A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf and me hav been goin out for over a year he recently has been having problems wih his family and asked me to marry him i sed yeh but wen i sed we should tell the family and frends he refused he wants a secret ceremony should i mary him or not?P.s im a muslim girl so marrying without family consent is seen as rong!qlso we dnt plan to move in togethr straight away he said once he has enough money we should elope should i risk the shame on my family?
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female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 It depends on what you value. If you are close with your family, and respect their views, then is this guy really worth the rift that could come between you and your family?
If he doesn't want his own family at his wedding, that's one thing, but there is no reason why yours cannot be involved.
I for one would be heartbroken if my family could not be there to see me get married, and I know they would never forgive me for taking that special moment away from them. Your family deserves to be shown proper respect by him. If he cannot respect your family, he is ultimately not respecting you. To me that's a huge red flag.
What is wrong with waiting for marriage until he has his finances settled?
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