how easy it is, after a break, to fall back with som... (read in full...)

I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.

Q.   I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...

A.   8 November 2010: OK. First thing: are/were all your siblings married happily at 18-21? That would be pretty early. Some might even say too early. But I suspect they're older than you and got married later than 21. Second thing: I still sometimes feel just as awkwa... (read in full...)

Would anyone else see this as nosey?

Q.   so i had to go with my parents to visit neighbors because they invited us..i am in my mid twenties and pretty much come to the conclusion i don't like them because most of them in the family are very stuck up and judgemental. We went to be nice more ...

A.   8 November 2010: No, I don't think anyone else would automatically feel the same. I think he was most probably just making conversation. All of his questions seem normal to me - I might have asked them myself. OK, maybe there is some neighbourly rivalry there, but ... (read in full...)

Infatuation with my driving instructor!

Q.   Hello people, I'm in a predicament. I found a similar one on the website about someone being 'infatuated with their driving instructor' - well i'm in that situation too. I'm 18 and been having driving lessons since July I think. My instructor is ...

A.   7 November 2010: I suppose that if he isn't married now, then there is no reason why you shouldn't have a relationship, although it is a huge age difference. However, I don't see how you can establish whether he is married or not, without asking him. ... (read in full...)

Why can women leave me and move on so quickly?

Q.   Were do I start? My ex of 6 years finally got tired of me and left me. She has another man in her life now, I see them together on facebook. We have a little girl together only 2 years old, she already has the new guy around my little girl. Our ...

A.   7 November 2010: OK ... thanks for explaining. Well, you know why they left. They had had enough of the deliberate neglect and lack of regard for their wellbeing on all levels. A lot of people, when they finally break free of a bad relationship, ha... (read in full...)

Her boobs are amazing!!!

Q.   I am an arab man (but also a christian). the rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. of course man and woman can do whatever...

A.   7 November 2010: You don't say if you are studying in your own (Arab) country, or in a more liberal country? If you are at home, then your only choice is to keep your hands off her and ask her to marry you. You might have to wait some time, and you might get her.... (read in full...)

My ex attacked me in front of our baby. Do I go to the police?

Q.   My ex, who I have a 6 month old son with, attacked me the other nite, not majorly just pulled my hair and threw me out of a door, in front of my son. Now my mum has gone mad saying I need to report him to the police. He has never been violent to me ...

A.   7 November 2010: Personally I wouldn't call the police. I would call him, and tell him he really frightened me, and why did he do that? I presume he feels bad about it. But you guys need to mend this together. You are parents together. You need to talk to him abou... (read in full...)

He wasn't the one for me, yet I was so into him - why?

Q.   Here's a description of this guy I dated 2 month and who just ended it with me: - he's 33, smart, well-travelled, athletic and very attractive - he's had many gfs but has never lived with one - his ideal Friday and Saturday nights are goin...

A.   7 November 2010: He sounds like the type who is good at making a woman feel (a) special for being with him (b) specially lucky for being with him ... and so, when you are then out of his favour, you feel doubly worse. But, when you look at it calmly and without ... (read in full...)

What's the perfect gift for a guy?

Q.   What do you think is the 'perfect gift' for a guy from his girlfriend ?...

A.   7 November 2010: an extremely fast, brand new sports car an extremely expensive watch an extremely expensive hi fi system These things always hit the spot with any standard male. ; )... (read in full...)

Why can women leave me and move on so quickly?

Q.   Were do I start? My ex of 6 years finally got tired of me and left me. She has another man in her life now, I see them together on facebook. We have a little girl together only 2 years old, she already has the new guy around my little girl. Our ...

A.   7 November 2010: You need to say more about what you think it is about the way you have been that has made the women leave you, for us to give advice as to how they moved on in this way.... (read in full...)

I lied about my age and have found out he is a copper!

Q.   Hi Aunts. I am 15 and hang around with a large group of girls. I wear nice clothes and make myself up to look older I suppose. I went to a party recently and met this really nice guy. He said he was 26, I really liked him so I said I was...

A.   6 November 2010: And, Sageoldguy - how can it be rape when he thought she was 17? ... (read in full...)

I lied about my age and have found out he is a copper!

Q.   Hi Aunts. I am 15 and hang around with a large group of girls. I wear nice clothes and make myself up to look older I suppose. I went to a party recently and met this really nice guy. He said he was 26, I really liked him so I said I was...

A.   6 November 2010: You have to tell him. I don't know how far away your sixteenth birthday is, but you must tell him, and apologize. He trusted you when you said how old you were, so in my mind, he hasn't done anything wrong. However, he is actually doing something ... (read in full...)

I've had sex with both my boss and her daughter! How do I get out of this?

Q.   Hello. This is a very awkward, but sadly very true, story that I need help with. I have recently been having a casual sexual relationship with my 38 year old boss. I'm 20. This may sound bad but bare in mind she was not my boss when I began 'se...

A.   6 November 2010: You said it. Definitely don't sleep with the daughter any more. Don't sleep with the boss. Concentrate on the other girl. And hope to God the boss and her daughter never exchange notes ...... (read in full...)

My husband can't get over HIS affair.

Q.   My husband had an affair 2 years ago, and we worked through issues, the affair ended and life went on. 3 weeks ago we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary with a vow renewal ceremony, and I noticed after that he started acting very depresse...

A.   6 November 2010: Explain that it was enough that he had the affair, and would he please not hurt you now by not believing that you have truly forgiven him. Tell him that if he wants to make it up to you, he can - by being there for you, by being with you, by letting ... (read in full...)

Handjob and Blowjob at the movies?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while over 2 months now, but I'm never actually the one to actually DO anything. I've never actually given a handjob, or blowjob. But I really want to pleasure him the way he pleasures me. Just recently he ...

A.   6 November 2010: OK. Number 1, don't be so daft: you can't give him a handjob at the movies!! Have you gone mad? People will be sitting all around you, and possibly children! So, whatever you do, it is something to do in private, on your own with him. Next th... (read in full...)

Return to wife? Pursue divorce? Stay separted? What to do?

Q.   Well, I'm wondering what I should do now. I am in a long-term marriage of over 25 years but for many of those years felt very lonely. My wife and I had drifted very far apart and it seemed like we had very little in common any longer except fo...

A.   6 November 2010: Oh dear. What a pity that the other woman met that old boyfriend! : ( But at the same time, if she had really really wanted to be with you, she wouldn't haven't fallen prey to the old boyfriend. And if she wanted to be with you now, she would be, ... (read in full...)

Friends with benefits?

Q.   Alfredo has been one of my very good friends for a long time. But as you know female-male friendships are a lil hard keep. Eventually it happened, we had a lil too much to drink and we had sex... then it happened again.. and again.. We became s...

A.   4 November 2010: Well, what's wrong with being more than friends with benefits? Why can't you just be boyfriend and girlfriend? You should just ask him. ... (read in full...)

She won't go out with me because of our age difference...

Q.   Hi! My problem is that when I feel that I like a girl I fall for her hard and fast!!! The reason for this is that I don't see a girl so that I can get into her pants but because I see a future with her. And that's precisely what my problem is. I met ...

A.   2 November 2010: How much older is she?... (read in full...)

He always cums way too quickly! Is there a cure for this?

Q.   My Fiance Cums way too fast, sometimes soon as he sticks it inside me so is this because of he is almost 50 years old and is there a cure to this issue so we can have pleasurable Sex for long periods of time again??...

A.   2 November 2010: Did you ever have sex for long periods of time? There is a big age difference between you - I guess min. 23 years or so, and possibly 27 (if you are 22 and he is 49). This is huge. He probably can't handle the surprise of getting such a young wo... (read in full...)

Does wearing tampons make your vagina looser?

Q.   I decided to wear Pads instead of Tampons because i think if i use Tampons for almost a week out the month 'it will cause my Vagina to be looser.. so my Q is Does it matter or make a difference if i dont use Tampons because i dont want my Vagina to ...

A.   2 November 2010: Tampons won't make it looser. Giving birth will.... (read in full...)

Trying to figure out what it is...

Q.   I need to know something. Is it normal to have a slight pain when you are, well needless to say, turned on. I'm asking cause I have been getting this slight pain inside when my fiance and I get ready to make love. It started a couple months after I ...

A.   2 November 2010: I think that the more children one has, the more careful one has to be about sex, because every pregnancy and delivery changes things, and can make things painful. The only pain I know of that you might feel is if your husband somehow touches ... (read in full...)

Why is my husband watching so much porn?

Q.   we have been married for 4 years at first i had no clue . but every moring after i left for work my husband would watch porn and get him self off, even if we had sex the night before . now its geting to where he gets on the internet to watch coupels ...

A.   2 November 2010: I really really applaud what the 50-yr-old lady said. Thank you. I agree. I like this paragraph the best: Despite what everyone else seems to want to tell you, porn use is destructive. Look what it has done to your life and the way it has d... (read in full...)

Where did my macho guy go and who is this wimp?

Q.   hey i need advice, my fiance has turned into a right wimp. when i first met him, he was this matcho man, very confident and could handle himself, he used to do MMA, now hes a right pussy. i touch him and he says ouch and hes always hurting himself. ...

A.   1 November 2010: I don't mean to alarm you, but I think the first thing you should do is go with him to the doctor to make sure he hasn't got a condition of any sort that is making him clumsy. It seems very strange, unless he is so low on confidence that he can't ... (read in full...)

Is our marriage going to be over soon?

Q.   I have been married for 3 years, together for 6. I got pregnant at a young age, 19, just 1 year after we met. We had a wonderful sex drive when we met up until the point of when I was about 4 mos. pregnant. Ever since then we have only had sex about ...

A.   1 November 2010: Stay in a friendship marriage for the kids. You can work on your marriage - friendship is an excellent basis. You have all the time in the world to work things out. You can't work on repairing your kids' lives if you split up. Well, you can, b... (read in full...)

Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?

Q.   How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...

A.   31 October 2010: Well, first thing, your partner is unlikely to tell you the bald truth of whatever he has done in the past. It would certainly be modified, shall we say, for your ears. I don't want to offend all the scrupulously honest men on this site, but over... (read in full...)

I tried to get her interested in me, never planning on following through, and now I've got a problem!

Q.   I've got myself into an awkward position. I am married 12 years with two children, very happy and wouldn't change that for the world. I love my wife dearly. However, there was a similarly aged lady at work who I thought was quite attractive, she ...

A.   29 October 2010: Well, to be honest, if you have refused to meet outside of work and refused to enter into email/text/phone flirtation then you have already given her pretty clear boundaries and strong signals that you will not go beyond a certain point. Only ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend just grabbed me and "did it". He didn't see anything wrong with that!

Q.   Hi All - I need some insight on this. So yesterday I went to see my bf and we both knew we were hooking for sex before he leaves for the weekend to see his mother. Anyway, when i got there he was just uninterested. I touched him, he didnt touch m...

A.   29 October 2010: I don't know ... for some reason he was preoccupied, upset about something, buried deep in himself. The sex was an expression of something, and then he became real again and wanted to hold you. I am just trying to unravel this. Of course, ... (read in full...)

He says he needs "me time". I'm confused!

Q.   Last month (9/28/10) the guy I was with and had a child together decided while I was in class to pack up his belongings and move out. When I got home from a great day he told me he was leaving, not just to the store, but us (me, our child and my ...

A.   29 October 2010: I think this is the effect of the tablets and you MUST BOTH go to the doctors and get this sorted out. He is behaving irrationally and I think he actually does want to be with you and the children, but the tablets are messing with his feelings and ... (read in full...)

Is it possible for a married man to get his mistress pregnant on purpose?

Q.   I want to know how married men perceive on this matter. Is it possible for a married man to make their mistress or other woman get pregnant intentionally? Like he wants her to get pregnant?...

A.   29 October 2010: I suppose if he had an overwhelming desire to prove his virility, and/or if he hadn't had children with his wife, then he might do this. Some men get broody, too. And we all know that when one is broody, one doesn't think straight. Obvio... (read in full...)

Devastated after my mother's death. Help me..

Q.   My muother has just passed away and i feel i cant cope any more i just dont know what to do my life has been ripped apart i was so so close to her i dont know what to do any advise please!...

A.   29 October 2010: First, remember that your mother is still with you. She is with you now, and always will be. Look at your hands, your eyes, everything about you - find your mother there. She is in you. Picture her face. Hear her voice. She has not gone. She is t... (read in full...)

Does being on birth control make me a slut?

Q.   I am 14 years old and i am on birth control without a bf does that make me a slut or a whore or anything on thoes means ???? ...

A.   29 October 2010: Why are you on birth control? It doesn't make you a slut exactly, but it would seem that you want to be prepared should the opportunity arise to have sex. This is weird. Having sex is something that YOU control. You obviously shouldn't be having s... (read in full...)

Why is my husband watching so much porn?

Q.   we have been married for 4 years at first i had no clue . but every moring after i left for work my husband would watch porn and get him self off, even if we had sex the night before . now its geting to where he gets on the internet to watch coupels ...

A.   29 October 2010: I think quickly closing the page and pretending to be looking at AutoTrader must be a universal trait ... ; )... (read in full...)

I'm 18 and dating a 42 year old married man!

Q.   I've kind of dug myself a grave here. I'm dating a man who's 42, and I'm only 18. But there one huge problem that I used to let slide but now it's starting to get to me. He's married. I used to just brush it off, but every time I see his and her car ...

A.   28 October 2010: You seem to be forgetting that 'she' hasn't done anything wrong. She presumably loves and trusts her husband, who is having sex with a teenage neighbour. That makes him a bad guy, and you a bad girl. This is not true love: this is your first ... (read in full...)

I tried to get her interested in me, never planning on following through, and now I've got a problem!

Q.   I've got myself into an awkward position. I am married 12 years with two children, very happy and wouldn't change that for the world. I love my wife dearly. However, there was a similarly aged lady at work who I thought was quite attractive, she ...

A.   28 October 2010: I don't understand - is the last anon female the actual woman in this story, or another in a similar one? Either way, the man has to withdraw and the woman has to live with it. So yes, he has harmed her, and her marriage. But this way he harms on... (read in full...)

I tried to get her interested in me, never planning on following through, and now I've got a problem!

Q.   I've got myself into an awkward position. I am married 12 years with two children, very happy and wouldn't change that for the world. I love my wife dearly. However, there was a similarly aged lady at work who I thought was quite attractive, she ...

A.   27 October 2010: I think you should just change the signals, in a very definite way, to this lady. She will get the message. However, it will be easier on her if you take a moment to explain to her something along the lines of: I am sorry. I have to apologis... (read in full...)

Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?

Q.   How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...

A.   23 October 2010: I don't think we're talking about hiding stuff here - I think we're just saying that basically, hearing about your partner's past sexual exploits is very unpleasant, and we all suffer from retrospective jealousy, however insane that might be, so why ... (read in full...)

Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?

Q.   How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...

A.   19 October 2010: No, you don't need to - and positively shouldn't. This isn't you not sharing things with him. This is you not distressing him with silly things that you know meant nothing, but he might get upset about. You are right. Don't spoil his image of... (read in full...)

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