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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Dependant on porn and worried about my fantasies
Q. I'm a 39 year old woman and a single mum. Not found a relationship that makes me happy and have become dependant on porn, but I feel sick with myself and this is the only place I feel I can share it without being judged. Problem is that when I surf ...
A. 23 November 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/stepfather-vs-daughter-with-mother-caught-in-the.html
Read her story for the alternative to masturbation.
Her daughter would be far better off is her mother just used porn instead of marrying a guy who alread... (read in full...)
Dependant on porn and worried about my fantasies
Q. I'm a 39 year old woman and a single mum. Not found a relationship that makes me happy and have become dependant on porn, but I feel sick with myself and this is the only place I feel I can share it without being judged. Problem is that when I surf ...
A. 22 November 2010: Okay. Lets change your dependency. Don't want a porn dependency, then get a man dependency. There are plenty of men looking for a woman completely dependent on them so they can control them.
Ah, not really an option is it, you just got to read thi... (read in full...)
Do women really prefer more 'masculine' men for sex but less 'masculine' men for relationships?
Q. I've read quite a few articles about evolutionary psychology and the theory that women tend to prefer more masculine men for short term sexual relationships, but prefer less masculine men for long term relationships. As I understand it, the theory ...
A. 22 November 2010: Do most teenagers have problems with their parents? Is the terrible teens a horrible fact families just got to life with?
No.
Surprising? It is a fact. But you just never hear about the countless families that do not have troubles. Sitcom... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watches gay porn on a regular basis!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years watches gay porn on a regular basis. He has always watched a lot of porn, but about 1 year ago I noticed gay porn and gay dating sites in his search history. He used to say that it was all pop ups from the ...
A. 21 November 2010: Not one gay tendency, except watching gay porn and visiting gay dating sites.
Even if the porn is only curiosity, why the dating sites.
And that adds a serious element. Dating sites are for dating. Not jacking off. So, he is doing far more t... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but still flirts with me I'm so confused.
Q. Theres this boy and at the very first of 1st Year he looked at me in class and I did back. but then a few weeks later.. he asked out this girl ( he didnt know her that well) and he he still used to flirt with me and text me.. and we we bestos (best ...
A. 20 November 2010: You know, I sometimes wonder. If you look at a pinball machine, does the ball know it is being played? Or is it so close to the action, it never sees the guy controlling it?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: In a relationship you sometimes got to do things you don't like. Visiting family is one of them. You do them because your partner wants to and you want to please your partner.
He doesn't.
Doesn't that tell you something?
And doesn't lik... (read in full...)
He loves who I am, but hates who I was!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. In the begining he was amazing. Super nice, caring everything i wanted. But lately we have been fighting over random things due to the stress of school. At some point I guess the fighting has gotten to ...
A. 19 November 2010: Caring, super nice.
Okay, so this guy is upset your not a virgin. Fair enough BUT you are NOT a virgin anymore are you? I know this, because you are having sex with him. But has he committed to you (married)? No.
So basically, he is upset you ... (read in full...)
He says it is due to my "lack of sexual desire" that I don't feel anything during sex. Is that true??
Q. My husband and myself have been having sex for the past one year. During this time I never experienced an orgasm. I want him to enjoy sex for which I take the initiative in doing things which he likes. Our sex usually lasts 5 mins. He starts ...
A. 19 November 2010: When you say you don't feel anything, do you mean no sexual excitement, not enough or you REALLY do not feel anything at all?
Provided you do feel something, then the problem is most likely that people need time. Time to get aroused and only the... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: Considering the ages involved, I doubt this will work out. Although this really isn't fair on either one of them, but there are just to many cases of impressionable white girls falling for the macho culture of Islam only to find that in the end, ... (read in full...)
Disastrous first attempt at sex
Q. I had sex for the first time today and it was kindof a disaster. We were both really nervous, and he kept loosing his erection for a while, and then he finally was able to keep it and he clumsily put on the condom. It was really hard to get it i...
A. 14 November 2010: What a load of nonsense by baddogbj. Ignore that kind of advice. That guy doesn't understand anything about life.
So, you weren't amazingly good at something your both tried for the first time. So?
When you learn to drive a car, it WILL sta... (read in full...)
Do guys like it when girls ask them out?
Q. Me and this guy have hung out a few times. We made out after a night a drinking. ( we have hung out after ) I like him, I feel he likes me too. I made a comment how I would never go for a guy I work with, but would break the rule for him. Should I ...
A. 12 November 2010: Would this be for a first date?
Normally I would say yes, a girl can take the initiative to get things going BUT you two already made out? Was that a date (that he setup)?
If not, then I think he should ask first. Yes, this is sexist but lets ... (read in full...)
How do you separate what you have from love on the TV or radio?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend about 5 years. most of that was long distance but we live together now. Living together has been so nice, so much better than apart, we're pretty receptive to each other's needs and we're both going through school and are ...
A. 11 November 2010: You can dress it up in a lot of words but the choice is simple:
Stick with what you got and accept it without constantly wondering if the grass is greener on the other side.
Look if the grass is greener but knowing you can never go back. ... (read in full...)
He'd rather play video games or hang out with his friends instead of having sex!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for the past two years...in two weeks it will be two years. I love him very much and I know that he loves me but I don't know anymore if it is in his heart to commit to me. Before, we used to have sex all the time...all ...
A. 11 November 2010: Why is turkey such a treat? Because you only get it for Christmas.
If you were fed it every single day, somebody shoved it into your face everyday, would you still want it all the time?
Yes, if you really loved turkey.
So, if he does not wa... (read in full...)
Boyfried said he found a skinny celebrity 'hot' and now I feel insecure. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. OK i need help here. When it comes to looks I'll admit it im not happy with how i look (well im not happy about one thing and thats my weight, Im a UK size 22) Anyways I was with my bf the other day and I dont remember how the convo came about...
A. 11 November 2010: Kiera Knightly? Is that the girl whose body was digitally enhanced for an entire movie to give her a cleavage? Now think for a second on how that might have made her feel. If she ever felt insecure over her breast size?
Would YOU feel insecure... (read in full...)
It feels like 'his' house rather than a home....
Q. Hi there, I think this site is wonderful, it has helped me so much being able to share my problems and getting feedback. I was wondering if anyone else shared this problem. I live with my partner in his house. Up until I moved in with him, I ...
A. 11 November 2010: I think the issue is not the furniture but your loss of Independence. You don't get that back by changing the carpet.
When you have up your own home, you gave up your own nest that you had build, created, lived in. Now you are living in his. The... (read in full...)
Was it too hot and that's why he didn't cum?
Q. I was having sex for about an hour with my boyfriend last night, in loads of different positions but he just didn't come! At least I don't think he did. He usually moans and he didn't, we just sort of stopped (because I was knackered!). I googled ...
A. 11 November 2010: Most likely he delayed for to long, because longer is "better" but if you do that for to long the penis just becomes desensitized. Think what happened to your vagina after an hour of sex. Pleasure or just soreness?
There is no harm in it (won't c... (read in full...)
Help! Does he like me or is he just a nice guy?
Q. I really need help! I'm in college (not sure if I needed to add that but at least it'll set a background)and there is this guy that I really really like. I've known him since last year. I'm confused because I'm not sure if he likes me or if he's ...
A. 11 November 2010: See how he responds to the cake and the card. Maybe pick a card that doesn't say I love you, but makes it clear he is not just a friend for who you had to get a card to be polite?
And if that doesn't provide an answer. Well, you CAN of course p... (read in full...)
Why does a girl become special only after a guy cheated on her?
Q. After a guy cheats on girl, why does she all of a sudden the love of his life? He starts saying things like: -Your the beautiful girl i wouldnt trade you for anything -I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you -You mean so much to m...
A. 11 November 2010: "I believe its out of desperation and after a couple months it will go back to the same way it was because if he meant what he said he would have showed it before and he wouldnt have cheated."
Yes.
... (read in full...)
How can I get our sex life back after we lost our child?
Q. 6 Months ago my husband and I lost our 1st child while I was giving birth to her. Ever since our sex life has not been the same. Any suggestions on what to do? Thanks ...
A. 10 November 2010: Did you two have counseling for this? The death of a child is naturally traumatic. But the death of a fat stomach is even harder to deal with.
You knew the baby. He didn't. Just something that made you bloat up. But if he says this, then he isn't... (read in full...)
She humiliated me!
Q. I lost my virginity to a girl I really liked the other week but then I found out she only slept with me on a bet. I'm 18 and have never been that good with girls. There was this one girl at my college who I really liked but never had the guts to ...
A. 10 November 2010: So, does everyone who knows you had sex with her mean EVERYONE? Including her mommy and daddy? Does the entire school know she has sex with guys for a bet? Oh she will be popular all right once that becomes common knowledge.
And if it is already ... (read in full...)
Why am I feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of him with another woman?
Q. I broke up with my b/f one month ago due his really bad temper. He has never hit me, but will break and throw things when he gets mad. Sometimes over trivial things. I knew it was best for me to leave him, which of course he threw a fit when I did. ...
A. 10 November 2010: Because heart and mind are not the same thing.
You know you are better of without him, but the heart is slow to listen.
Nothing to do but wait for the heartache to pass. It will happen, it always does but that does not make it easier.
Have ... (read in full...)
Want to be more than friends, but how as a 41 year old virgin?
Q. I am a 41 year old women who is still a virgin. I have always had a weight problem so am very uncomfortable about my body. I also have problems with trusting people not to hurt me or use me. I would love some advice on how to find someone and how to ...
A. 10 November 2010: The hymen is not the issue here. You say yourself that you have an issue with your body and in general with relating to people. The virginity is a result of that.
So, your question should be, how does a person who has issues with her self-ima... (read in full...)
How should I make him understand that I don't like this swap idea?
Q. I am 28 years old and my husband is asking me for swapping with another couple. He is angry to me that i denied for it and we are having arguments on this...he said nasty things to me and whenever we argue at end of it he makes love to me and he is ...
A. 10 November 2010: he makes love to me and he is rough when he does that. last night i cried bcz he hurt me when doing it.
I don't think you understand what "making love" is. There are far more serious issues in this relationship then swapping. ... (read in full...)
Her sexual past bothers me!
Q. I have been married for quite some years and I didn't ask about her past. But it came up. I told her that it was before me and it should not matter. Sooner or later it would come up, she has had numerous sexual partners in 3 years and none of ...
A. 8 November 2010: No. In so far as the way you feel is the person you are. And so is she, including her past.
What matters more? Some sense of pride that your wife was not a virgin? That you might not be the best of her lovers? That you had to pay for her while ot... (read in full...)
Telling him about a drunken mistake could cost our future together
Q. I am 27 years old and been with my partner for nearly 7 years. Last year we were going through a really bad patch and arguing a lot. One night we went out with a few friends and we had all had some drugs and acholol. We have now distanced ourselves ...
A. 8 November 2010: Okay, you got three choices.
A: You don't tell. Lie for the rest of your life. Can you do it? If so, I would say that says a lot about you and your love.
B: You are found out some other way. Someone tells or you tell later on. Nothing you say ... (read in full...)
She's had sex with her friend before, now he wants to meet her to "catch up" and this bothers me. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. All is grand. She used to have a best friend, a guy, who she maintains she was very close too. One night, they had sex, she insists it was a mistake, 'a complete one off' and tha...
A. 8 November 2010: Was the sex when you two were an item or not?
If so, she has cheated before, it is then perfectly reasonable to expect them to show more restraint. If she isn't willing to show extra restraint (if she cheated she can't claim to be innocent... (read in full...)
Controlling b/f texts me 200 times a day?
Q. Hi, and thanks for reading my post. I've always been a happy person, smiling,laughing enjoying my life lately I'm tired, headaches, a tad down. I'm sure its because of my turbulent relationship. It started like a dream come true. He was charming,...
A. 8 November 2010: Control freak. Could come out of a textbook so here is a textbook answer: Run!... (read in full...)
If he don't please me, should I have to please him?
Q. my boyfriend admitted that he only cares about his sexual plessure and that he isnt worried about me getting mine. witch explains why all this trying to convience him that i want more forplay isnt working. i tried to explain to him that the type of ...
A. 8 November 2010: Is this what love is about? What you SHOULD HAVE to DO?
Basically it sounds like you need cuddling. Some men like that, some are indifferent to it but only a few plain refuse to do it. The first group wouldn't be a problem, the middle group wo... (read in full...)
He's perfect but he's going to be a dad!
Q. Hey people any help would be appreciated, I'm seeing a guy for the past month now I'm 18 he's 21 and hes really nice,caring an all round good guy and basically everything I'm looking for right now. The only problem is he's expecting a baby...
A. 8 November 2010: So a perfect man knocks up his old gf, ditches her and hooks up with another chick before the baby is even born?
... (read in full...)
I'm due in 2.5 weeks and I'm not ready for this child!
Q. So as not confuse you, I'll put these facts in list form: -My husband and I are both 19 (he'll be 20 the end of this month) and we've been together for two years (tomorrow is our two year anniversary). -We've been married for three months an...
A. 6 November 2010: You are not ready for this child? Realizing the true horror of 2.5 weeks until a tiny living human being is utterly depended on you and you haven't got a clue and will never be able to deal with it all? And that from now on your entire life will be ... (read in full...)
Is a girl more attractive when she plays games?
Q. Does anyone agree that playing games spices up a relationship? I was with a guy for almost 3 years... we lived together 2 years and had spoken of marriage. One day we had a small argument and I came home from work and all of his stuff was gone. I ...
A. 6 November 2010: What is a relationship? Is it two people deciding that they want to be together? No.
Read that sentence VERY carefully and think about your OWN story. HE decided he wanted to be with you, you decided the mere thought of it made you sick, he decid... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see him as how he is, not a prince charming
Q. Hi, I have been in a strong loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years, never had any major problems that any normal relationship wouldn't go through. I became pregnant five months ago and it seems like our relationship just ...
A. 6 November 2010: What I often find most intresting is what a poster does not say. The financial situation behind it all goes completely unmentioned.
But it is important. This is not a teenage girl who forgot the pill. This is a mother of a child in her middle t... (read in full...)
Why doesn't boyfriend stop wasting money on rent and move in with me?
Q. My boyfriend of four months lives with me and my two kids but I pay rent and utilities. He has his own place on the side which he never stays at. I just don't get why he keeps his place and wastes money on rent instead of helping me! He says he is ...
A. 6 November 2010: What ages are we talking about here?
Because your profile says 18-21 yet you can afford to spend 1000 (what) on rent? Have two kids?
He is probably getting cooked food, cleaned clothes and sex out of this arrangement. That might be ALL he ... (read in full...)
Can't find a job. Advice anyone?
Q. This probably isn't the right place to ask as this isn't relationship related at all, but I thought maybe some of you could give me some advice. I finished college in July and moved in with my boyfriend over a month ago. The whole time while I ...
A. 12 October 2010: What is it YOU want to do. What is it you CAN do. What is it people WANT you to do.
The first is most important, although you are still young enough to be able to mess around for a while. But if you are not happy with a job then it will be hard ... (read in full...)
Do guys stress about first dates?
Q. do guys get just as nervous as girls do on first dates? what are some of the worries they have? i always get stressed out before the first date and the guys always seem so nonchalant and calm. why is this?...
A. 12 October 2010: Either because they are not stressed about a first date with you, or because they are acting.
The more stressed you are, the easier it is for someone else to appear cool. ... (read in full...)
I need help with this... What do you class as cheating?
Q. Hiya all... Well im a 20 year old girl and i think i am bi-sexual, i have never done anything with a female but really want to. The only thing is i have a boyfriend. I have explained to him about everything and he says he doesnt class me being...
A. 10 October 2010: People are not nearly as open minded as they they are when it is actually happening to them.
It is one thing to not see another woman having sex with your gf as a threat, it is another thing to actually have this happening. Knowing she is out ther... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginity... and I'm scared I'll lose him if I say no.
Q. Am a 14 year old girl with a 17 year old boyfriend who wants 2 have 6 kids with me in the future. the thing is now he wants 2 break my virginity. I am still a virgin and am not ready. I dont wanna loose it. He's the best boyfriend ive ever had ...
A. 10 October 2010: If the best boyfriend you ever had is like this, then you need to improve the class of your boyfriends.
17 year old boys don't want kids and they never ever think of the future (unless it is a car). Kids == sex.
And if you can only keep him wi... (read in full...)
Pubic hair... does it turn you off or on?
Q. Do guys get turned off by hair... not only pubic hair... but hair on the chest and stomach part as well?? What is the best and easiest method to get rid of pubic hair? Please help!...
A. 10 October 2010: I am old and for me, the pubic hair was the first glimpse of a woman's private/forbidden parts. When I grew up, the pubic wars raged, the battle between playboy and penthouse about who could show what. And while pubes were allowed by then, it was ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be gay and not know it?
Q. Just broke up with my boyfriend who had been living with me for three years and I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I've met his parents, but in 3 years never met one single one of his friends. He always talked about me when he was on t...
A. 10 October 2010: I have a far simpler explanation: You were a booty call and he expect his booty call to do all the house work.
Lots of guys are perfectly capable of doing housework but don't when there is a woman to do it.
I see no reason for thinking he is g... (read in full...)
My children want me to try again with my wife but I just want OUT!
Q. I was 1000% commited to leaving my marriage. I have filed for Divorce 6 months ago. I am not happy about it. I did not ask for what has happened. My wife, who I have many many past hurts against such as she is very abusive, including physically. ...
A. 10 October 2010: Kids are selfish bastards, as a parent you must realize this.
This is not talking trash about your kids, but for any child, parents are providers of food, shelter, cash and STABILITY. It is only much later that children become capable of understa... (read in full...)
Invading partners privacy....how wrong is it
Q. 3 weeks ago I broke up with my bf (whom I had been with for 4 months) after I read his emails and found out he's been meeting another woman. He apologised and tried to get me back (he didn't know that I read his emails , I just told him I don't ...
A. 10 October 2010: It is very handy for him to get angry for your snooping because it totally allows him to get away with cheating.
Convenient.
Trust in a relationship is about being ABLE to trust the other person, it requires action on their part. It is NOT ... (read in full...)
Guys: What are signs that he's only into it for sex?
Q. What are some signs a girl could look for in a guy to tell that he is only interested in sex and nothing more prior to actually going out or anything? Primarily interested in the guys' responses. Thanks....
A. 6 October 2010: You can't see before dating, that is why dating was invented. And the easiest way to tell is NOT by looking at how he behaves towards you, but towards others.
You are NOT special.
If other people are to him objects to be used, then you a... (read in full...)
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