A
male
age
41-50,
*ingledad7
writes:I was what is called a player in my early 20's. Now I am 36 and a single Father to my amazing 5 yr old boy. I haven't dated since his mom left 5 years ago. I tried a couple of times but it seems like games. Most women are not interested once they find out I have full custody of my child. This is something I just don't understand. I am reasonably attractive and in great shape. I'm not an idiot and have a good job. I am very happy with my life and who I am. However, it's human nature to desire the intamate, romantic aspect of life. I've always heard that it comes when you stop looking. Well I stopped looking years ago.So I guess my question is.... where are all the real women?
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male
reader, singledad7 +, writes (12 August 2010):
singledad7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have told all the women I know that I only want to be friends and now they won't leave me alone. I get texts form people I've never heard of telling me they want to go out, they think I'm cute, ect.... What the hell. It's like taking a toy, that a child doesn't play with, away from them. They haven't touched it in years but now that it's unavailable the want it more than anything. These are grown women. And everyone says that men are immature. I don’t think I will ever understand the psychology of women. Too bad I’m not attracted to men. At least they are straight forward.
A
male
reader, singledad7 +, writes (6 August 2010):
singledad7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do thank everyone for thier help. I only question this matter because deep down, I am a hopeless romantic.
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A
male
reader, singledad7 +, writes (5 August 2010):
singledad7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI went to the website mentioned and there is nothing in my area. That is ok. I am grateful for all that life has given me and will be content to keep the status quo. However I do miss romance.
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A
female
reader, GettingInYourBizness +, writes (5 August 2010):
 The reason I brought up age, is because someone 20's no kids, is probably not going to want to be with someone with kids, as they're in different stages in life, whatever.
A chick in 30's no kids, might not have kids by choice or truly someone that wants a family, etc like the 29 year old poster.
There are lots of single mom's out there who is looking for a guy like you.
You said you write music, etc - you must live in a big city.
Go to to www.meetup.com type in "single parents" and your location. I tried Houston, NY, Los Angeles, LOTS of results.
It's just a free website with groups that people join and they often hold "meet-ups" for activities. The groups that came up on my search term, basically was to connect single parents like you with other single parents.
I know family that is single for years, because they expect things to just happen..one day magically, unfortunately, at some point you have to make it a priority, just like if there is anything else in life you want.
Check out that site and your city and let us know what's comes up.
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A
male
reader, singledad7 +, writes (5 August 2010):
singledad7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was asked what kind of woman I see. I rarely "see" anyone. Being a single father, having a carrer also writing songs with musicians (done in private), writing my first screen play, studing Aikido with my son, and being there for him, I don't meet too many people outside of those I already know. When we go to the parks it seems grandparents and married couples are the only ones there. Age is not important, but maturity is.
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A
female
reader, canttoleratebs +, writes (4 August 2010):
I love the fact that your a single proud father holding things down, that's what being a real man is all about. Sometimes people are afraid of things they dont understand, like why does this guy have custody of his son, and others just arent looking for anything serious. Your asking where are all the real women the problem may be that the woman that your attracted too may not have what it takes to be considered real. And the woman that you have no attraction too may be the ones that would offer you the world.
So, if you keep getting the same results then, the problem may be with you. Dont be afraid of change, it could be for the best. Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): First off, I commend you for being a single father, that's not often.
If a woman sees that you have full custody of your son and turns away, then that shows you that she isn't mature enough nor privileged enough to be a "real woman" to you or your son. No offense, but at your age a woman would be silly to think that she will find a 36 year old man with no children. Believe me, I'm 29, and I don't expect to for my age.
More than likely you will probably need to seek a woman that more in common with you such as the child and divorce, you know people that know where you're coming from.
It really is a lot to deal with when someone has a child so I understand that aspect of it too. I dated and eventually married my EX husband who had custody of his four children and I accepted them as mine and when we parted it broke my heart. A lot of women don't want to deal with being a "step-mother" and becoming too attached.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 I don't know.
Personally, your history/situation sounds appealing to me - certainly wouldn't put me off! Tick list for me is:
- strong, decent person who has worked out what is important in life
- by a certain point in life, good job/secure finances/reasonable standard of living/something to show for himself
- absolutely must love and put first his children
- believes it is possible to have a romantic life AND be a father at the same time, and for there to be harmony between those roles (in the perfect world)
I seem to be considered fairly desirable in general by men, so guess my opinion is worth something. So there you go: one real woman exists ; )
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A
female
reader, GettingInYourBizness +, writes (3 August 2010):
Poster,
Curiously, what kind of women are you seeing..
Are they 20's-30's women without children of their own?
Or single mothers themselves, let us know.
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