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Which of the two do men remember more - their first love or their first sexual encounter?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Love stories, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Which one of the two do men remember more? Their first love or the person they had sex for the first time?

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A female reader, MsBehavin United States +, writes (5 June 2010):

MsBehavin agony auntI just asked my husband this question not too long ago. I was surprised to learn that his first love was more memorable. He explained that with most guys he knew that losing their 'virgin' status was more a process of getting the monkey off their back; that it was meaningless and unmemorable. (He didn't even remember the girl's name he lost his virginity to!) However, his first true love, he remembered everything about her in vivid detail.

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A male reader, Kama New Zealand +, writes (2 June 2010):

Kama agony auntFirst love, though, as has been said, we remember both. But for me, the first love is far more important in reflection and memory. The first sexual encounter was great, but it is flat in comparison to my first loves. The first loves I had were so intense sexually that they completely eclipse the first sex. Completely. When I am trying to make myself feel emotionally warm, I think of the first loves. When I try to make myself feel sexually warm, I think of the first loves. When I want to chuckle at the silliness of mediocre sex with no emotional fire, I think about the first loves. I never had great sex unless I was in love. Some people do though, but I never figured it out!

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (2 June 2010):

That's a great question!

I think "CaringGuy" has the right answer - as long as the first sex partner was somebody you were attracted to and cared for.

My first love (first G/F, first kiss) was the summer we graduated from High School, and lasted about 5 months. I wish her only the best. I still wonder if we could have enjoyed a satisfying and fulfilling marriage, though the woman I DID marry is probably a better partner for me.

My first sex partner (and I was hers, as well) was 5 years later. We have been married (to each other!) for almost 36 years now - I can certainly never forget HER!

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (2 June 2010):

C. Grant agony auntFirst love.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (2 June 2010):

LazyGuy agony auntBoth. So far. Contrary to popular opinion, men can think of more then one thing.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (2 June 2010):

Honest Answer agony auntI remember my first love. Looking back, I wish I had waited to have sex. I was 15 and in a highschool play. On the last night, the cast went to Mexico for a night on the town. When I was in HS, as long as you were an American and had money, you could drink in Mexico even though the drinking age was 18. After getting torn up, we ended back to one of the girls houses. Some how, I ended up having sex with one of the girls older (in college) sister. It was a mess. I can honestly say that I have no clue what the girl looks like or even her name. And until I saw this question, I had blocked the memory.

My first love was when I was a Junior in HS. I had dated many girls up to this point, but Laura was the first real love. I am 38 now, and I can tell you everything about Laura. Hair color, eye color, her parents names, her birthday, her phone number and on and on and on. Recently we reconnected via Facebook. Even though I am now married and have 2 kids, I still love her to this day. I would never ever cheat on my wife (and she knows me and Laura are FB friends).

So for me, it is my first love.

Good Luck!


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A female reader, MiscellaneousG United States +, writes (2 June 2010):

That is a really tough question. For me, I'd have to say first sex encounter based on my experience.

I had a secret admirer who had claimed I was his first love. He was able to give me up completely for his current girlfriend.

A few weeks ago, I had a boyfriend whom cheated on me to have another chance with his ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago--the one he has lost his virginity to.

Personally, I think guys have a deeper connection to physical connection than emotional.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2010):

They'll remember both if they're two different women, because they each served a different purpose. Sex and love are different, so a man will always remember the first of each.

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