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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Is this age gap we have really that much out of line?
Q. Im a 40 year old divorced mother of 2. Recently I have begun dating a very nice guy who just turned 32. We seem to have a real connection to each other and have alot of fun, our sex life is great. The only problem is alot of my friends seem to ...
A. 10 June 2011: Age gaps are in my personal opinion not about the size of the age gap but the size of that gap of where people are in there lives.
If he was 14 and you where 20, the age gap would be smaller but I would still punch your lights out.
At 32 h... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but says he loves me, should I believe his words?
Q. I have been with a guy for 6 months now. When we met, it was supposed to be a one time sex thing. But we fell in love. I knew he had a girlfriend, she is 20 yrs younger than him. We recently had a talk about "us" and he begged me to stay with him ...
A. 8 June 2011: Does she believe his words? ... (read in full...)
Husband of 15 years has just left me!
Q. Hi guys, I have just been left by my husband of 15 years and I have 3 kids with him. I am not coping very well, how am I going to get over him? Please, help me somebody! ...
A. 8 June 2011: First the practical things, bank accounts and such. Breakups are never nice.
Then the lawyer.
Heartbreak later. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to read these books even though I'm technically more pure then most girls my age?
Q. Hello! I'm going to get straight to the point and not beat around the bush. I'm a 18 year old virgin and I love to read romance novels. Not just the nice sappy ones, I like to read the sexy intense one with wild sex in them. I love historic novels ...
A. 8 June 2011: A dirty mind is a joy forever.
The worst you can get from reading a dirty book is a paper cut. Actual dirty sex? There is a whole annex in the hospital dedicated to what you can get from that. The maternity ward.... (read in full...)
Fiance picking porn over me. Why is this?
Q. So my finace hasent had sex with me in 4 months. I catch him allthe time watching porn getting off but he wont sleep with me. He saids hes just not in the mood,before wr had sex a few times a day. Then I had a baby and in went to once a week now ...
A. 7 June 2011: This sounds like a classic.
It is wrong to fuck mommy.
Your a mommy now.
Something came out of you in a scene that makes Alien look like a disney flick.
Lot of men have trouble dealing with it. Think of it as eating an egg, when you ha... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has no interest in playing video games together?
Q. My boyfriend lives a few hours away, so our communication is entirely online. He loves playing video games, and they take up a large part of his time. I've never thought much about it until the last six months or so, when I realized it was ...
A. 7 June 2011: There might be a very simple reason.
He doesn't want to play with you. Why? Because he does not want to play with YOU.
That could be a major clue as to how he feels about you or not.
Does he MAKE time to spend with you on other activities?... (read in full...)
Why does he prefer to masterbate instead of have sex with me?
Q. Can anyone tell me why a man would rather masturbate than be with a woman? I'm attractive, I'm maybe 10 pounds over weight which I don't think is a big deal...I go up and down 10 to 15 pounds every year, in summer the weight comes off. It's not as ...
A. 6 June 2011: Could be all sorts of reasons but the most simple part might be that jacking off is not the same as sex. Like fast food versus a cooked meal, when we eat a burger we don't choose it over a cooked meal, we just are in the mood for a burger.
And l... (read in full...)
To all the men, is that fact that I don't have or don't want any children off putting?
Q. To the men out there, please be brutally honest: If you were single and looking, and met a woman who was in her mid 30s and had no children and claimed to not want any, would you think she was a loser/mentally ill? I ask because I have zero desire...
A. 6 June 2011: No but where is the need?
A woman who wants kids, that is easy. There is even a song about, all it takes is a single night or less. Lots of men willing to help a woman get pregnant and never be seen again.
The other way around, if a man wants a... (read in full...)
Do porn stars really enjoy very hard core porn?
Q. I recently saw a porn that was very hardcore in my eyes, and was wondering if the women that star in the movies actually enjoy themselves. There was 5 men and one woman and they each did her anally, directly followed by orally till they cummed in ...
A. 24 May 2011: Some do, some don't.
There really is no accounting for tastes in sex. Whatever you think is the best, someone else hates and what ever you hate, someone else loves.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's adhd is causing problems in our relationship!
Q. my boyfriend had adhd as a child and does affect him as an adult in our relationship in that he fidgits alot and i need to tap him to remind him to keep still i tolerate it when we are going sleep, that he moves alot before he gets comfortable...
A. 24 May 2011: A lot of people were diagnosed with ADHD, some doctors now claim to many. Any child with the least bit active imagination was classified as having a disorder on the demand of over-worried parents.
http:... (read in full...)
Guys : Girls what do you think of "the rules?"
Q. The Rules: do you ladies out there follow them? And men- does it work? Do you like a lady better of she ignores you until you call? I'm asking because I'm such an open book and I think I make it too easy for guys by being easy going and not pl...
A. 24 May 2011: Symptom vs disease.
Some girls are so eager (spelled desperate) for a relationship that they dive in head first with the first guy that will give them the time of day. Often this guy tends to be a user.
Some girls then think that it is becau... (read in full...)
How do you know when you're ready to move in with your girl/boyfriend?
Q. How long do couples date usually before moving in together?...
A. 24 May 2011: When you don't have to ask random strangers for advice on what should just feel right.
Since you ask, it is to soon.... (read in full...)
What constitutes a pedophile?
Q. Is a person considered a pedophile if they just have sexual thoughts about children and teenagers much younger than them? Or do they actually have to sleep with a minor to be a pedophile?...
A. 24 May 2011: Strictly speaking there is a different term for every age group the attraction is focused on. But their usage is so rare, you can barely find any reference to it.
As for whether they actually got to do it... you are not a murderer just for thin... (read in full...)
I think I'm asexual and not sure what to do about it
Q. I'm really confused about my sexuality. I'm beginning to think I'm asexual as I haven't ever felt attracted to anyone male or female. When I see someone randomly or I'm dating someone and think about having sex or doing anything sexual with them I ...
A. 8 May 2011: Asexual does exist but sexuality is not an on/off switch. Same as most people are not strictly homo or hetero sexual but somewhere in between, asexual is another grey area.
Not everyone has the same sex drive. AND not everyone has the same soc... (read in full...)
I miss oral sex and foreplay. Should I cheat on my fiance?
Q. my fiance doesnt want to give me any oral sex getting really frustrated,im a very pretty girl never had this problem before,i couldnt get ant of my other boyfriends to get out of my vagina,yet he cant even toch it i dont even think ha has ever ...
A. 8 May 2011: So, your choice is to cheat rather then end the engagement?
Odd.... (read in full...)
Did I screw up our first kiss?
Q. So I'm dating my friend's ex, she doesn't care, but I really love him, a lot. She told me he treated her wrong, he would never kiss her or be sweet.. I found that wrong he Wants to kiss me for the first time :) he always hugs me, he is really sweet ...
A. 30 April 2011: No, you didn't kiss did you? So how can you screw something up which you didn't do?
If a kiss is going to happen in the future, that will be your first kiss.
Doe he love you? Maybe, for whatever the love of a teen boy is worth.
Just o... (read in full...)
How can I put on more weight as I hate being called skinny?
Q. im a 14 year old and i weigh 86lbs. before you call me bulimic,anemic,or anything else let me tell you i do none of those things. i dont know what to do people at school make fun of me and tell me im skinny. it really bugs me cuz i eat but i dont ...
A. 30 April 2011: Depending on your height, you might be the right weight. A doctor should be able to confirm this.
As a teen it is always hard not to be 100% like everyone else. As an adult, you will realize just how silly that is but that is a long time away.
... (read in full...)
Why do so many marriage end in divorce? what can I do to ensure my marriage is as solid as my parents?
Q. Hi all, First off let me say that I'm coming at this from a teenage perspective and as such an outsiders perspective. As you may know the divorce rate in the USA is around 50per cent for first marriages. Though my own parents are not divorced (Ma...
A. 30 April 2011: Eh, if you claim that 50% of first marriages end in divorce you are ALSO claiming that 50% of first marriages last forever.
That ain't bad at all. ... (read in full...)
Married man cares about me or does he only want some action?
Q. Hey all. Me and this married man have become friends. We are both married and we both know we are sexually attracted to each other. He seems to want to talk to me and be around me all the time and we have connected emotionally. We are both ...
A. 25 April 2011: Tsk, this should be easy. Just look at your own motivations. Is every married woman a bitch looking to bang someone? They can't all be the same!!!!! Well, you sure are.... (read in full...)
He says he's too lazy to love me any more. Is this real or is it his depression talking?
Q. What does it mean when you get dumped by your depressed boyfriend because he doesnt want love or relationships anymore because he's too lazy? Is that even possible? Can someone seriously be too lazy to want love and relationships?...
A. 25 April 2011: If he really has depression, then it is real. It is part of who he is. And yes, depression can suck the energy, even the motivation right out of a person. So yes, he could really feel that he is to lazy to have a relationship. But not all depressi... (read in full...)
I've received an offer to work in the porn industry. What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Q. i worked as a shot girl in a club. i basically wear a g string, a micro skirt and a crop top. for those who dont know a shot girl goes around dressed like i described handing out shots. anyway, i got chatting to a guy one work night. i finished earl...
A. 25 April 2011: Pay: Most of the time it is a fee payed from which you have to pay taxes yourself and everything else. Taxes are high for the self-employed. 50% is a very rough estimate from years ago for myself.
Sex: You had a one night stand, so apparent... (read in full...)
How do I convince him I'm good in bed? He doesn't realise that I'm a virgin.
Q. So I'm a virgin but I want to sleep with this guy who doesn't think im a virgin and will never know I'm a virgin as then he'll think I lied to him. Anyway, he's slept with lots of girls so is is experienced and I want him to think that I'm good in ...
A. 25 April 2011: Ah, so this is how girls who will later regret their first time think at the time.
Interesting. ... (read in full...)
All I want is a nice decent guy ...
Q. I am almost 37 and a divorcee, no matter how much I try, I cant get a stable relationship. I want to have a guy in my life but all that I come upon either wants a night out or my saving out (if any!). I dont seem to come upon a guy who has feelings ...
A. 25 April 2011: Contradict yourself often?
The title is "All I want is a nice decent guy..." but in the text you say "I want to have a guy in my life". No qualifications. Just a male. Not even a man, just any guy.
Desperate much? Lets see if I can explain th... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't feel anything for the first couple of minutes of sex anymore. I'm not enough!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of five years have recently started having problems. We both enjoy sex and usually have it once every day or two. A couple months ago he started this thing where I'll be touching him and going down on him but he is surfing th...
A. 25 April 2011: When you say going down on him, I presume you mean blowjob? And he then has to CONCENTRATE on something ELSE then the girl in his lap to make things happen?
Just how old is he?
And when you say he got really mad. Just how mad are we talking a... (read in full...)
G/f has intimate scenes in drama show, should I go to see it?
Q. My girlfriend is in a drama group and they are putting on a show. I really want to see her in action and be there for support but she has told me that she has a couple of intimate scenes with a guy. She said she would love to have me there but would ...
A. 22 April 2011: I wouldn't. But that is my choice. Then again, I would probably never be with a woman who is in a drama club in the first place. People are a package deal. You either take the whole package, or nothing at all. I wouldn't take the package. You did... (read in full...)
Never even a first kiss at 21 -- how lame is that?
Q. Dear Anybody who can help me: I am a female. I am 21. And I have never gone on a date... Or had my first kiss. How lame am I? I must seriously suck at life. And it sucks more when youre family is constantly asking.. "Why dont you have a boyfriend...
A. 22 April 2011: Not infertile at 21 with an STD. Not a single mother of multiple kids with different fathers. Not a booty call or sex with no benefits or whatever else women use to delude themselves they are not an unpaid hooker. How lame is that? ... (read in full...)
I'm 24, a virgin, sick of it but push everyone away because I'm scared!
Q. I'm tired of being like this. I'm 24 and a virgin. Now that in itself I do not have a problem with, but more the fact that it points to other issues, like how I find it incredibly hard to let a guy get close to me. I push everyone away because I'm ...
A. 22 April 2011: Those recruiters for modelling weren't talking about YOU the person, someone's potential partner the love of their life but a piece of meat to hang clothes on. A boyfriend, the right kind, would be interested in who you are. And that you might v... (read in full...)
Advice on buying sex toys.
Q. I am seeing someone and I want to buy some toys for me to use when we video call between our visits to each other. Thing is I have never bought and used sex toys before, and I really don't know where to start or what to think about getting, can ...
A. 15 April 2011: At least over here they sell them in regular stores now. Simply buy one that looks intresting. Penis look alike tend to about show rather then... ehm.. performance. If a guy gets to see it. Go for something not bigger then him if you catch my dri... (read in full...)
I'm 24, a virgin, sick of it but push everyone away because I'm scared!
Q. I'm tired of being like this. I'm 24 and a virgin. Now that in itself I do not have a problem with, but more the fact that it points to other issues, like how I find it incredibly hard to let a guy get close to me. I push everyone away because I'm ...
A. 15 April 2011: When you talk to a guy you start to like, where does that feeling of inferiority come from? Insecurity is one thing, inferiority another. Do you feel inferior to him? If so why? Whatever the feeling, try to put it into words for yourself, what e... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to believe I am who I am and don't want to be like them?
Q. This is a question about my mother....PLEASE READ!! Ok so Ive dealt with years of mental and physical abuse from my mum, she always tells me im worthless, no-one will love me, in useless, I'll never amount to anyone, I should just die already and ...
A. 14 April 2011: Why tell them? People in trouble often make several mistake and you are making two according to your post.
1. They seek to find an solution that would solve everything. You want to feel better and get things in order with your parents... okay but... (read in full...)
I'm 24, a virgin, sick of it but push everyone away because I'm scared!
Q. I'm tired of being like this. I'm 24 and a virgin. Now that in itself I do not have a problem with, but more the fact that it points to other issues, like how I find it incredibly hard to let a guy get close to me. I push everyone away because I'm ...
A. 13 April 2011: So I think it is safe to claim that you are insecure... why?
The bullying? Maybe but bullies often focus on the insecure because the secure fight back. So, was there something before this that made you an insecure person.
It would up to a sh... (read in full...)
Masturbation every night. Should I get help?
Q. Hello, I'm 16 and I masturbate every night. I was wondering if this is common or should I get some help? Please help...
A. 13 April 2011: Well, if you get help then it is no longer called masturbation... we call that sex :)
Nah, most guys do. So do most girls but they lie about it.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend being dramatic and a baby so I broke up with him
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend on Saturday because he was being really dramatic and was pissed that I wasn't going to pick him up at the airport because I had class (I haven't seen him for three months since he lives in another state by choice). I had ...
A. 13 April 2011: He was actually CRYING because you didn't pick him up?
The picking up at the airport. It depends, he had be gone for 3 months... you never ever skip a class for anything? It seems a bit cold...
But crying over it?
It seems he is to emo... (read in full...)
My past still bothers me. What can I do about it?
Q. as a kid i was molested or was touched by my sisters bf's son... a month later his dad hits on me ... and another guy touched me while i was in my teens..things like this kept happening to me... so that's how i started dressing like a boy i st...
A. 13 April 2011: Seek help.
Child/sexual molestation is not something you can just get over. It doesn't affect everyone the same way but clearly it is affecting you badly. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of kids unfortunately experience this and many nee... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has cut me off... what do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years (both in our 30s) and it has been rocky, but we both stuck into because we do care a lot about each other (I think- he has said he loves me but his actions dont say the same thing?), and we both ...
A. 13 April 2011: Love is such a convenient word isn't it. It is an excuse for everything. You describe a relationship that has nothing going for it, describe a guy that doesn't seem to have any redeeming quality but you don't need to, because you love him...
Why? ... (read in full...)
Do genuine relationships develop from internet dating or is it just a game?
Q. I joined an internet dating site. Some people said it’s worth a go, a lot of people warned me off, and told me there are a lot of users and losers out there. I met a guy, he was nice (although he seemed to have dated a lot of women via internet...
A. 13 April 2011: Yes and no.
Arranged marriages work. Simple fact. What is left out of this sentence is that voluntary arranged marriages work. As in both partners consent for the marriage to be arranged.
Forced arranged marriages do not work. However in most ... (read in full...)
Why do guys get clingy after sex?? I just want to have fun and not be tied down.
Q. Hey. I need some advice. I am 18 and nearing the end of my first year of college. I am very independent and am not looking for a relationship. I just want to have fun and not be tied down. I figure now is the time to get the party girl out of my ...
A. 13 April 2011: Oh boy... someone put this post in a time capsule, then mail it to this girl so she gets it a decade later. Wanna bet she has changed her tune by then?
If not, send this guys details to all the girls posting about guys only wanting sex and neve... (read in full...)
My boyfreind has been admitted to psychiatric care. How do I help him when he comes out?
Q. Dear Cupid I have the most wonderful but very troubled boyfriend. He has recently been admitted to psychiatric care as his depression and schizophrenia got out of control. I managed to get him admitted to care as I was concerned about him. His f...
A. 13 April 2011: Okay, as long as you make sure to run EVERYTHING he tells you through his doctor and/or verify it independently.
The problem is after all delusions, he imagines things and can't always tell them apart.
Talk to his doctor and ask for advice o... (read in full...)
My boyfreind has been admitted to psychiatric care. How do I help him when he comes out?
Q. Dear Cupid I have the most wonderful but very troubled boyfriend. He has recently been admitted to psychiatric care as his depression and schizophrenia got out of control. I managed to get him admitted to care as I was concerned about him. His f...
A. 10 April 2011: Okay, in your post you make claims about him being delusional AND schizophrenic. Now, this is important HAS he been DIAGNOSED with delusional schizophrenia? That is NOT some "harmless" mental disease. About the only term missing is paranoid and you ... (read in full...)
We're 14, are we old enough to have sex?
Q. hello, this is a pretty long question but it would be great if i could have your honest opinions, i'm 14 and i've been with my boyfriend who is also 14 for about ten months. we're very close and he's like my best friend as well as my boyfrien...
A. 10 April 2011: No. If you were, you wouldn't be asking. ... (read in full...)
Is sex something worth breaking up over?
Q. Heyyy. I'm graduating from high school next month. My boyfriend and I aren't sexually active. But lately he's been saying that he doesn't want to be a virgin when he starts college. (I honestly don't understand the rush.) But he knows where I stand ...
A. 10 April 2011: No but that doesn't mean it might not happen. Teenage boys are not known for their rational balanced approach to sex. Partly that is because they are insensitive bastards (lets face it, he is saying he wants sex as a status symbol NOT because he ... (read in full...)
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