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Am I doing something wrong in this relationship or is she just "over" me?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2015)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Well, I met this woman about a week ago at a friends party.

We have been sending messages over email this week. I have told her a lot about things I am doing and she responded.

I actually said I was sorry for sending a long message and that it was maybe best not to talk about it so much over email.

She has not responded to that previous message for 3 days now. She asked me if I wanted her number when we first met last week but she also gave me her email address so I've been using that way to communicate. However maybe I should have called or used sms? She doesn't have my number.

Am I doing somethings wrong or do you think she is no longer interested? I really like her we had a lot in common both being in the same profession.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntCALL HER.

my husband and I dated LDR the first year we were together and email was and still is our primary way of communication but there is NOTHING like a nice phone call. NOT a text.

A PHONE CALL with voice.... it's old school... try it.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (29 March 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntIs there any reason you didn't call her?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015):

You met casually at a party. When people exchange numbers, not much can be expected; because it can be a spur of the moment impulse. She may have felt "you" weren't so interested, by starting-off with an e-mail. She may have had a drink too many, and forgot who you are. People rarely use e-mail as a means to make a "romantic-connection;" so she may not check her e-mail daily.

It's only been a few days, and you don't really know each other. My advice to you, and many other readers; you should always take a chill pill when you don't get a jet-response to your messages from people you've just met.

Their message response-time is not always an accurate measure of their interest in you. Some people may simply prefer being called over messaging. If you reach voice-mail, and the same occurs? Shrug them off, and go about your life. Overreacting is a sign of desperation. Be dignified and mature about it.

You hardly know her. Call, and have a chat. Ask her out. Look how long you've waited? Why do you believe she's over you? She has yet to have the chance to get to know you.

How about a call?

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2015):

If she's responding to you then she likes you. Maybe as a friend maybe more. If I did'nt like someone, I would spend time communicating with them and making an effort to speak to them. Or even offer them my contact details.

It could be she's bored with e.mailing you. It's nice at first then it gets boring. It could be she wants to meet up but may be waiting for you to suggest it. I met a lovely guy online once. We clicked and spent weeks txting, e.mailing and facebooking, then...he went quiet. I thought he'd gone off me or found someone else.

Then he txt me and said "I'm getting frustrated and bored with the txting etc What do you say we meet up this week and grab a burger somewhere?" So we did. You have to take this to the next level. E.mailing etc first is always good to warm up then progress from there to face to face interactions e.g meet up. Txt her and ask her to meet up for a coffee or a burger.

Then see what she says. If she happily accepts great! If not and she makes excuses then maybe then can you say she's not interested. The last e.mail you sent may not have bothered her at all. Don't read too much into it. Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI forgot to add this THIS have JUST been a WEEK - it's NOT a relationship..... YET.

RELAX and TRY not to complicate thing s by reading into EVERY little thing she does/doesn't do. It will make you nuts.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (28 March 2015):

Garbo agony auntYou should have called her and set up to meet. So do that ASAP and don't bother her with emails. Most people don't care to read long winded emails, maybe as a confirmation. Instead, she is getting messages from you through the medium that most people send spam even though she gave you her number but still does not have yours. It's her who may have doubts about your real intentions. So call now and set up any type of one on one meeting for the soonest day available.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (28 March 2015):

janniepeg agony auntNot anything wrong. It could be preference of communication. Maybe she is waiting for you to ask her out? Many women don't want to be only good for chatting but not for dating. They don't see the point of chatting just for the sake of it. Some women develop interest through prolonged chatting but more like the direct approach. If you had been emailing for one week you should be able to know whether she is married, or looking for a relationship. I would call her and see if she wants to meet with you one on one. That way you would know for sure.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntCALL her.

TALK to her, not SMS's.

Then if you ARE interested ASK her out. YOU can not CARRY on a budding relationship/friendship/getting to know you over e-mail. It's impersonal.

And don't forget this lady HAS a life. She might be interested but she is not going to constantly check her e-mail to see if you wrote. NOR is she going to JUDGE you if you write long e-mails, but again WHY not simply call her?

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