I'm attracted to this much older woman! What should I do?
Q. OK.... So I have this aunt who isnt really my aunt... she was my moms best friend since i could remember. How ever my mom and her are not friends any more but her and I have gotten closer and closer. We have grown into our own relationship and we ...
A. 17 September 2010: Classic Mrs Robinson scenario. She's 48. Of course she knows what's going on. And if she is down the gym all the time, i very very much doubt that she hasn't got a lover or lovers somewhere - she just doesn't tell you about it. You are infatuated; ... (read in full...)
He wants a 'break' for a couple months! I don't understand..help!
Q. hi! i'd appreciate it if u can give me good advice.i had a boyfriend i loved very much and i believe he loves me too, at least he was. we can't make a dicision about where we live after our marriage. he and their family want us to go back their city ...
A. 17 September 2010: i don't know whether he really wants a break, but he clearly can't cope with the pull of his family and the pull of you, and he needs one side to cave in. He can't change or move his family, so you either have to cave or walk. I think that's about ... (read in full...)
His co-dependant relationship with his daughter has me concerned. Any advice?
Q. I have been married for 18 years and have overlooked my husband's codependency all along, until now. The relationship with his daughter who is 31 is starting to make me feel even more uncomfortable. She has always been treated like the wife and I ...
A. 17 September 2010: I think this is actually about your feelings of being not loved as much by your husband as he loves his children with another woman.
Sorry to put it bluntly like that, but that is really what you are saying. I don't think there is anything... (read in full...)
Trying to address sexual incompatability with my husband
Q. Been married almost 12 years, but for various reasons (health, baby) stopped having sex with my husband for many years. I didn't realize how frustrated I was until I recently had sex with another man, which opened the universe for me. It wasn't at ...
A. 17 September 2010: I think the other answers are a bit harsh, really. So many people come on here for advice having cheated, and often go on about feeling bad, but I think you have a clear sense of practicalities, rather than being hung up on morality. That doesn't ... (read in full...)
International women student stereotype
Q. I was having a very terrible time with my husband and I am a student in the university. One evening my husband abused me a lot and I decided to quit the relationship that day.(though the relationship was worst for last 5 years). While I was sitting ...
A. 14 September 2010: sorry to ask - but where are you from? And where is this man from? He sounds very strange, and you sound very vulnerable. I am worried for you : (... (read in full...)
How do I give a blowjob to my boyfriend who has a lot of cum?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I am 20 and he is 21. I took his virginity right before his 21st birthday. But I had only had sex with one other guy before him and I had only given a bj before sex so I had never ...
A. 14 September 2010: poor bloke, poor you. ok, yes - it is an acquired taste, and an acquired skill. loving someone helps a lot with it. yes, often your jaws will ache, yes, it is a kind of full-on experience, but if you love him, you will start to try to do it feeling ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 14 September 2010: he's not an ape! why don't you just have sex with him?? he is your husband, after all. you are his only chance.... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 8 September 2010: Why should I want him to have to do it himself??... (read in full...)
Cursing...
Q. Would you allow your boyfriend to curse at you and call you a bitch during an argument? ...
A. 8 September 2010: It's not really a question of allowing or not, is it? So, in an argument, he swears and you and calls you names - how do you stop him? Tell him it is not acceptable? Walk out of the room? Throw his things in the garden? Never speak to him again?
... (read in full...)
Pain during oral sex because he WON'T LISTEN to me
Q. First, he's not a boyfriend so the question of whether this guy cares about me or not is moot. However, I am somewhat confused by him. Last night, he kept saying how he wants me to orgasm really hard (squirt) and kept saying that. So he did oral ...
A. 8 September 2010: He's just stupid.... (read in full...)
Pain during oral sex because he WON'T LISTEN to me
Q. First, he's not a boyfriend so the question of whether this guy cares about me or not is moot. However, I am somewhat confused by him. Last night, he kept saying how he wants me to orgasm really hard (squirt) and kept saying that. So he did oral ...
A. 8 September 2010: He's just stupid.... (read in full...)
I said yes to a threesome now I am second guessing this!
Q. I'm almost 15 years old and i'm with an older guy. He's 16 turning 17. We've been together for a while about afew months. We fell in love, or atleast I did. And yesterday out of the blue he asked me to join in on a threesome he wants to have with ...
A. 8 September 2010: You must tell him that you are sorry but you truly aren't comfortable with it, and you don't want to do it. If you get caught up in this without fully wanting to, it will be v damaging for you emotionally, and for your relationship. Persuade him to ... (read in full...)
What to do when head and heart are telling you different things?
Q. What can you do when your heart and head are in conflict about your relationship? What can you do when your heart is telling you this is the woman of your dreams, someone you completely love and would wait an eternity for, while your head is sta...
A. 7 September 2010: you can't help how you feel about her, and you can't change how she feels about you ... so don't panic ... go with your heart (you don't have any choice) ... and see what happens. you may be wrong about her feelings. give it a bit of time ...... (read in full...)
I plan to tell my b/f about my drunken indescretion
Q. So a couple nights ago I had way too much to drink and I made out with a guy. He seemed gay to me...he was wearing blue eyeshadow and was grinding with other dudes, but he claimed to like girls. I have no idea what came over me, I wasn't even ...
A. 5 September 2010: one question: you didn't fancy the guy - you were just drunk and he was there - what is the point of telling your boyfriend and making a huge thing out of this (nothing) ?? it need only be a lesson to you: don't - even if drunk - let yourself do ... (read in full...)
My husband met up with his ex and now wants to split
Q. I have an 8 yr marriege... My husband met up with his ex 3 weeks ago.. We were already having problems.. but this made up his mind.. after 3 weeks he wants too sell house and completely split.. Whats going thru his head??...
A. 31 August 2010: I'm sorry - it sounds like seeing his ex has reminded him of life on the outside of marriage, and he wants that freedom. You don't say how serious the problems seem in the marriage, but I guess for him they are serious enough that he doesn't see a ... (read in full...)
Our open marriage has become a disaster
Q. This is complicated; you've been warned! My husband and I have always idealized, even before we were together, a committed relationship that does not involve monogamy. While I always thought it sounded great, I had doubts about how many people ...
A. 31 August 2010: I'm sorry this has backfired so badly. I know the obvious thing to say is that it is kind of your (plural) own fault for going into something that is clearly so fraught with possibilities for things going wrong, but I guess you went into it honestly ... (read in full...)
Why did I put up with this for so long?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 years. For the first 2 years my partner's ex-wife and son lived abroad but have been living in the same county for the last 4. Just before they returned we moved to a different part of the country for better jobs ...
A. 30 August 2010: ps
but i have a question for you ... what would you have done had you had a young toddler with this man, who adored her daddy, and didn't notice at all any tension between the two of you? Would you still have left, or would you have stayed, sacr... (read in full...)
Why did I put up with this for so long?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 years. For the first 2 years my partner's ex-wife and son lived abroad but have been living in the same county for the last 4. Just before they returned we moved to a different part of the country for better jobs ...
A. 30 August 2010: Precisely because you were a reasonable, decent person, who felt presented with someone who was to some extent a victim, and who you both loved and wanted to help. You were so understanding and accommodating because you felt that was what was due, ... (read in full...)
Freaked out BF in bed and he left!
Q. ok -- this is going to take a second so I will do a TL;DR. first, this is a throwaway account b/c... so, here's the deal: tonight I totally freaked out my boyfriend. I had hidden a piece of a hot dog (about 2 inches) which I had broken off before ...
A. 30 August 2010: i don't even reallly get. it. people seem to be saying that he might have thought you have a dick (?!) - but surely not a 2 inch one, and smoked at that??!!
I think it probably just grossed him out more than anything, and was a horrible, and weir... (read in full...)
Super Affectionate in Private, Cold in public
Q. I am a 29-year-old woman who has been dating a 40-year-old guy for over a year and a half. When we met and started dating, he had been divorced for a few months. When we first started dating, we kept it quiet because we know a lot of the same peop...
A. 30 August 2010: Definitely go for the counselling. If he is willing to do it, he recognises he has a problem, and he is prepared to try to deal with it, for your sake. That says a huge amount. Try out the counselling and see where it goes.
Otherwise, accept h... (read in full...)
How can I let go of this' office' attraction when it's going nowhere?
Q. Mod note:OP's own title I have a situation with a guy at work, we are both married and there has been a very strong attraction beween us for 14 months . We are at the point where we are wanting to touch each other whenever possible although n...
A. 30 August 2010: Although it may not seem credible now, there will come a time when this guy is no more colourful than the photo copier to you.
Even the most perfect of matches, if they come up at the wrong time or in the wrong place, can later be forgotte... (read in full...)
How do I tell my 3 year old..that my husband isn't her biological father?
Q. hi! I'm 22 years old and married to an amazing man! We have two children together but one is only biologically his! What i want to know is how do i tell my 3 yr old daughter that she has another father, while still making it clear that my husband ...
A. 30 August 2010: ok, so if your daughter already knows something about her biological father and is asking questions, then i guess you have no choice but to be straight with her. but you need to parcel it in a way that is acceptable, understandable, and not ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my 3 year old..that my husband isn't her biological father?
Q. hi! I'm 22 years old and married to an amazing man! We have two children together but one is only biologically his! What i want to know is how do i tell my 3 yr old daughter that she has another father, while still making it clear that my husband ...
A. 29 August 2010: Why do you have to tell her at all? Why can't you just leave her the gift of feeling at one with her world and her family? What on earth would be the point of telling her?
(and obviously of course you can't discuss that with a 3 year old - she wo... (read in full...)
My older BF said "I could be your dad...". What's going on??
Q. I'm 18, my bf is 34. We've been seeing each other for six months. I'm happy with him and he seems happy too. Lately though, we never seem to go out anymore. We cook at his place, read, watch movies and go to sleep and he clings to me like crazy and ...
A. 27 August 2010: If some smells make you physically sick, then I would bet good money on it you are pregnant. Go and take a test. It's the only way. Then you can start dealing with what is most probably happening.... (read in full...)
Having trouble staying interested in straight sex with my wife
Q. I have been faithful to my wife for the better part of two decades. I love her very much. Physically, however, I find myself having grown very bored with "regular" sex over the last few years. When we have sex, I have to fantacise to get into it. ...
A. 27 August 2010: I think BeSimplyTrue put it extremely well. Having 'a discussion' could be v painful, damaging and upsetting for your wife - which would have the opposite effect to what you want. And certainly keep that threesome idea totally to yourself!!!
I per... (read in full...)
My older BF said "I could be your dad...". What's going on??
Q. I'm 18, my bf is 34. We've been seeing each other for six months. I'm happy with him and he seems happy too. Lately though, we never seem to go out anymore. We cook at his place, read, watch movies and go to sleep and he clings to me like crazy and ...
A. 27 August 2010: Bless him. He is starting to feel really bad about the age difference. He is starting to feel uncomfortable about it, like he has done something wrong. As he is more with you, in day to day situations, he is realising that you are just a kid really, ... (read in full...)
5months pregnant... how to tell my mom?
Q. Okay I am 13 years old and 5 months pregnant..... I have no idea how to tell my mom and I don't know how she'll react. I've kept this from her for 3 months. I am not really showing yet. I have a little bump showing. A few of my closest friends know ...
A. 26 August 2010: Good luck : )
You are doing the right thing to tell your mum, and you have done so well to go to the doctor, etc, and deal with this all yourself. I'm sure your mum will come to see that, once she has got over the surprise.
You just have... (read in full...)
How do I protect my daughter?
Q. I’m busy divorcing my wife at the moment and it’s been an emotional rollercoaster ride from hell – my soon to be ex-wife (38) is a very intelligent, attractive and well qualified individual (two post grad degrees and currently studying towards a ...
A. 26 August 2010: What a nightmare this sounds for you ... it truly sounds just awful in so many ways, and the worst thing is that there is a poor little girl in the middle of it, who, it seems, would be far better off with you. What country do you live in that a ... (read in full...)
If I keep my cheating secret, will it come back to bite me later?
Q. What might be some negative consequences of marrying my fiancee without telling her that I cheated on her a year ago? We were clearly in a committed relationship back then, and I had sex with another woman--who you can say I had somewhat of an ...
A. 26 August 2010: Ok, well, I am going to say something different to everyone else so far.
I don't think you should tell her. And I don't think it will come back to bite you, as people seem to think, so long as the person with whom you were unfaithful (because... (read in full...)
Not on the pill, no condom! Pregnant?
Q. im 15, i lose my V 3 days ago to a 16 year old. im not on the pill, and he wasnt wearing a condom. we didnt stop for about 30mins. ist possiable for me to be pregnant?x...
A. 25 August 2010: Yes, you could easily be pregnant. ... (read in full...)
HELP I want to sleep with my dads best friend
Q. hi i am in a bit of a pickle my dad is 42 and his best fried is 38 i was introduced to him when i was 12 but now i am 18 i am a adult and my feelings to him have got stronger he is single. i think he likes me too he comes over to our house ...
A. 25 August 2010: This guy is way too old for you at the moment, and he should know better. Yes, of course he wants you, but he shouldn't have you, and I'm sure your dad would set him straight on that in an instant.
You are very vulnerable because you are so young... (read in full...)
Can someone marry you without your consent?
Q. Hi, I met a very nice guy on line and now he says he has his pastor sending me a marriage certificate and he is comeing to get me to take me home next month, can he do that without my consent? I am a little worried here!...
A. 25 August 2010: You must go straight to the police - this guy is very odd. If he has your address, you absolutely must tell someone. I think you sound quite young - tell your parents asap. Please.... (read in full...)
Are most men lazy?
Q. I am looking for a second opinion due to the lack of male influence growing up in my life. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2years. We are living together and discussing marriage. I am starting to question some issues regarding housework ...
A. 25 August 2010: Yes, they are. Well, not lazy exactly - but if they get half a chance to let you do everything, they will 'allow' you to do it.
You will find that being with a man long-term, you become his mother, lover and daughter. You do everything. If you a... (read in full...)
I'm fine with him watching porn but he lies about it!
Q. Ok, so its my first time writing on anything like this, but I've talked (complained...whatever) to what seems like a hundred people and I feel like I need some sort of advice as to what on earth to do! Here goes. I have been with my boyfriend f...
A. 25 August 2010: Sorry to say this, but he doesn't sound like a keeper to me ... (as in one to keep ... or not). Firstly, perhaps the cannabis is making him evasive/difficult - I know you think it isn't a problem if he admits it/doesn't hide it, but actually it does ... (read in full...)
How to gain confidence and weight?
Q. Hey readers, So I'm 14 and I'm not to happy with how my body ! Everyone says they wish they were me but I believe they say this just to say it . I'm skinny but I'm not super skinny. Lets just say I'm thin. My matabilism is very slow so its...
A. 25 August 2010: You don't understand what it is to be overweight (thank goodness!) - which is why you don't appreciate being thin.
Ok, I have been there - but you need to start to understand, or think about, the fact that things don't always stay the same. Wh... (read in full...)
Where are all the real women???
Q. I was what is called a player in my early 20's. Now I am 36 and a single Father to my amazing 5 yr old boy. I haven't dated since his mom left 5 years ago. I tried a couple of times but it seems like games. Most women are not interested once they ...
A. 3 August 2010: I don't know.
Personally, your history/situation sounds appealing to me - certainly wouldn't put me off! Tick list for me is:
- strong, decent person who has worked out what is important in life
- by a certain point in life, good job/secur... (read in full...)
Is he a gem? Or should I be a perfectionist?
Q. I have met the most incredible guy. He has a beautiful soul - kind, caring, intelligent, honest and selfless. He has impeccable manners such as opening doors for me, etc. I don't feel physically attracted to him totally yet, however when we get ...
A. 4 April 2010: Chemistry, or lack of it, is not a superficial thing that you can overlook.
If you don't fancy him now, you won't ever truly fancy him.
If you're happy to be in a relationship where you don't find the guy sexy, that's fine. Some women are, ... (read in full...)
Choosing between guys AND whether to abort or not!
Q. Well guys I'm stilled confused. My husband left me about eight mths ago and now I"m pregnant with another guy's baby. My husband recently contacted me with the hopes of us getting back together. When i went to see him he ask if I was pregnant and I ...
A. 4 April 2010: It seems that :
1. if you want to stay with your husband, you have to abort the pregnancy
2. if you want the baby, you have to go with the new guy
The sad thing is that if you do (1), you kill your child and probably devastate the child... (read in full...)
Left ex to shield child, now new hubby is 10 times worse???
Q. This is the first and only time I think I'll post anything about this situation. I'll just lay it all out and pray I get needful responses! Bare with me, theres so much to say!!! Back, 4 years ago I began dating this charming man I met at work. W...
A. 2 April 2010: This situation is unbearable for you and your son, and also pretty bad for the father who has never seen him.
The first guy wasn't so bad, no, because he loved you, and he wanted to love his child. You pushed him away. He was only upset that nig... (read in full...)
Signs are pointing to boyfriend cheating! Do you think he is?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 4 years and have been living with each other for the last 3 and a half years. I am worried that he has cheated on me several times but don't have any evidence - just gut feeling. The 1st year we live...
A. 2 April 2010: I think that you can't know the extent of his involvement with other women (whether just texts or actual physical sex), but you can and do know that he has conversations on a sexual level, and therefore that he is interacting on that level with ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband being so nasty?
Q. Hi there Agony Aunts and Uncles. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. The doctor ...
A. 1 April 2010: I'm so sorry. Yes, he is a difficult man with a temper problem, but stopping excusing him for a moment - his behaviour towards you is so exhausting and demeaning and disorientating because it is emotional abuse.
You have to decide what level of... (read in full...)
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