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Secondary school friends or Uni friends???

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Question - (2 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My birthday is coming up soon this weekend and I don't know whether to celebrate it with my friends from secondary school or university. The reason being as follows:

Although I have known my secondary school friends for most of my life, we haven't been close as before for the past couple of years. I don't talk to them as much as before but I consider them as my mutual friends.

In comparison with people from uni, I'm not really as close with them although I know many.

It will be my 21st so ideally I'd prefer to celebrate it with my friends from school but I know they will say no. Any advice? thanks

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntYour life now is at the university. It will be good to know more uni friends now, as they can help you with discussions and assignments from your professors.

Send invitations to your secondary school friends too, regardless whether they would come back with a "no" answer. In the "invitation" (be it text message, card, or email), ask them to reply with confirmation or regret, so you will know how many will come (simply logistics reasons). Sending them invitations is a good way to let them know that you are still thinking of them.

You will continue to make new friends as you live your life, and you will have this same situation as you are facing now. And if like getting together with friends, you can always plan small "parties" with different groups of friends on different occasions throughout the year.

Have fun and enjoy your friends! And, Happy Birthday!

Cat

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (2 March 2009):

jessica04 agony auntInvite those that you do speak with a lot from Uni. And use this an an excuse for all of your old school friends to catch up and hang out.

Don't be afraid to mix the group. If they're your friends, they'll all have a blast celebrating with you.

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