Why is my husband being so nasty?
Q. Hi there Agony Aunts and Uncles. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. The doctor ...
A. 1 April 2010: I'm so sorry. Yes, he is a difficult man with a temper problem, but stopping excusing him for a moment - his behaviour towards you is so exhausting and demeaning and disorientating because it is emotional abuse.
You have to decide what level of... (read in full...)
I want my baby but my boyfriend wants me to abort. Help!
Q. Okay so I'm 16 and 5 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is 17. Just hear me out okay (: Although my boyfriend of 19 months and I had talked about having kids, our baby was not planned. We weren't careful at all with protection and so inevitably, I fe...
A. 27 March 2010: If you don't want to abort this baby, then you absolutely must not.
That is where you start. This baby is alive, inside you, and is totally dependent on you for his or her life. You have to protect him or her, and nobody can make you have an abort... (read in full...)
Unreasonable???
Q. I need URGENT advice here, Me and and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years were due to view an apartment this evening which had been planned a few weeks ago. We were hoping to move into this apartment on 24th April, very soon. There has been a lot of ...
A. 24 March 2010: ps
and obviously the fact that your viewing was part of a pre-arranged plan is neither here nor there - babies come when they want or need to, and nobody can plan when.
and as for the several other alternatives to get to hospital - don't you real... (read in full...)
Unreasonable???
Q. I need URGENT advice here, Me and and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years were due to view an apartment this evening which had been planned a few weeks ago. We were hoping to move into this apartment on 24th April, very soon. There has been a lot of ...
A. 24 March 2010: i guess you don't yet realise how some things in life just overshadow everything else in terms of importance. people having babies, being ill, or dying, sort of change the day and the priorities. luckily in this case, it is for a happy reason - ... (read in full...)
Did my mum abuse me smacking me in this way?
Q. I'm nearly 14 and still got smacked by mom! Me and my little brother who's 10 were fighting out back and mom caught us, smacked my bro's butt a couple of times with her hand then she took off her shoe and smacked my ass 8 maybe 10 times pretty hard ...
A. 24 March 2010: no, it is not 'abuse'. don't worry. i think probably you and your bro had driven your mum mad - she was most cross with you, because you are older and should show your brother how to behave, and not fight. she wanted to show you that you can't ... (read in full...)
Can having diahorrea affect the pill?
Q. Hi I know this may be kinda gross but i still need to ask. My boyfriend of five years and I use the pill as our form of contraception, we have never used condoms as we dont enjoy using them. Anyway for the past few weeks i have had diahorrea on and ...
A. 6 December 2009: yes, it can, as it takes the hormone out of your body quicker, like being sick - it isn't absorbed properly. it's one of the most common causes of people getting pregnant while on the pill, as if the hormone level isn't so high, your own hormones ... (read in full...)
Losing control with teenagers!
Q. A couple of days ago I asked for help with my teenage sons and mentioned that I removed the older from my home due to violence. i had a few good helpful responses. This evening I asked my 15 year to wash his hair. I gave him money for barber...
A. 6 December 2009: I too understand, and I think the trick is absolutely not to take it personally - it is not your sons' fault - they are affected by hormones and basically don't behave and respond normally and reasonably. It's almost as if they are ill.
If yo... (read in full...)
Why does he keep trying to contact me after I deleted him?
Q. Hey Guys, I am wondering about something. A teacher and I got pretty close last year and I fell for him, he found out and he then took advantage of my feelings and wanted me for sex. This really hurt so in october I deleted him off of chat and then ...
A. 6 December 2009: wouldn't you find it hard?
he should of course stop, but in human terms it isn't difficult to understand why he finds that hard.... (read in full...)
I married in haste, and now he has changed for the worse
Q. Hi, I feel kind of weird writing this but I have no one else to talk to and I seriously don't know what else to do. I am 20 years old and just got married Oct. 9th at a courthouse to the guy I was in AIT training all summer with (for the army.) H...
A. 5 December 2009: You said:
Normally people don't say that stuff unless the other person does something horrible, and I know this is hard to believe, but I havn't done anything.
my 'partner' does exactly the same to me. i am beginning to think it is what weak me... (read in full...)
Stuck in a sexless marriage!
Q. Help! Since my wife has given birth to our two children (both are under 3 years old) she has pretty much become completely uninterested in sex. Not just the act of sex but also flirting, playing, making herself look sexy, touching me, cuddling me, ...
A. 4 December 2009: i am beginning to feel like the odd one out here ... i am a post-child woman who would still be happy to have sex 3 times a day! yes, i guess i am a bit more tired, and there is the thing of the baby waking up in the night, but at the same time i ... (read in full...)
Should I go with my husband to view his dead friend?
Q. My hubby's friend died and his viewing is tonight. He hasn't asked me directly to go with him, but when I ask him if he wants me to go, he says "I dont care, you can go if you want. What should I do?...
A. 3 December 2009: That is man-language for 'come with me'. No doubt about that. He just doesn't want to ask. You should go with him, but do it in a kind of 'oh, ok, why not, i'll come then ... he was a nice guy' - not implying your guy needs the support ... : )... (read in full...)
How can I get back my virginity?
Q. i lost my virginity with my wex bf... i need to get back my lost virginity ...
A. 3 December 2009: Oh, why is everyone being so nasty to you?
Look, I don't know why you need to get it back - is it a cultural/religious thing? Is it really important that you are a virgin?
If it is not this - just that you wish you hadn't lost it - then you nee... (read in full...)
Stuck in a sexless marriage!
Q. Help! Since my wife has given birth to our two children (both are under 3 years old) she has pretty much become completely uninterested in sex. Not just the act of sex but also flirting, playing, making herself look sexy, touching me, cuddling me, ...
A. 3 December 2009: and the thing is she is so focused on the children, she really has forgotten about you. can you get someone to help her sometimes with the children, so she has chance to be herself a bit? to be honest if you are looking after even 1 such young ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a sexless marriage!
Q. Help! Since my wife has given birth to our two children (both are under 3 years old) she has pretty much become completely uninterested in sex. Not just the act of sex but also flirting, playing, making herself look sexy, touching me, cuddling me, ...
A. 3 December 2009: That's a really sad one. I think your only way is to talk to her and tell her how you feel, and how soul-destroying it is. Everyone needs physical love. She has just got out of the habit of it. BUT, she can of course get back in it. She just needs ... (read in full...)
Help with teenagers required!
Q. I have two teenage boys. the oldest I had to rehome as he was insulting, ungrateful and depressed me. He now lives on his own but still tal;k and he comes round and stays and eats. his 15 year brother is developing similiar styles. I feel as ...
A. 3 December 2009: I think you have to let them go. They will never forget what you did to them - holidays, etc, simply won't make up for it. I'm afraid you are paying the price for having genuinely mistreated them - whatever a child does, deliberately injuring them ... (read in full...)
I stay unhappy to make him happy...
Q. I really need some help from someone, ive been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months so not very long and he loves me so much but i dont feel the same way, i really like him but im not attracted to him in any way so find it very hard to have a ...
A. 1 December 2009: Simple. I'm afraid you have to finish with the boy you don't fancy, because otherwise you risk losing the guy you do. And also because it isn't fair on the first one. Do it. He will live.
x... (read in full...)
I married in haste, and now he has changed for the worse
Q. Hi, I feel kind of weird writing this but I have no one else to talk to and I seriously don't know what else to do. I am 20 years old and just got married Oct. 9th at a courthouse to the guy I was in AIT training all summer with (for the army.) H...
A. 30 November 2009: I'm so sorry. He sounds like an impossible person to be with, and that SO isn't your fault - he wasn't like that before you got married. And how can it be your last chance? You have your whole life in front of you! Only start thinking about last ... (read in full...)
How often per week should a couple have sex?
Q. Ok since this has been a reoccuring theme on this site of late, I would like to settle once and for all, how often per week should a couple have sex. My theory is: 3 times combined with 3 times asking how her day was and back/foot rub. And one day...
A. 23 November 2009: Personally my ideal is at least once a day and more on some days. My preference would be for always on waking, sometimes on sleeping (if not too tired), and the odd lunchtime. Definitely twice on Sundays.
But that's just me. I know a lot of peopl... (read in full...)
He gives me a guilt trip every time I go out with friends...
Q. Does anyones husband make you feel guilty for spending time away from the kids and him? I have other married friends and their husbands really dont care what they do and they go out with friends and shopping etc.. Really If i go out i get the guilt ...
A. 22 November 2009: I'm sorry - his behaviour is not reasonable, and not fair, and the whole thing must be very wearing. Maybe you should do as you say and extract yourself so he can do his bit with the kids but stop controlling you.... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 21 November 2009: My goodness me - just such a cheek. You are quite right - they shouldn't really be anywhere near your baby. He abandoned you and the baby, and additionally was incredibly unkind and betrayed you, and she sounds a monster. First off, she has ... (read in full...)
He's 22. I'm 13. How do I tell him I love him?
Q. why did i ever have to fall in love with him? hes 22 and im just 13 its cuz his so cute so nice and is always there when i need help, so nice and polite. i dont know how 2 tell him i need him to know but im afraid he will hate me. what c...
A. 21 November 2009: I don't think you need to tell him, because I am sure he already knows that you have a crush on him. And you are only 13 - any self-respecting 22-year-old would never even consider having anything with such a young girl. I'm afraid you just have to ... (read in full...)
Oh my god!!! Could I possibly be pregnant???
Q. hey, i have a question. im currently on bc, and i got my period last weds. but yesterday, when i was sitting under the dryer at the hair salon, i started feeling really sick, and ended up throwin up. then i drank some water and threw that up too. ...
A. 19 November 2009: i guess so. do a test.... (read in full...)
What gave me this sudden, intense chill???
Q. In the middle of my last class I got this sudden intense feeling down below (which felt good) and it gave me a chill? Like a sudden very short chills. Although I did not do anything at all I was just talking to friend in the class (and when this ...
A. 19 November 2009: perhaps you had a spontaneous orgasm.... (read in full...)
Bedroom issues...
Q. I enjoy sex, the problem is my husband has a small penis that I can't feel. He's clumsy in bed and has never made me orgasm. I have tried talking to him about it and he gets angry and starts saying that I don't love him so I have faked more orgasms ...
A. 19 November 2009: oh dear.
i guess you do love him?
he is unconfident in bed, by the sounds of it, and no doubt because of worries about his small penis ... which are justified, as you can't feel it. how small is it? because even if quite small, if you are careful ... (read in full...)
Should we work at this for the sake of our daughter?
Q. I have been with my fiancé for eight years. And we just recently had a baby girl five and a half months ago. Things are rocky and are not the same it used to be. Were no longer happy. We rarely speak,have sex, or even show love with a kiss or a hug. ...
A. 18 November 2009: You have to work at it, of course. Babies do change life considerably, but it is possible to work back to what you had, just including the baby. You need to do something, though, and quick. And remember this is just the start of her little life - ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for thinking my boyfriend might be gay?
Q. hi i have been with my boyfriend for ten months now, but i have known him for a long time... we both love eachother, he tells me alot that he loves me, treats me so good. this is gonna sound a bit crazy but i keep thinking my boyfriend is gay or ...
A. 18 November 2009: I can't see any evidence in what you've said that would suggest he is gay at all.
Let's go through the points:
1. Turns you around to have sex from behind - this is a totally normal and popular position for straight men having sex - nothing ... (read in full...)
I am struggling with the end of our relationship. I need closure.
Q. I am struggling to cope with the end of a 9 year relationship, and need some advice on how to get through it all as my now ex-bf has cut all contact, leaving me with many unanswered questions and no closure at all. We were together 9 years, lived ...
A. 17 November 2009: you deserved a lot of things, including him not betraying you, but unfortunately he just can't provide you with that - not with fidelity, and not with answers. he doesn't have answers. i think he has just taken the cowardly way out, which is really ... (read in full...)
Was I pregnant and did I kill my baby?
Q. I drank with my brother earlier, and i may be pregnant i went to sleep and when i woke up i was bleeding but not really like my period . It was there but it stopped. Could i have killed my baby? Or could it have been implantation bleeding ? ...
A. 15 November 2009: Have you taken a pregnancy test? That is the thing to do, before you start getting upset about anything.
And as for drinking / bleeding ... babies are surprisingly tough, and very small at the start. Lots and lots of women have drunk in early pr... (read in full...)
I am having fantasies about my pregnant neighbor!
Q. i have a young couple as next door neighbours. my problem is that the wife is 5 months pregnant. and i have started having fantasies about her. ever since she got the baby bump. its almost like a pregnancy fetish. and i am not too happy about ...
A. 14 November 2009: I don't think you should consider it a fetish. A lot of people think that a woman is at her most beautiful and attractive when she is pregnant, and you're also constantly reminded of her sexuality by the sight of that tummy, that shows she is ... (read in full...)
I am having fantasies about my pregnant neighbor!
Q. i have a young couple as next door neighbours. my problem is that the wife is 5 months pregnant. and i have started having fantasies about her. ever since she got the baby bump. its almost like a pregnancy fetish. and i am not too happy about ...
A. 14 November 2009: I don't think you should consider it a fetish. A lot of people think that a woman is at her most beautiful and attractive when she is pregnant, and you're also constantly reminded of her sexuality by the sight of that tummy, that shows she is ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my gf what I'm thinking about the other woman?
Q. I had an "emotional" affair which didn't involve any sex but did involve me falling head-over-heals for the other woman. I'm well aware I'm a bastard for doing what I did, but I still need help. The other woman and I discussed things and decided ...
A. 11 November 2009: ps
it strikes me that what you really want is for someone to tell you whether it is ok to give in to your curiosity and go to this dinner, within all conscience.
i almost think it is. you may have made things bigger and more important in... (read in full...)
Should I tell my gf what I'm thinking about the other woman?
Q. I had an "emotional" affair which didn't involve any sex but did involve me falling head-over-heals for the other woman. I'm well aware I'm a bastard for doing what I did, but I still need help. The other woman and I discussed things and decided ...
A. 11 November 2009: Don't tell her about the other woman. No way. That will change her world forever. Don't do it.
As for what you do with yourself ... you have to decide really if you want to be with your gf or with the other woman. If you choose the other woman, y... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and am in love with my teacher!
Q. So i'm 14 years old, and there's this teacher at school, she is amazing, like really amazing and i really really like her, she acts so nice to me and like i think i might be in love with her. She acts strange though, telling me i'm beautiful...
A. 11 November 2009: What, just on the cheek, or differently? If anything more then you MUST have no more contact like this with her, and you should tell someone - your parents. This is not right - not appropriate. You don't see it clearly as you are v young and in an ... (read in full...)
He's the most amazing man I've ever met... but is the age difference just too much?
Q. I've been great friends with the most amazing guy for 9 months now, and just this past month, we acknowledged the mutual attraction and got past the age difference: he's 22 and I'm 53. I've been involved with a lot of younger men (my ex-husband was ...
A. 9 November 2009: ps
do remember though that 22 year olds tend to be naive and optimistic with very little life experience. i know that's refreshing, but you need to deal very responsibly with someone this young.... (read in full...)
He's the most amazing man I've ever met... but is the age difference just too much?
Q. I've been great friends with the most amazing guy for 9 months now, and just this past month, we acknowledged the mutual attraction and got past the age difference: he's 22 and I'm 53. I've been involved with a lot of younger men (my ex-husband was ...
A. 9 November 2009: I can't quite picture this. I guess you must be young for your age, which is good, and if he is happy with this, and you are, then that's all fine. His mum will have a difficult time, though. I guess she might want her son to have children. Do you ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and am in love with my teacher!
Q. So i'm 14 years old, and there's this teacher at school, she is amazing, like really amazing and i really really like her, she acts so nice to me and like i think i might be in love with her. She acts strange though, telling me i'm beautiful...
A. 9 November 2009: I agree with caring guy. Girls do sometimes develop crushes on other girls or women in their teens, but it is not anything to act on, and especially not with a teacher. Just enjoy her friendship and leave it at that. And as caring guy said, any kind ... (read in full...)
My period is two weeks late but I've never had sex
Q. Im 15 and started my periods 3 years ago. They have been regular and consistant until this past month where Im currently over two weeks late. Im definately not pregnant as I havent had sex so I know I shouldnt worry but its bothering me. Does anyone ...
A. 9 November 2009: Have you had any sexual contact whatsoever with a boy recently, even if he didn't penetrate you? ... (read in full...)
Tried a new position and it made me bleed. Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend and I made love last night, and we were a little more adventurous i.e. trying a couple of new positions, but nothing strenuous or 'weird'. Anyway, when we had finished and I went to the toilet and there was a little bit of blood - Is it ...
A. 9 November 2009: Yes, quite possible. I only had one boyfriend, and with him it hardly broke, but when I had another boyfriend, it broke more.
Also, there are certain positions where your cervix can be grazed, and it can bleed a tiny bit.
Just keep an ... (read in full...)
Would this be considerd rape...i don't want to think badly of him...
Q. Mah boyfriend and i had been together for 5 months...we had had sex before but one night we were washing his car in his barn and there is a couch in his barn. Well sprayed him with the hose (juss being goofy) and then ran to couch. he followed too ...
A. 9 November 2009: pps
but remember: you didn't feel like you were raped. you felt like he over stepped the mark, he said sorry, it wasn't a big deal. you were annoyed rather than hurt. this is very very important. how you felt determines what it was, really. just... (read in full...)
Would this be considerd rape...i don't want to think badly of him...
Q. Mah boyfriend and i had been together for 5 months...we had had sex before but one night we were washing his car in his barn and there is a couch in his barn. Well sprayed him with the hose (juss being goofy) and then ran to couch. he followed too ...
A. 9 November 2009: ps
Having said that, it all hinges on how long he kept on going after it was clear you didn't want it. If it was a couple of times then he reluctantly pulled out, ok. If it was several minutes and you were all the time upset, not ok.... (read in full...)
Would this be considerd rape...i don't want to think badly of him...
Q. Mah boyfriend and i had been together for 5 months...we had had sex before but one night we were washing his car in his barn and there is a couch in his barn. Well sprayed him with the hose (juss being goofy) and then ran to couch. he followed too ...
A. 9 November 2009: No, I don't think it was rape at all. Well, I wouldn't consider it so. I think it was this:
You are both very young. He has a very strong sex drive. He doesn't quite know where the boundaries are yet. You were both horsing around in the barn. Hi... (read in full...)
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