I'm eight months pregnant and the baby's father is incommunicado.
Q. Hello, I need some advice please, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and the baby's father hasn't been in contact with me since we split up 3 month ago. I've tried ringing him and have had no answer to my calls or texts. Its like he isn't interested, and I hear ...
A. 22 February 2012: I don't think I would want him at the birth.
There is this syndrome: when you are pregnant, the father will be nice to you because ... really he's just being nice to the baby, who is inside you. As soon as the baby comes out, he will shower t... (read in full...)
After being raped, are women ever able to enjoy sex?
Q. Nearly three years ago I was raped, so I have never had sex other than that one time. I have started a relationship with someone and I like him and he respects me, but I don't want to have sex. Do other women actually want sex after rape or do ...
A. 20 February 2012: I think you need to start first building up physical trust, as slowly as you need to. You need to know first and foremost that you can trust him absolutely not to do anything unless you want to. And also that his warmth and strength are only to ... (read in full...)
Do I tell this guy I'm pregnant?
Q. I might be pregnant. It's outside of a relationship, although we're good friends. I don't have anyone else to talk to this about and I'm freaking out. I'm two weeks late. I've already gone to the doctor and discussed everything which you could ...
A. 19 February 2012: You should talk to him, BUT ONLY WHEN YOU ARE 100% SURE YOU ARE PREGNANT. I am not quite sure why you are two weeks late and don't have a confirmed pregnancy, because this isn't very common - there would more likely be another reason. You might have ... (read in full...)
My mom's death is taking a toll on all of us. How can I help my younger sister and sort everything out?
Q. I am a 13 year old girl. I am quite mature for my age; however I really don’t feel ready to handle what is happening to me right now. My mother died a few months ago, after her 2nd struggle with cancer. My dad was obviously incredibly upset when it ...
A. 19 February 2012: You poor, poor child. You know, I am sure your mother would be so proud of you, and how you are trying to sort everything out, and how you are looking after your little sister.
Sometimes, after someone dies, other people (eg, your dad) just see... (read in full...)
I have major problems with my boyfriend's personal choices!
Q. So I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 40. I know it seems like a big age gap but it has worked for us and we get along so well... Until recently. Basically he is a self employed builder and hasn't had work for a gd few months, he has been able to hav...
A. 18 February 2012: I also hate to say it, but being 43 myself, I know something about men. He is the loser type. Basically, he will be really nice to you, but the solid things like money, responsibility, home-making, holidays, plans and a future ... won't be there. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 7 years says if I don't give him a child he will leave me
Q. So, My bf of 7yrs has giving me an ultimatum that if I don't give him a kid he is going to leave me..Mind you he has a daughter who is being raised by her mother and he feels since he has no say he is giving up and wants to have one with me cuz he's ...
A. 17 February 2012: I'm sorry, but couldn't it just be that he would like to have a child of his own, who lives with him and you? Think about it. You have that. You have both your children with you. He has effectively lost his only child. And maybe, yes, he didn't ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f about my fetish
Q. Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem ...
A. 17 February 2012: So why don't you not present it rather creepily as a 'fetish', but tell her that it turns you on to have sex while she's doing the washing up?... (read in full...)
I don't want a baby right now, but it seems like my body is screaming at me to have one
Q. I'm 16. I'm in a stable relationship with a guy who I adore (don't care how immature this sounds- he makes me the happiest I've ever felt and treats me like a princess). Ever since meeting him, I've become so broody. Like, I can't stop looki...
A. 17 February 2012: Yes, of course your body is doing just that. You are at the height of your fertility. You are young and healthy. It is the ideal time for your body to reproduce. You are also in a totally stable relationship with a man with whom you are completely ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay or bisexual?
Q. Ok here goes... I'm 18, and my husband is 19. we've been married for 8 months. we have a daughter, who is 2 years and 2 months and i'm 11 weeks pregnant with our second child. Basically, i know in my heart that my husband is gay. He claim...
A. 17 February 2012: Look, he is who he is. You actually love him for who he is. You have everything. Everything we would all love to have if we could ... a lovely daughter, a baby on the way, an amazing, loving guy who adores you and the children, and with whom you ... (read in full...)
In love with friend of my bf of 5 years...but don't want to hurt my bf. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I have gotten myself into a huge mess and I'm hoping for some outside input please, and this could be a long one. Okay for starters prior to all this, my boyfriend and I had been together going on five years, we live together and all ...
A. 17 February 2012: Glad that helps. But remember: the boyfriend is an EX boyfriend.
Just start with that, stick with it, and the rest will follow. Do it. It will be worth it. You won't regret it. And you are really young, and relatively new to all of this. I wish s... (read in full...)
In love with friend of my bf of 5 years...but don't want to hurt my bf. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I have gotten myself into a huge mess and I'm hoping for some outside input please, and this could be a long one. Okay for starters prior to all this, my boyfriend and I had been together going on five years, we live together and all ...
A. 16 February 2012: You MUST be strong and not get back with your ex. You managed to make the break. Don't let all that effort be in vain.
Have no doubt: the guy who was your boyfriend is not for you. He is not your man. You shouldn't be with him. It is right no... (read in full...)
If I ejaculate after her menstrual cycle, can she get pregnant?
Q. if i ejaculate having unprotected sex after her menstrual cycle, will she get pregnant? ...
A. 16 February 2012: Yes, that's the best time to do it to get pregnant.
Perfect time to start is about 4 days after the last day of her period.
... (read in full...)
Why does this guy act like he likes me when he has a girlfriend?
Q. I have a guy friend and we joke around but I like him as a friend. He teases and makes jokes about me. The other night I think he'd been drinking. He came up to me and was trying to get my attention. I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted ...
A. 10 February 2012: His relationship is already messed up. That is nothing to do with you.
It is very simple. The guy has a girlfriend, but has fallen in love with you. He is trying to see whether you like him, as well. ... (read in full...)
being married to him is a daily shake of the dice wondering which personality he will have that day
Q. Hi my husband goes through long periods of being nice sometimes even a couple months but he always starts that way and then one day boom he is yelling at me to clean the fridge or something the moment I get up. Then he is mad at me all day and ...
A. 4 February 2012: Well, I think that if he has 'long periods' (which I guess is probably weeks, if not months?' of showering you with gifts and being nice and not being bad at all, then he really can do it if he wants/needs to. So, given how badly you think your ... (read in full...)
I'm eight months pregnant and the baby's father is incommunicado.
Q. Hello, I need some advice please, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and the baby's father hasn't been in contact with me since we split up 3 month ago. I've tried ringing him and have had no answer to my calls or texts. Its like he isn't interested, and I hear ...
A. 1 February 2012: He is stupid, stupid, stupid ... he is missing out on the best thing of his life.
What about his parents? The baby's grandparents? Maybe they want to be involved? They should be. This is a child on the way. A small person. Needs all the family h... (read in full...)
I want a baby but I don't want a relationship just to make babies.
Q. Well, I am 19 years old and want a child so bad I can hardly wait. Yet I have been waiting for 2yrs now and am tired of waiting. I am mature, live on my own, have a job and everything else I need. I even have taken parenting classes and already have ...
A. 1 February 2012: I'm sorry but a baby needs a family - two parents - a father as well as a mother, and preferably living in the same house and loving the baby as well, but if not, at least a father having a relationship with his child.
You do actually need a m... (read in full...)
I really hurt my mom by a comment. What can I do?
Q. I think I really hurt my mom really bad. So we were eating breakfast and my mom starts talking about my wieght. She always does we can't go a date without the subject I know she really cares for me. She cares for my health because I'm obese. But I ...
A. 1 February 2012: Just go to her and say i am really sorry, mom, i just felt really upset about my weight and i just said that, but i didn't meant it. Please forgive me. Sorry. ... (read in full...)
Husband confessed to having sex with a prostitute 3 years back during an official trip. Now he has a trip to Bangkok coming up and I'm horrified at the thought of letting him go!
Q. Some 3 years back my husband had sex with a prostitute on an official trip abroad, he back and confessed too but since then I cannot trust him and I am constantly living under the fear that sooner or later he will do it again. How can I start trus...
A. 1 February 2012: I think your only hope is to explain it to him just as you have explained here.
He must know how that affected you, and of course it is only natural that you would be worried about this trip. In your place, I too would be worried.
It is a... (read in full...)
Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 29 January 2012: I think it is weird that she does this, but I also think it weird that you don't just say 'hey, stop - wait for me!'. And I would then just grab her by the arm, which will force her to keep step with you. Or, say: 'look, this is driving me up th... (read in full...)
She blows off a date twice and then ends things saying she's had enough?
Q. think only woman can help me here the problem is we have been together 4 years both have our own houses the problem is it was my birthday 2 weeks ago she says she wasnt well enough to go out and get me a present we are both in our forties sorry ...
A. 27 January 2012: ps And of course I guess you realise that if she wasn't well, you shouldn't have pushed her about the present, made her feel bad and kind of emotionally blackmailed her. And then been officially offended and gone silent on her, in a mood.
I'm s... (read in full...)
She blows off a date twice and then ends things saying she's had enough?
Q. think only woman can help me here the problem is we have been together 4 years both have our own houses the problem is it was my birthday 2 weeks ago she says she wasnt well enough to go out and get me a present we are both in our forties sorry ...
A. 27 January 2012: She's thinking, I'm afraid, that the time has come to end this with you. She has probably been wanting to for some time - months, if not years (yes, believe me - that is possible). And now finally she has got to the point of not caring, so she is ... (read in full...)
Is it me or is it him? Has he brainwashed me, or do I need to end the relationship?
Q. Back on here again about the same person I put a question on here about in 2010. I suppose that says it all. I desperately need some advice so if anyone can spare 5 mins to read this I'd appreciate it. I'm in a very troublesome relationship. ...
A. 26 January 2012: and ps ...
just your tone 'if he is living in my house rent-free ...' sounds bad.
If you are giving something for 'free', you have to do it generously and with no strings. You can't later then complain all the time that they are getting some... (read in full...)
Is it me or is it him? Has he brainwashed me, or do I need to end the relationship?
Q. Back on here again about the same person I put a question on here about in 2010. I suppose that says it all. I desperately need some advice so if anyone can spare 5 mins to read this I'd appreciate it. I'm in a very troublesome relationship. ...
A. 26 January 2012: A couple of things here.
Yes, I think you are being OTT if you expect a bloke to puff up the cushions after he's watched a film. The kind of bloke that would do that would also probably be wearing pink and preferring guys, in my experien... (read in full...)
I want to have a second baby but where's the potential dad?
Q. Im nearly 30 and im desperate for another child! I have a 7 yr old daughter I was with her father 5 yrs! I met a man who I was totally madly inlove with and I would of loved for him to be the father of my child, but love is blind and this man was ...
A. 23 January 2012: and p.s.
I know that of course you have a family in yourself and your daughter, but it really is not the same as having a man in the family as well, and other siblings and/or the possibility to have more children whenever you and your partner ... (read in full...)
I want to have a second baby but where's the potential dad?
Q. Im nearly 30 and im desperate for another child! I have a 7 yr old daughter I was with her father 5 yrs! I met a man who I was totally madly inlove with and I would of loved for him to be the father of my child, but love is blind and this man was ...
A. 23 January 2012: I understand, I so understand. It is a terrible longing, and I know you want not just a baby, but also, as you say, the kind of normal, kind, reasonable partner we with children all dream of.
BUT, and this is a big but - you really do have tim... (read in full...)
Why do teenagers get more criticism, when they become pregnant?
Q. ok im 18 now and before i tell u my story i have a question.. why is it that when somebody young ends up pregnant they are judged and discouraged. sometimes even pretty much told to have an abortion..when we can be just as good as parents as some 30 ...
A. 21 January 2012: I agree - it is very unfair, and pretty daft, I think.
In other countries - even other European countries - it isn't a problem. For example, in Poland it is perfectly normal to have babies when you are 20, 21 or so, and if someone just happens ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 21 January 2012: I would also go pretty mad at this. It isn't like you've been together for years and have got to the point where you feel totally confident in your relationship and where you are - it is early days. And yes, stroking someone like that is something ... (read in full...)
What is this older man thinking?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts. What conclusions can be made from this? I'd been seeing a 27 year old for a while. I had only just recently turned 18. I decided to take things veryy slowly with this man as I wasn't too happy with the age gap, but sadly began to f...
A. 21 January 2012: Conclusion: he is a greaseball.... (read in full...)
Can this kind of man turn on any kind of woman?
Q. Hello women out there. Would it be true that any man within the average range of attractiveness, taking into account looks, clothing, job, education, etc, who is also totally comfortable in his own skin, has his own goals that he's heading toward ...
A. 20 January 2012: Ok. First principle: within max. 13 seconds of meeting someone, you know whether you want to get close to them. This is a physical, chemical thing which operates completely apart from your conscious/subconscious assessment of things like how much he ... (read in full...)
In love with another man, how do I leave my marriage?
Q. I am in a very difficult situation. I could really use everybody's help. I have been married for many years and have children. I have not been happy in my marriage for the last several years but stayed because of the children, financial securi...
A. 19 January 2012: I think you should first consider the children. I really do.
... (read in full...)
I've had 2 relationships but slept with 60 guys!
Q. heya, im 21 and have slept with 60 boys, but only ever had 2 serious realtionships. i know i have to change my ways but i dont know how help !!...
A. 19 January 2012: Pretty simple. Completely give up all alcohol, and don't go out at night. Try that for 6 months and I bet you won't have slept with anyone for that time.
Seriously.
And if you keep sleeping with everyone, you will, without doubt, at some p... (read in full...)
I'm not an Alpha Male but do I still have a chance with Women?
Q. I have the most bizzar issue in the world of dating and I am certian that I am the only heterosexual male who has encountered this. I've been very successful but I was alway thought of in a negative light by my family so I have never really seen ...
A. 19 January 2012: What is this A list, C list, nonsense? All girls aren't 'A list', are they? There is a whole range of people out there. You just need to calm down, and just be genuine and approachable, and frankly you need to take up one of these women who seem ... (read in full...)
My husband was sex texting his ex and I can't trust him now!
Q. about a year ago i found that my husband to be, was sex texting his ex. i almost left him, but we just had a baby and i really love him (typical). he has been proving to me all year how devoted he is to the family. we r a family of 5. 2 other ...
A. 19 January 2012: I think that if he has been making the effort to prove himself to you, and you have a great time together, and a great family, then don't give a stuff where or who he texts - just drop it. It doesn't matter. What matters is you and him together, and ... (read in full...)
Caught between two men! What do I do?
Q. ok, so this is long, and complicated, and tricky, and anything else you can think of... i've been with the most amazing, wonderful guy for 2 years on the 1st of may this year, he lives in london, and i live in the south west of uk in cornwall...
A. 16 January 2012: It's pretty simple. The 'friend' is some kind of narcissist or sociopath or both or something else, and is manipulative, and has probably read lots of books on how to get girls when you aren't physically appealing. He is a type. There are guys like ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: Looking at it again - I think you mean that she had two miscarriages before that ended with surgical cleaning out of the womb.
In which case, she has had three pregnancies which have gone wrong. So you should feel REALLY REALLY sorry for her, and... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: I don't understand - if this was her third 'abortion', then why did you say it was a miscarriage? Big difference.
So, has she had two abortions before, and one now, or miscarriage(s)? If she had two abortions before she met you, to be honest t... (read in full...)
I'm sad I had my baby and now he's just going to get bigger! Has anyone felt this way?
Q. Hello everyone. this is my question. i just had a baby 3 days ago, and, well instead of having post partum depression, im having quite the opposite. It seems im sad now because hes out of my tummy and is only going to get bigger from here on out :( ...
A. 13 January 2012: It isn't unusual - I understand why you feel like that. I think a lot of women feel all empty when their baby is not in their tummy any more - if you think about it, that makes total sense. I have had two babies, and both times I felt empty and sad. ... (read in full...)
Why did this woman back off after I ended the relationship with my girlfriend?
Q. Ok. So I recently got out of a nearly two year relationship. My girlfriend and I were long distance and weren't able to see eachother that often.When we were together we both had accounts on OkCupid looking for friends (but thats it). A few wee...
A. 8 January 2012: Yes, you made yourself go from safe male acquaintance with whom she could flirt with impunity, to unsafe man who might have made himself free to respond to her advances.
You need to text or email in a casual way, saying hey what's going on - whe... (read in full...)
Are these withdrawal thoughts or should I have given him another chance?
Q. We broke up this week after just over a year together. I did a huge amount to make things work on my end. He was young, but even his closest friends saw him change positively for being with me. I blew so much out of proportion, but he also has no ...
A. 8 January 2012: Hi. Sorry, but this all sounds a bit confusing ... you were together a year ... he didn't make any effort in the relationship until the last two weeks, but then you ditched him? ... he said the relationship would never go anywhere because you are ... (read in full...)
Why are people extremely against abortion?
Q. abortion is accepted in society now, its not an illegal act and a majority of people worldwide have had it. i understand that there are extreme ethical and social issues, and dont get me wrong, i dont aprove it, i would hate to kill a precious ...
A. 6 January 2012: Your family and friends have a very straightforward belief: as soon as conception occurs, a life has been created. Ok, it starts out as a tiny little life, and develops into a baby, then is born, then develops through childhood to an adult, but the ... (read in full...)
Losing the baby, financial difficulties, my drinking, his insensitivity... it's all a big mess!
Q. Hi all. I have a very difficult situation and am very torn as to what to do. I have always had a difficult situation with my bf but recently things got worse. In October we bought a house together and we have a joint mortgage. I also found out that...
A. 5 January 2012: You are still together. You did get through the miscarriage. You are both still reeling a bit, but you have both returned to your world together.
That he couldn't cope with your breakdown is not an indictment of your relationship - it just sho... (read in full...)
My BF will flip out over this. But was unacceptable for my coworker to give me, and the others, a quick hug?
Q. Ok. So heres my question, please give me your opinions/advice whatever it may be! So today everyone in the office bought a gift we all contributed to for a male coworker. He gave everyone a quick hug, male and female. I know my boyfriend wouldn...
A. 1 January 2012: What??!! This is crazy. A work acquaintance gives everyone a small hug to thank them for buying him a present, and you think your partner would flip out at this? I'm sorry but you really have this massively out of perspective. It is not something ... (read in full...)
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