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Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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I'm scared of sex and getting married soon!
Q. Okay so I am 18 and I'm getting married soon. The problem is that I'm a virgin and I am scared to have sex. I have always thought of sex to be disgusting and I even tried to get over it by watching anime porn but I couldn't bring myself to do so. ...
A. 30 June 2010: You are getting married and haven't fooled around yet?
Why exactly are you getting married?
Where do you draw the line? Is kissing disgusting? Holding hands?
touching?
Sounds like either you are not in love, have had some bad experien... (read in full...)
My husband chooses porn over sex!
Q. i am 24 years old and i've been with my husband for nearly 3 years. when we met i knew he liked porn, but it wasnt a problem for me at that time because we were having sex. but soon i became pregnant and the sex stopped. Even long after having my ...
A. 30 June 2010: Sounds like the egg-lover found out where eggs come from.
Or what caviar really is.
He got spooked by the baby and doesn't want to stick his dick where his son/daughter came from.
If you want to save this relationship (and it mig... (read in full...)
Can someone on meth really love anyone?
Q. Does a person on meth feel bad for things they have done wrong? If on meth do you black out and for get things you do or later remember and regret? If doing Meth and hurt your loved ones does the drug make you not care? Educate me please and tell...
A. 17 June 2010: No.
To be a bit more nuanced. It depends on how you define love. Is it just a feeling of affection? Loss?
Or are you talking about the love that exists between partners? The love to take care of someone. To shelter and protect them? To be ther... (read in full...)
He wants to keep his female 'friend' in case we break up
Q. bf cheated on me with some online friends by cybering we are 18 and know each other in RL. At the time we were going through some fights and i have been mean to him in alot of ways the past months(i wasn't always like this)and pushed him over the...
A. 16 June 2010: I get the feeling both of you are in this "relationship" for the wrong reasons.
Usually people are together because they want to. You two seem to be together because... well I don't know really. perhaps because you are afraid to be alone? Afraid t... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to meet this man?
Q. I feel like a bit of an idiot saying this out loud but please someone help me. I've been with my partner for 4 years. We recently migrated with his job. He works away all the time and I am struggling to get work. So i am alone, no work or frien...
A. 16 June 2010: "I am so lonely...but not lonely enough to jump into bed with someone."
Riiiiight.
Lonely can be solved without talking to a "guy". You could talk to women, children and the elderly. No, you solve your "loneliness" by talking with a sexually ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has jealousy issues!
Q. I've been dating this guy for 8 months now, and I love him to death. There is just this one thing that drives me nuts about him... his jealousy issues. I really don't know what to do. He gets jealous at every little thing I do. He accuses me of ...
A. 16 June 2010: Jealousy or trying to control?
This type of behaviour often leads to the victim isolating themselves and so becoming totally controlled and dependant.
His jealousy will never go away because it is not based on reality but on his insecurity. ... (read in full...)
Is she lying about her "size" preferences?
Q. OK, I'm having a major issue with something that I know is terribly immature, but I can't help it. I am dealing with the "her ex is bigger" syndrome (his 9 to my 6), and I am OK with myself and my abilities, but I can't understand the mixed signals ...
A. 16 June 2010: There are white lies that we tell each other and that should not be examined to closely.
Is size an issue? Yes, it is. Is it a big issue in your case? I don't know and perhaps it is best if you don't know either.
A man is more then just his co... (read in full...)
Could this be bad for our marriage?
Q. I am a 59 year old woman married for 28 years. When my husband developed health issues that affected his ability to get an erection I thought my sex life was over. He tried Viagra and and some other stuff and when nothing worked he started telling ...
A. 16 June 2010: If it isn't bad for your marriage I would be REALLY worried. What does it tell of the relation between the two of you that this is NOT an issue?
Why are you both together if you don't care about who you have sex with and he doesn't care who you ... (read in full...)
Why don't I attract the right type of females?
Q. I seem to have run across a few questions. I need some female opinions on these... Not to boast about myself (I am quiet humble actually) but I am always refer d to as a "nice guy". I put the feelings and well being of anyone in front of me an...
A. 10 June 2010: Because you secretly ain't attracted to the right type at all?
Opposites attract. Nice guy, nice girl == dull as hell. ... (read in full...)
G/f put GPS tracking on my phone and I found out about it
Q. I have been in a relationship with the the same girl for the past 6 years and living with her for the past 3. Recently I have noticed a significant change in her, she has become very confrontational about things, acting very jealous in regards to ...
A. 10 June 2010: Why?
Has there been a reason why she changed?
One reason people suspect their partner of cheating is because they cheated themselves. You trust others by your own nature after all.
I don't know if she has, but it would explain a radical ... (read in full...)
How do you have a successfull FWB?
Q. Question: How do you have a successfull FWB? How am I supposed to act in this type of relationship? I think I want to do this because I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now because of my kids. So, the question is, am I supposed to ...
A. 9 June 2010: Oh it is easy, you get the girl to think that having sex with absolutely zero commitment is a good thing because you are such good friends and like her so much but not enough to commit. She will do anything because the woman hasn't been born that ... (read in full...)
Why wont my husband accept I just don't enjoy anal?
Q. My husband is obsessed with anal sex. We've had it twice. He refused to use any lubricant and it hurt very badly. I told him that I'm not interested in doing it again. I only did it with him because I felt pressured. His female boss is ...
A. 9 June 2010: Well, the answer you probably don't want to hear is that you married an asshole. Refuses to come unless he sticks his finger up your ass? Some people like anal play, some don't but fingering on the whole is for the recipient. Why do it if you don't ... (read in full...)
Dating "out of your league"?
Q. I'm wondering what people think of the idea of someone being out of your league and whether you think being in different leagues can cause problems in a relationship. You see, I normally end up dating hollywood-looking guys, not because I'm very ...
A. 9 June 2010: Are you talking about this song?
If You Wanna Be Happy
Jimmy Soul
May, 1963 LeGrand-S.P.Q.R Records
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl ... (read in full...)
How do I know whether to believe my fiance?? I found 100's of porn and dating sites, but he blames a virus!
Q. Well basicly last night i accidently stumbled across porn that had been viewed on the computer...I had to know where it had come from so i looked and it was from my fiances acount...hoping i'd made a mistake i checked again and to my horror found ...
A. 9 June 2010: There is indeed malware that does redirect or open certain sites to generate traffic to them.
There is one gotcha with this, you get these virusses by going to disreputable sites. Like crappy porn sites.
100's? That seems unlikely for a... (read in full...)
I tell my husband 'size doesn't matter' but everytime after sex, he asks me if he is too small...
Q. Whenever I make love to my husband, he is asking me the same old question "Am I too small?" I enjoy making out with him and I often tell him that it's not the size that matters, it's the passion inside me that counts. Is my husband ashamed of his ...
A. 9 June 2010: Men worry about penis size, women about breast size.
If people can't get past these types of insecurities it can become controlling to the point they no longer believe they are adequate.
If there was a solution this, there would be no brea... (read in full...)
Is this an indication he is thinking long-term?
Q. The guy I've been dating for the last 2 months has started asking me about what I'd like to be doing a few years from now... would you take that as an indication that he could be thinking about the idea of us being together long term?...
A. 8 June 2010: No. I think it is an indication you are reading WAY to much into a single question.
He MIGHT be thinking long term and he might not. ONE question is NOT going to answer that.
About the only single question that would answer it is: "Do you want... (read in full...)
Why do I get crushes?
Q. why does this always happen? I have noticed that whenever I get to the comfy stage in a relationship (i.e. after a few months when I know that they love me) I start getting crushes on other people. Well, not exactly crushes, more like I wil...
A. 8 June 2010: Well, how nasty do you want me to get?
At its most basic, you want to know you have a high value on the meat market. You might not actually want to be bought, unless the price is right, but is nice to know you are valued. We can all do with a c... (read in full...)
Is masturbating bad for me?
Q. I masturbate alot.. but i'm only 15. I masturbate about 4 times a week, and just can't stop because I love it! But is it bad for me? Is it going to cause any problems?...
A. 8 June 2010: yes it is. Good girls build up their sexual frustration until it explodes and they have sex with some random guy, get pregnant and have abortions with a coat hanger like the pope wants you to.
Unless it starts to control your life it is a lot safe... (read in full...)
Why is it that when men don't get their way they always go off in a mood?
Q. Is it just me or when men don't get something to do with sex they go in a mood and blame their partner. My boyfriends likes bum fun, we tried it but it really hurt me. but he doesn't seem too realise that cause of the pain i dont want it. and he ...
A. 8 June 2010: Why is that women even bother to be with these kind of guys?
Your question has a very simple answer:
because you let him get away with it.... (read in full...)
He wants me to give up my only "me" time or its a divorce!
Q. I have been with my husband for 13 years (married 8 years) and at first was very happy. He is a good man, with good values, but lets me do everything around the house and with the children while he pursues his rugby and associated social events. I...
A. 8 June 2010: What good values?
It never bodes well if a woman starts saying that her guy is the greatest. You just know there is a HUGE but coming. Often one that completly contradicts everything she said about him before.
Anyway. Bad getting in debt ... (read in full...)
Not desperate for sex just want to know what the hell I'm doing wrong - am I missing something?
Q. Hi, I've been in a relationship now for almost two and a half years. Its a long distance relationship in that my boyfriend lives four hours away and so we meet on weekends or at worst every second weekend. Okay my problem is that there is no sex i...
A. 8 June 2010: You wear lingerie, you kiss him, you tickle him, you massage him, you give him handjobs...
What does he do?
Unless you are skipping something it does seem he makes absolutely no attempt at any intimacy.
You say you are not desperate for se... (read in full...)
He looked at porn right after we made love - whats wrong with me?
Q. I recently posted on here as i'd accidently discovered my fiance had been looking at porn on the computer..only one site had come up so i tried not to let it bother me as you all said and put it down to a one off. But earlier curiosity got the ...
A. 8 June 2010: I would sooner ask what is wrong with him.
If you weren't attractive I could understand him needing to look at porn before the act, but why after? I would almost say that he does it just out of a sort of habit. Maybe visit a site to see what's n... (read in full...)
Can you tell if you have a low or high sex drive if your still a virgen?
Q. Hi, Can you tell if you have a low or high sex drive if your still a virgen? I like to masterbait alot thoe i would do it every night if i had time lol does that mean any thing? Also is it true if you use a toy or finger yourself you wont be tight ...
A. 6 June 2010: Sex drive is a rather abstract idea. How would you rate a person who has had sex with only one person, but several times day, every day? Compare this to a person who has a one-night stand every weekend.
The first: 1 person = 1000 sessions... (read in full...)
The friend ultimatum: she either leaves her abusive boyfriend or I cut her out of my life!
Q. This might get kind of long, so sorry in advance, but I don't know where else to turn. My best friend is dating a guy that all of her friends absolutely HATE. I know that sounds harsh, but she is unhappy 95% of the time. He's controlling and will ...
A. 6 June 2010: Yeah, cut her out.
People in bad situations they keep themselves in, abusive relationships, addicts, are often said to need to hit rock bottom before they can scrape themselves together.
But rock bottom is just that. It means no more friends,... (read in full...)
He wants meaningless sex with other women but to keep our relationship
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with other women. we have been together over 2 years, and i know he loves me. We have a great relationship. We are both open and honest and loving towards each other. Yet he honestly spoke with me about how he wants ...
A. 6 June 2010: Charming guy, a real find. You are lucky nobody else picked up this guy who wants to fuck other women (somehow I doubt he will agree that you fuck other men), hates kids but wants to knock you up.
Sometimes when you find a guy that no other gi... (read in full...)
Why do most men like big boobs so much?
Q. Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis ...
A. 6 June 2010: Ah, you mention penis size. You don't have a preference. Eheh. Well that is not what popular media tells us. Guys need a big dick. The bigger the better and a lot haven't.
Penis enlargement exists but you can hardly go to an 8 incher with tha... (read in full...)
Do you think..I might be a lesbian?
Q. im pretty positive that im lesbian. ive always been the one to dress like a boy and as my mom puts it walk like a boy. i never really new what a gay person was until sixth grade. for some reason in sixth grade rumors were going around saying i was ...
A. 6 June 2010: No, you are just a girl. Lesbians do not think of the penis as gross, they just ain't intrested. It is the same as that hetero women don't think of breasts as gross.
You seem to be still at that period in life where boys are icky. They are, it ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not being honest about sleeping with a guy, when we had broken up?
Q. Dear Cupids. I have a complicated problem. I met a wonderful guy four years ago, when I started university. We proceeded to have a great relationship, if somewhat immature.(considering that we were 17 and 20 when we met. ) Last year, absolute c...
A. 6 June 2010: Then why did you send the emails if he meant nothing to you?
You also claim to have been deeply in love with him all this time yet slept with others. That doesn't fit. Really, your email does NOT belong to a woman deeply in love with another ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me?
Q. Im 18 and i have a baby girl....guys tell my im sexy all the time im always faithful in my relationships but its like no matter what i always get cheated on why is that?...
A. 6 June 2010: Bad choice in men. The question is not why do guys cheat on you, but why do you date guys who are cheaters. Unless of course you want to believe that somehow you make them into cheaters.
A common enough thought but a very dangerous one. You don'... (read in full...)
Night Violence... Should I see a psychiatrist?
Q. Hi I'm writing in about a mental problem so it might not be posted as it's really the wrong place to enter such a problem but I'll give it a shot. The night before last, 2 good friends of mine and myself were all saying in a tent together. W...
A. 2 June 2010: Gosh, a crisis induced by the over consumption of energy drinks. How unexpected.
Why not swallow a bottle of aspirin and wonder why you are shitting blood?
You were drugged. Don't do it again. ... (read in full...)
Which of the two do men remember more - their first love or their first sexual encounter?
Q. Which one of the two do men remember more? Their first love or the person they had sex for the first time? ...
A. 2 June 2010: Both. So far. Contrary to popular opinion, men can think of more then one thing.... (read in full...)
Could the problem be that he's gay?
Q. I saw a guy recently and first time in the bedroom he refused to have penetrative sex or oral sex.Up until then lots of cuddles kisses.Could he be gay?He wanted oral from me all the time.He is from Syria but 44 and travelling around Europe for20 ...
A. 31 May 2010: Or could be simply be a very selfish guy?
Considering the huge age difference, move on.... (read in full...)
Why are his ex-girlfriend's contacting me?
Q. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago due to abuse. I was contacted by his ex gf 2 years ago and now contacted my another ex gf about his abuse. Why would ex's contact me? I just dont understand Im out of the picture!!!...
A. 31 May 2010: Because women ain't smart.
If they were smart they would contact you when they were his pre-girlfriend.
This is like reading customer reviews after the product blew up in your face.
On a slightly less "all women are stupid" note: they are j... (read in full...)
I'm completely ready to give up my whole life for my online crush of 5years. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I'm convinced that I'm completely in love with someone I've never met. We've spoken to each other online for 5 years, the first time we spoke then and got to know each other we'd said we liked each other but then disregarded ...
A. 31 May 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/our-different-cultures-are-becoming-a-problem-what.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-take-a-beating-from-him-because-i.html
Read up on what happens to women with your mindset of doing ANYTHING for him... (read in full...)
Sexless husband at his limit..
Q. My wife and I do not have a sex life. In the past 3 years we have made love once. We don't flirt, no passionate kissing or anything. Pretty much she is like my sister. She is a decent mother and a good friend but the spark is gone. She has g...
A. 31 May 2010: So, you had sex with your sister? Ewh.
Do you happen to treat her like a sister as well? Is the spark gone from your end as well? I ask because since she is a mother for your kids and feeds and clothes you, shouldn't the family member you ment... (read in full...)
Don't you consider this a cruel game?
Q. My friend was at the mall with her family and her dad started a game where they had to "find chubby people." I said that this was a mean and cruel game. She said that it wasn't and it was just a game- just something to do. But still- isn't this mean ...
A. 31 May 2010: Find chubby people? In America? How challenging can that be? Is that like pointing out tall people in Holland? Black people in Africa?
Or is this a case of "oh wow, look how skinny that chubby person is compared to all the whales?"
Cruel? ... (read in full...)
What can I do to ensure my baby is safe while with his father?
Q. I have a three year old boy. His father and I have been apart since he was 4 months old. His father got weekend, overnight visitation about 6 months ago, because he finally completed the 20 hours of supervised visitation. Since then he gets Elijah ...
A. 31 May 2010: Well, you tried and found out the nasty truth. Law is not about preventing wrongs but about punishing the wrong do'er afterwards.
And this women is why it is so fucking important to be on birth control. Because being a single mother is NOT abou... (read in full...)
Is being with 6 men sexually by the age of 30 a lot?
Q. okay so this is a very random curious question. I'm turning 30 and have been with 6 men sexually. Is this a lot for a woman of my age to have been with that many men? Sometimes i wonder and feel bad about my sexual experiences. ...
A. 31 May 2010: Don't know, is it?
This is about personal choices. YOU were with 6 men and feel bad about it. But it was your choice.
What some women like YouWish don't get is that men can lie about stuff. (Oops, sorry shouldn't have said that, now women ... (read in full...)
Our different cultures are becoming a problem, what should I do?
Q. Hi, please give me some advice. Iv been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and we live together. I'm 22 he's 30. So I'm British and he's from a Muslim country, he's not religious however but he is set in the culture from there. So we've ha...
A. 31 May 2010: Shrug, you been told haven't you? Go find another man who is willing to take a muslim reject because this guy now wants a nice virgin muslim girl and not the slutty white girl who lived in sin with a man.
Nice way to confirm every prejudic... (read in full...)
I take a beating from him because I love him, but I cant cope anymore with his accusations
Q. I've been with my bf for a year and half..I saw him working one day and decided to talk to him and we exchanged numbers..in the beginning this were great.. 2 months into it he heard stuff from people that was not true..and started calling me a hoe ...
A. 31 May 2010: You can deal with the beatings but no the accusations?
I think you take the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones (but words will never hurt me)." a bit to literal.
Then again you also got a weird concept of love. Somehow you thin... (read in full...)
I have given him an ultimatum to get married, but I don't want to lose him! What should I do?
Q. im in a relationship with a guy for one year.he says he like me and can also marry me but doesnt love me and not give commitment now.we both are 27.my parents are worried because i should get married now.i gave him 3 more months to tell me whether ...
A. 31 May 2010: Reminds me of a joke on bash.org:
Xizer Winzip is such a girl...
Xizer "Uh hey. 30 days are up could you stop using me? No? Well I'll just ask again tomorrow..."
Look up ultimatum. ... (read in full...)
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