A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok -- this is going to take a second so I will do a TL;DR. first, this is a throwaway account b/c... so, here's the deal: tonight I totally freaked out my boyfriend. I had hidden a piece of a hot dog (about 2 inches) which I had broken off before getting in bed. without him knowing it I grabbed it from where I hid it and inserted it in myself and we were kissing and I sort of encouraged him to go down on me so he was kissing his way down and then kissing my legs and then he went in and I kind of held his head and at first I think he was confused but then all of a sudden he like FLEW out of the bed and he was shrieking like I had never heard before and he fell backwards over some stuff and broke a lamp which scared both of us and I was laughing really hard at first until I realized he was still shrieking.anyhow, I tried to tell him it was a joke but he was shaking and he packed his backpack and left (we've been living together for about three months). I'm not sure where he went or if he'll be back tonight (he took an extra pair or underpants) and he won't answer his cell or respond to my texts and I'm not sure what to do. I'm embarrassed to tell my friends so I hoped you guys could give me some advice (please!).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): Lol if someone can't imagine sex & comedy mixing, I feel sorry for them. You should be able to laugh in bed w/ur partner. I think u just learned more about him than he thinks he did about you. He "shrieked" lol "packed his bagpack and left" ???? Really? Gees what a baby. Since you'd beel living together at this point, that reaction about anything is more worrysome than any lil joke u may pull. If he was freaked out, the thing is, can he come back, sit down and say WTF?? lol If not, you should ask yourself if you want to be with someone who can react like they don't know you at all. If you did that, I'm sure its not the first silly thing you have done.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): I think this is funny, and even if taken the wrong way does not warrant a storm out. If it really upset him he should have talked to you about it. I don't get the people who say that you will have a lot of apologizing to do. If it was funny to you, it's just your sense of humor. And yeah, if offended him you should say I'm sorry, but not have to beg him for forgiveness. However me and my bf joke around ALL the time so a little of an off beat humor doesn't really bother me personally.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): I think this is funny, and even if taken the wrong way does not warrant a storm out. If it really upset him he should have talked to you about it. I don't get the people who say that you will have a lot of apologizing to do. If it was funny to you, it's just your sense of humor. And yeah, if offended him you should say I'm sorry, but not have to beg him for forgiveness. However me and my bf joke around ALL the time so a little of an off beat humor doesn't really bother me personally.
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female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (1 September 2010):
 I think this is incredibly gross not to mention immature.
Unless you two have a one upsmanship relaitonship and you are always trying to best each other in the gross out factor, I just don't get this.
I guess if he is in love with you he would find anything you do just precious, but I am not in love with you, and for me this would be a good bye deal breaker....not funny, just super WEIRD.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Pretty funny, I hope he can see the humor once he gets over the shock and his obvious terror. No beenie weenies on the menu for awhile, okay?!
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I can see hot dog sales going through the roof right now... ladies this is supposed to be a lesson on when not to tell a joke, not an example that you should run out and try to copy.
Hell babes, sorry about everything. But it is funny, and if he hasn't seen that by now, your with the wrong person. Because the correct response was for him to try bite your weiner off...
Your a ray of sunshine, if he can't deal with it, then I promise you it's his loss.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I am truly laughing so hard that I'm nearly crying at the story and all the responses, but if I were your man, I'd be irritated as all hell with you.
So many are leaning toward the idea that you shouldn't have done it. I wonder though, do you and your man have a comedic relationship? if yes, then it's not so odd. Maybe you "owed him one" as they say for something he did to you? If not and this was totally out of the blue, yes, he's pissed and has every right to be.
YOu're going to have a lot of apologizing and explaining to do. Good luck with that. If it doesn't work out, next time find a man with a huge sense of humor.
If he didn't already have a hot dog phobia, he probably does now. LMAO
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I am truly laughing so hard that I'm nearly crying at the story and all the responses, but if I were your man, I'd be irritated as all hell with you.
So many are leaning toward the idea that you shouldn't have done it. I wonder though, do you and your man have a comedic relationship? if yes, then it's not so odd. Maybe you "owed him one" as they say for something he did to you? If not and this was totally out of the blue, yes, he's pissed and has every right to be.
YOu're going to have a lot of apologizing and explaining to do. Good luck with that. If it doesn't work out, next time find a man with a huge sense of humor.
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (30 August 2010):
 i don't even reallly get. it. people seem to be saying that he might have thought you have a dick (?!) - but surely not a 2 inch one, and smoked at that??!!
I think it probably just grossed him out more than anything, and was a horrible, and weird, surprise. What a strange thing for you to do. Why did you do it? Sorry but he probably thinks you are a really bizarre person now ...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I think it could be funny....but I'm not sure about mixing sex and comedy. I can't really think of anything that would be more of a turn-off, actually. It's not sexy.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Hahahahaha! That's hilarious! Well, the joke, not the reception. Give him a little time and try explaining the joke. Then apologize and hopefully move on. If he can't get over this, then maybe it wasn't meant to be.
He might just be really embarrassed by his overreaction.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (30 August 2010):
I think that's damn funny.. lol
But men are funny about such things, and I don't think he saw the joke. He will come back, but maybe your joke freaked him out too much to stay.
Humour is a strange thing, what makes me laugh might make you cry.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Um... one of the worst things that can happen to a straight man in bed with his girlfriend is to find out she's a tranny. In the dark, in the heat of the moment, with most of the blood not in his brain, he finds a little phallic thing in between his griflriend's legs... yeah, that thought flashed through his head. You tapped into a primal, abiding fear of his for a joke. I'm honestly surprised he didn't knock some of your teeth out before he calmed down.
Doesn't make you a bad person, you understand, we've all made jokes in bad taste. And it would not have been right to hit you, I'm glad he didn't. But wow.
He might get over it eventually, but you'll have to apologize profusely, and be extra caring in bed for a while.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): That is some weird joke. I don't think I'd find it funny either, I would be trying to work out what on earth made you think this is actually amusing. I guess he'll have to come back at some point if you live together, but I have no idea whether he will want to have sex with you again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I'm sorry, but that is hilarious and I think an effective joke in some sense. He's probably more embarrassed by the way he reacted than the joke itself. When he cools down about it, I think he'll probably get a good laugh at it himself. (I say that because I had an embarrassing moment once and I was mortified!!!! AND, it's on video!!! Once I got over the initial embarrassment and even to this day, I can't think of the incident nor watch the video without laughing into stitches.)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Hmmm, I'm not sure if it's funny or not; I think it's funny to laugh at if you're not involved in the situation. I think if I was in your boyfriend's position I don't think I'd find it funny but a bit weird actually, and I would question your sense of humour big-time. It's like a school-boy prank, except it's in the context of a sex session. I think it is just plain odd. I also think that using meat products is not very sensible for the obvious hygiene/bacteria risks. But maybe that's just me. I think your bf might well be very wary from now on if he comes back. I think he will; I don't really know why he was so freaked out, if it was me I think I would just think you were pretty odd and I would want to re-evaluate things, but that can be done calmly. He probably just needs some time on his own to think about what's happened. Just leave him to it until he comes round or gets in touch.
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female
reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 :S,
well I think he over reacted.
.... I think it is a pretty funny joke most guys I know like fantasize but that kind of shit. Like .... idk... what his problem is :/ but soryy I i just think his reaction is pretty stupid.
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female
reader, isthisit?! +, writes (30 August 2010):
oh my god, that is hilarious! I was literally laughing out loud:) Well I think men might be more freaked out about vaginas than us ladies are... he probably thought it was an ovary that had wiggled lose or something!
Best of luck with this one, if he doesn't get over than you probably deserve someone with your silly sense of humor anyways.. good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Why would you do that? Its weird, and honestly not funny. Well, maybe a little bit but not to the man in the story. Um, just tell him ur sorry and won't play those jokes again unless he's comfortable with it. Why would you hold his head there...I think you might have freaked him out for good. I would be...
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (30 August 2010):
 You misjudged his sense of humour, big time. He may never get over it, tbh.
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female
reader, sammi star +, writes (30 August 2010):
 well it's a strange one! It was just a joke so I don't see why he's so freaked out unless he has some kind of phobia about hot dogs...! anyway, let him cool off and when he comes round (which he will) ask him what it was that freaked him so much.
My bet is he's feeling pretty embarassed right now by his reaction!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Um I'm thinking I'm never going to be able to eat hot dogs again. That is a pretty funny joke, and I'm wondering why he freaked out like that..maybe he was freaked out that you had a food fetish or he can't take a joke. Well, he packed a backpack so he will be back soon. Give him about 3-4 days to cool off and text you. You already explained it was a joke and apologized now the ball is in his court.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): lol that is so mean! and a turn off. He be back but say sorry!!
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