A
female
age
30-35,
*lydiese
writes:Hi again aunts and uncles. I gave online dating a try and so far its going quite well. Ive been talking to this guy who just seems so sweet and kind and he seems to really like me but the problem is i'm not attracted to him in the slightest but he just has this great personality ahh i keep trying t force myself to be attracted to him but it doesnt seem to be working. He wants to meet up and get to know me, my question is do i go and see if anything sparks between us or just find someone i'm attracted to?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): I wouldn't meet up with him. There is such as thing as love at first sight. I think love is blind after that first spark. You say you are not the slightest bit attracted to him physically. It won't work. I know some people in relationships who were not attracted to their significant others but compromised. They are still looking even though they are still in the relationship! I would keep it friends at best--if he doesn't want to be just friends then I think I would cut him off.
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 August 2011):
 I don't think you should go and meet him.
This is the problem with online communication. You get a picture in your head of who the person is, and you generally make them attractive to yourself. You then see and/or meet them, and they are totally different and you don't like them - you don't want them anywhere near you. Rest assured that if you have been emailing, etc, this guy, then he definitely has an interest in you and hopes to be in a relationship with you. He doesn't just want to be friends.
So don't make it worse. I think you should just say you are really sorry but you have met someone (let him down gently - don't tell him the truth - you don't have to, as, again, he doesn't actually know you) - just tell him something he can accept with grace, and then STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HIM. It isn't fair to him. But don't meet him. It will be a nightmare.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Sounds like a friend instead of boyfriend material.
You can't force yourself to be physically attracted to someone. Don't set yourself up for failure like that hon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): Hi. I would just go and meet him if you like him as a person. At best you might find he is far more attractive in person. Not everyone looks good on webcams or in pictures! And even if hes looks aren't to your taste, he might turn into a good friend. Just play it cool and don't rush into making any decisions until you know him well.
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