A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I am a 16 year old female, I have a boyfriend and I love him to death but my best friend is really starting to get in the way! She admited to me two weeks ago that she is a lesbian and she hasn't stopped harassing me since. She keeps like touching me all over, forcibly kissing me and squeezing my breast so hard that I want to throw up, even my BF is far more controlled, sweet and genitle when handling my breast and he's a horney teenage guy. I keep telling her that I am only attracted to men and boys but she won't back off and even seems to like it when I struggle. She says that all women are inheritly bisexual by nature and that I haven't gotten used to women yet but it still feels violating and wrong to me. She's also has been very mean to my BF lately. Doing everything from calling him a stupid weak wuss to kicking him in his balls. One time she was forcibly squeezing my beasts and my BF grabed her and told her to stop. Being a gentlemen and not hitting or choking out a girl all he did was grab her. When he let her go she kicked him between the legs with high heels and when he went to the ground she stopped on that part of his body and began twisting her heel into it. I was so pissed that I didnt know what to do or say except to slap the hell out of her face but now I feel bad about it. This has only been going on for two weeks and she has had some awful experiences lately. She has been doing drugs and her father has been molesting her as well. Should we forgive her and assume that this is a temporary phase or should I end the friendship? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): aww.... Poor Guy!! I really feel the most sympathy for him because he was just tying to help and protect you from that crazy b*tch that you call a ''best friend''! Did you take you boyfriend to the doctor or at the very least give him a testicle massage with ointment or ice water? Hitting, kicking, squeezing and stomping breasts and testicles are completely Inexusable acts and are not ''jokes'' when performed in an assaulting, non-defensive manner. You don't have to be a male in order to be guilty of rape and sexual assault and this girl is a RAPIST!! Stay away from her and do NOT get involved with the situation with her father or bother to report it to the police. Its her problem so you should just keep it that way. Your only concern should be about you and your boyfriend and your lucky that he didn't break up with you over that because most guys would have left and he shouldn't have to put up with that crap anyways. He sounds like a sweetheart, treat him with respect honey!
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (5 September 2011):
It is good that you are understanding of her situation, which is not a good one. However, if she is going be a friend she needs to behave like a friend. To kick your boyfriend like that is not funny, it is not a game, and it can result in permanent physical damage. To hurt someone like that is assult, the fact that she is young does not excuse it. An adult could be arrested and have to face court over such an act, it is unacceptable.
Her groping of your breasts and forcibly kissing you against your will and when you obviously don't want her too, and while she knows you have a boyfriend, is a form of sexual harrassment. The fact that you are "friends" does not excuse this either, and this is something else that an adult could be arrested and have to face court over. It is totally unacceptable.
She might call herself your friend, but she isn't behaving like a friend. Until she can learn to behave like a friend, you should understand that she isn't your friend. Don't give up on her though, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable, and that you don't consider her a friend if she is going to behave that way, but that you would like for her to be your friend if she is able to be. Make it clear though that you won't accept her current behaviour, and stick to that. Which means, if she lets you down, cut your contact with her. Give her a chance, but don't let her walk over you and take advantage of you in a way that could really be damaging to you if it really makes you feel bad about yourself and her.
Finally, and most importantly, you MUST tell someone that your friend is being molested by her father. It is not ok to keep quiet about it, the longer it goes on the worse it is for her. Remember, a friend would not let a friend be molested by anyone, and say nothing. Speak to your parents about it first, and encourage her to speak to a counsellor or phone a help line that can help people who are in her position, so that she can learn what to do about what is happening, and make the best choices for her life while she still can. Let her know that there is something she can do about it, she isn't helpless, and if she does act, things will actually be ok, in fact, they will be better, than if she doesn't. This is a crime, and like any crime but especially one of this kind of really serious nature, the police MUST be informed. This is something you can let your parents do, or whoever you speak to, or you can do this yourself if you feel ok to do it. You can notify the police anonymously if you wish to, but realise that you will probably need to speak to them at some point, because you are her friend and they will want to speak to her friends.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This girl needs some serious help.I have a sneaking feeling the abuse she has been suffering is hurting he far more than she will ever admit and she has equated heterosexual activity with that abuse.So when she sees you and your guy doing what all young lovers do, she doesn't see a friend who is happy with someone, she sees a small, defeatable version of her father, who she is unable stand up against. She also must see your boyfriend as a big bad male who is only wanting to take you away from her.So she acts out, helped of course by the drugs, and tries to dominate you and your boyfriend because she can't do that with the person that is actually hurting her.Yes, she is being mean, selfish and destructive and no, you should not EVER take that kind of crap and your boyfriend is a saint for not fighting back, no one would say a word against him if he had fought back after taking a high-heel to the nuts.But it's not because she hates you or wants to hurt you, it's because by dominating, even in this cruel and hurtful fashion, she feels a sense of power that the abuse is robbing her.I won't say abandon her, but you need to get her help. She needs to detox and get clean, talk to a professional and get out of that house and bring the abuse to an end and the abuser to justice. Not for vengeance, not to see him suffer, but to look him in the eye on that stand and silently tell him he doesn't have power over her.But one way or the other... you HAVE to deal with this because as bad as it is now, she can and WILL get much, much worse.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (4 September 2011):
 End the friendship for the moment, until she is sorted out, and possibly never resume it. However, go to a school counsellor or someone to discuss what to do with her. She needs help.
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A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (4 September 2011):
 Poor guy :/I think that she might have more than sexual feelings for you..You are straith and you love your boyfriend. Thats all there is to it. Tell her that your not bi(not even curious) and that she is your best friend but you want it to be just that, nothing more. If she continues you should stop being friends with her, which is not easy as she is your best friend, but this kinda behaviour is not acceptable . Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy, what is he suggesting.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (4 September 2011):
 End this friendship. She's being vindictive and inconsiderate. She is sexually harassing you and this is not okay.
Refer her to a counselor, but from that point on distance yourself. She has done irrecoverable things to your friendship. If you care about your boyfriend and your own strength to be able to truly say NO then you should end the friendship.
Her father molesting her is a terrible thing, but the drugs can be avoided. Don't be sympathetic for that.
Make it clear to her that her harassment has to stop.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (4 September 2011):
 If this was a male friend coming on to you, groping you and forcing himself on you, this would be classed as sexual assault. Just because it is another girl, doesnt make any difference.
You have told her to back off, you have said you are not interested in women, you have said NO on multiple occasions.
By continuing with this behaviour she is crossing the line. Also, the way she has treated your boyfriend could also be classed as an assault too, kicking a man in the balls and then stepping on them with heels could do lasting damage to him.
You need to remove yourself from this girls company. Stand firm and keep yourself away from her.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 September 2011):
 You definitely need to end this friendship if you want to stop feeling uncomfortable. She is harassing and forcing herself on you, which you shouldn't allow at all, even if she's your best friend. Talk to her one more time and make it clear that if she refuses to stop touching you and respect your boundaries, that you can't be a part of her life anymore. What she has going on at home is a separate matter that shouldn't be taken out on you. She should get the police involved or at least start seeing a therapist. And let her know that she needs to apologize to your bf because she was completely out of line.
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A
female
reader, xosingerxo +, writes (4 September 2011):
Don't end the friendship. But you both need to set up a day with the school counselor. Just the two of you go. Because she needs to see someone and you need a safe place to explain what has been happening. Hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, xosingerxo +, writes (4 September 2011):
Don't end the friendship. But you both need to set up a day with the school counselor. Just the two of you go. Because she needs to see someone and you need a safe place to explain what has been happening. Hope that helps.
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