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Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Should I deal with my abusive stepdad or leave home?
Q. Last night, while I was sitting on the couch with my mom and step dad, my step dad and i started arguing mildly. He started to raise his voice, and I asked him to stop, but he didn't, and kept raising his voice even more. He was really getting on my ...
A. 7 January 2010: You are concerned for your mother, but clearly she isn't concerned for you.
She has made her choice, you need to make yours.
It is understandable you want to protect your mother, but you can't. Get out, follow your brothers example. Your mo... (read in full...)
Worried about nipple size
Q. This is probably a self-esteem question. I've been seeing this guy for a while, and I want to take it to the next level. Not sex yet, but other things. I have a problem with my body though and I'm scared he won't find me attractive after. My chest ...
A. 7 January 2010: http://www.007b.com/nipple_gallery.php
Nipples come in all size and shapes.... (read in full...)
I think I'm in the "why buy the milk?" situation!
Q. I'm 26 years old and my bf of 3 yrs (25) is really dragging his feet on the engagement issue. Since we started dating there has been so much discussion about our future, our children, where we'll live, etc. We've been living together for over 2 ...
A. 5 January 2010: "and I know he loves me enough"
Enough for what and how do you know?
And I think you mean "why buy the cow". The milk is the sex.
Since you have talked to him about this, he clearly has reasons not to ask. What they are is for you to find o... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on online dating sites and I'm NOT happy about it!
Q. Hi there, My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me, I'm 28 and we love one another and we're living together but there are a few things I'm not happy about our relationship. He loves going out and barely asks me to go out together. Also I...
A. 5 January 2010: He says he is single and wants to meet girls.
What part of that say boyfriend?
"we love another".
Nope. He is just keeping you around until someone better comes along.
... (read in full...)
Is a condom enough to help keep me from getting the virus?
Q. I've met a guy who told me that he has genital herpes. He takes Valtrex, and hasn't had an outbreak in two years. I do like him but don't know if taking a risk to have sex with him would be worth it. He says he has only gotten outbreaks on his ...
A. 5 January 2010: Yes, with the understanding that condoms don't go all the way down. So if he has blisters on the part that ain't covered that is still an additional risk (although it is a lot of work for a virus to cross that way rather then via sperm).
You m... (read in full...)
My man has done a disappearing act, will he come back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about a month, he's expressed a lot of interest in me and it's been going great and we get on really really well. But I haven't seen him for almost a week, or heard from him for a couple of days and I'm starting to ...
A. 5 January 2010: Swine flu eh?
Is it still running in britain? Cause it mostly seems to be out of the news in holland.
Although I would say that just because girls can text a guy when dying, men might think a little bit differently. We are big babies when we a... (read in full...)
Husband looking at porn sites rating wives?
Q. Is it normal for a man to be looking at a porn sight which focuses on other adults rating videos posted in of them having sex with their wives (it is actually called something that is about rating wives) when he has only been married less than a ...
A. 5 January 2010: Normal? What is normal?
I think you are asking the wrong question.
A marriage is two people agreeing to go forward in live together according to a set of rules that they create. What those rules are are different for every couple.
Some ... (read in full...)
Does he think am a SLU*T?
Q. ive been texting this guy.. hes real sweet and sexy.. and ive been proper flirty..cos am like that naturally.. now am scared maybe he thinks am easy cos he just asked for exclusive pic and i text him i dont do them kinda pics.. i t...
A. 5 January 2010: He did think you were and then you set him straight and he backed off.
I think your flirted a little bit to seriously and sent him the wrong message.
But in this case it worked out (unless you wanted a guy who only wants you for sex).... (read in full...)
Why do some people never see others pain?
Q. I have 3 drug addict children. They are doing it since 14. They are in their twenties right now. Me and my husband tried everything, and nothing helped. Ourselves, we never did anything, what could cause such a bad outcome? We never been showing ...
A. 5 January 2010: Why is it so hard for you to understand that people will not feel to much sympathy for parents who raised three drug addicts and failed 100% as parents?
If you want sympathy from someone, first put yourself in their shoes. Before you kids turned i... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my husband?
Q. I have been married for over twenty years, my husband told me a few months ago that he is hauted by the thought of havingsex with multiple partners, including myself. I really tried to understand him, but I am not at the same point as he is. Finall...
A. 3 January 2010: Might you two simply be heading in different directions?
He wants an open marriage, you don't. Either he gives in or you do. Or, the marriage ends.
The fact that he came close to cheating suggests he feels strongly enough about this to ri... (read in full...)
My mum is eating herself into an early grave... how can I get her to change?
Q. Please help. I'm really worried about my mum. She's been overweight for as long as I can remember but I'm really starting to worry about her health now. She's very heavy - she must be obese although I'm sure she doesn't realise this or is in denial. ...
A. 3 January 2010: Comfort eating?
You are trying to make her stop eating, but she eats because it makes her happy. Excersing/dieting does not make her happy.
So, you need to find another way to make her happy.
... (read in full...)
I masturbate so much I get headaches!
Q. Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl. I started to masterbate when I, 7. Anyways, I masterbate like 4 to 6 times a day to the point where I have a bad headache. It's like I can't get enough... Is there something wrong with me???...
A. 31 December 2009: Physically, no. You do realize that a lot of blood is being pumped around during arousal (internally, you got a reverse erection going on that in size is bigger then male erections) and that has an effect on your body.
But mentally... there is... (read in full...)
Vagina tightening cream?
Q. has anyone tried the vagina tightening cream Manjakini.does it work? and how do you use it?...
A. 31 December 2009: It sounds unlikely.
From the FAQ page:
Does Harmony Cream interfere with oral sex?
They claim it doesn't.
So, the cream is supposed to affect the skin and muscle in your vagina but not the skin and muscles in your mouth and throat?
T... (read in full...)
Can using condoms & morning after pill be effective to prevent pregnancy and STDs?
Q. out of genuine curiosity. my first time having sex with my boyfriend and we been together just over 9 months. we are long distance relationship but live only like 20 miles. we had our ups and our downs but we love each other nonetheless. ...
A. 31 December 2009: Morning after pill should really only be used if you got no choice. It is not meant to be taken as a precaution, more as an emergency fix if the precaution failed.
Better to go on the pill.
And condoms are the only protection against STD's.... (read in full...)
Will my long labia be a turn off to my boyfriend?
Q. i am 15 and i have extremely long inner labia and like all of my friends, well lets just say you cant even see theirs, and i dont know if it is abnormal. My boyfriend wants to go 'down there' and play around but i am nervous that he will be turned ...
A. 31 December 2009: http://www.vulvavelvet.org/pictures1.html (Not safe for work, but safer then staring at other women)
I can't find the old link it used to be less pornographic but it still shows just how different it can be.
... (read in full...)
He slept with a prostitute
Q. i found out that my boyfriend of 7 years slept with a prostitute on a lads weekend. he had been to a STD clinic and i found the appointment slip. at first he tried to deny anthing and then admitted it. i asked him to leave, and he left the next day ...
A. 30 December 2009: You say he has been self-destructive. Well, this would be a good example, blowing up the relationship like this and refusing to do anything to fix it. Just hiding away.
Has his depression gotten worse perhaps?
Depression is very difficult t... (read in full...)
Can I tell my family I'm pregnant without disclosing the relationship information?
Q. Okay - i am preganant and living with my folks. Most of my family still believe me to be a virgin, they have no idea that i had a boyfriend for a few months a little while ago. This is gonna be hard because they will not exspect it at all - if i was ...
A. 30 December 2009: Stop being a little girl asking the entire world to please play by her rules.
If you make choices in this live, you got to accept that their may be consequences, not matter how much your dislike them. It is called being an adult.
Tell your fam... (read in full...)
I can't get over this jerk!
Q. I dated a guy for 8 months who moved away in august for another job. we weren't serious and he was very selfish and treated me poorly. i knew deep down i should have dumped him on date two, but i held on because i wanted a boyfriend. stupid, i ...
A. 30 December 2009: You need a man. That is about as attractive to most men as showing up for the first date in a wedding dress. Men are hunters, they want to track a woman, hunt her down like an elusive deer. Not to get out of the car and be jumped at by some game ... (read in full...)
How 'perfect' should a boyfriend be to consider marriage with him?
Q. I have had about 6 boyfriends(apart from the current one), from the time i was 16 till now (am 31), and of the six, five of them had "defects" i couldnt imagine myslef leaving with. This ranged from low self esteem to violence. I have always dreamt ...
A. 30 December 2009: If you got to ask, it ain't the right one.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked if his was biggest
Q. I wanted to be honest and open with my boyfriend who I adore. It was about my past in bed, past boyfriends. I was only serious with one other. The question of size came up. It wasn't good, actually bad with my first serious boyfriend. Is great ...
A. 30 December 2009: This is the male version of: Does my ass look big in these pants.
Only right answer is to leap out of the window.
Guys keep asking this despite women saying that size doesn't matter as much as technique and size actually hurting sometime... (read in full...)
He slept with a prostitute
Q. i found out that my boyfriend of 7 years slept with a prostitute on a lads weekend. he had been to a STD clinic and i found the appointment slip. at first he tried to deny anthing and then admitted it. i asked him to leave, and he left the next day ...
A. 30 December 2009: Well, I can't tell you what to do, it is your life.
You say you are devastated by that he no longer wants you. But do you actually want him back? Or is it just that your pride demands that he begs for forgiveness?
An understandable e... (read in full...)
I use masturbation to relieve stress...but I feel guilty afterwards. Any advice?
Q. Hi, i'm 15 years old and i've been masterbating since I was 2...Literally. I tried to stop last year but I still do it up to this day, although I feel guilty, dirty, and ashamed after. I heard it's a stress reliever , it does take away all my other ...
A. 29 December 2009: You probably been raised to think it is bad.
While masturbation itself is fine and can be a way to relieve sexual tension without actually having sex (which would be bad considering your age) anything taken to extreme is bad for you.
For ins... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy of the "perfect man"
Q. I'm a bit confused at the moment, hope someone can help. I have this thing for cute, blond men and I've always dreamed of ending up with a man like that. I met one a year ago, we dated a little and I fell head over heels for him. But he said he d...
A. 29 December 2009: Say you find Mr Perfect. What makes you so sure you are Miss Perfect to him?
But if you are not in love with him, then you are not in love with him. But then, why can't you life without him?
You got to figure out what it is you are really feeli... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't trust me and I'm sick of it!
Q. I just saw the search history on my boyfriends computer. We've been together for almost two years, and I have never once been unfaithful or lied. I reassure him constantly that he is the one I want to be with. He tells me that he trusts me and...
A. 29 December 2009: You ask "Do all men..."
Why do you think that all men are like this? That this could be "normal" behavior?
And what if it was, would that make it allright.
Oh all men beat their women with canes, so it is alright?
Read up on "control fre... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin at the age of 23...
Q. Dear Cupid, I will be 23 in february and i am still a virgin. My best friend and the family members who know say its such a good thing and hold me up on some sort of pedestal. I know they are saying this because its the right thing to say and life...
A. 29 December 2009: Your answer is simple to obtain.
Count the posts here where guys are upset about their gf having to much of a sexual past and being a virgin.
From what I have seen, there are several dozen of the first, none of the second.
But really, thi... (read in full...)
Which protection is safer?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. I've decided i want to loose my virginity to him. when we started talking about what protection we would use we had an issue. for my first time i want a guy to cum inside me, but of course i ...
A. 28 December 2009: He will cum inside, just in the condom. Safe from STD and accidental pregnancy.
Read up on the STD rate among girls your age in the US.
... (read in full...)
He's making me feel guilty because he pays for me on dates!
Q. i've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for over a year now. in the beginning of the relationship, things were fine. i was in high school and he was in college. neither of us were quite financially sound (hey, we're students), so it...
A. 28 December 2009: Well once you go dutch, you never go back (look at the flag)
This can be a sensitive subject but by making it an issue I think he is signaling the wrong intentions.
If you are dating a girl and are thinking of the bill, you got the wrong focus.... (read in full...)
Are the things he says to me normal? Do other women accept this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Aside from all of the false accusations of infidelity (that seem to be habitual for him...and kill me inside), he uses depression and unemployment as excuses for his harsh words about me, my ...
A. 28 December 2009: Lol, you got to love the last one.
"but he tells me that it was because none of my ex-boyfriends really loved me."
Classic.
In a way, yes this is "normal" and yes other women do accept this.
What you are experiencing is a classic case o... (read in full...)
Did he mean to call me his girlfriend?
Q. I am confused about a guy I've been seeing for a few months. Our relationship is very casual, more like friends with benefits than dating, as it's based mostly on sex. I like him more than I can admit to him, because he is very distant and often ...
A. 28 December 2009: He referred to you as a gf while telling a joke, what else should he have called you? Piece of tail? Easy fuck?
It is not unknown for romance to develop from FWB but it is FAR more common for the woman to develop feelings and read to much into a f... (read in full...)
Why does sex seem to kill my relationships?
Q. I really enjoy sex but not promiscuously... only with someone I really care about.. problem is that when I am with someone I care about and that side of me comes out.. things seem to take a turn for the worse in my relationships.. kinda like they ...
A. 28 December 2009: I can think of two reasons.
A: You are not very good at it.
B: You are dating guys who only want sex and worse, can get it easily. After all, if a guy only wanted sex from you but had to work hard at it, he would hardly let it fall apart so ea... (read in full...)
If porn is no big deal, it shouldn't be hard for him to choose, right?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? At the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend of years) i told him i hate porn. If he watched it, he's gone. End of story. Reasons being, the girls are someones duaghters, yet they allow themselves to have ...
A. 28 December 2009: You say you would rather be single then be with someone who watches porn.
Fair enough, but you are NOT single. You are in fact with a guy you had a child with. That suggests to me a relationship of at least 9 months.
So, you say it shouldn't... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance?
Q. The other day I ran into the guy I was seeing over the summer. He ended it with me because he still had feelings for his ex. Well he went back to his ex and ended it agaaain with her. He has been chasing me ever since Aug. He said it was a big ...
A. 28 December 2009: How is what he is saying now different from what he said before?
And how is he acting differently?
What exactly has changed?... (read in full...)
Unsure about bringing another man into the marriage?
Q. I am confused as I said before I am married , and my husband has asked me several times about bringing another man into our bed. We even have named my dildo, at this point I am fine with the dildo in my mouth, or pussy while my husbands penis is i...
A. 28 December 2009: A common question and a common answer:
Be REALLY certain that BOTH of you have thought this out completely and then THINK some more.
Simpler problems:
1. The other man is better at it/has a bigger penis.
2. You get pregnant.
3. STD's
4. ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to do something bad so I hurt. How can I fix this?
Q. Ok so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months, i love him to death and he is so good to me, he treats me like a princess, but I want him to fight with me, i want him to do something so bad i hurt. Now in my past relationship they have ...
A. 28 December 2009: There is something easy about a bad relationship, you know what it is going to be like and you know who to blame and you can always hope things get better. There is a goal, something to look forward to, even if it never happens. Cake tomorrow.
... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby at 24?
Q. I'm about to completely change my life and I need some advice from people in a similar situation. I am 23 and have been with my partner for 3 years and we've been living together for the past 2.5 years. Our relationship is strong and we have great ...
A. 27 December 2009: No parent has ever been ready. I seen plenty of young parents up-close and their faces are first pure bliss (yes men, you too) and then slowly become pure terror as they realize that this is it. A tiny life, forever dependent on you.
When ... (read in full...)
Can opposites attract and last?
Q. hey me and my bf are best friends very much in love but we are very very different. our hobbis are different we like different music, wear different clothes and come from different cultures. however deep down we have the same core beliefs. we are b...
A. 27 December 2009: Yes and no.
I see it as such, if they complement each other, then it can work. If they oppose each other, it can't.
Take an extrovert and an introvert. Can they make it? Yes, if the extrovert occasionally longs for a bit of quiet and the in... (read in full...)
Am I worthless??
Q. Evening everyone.I just feel so worthless at the moment....You know how everyone has something they are good at? Well im rubbish at everything. I failed my driving test, i didnt get a work promotion despite working late and training up several ...
A. 27 December 2009: Other people's judgment?
You are doing a pretty good job tearing yourself down, despite not all that much being there.
So, you failed your driving test. Lots of people do and the test are becoming stricter. And even if you fail it always, that ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to break ties with my unloving mother?
Q. Do I have the right not to have contact with my mother, if I feel she is very damaging for me? I had been thru a lot at the last few years, with my kids and marriage, and she can't stop blaming me for everything , what has gone wrong. So now, it ...
A. 27 December 2009: Personally, I am not much for forgiveness and all that crap.
Sometimes I see families so fucked up that you wonder just why these people continue to contact each other.
If the relationship is that bad, then yes, I think it is ok to break the ... (read in full...)
Any advice on leaving?
Q. I am 40+ and have been with the same man for 11.5 years. We have had our ups and downs. We have 5 kids between us and the relationship he has with my 19 year old son is terrible. He doesn't live with us any more. Back in the Spring my son acted ...
A. 27 December 2009: I should have left this man a long time ago but I do love him.
The doctor told me to stop smoking or I will life the rest of my life with unhappiness but I love smoking so much.
What is different here? Would you say that a sensible person ... (read in full...)
Flirting but has girlfriend?
Q. there is a guy i like who has i girl friend but keeps flirting with me does he like me i like him. help !!!!!!!...
A. 27 December 2009: Then you like a guy who flirts with other girls when he has a girlfriend.
... (read in full...)
I want to have his baby but he doesn't love me!
Q. im 24 and pregnant. Ive been in love wit the same man since i was 18 and he def isnt in love wit me. He has another gf who ive seen he loves yet we still sleep together ive not told him yet. We have a bad past ive previously told his current gf we ...
A. 27 December 2009: Sometimes I think we should lock women up from birth to stop them seeing any romantic movie, read any romance novel until they are of a sensible age. 60+ or something.
Love should never be used as an excuse for your messed up live.
Wheneve... (read in full...)
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