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Does he have a disorder or is he just a liar?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 May 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2018)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello i have a question, i have been dating this guy for 3 months but am confused about his character.The first time met him, he told he was born Jan 30th, the next time i asked he said 20th feb 1979 i asked to see his Id it was 1th Jan 1978. Last time he told me his sons birthday was in April, when i asked again he told me August. His company had a job vacancy for a receptiontist, i asked how much was the salary he told me 800 dollars, when i checked the advertisment on internet it was 500 dollars. I mean he could have said he doesnt know. The strange thing is he remembers things i tell him, but forgets what he tells me. When i met him his son was 6 years old last week he said 5 years old.When i asked how many years he has been in his company he first said 6 later said 9. I even asked what is his phones name, he could tell the brand ,but did not know the model unbelivable. He told me wants us to have a serious but slow relationship. I asked him how long do we know each other, he replied i dont count this things.My question is does he have a disorder or his just a liar.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (21 May 2018):

femmenoir agony auntThis guy is a compulsive liar and yes, he does know exactly what he's doing, even though he may not realise the severity of his actions.

It doesn't sound as though he respects himself enough to tell the truth, so how can he remotely respect you?

He is in way too deep here and he may have been like this most of his life, so to think you'll be able to "change" or "help" him, i doubt very much.

Lying usually starts in childhood and if he's now an adult and is still lying to such an extent, he won't change.

If you choose to stay, you'll be spending your time with somebody who doesn't even really know what telling the truth means and doesn't really care about any consequences of lying.

He cannot register, because he doesn't know any different.

You should leave this relationship before you get in any deeper.

I'm sure you'd regret staying, if you were naive enough to do so.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (20 May 2018):

Dionee' agony auntThis guy definitely sounds like he has issues, and either way; he isn't for you to fix. My advice is that you do a Matrix move and dodge this bullet because this looks like a situation that you should not get yourself into. Honestly.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (19 May 2018):

Garbo agony auntHe could be both — compulsive and habitual liar. Compulsives lie out of anxiety that the true answer would somehow screw up the situation for someone involved it it, and that could turn into habitual because it relieves his anxiety. Lies are hard to remember so it’s easy to catch this.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (19 May 2018):

Your description depicts a pathological liar. It's not memory-loss, it's a compulsion to state falsehoods. The compulsion to lie unnecessarily IS a mental-disorder!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 May 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with CodeWarrior's advice

He is either a liar (and even lying about things that isn't important s- a HABITUAL liar) or he has mental issues (or BOTH). And either way, that is NOT something you want to get into. There will be no trust from your end as you will feel you HAVE to verify everything he tells you because he does seem to just lie about everything and anything.

If I were you I'd back away NOW before you get too involved.

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A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (19 May 2018):

Code Warrior agony auntI'm assuming that you're asking this out of some desire to help him if he's got mental problems? If so, then no, don't get involved. People aren't fixer uppers. It doesn't work that way. You don't have a diamond in the rough, you have a potential ball and chain. If you want to volunteer for a life of misery in the hopes that it will turn out well in the end, well that's up to you, but it's a pretty foolish thing to do IMO.

My advice: He's either a liar or has a mental problem. Either way it's bad for you. Leave this one behind.

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