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My husband is having an affair with a woman half his age and lies about it!

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2017)
A female United States age 51-59, *EnglandSR writes:

Married 19 years my husband 54 is having an affair with a girl who is 27 he sits with her in different areas of the city and goes to her house when we go to church he knows that I know and continues to lie about everything what should I do?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (13 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou should end things with him. Get talking to your lawyer as he is cheating on you which means he is making a mockery out off your marriage, and lying to you even though he knows you know what is going on.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't take you serious enough so he has sex with another women behind your back and lies to you? You deserve to be treated so much better than that. Don't allow him to walk all over you, show him just how much he has lost by leaving him. You are a strong women even though it might scare you to think off life without him, you will be much more happier in the end.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2017):

Someone mentioned that a good relationship in your 50s is hard to find but guess what ? A good relationship in your 20s 30s and 40s is also hard to find and you are currently in a very BAD relationship

No relationship is better than a bad relationships so why stay in a bad one ?

Get out stop being used. Too many men treat women this way . Be strong and stand up for yourself . There is nothing more beautiful than a confident and powerful woman in her 50s

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (8 December 2017):

TylerSage agony auntIt sucks that so many men tend to lie and cheat especially after years of marriage. I'm a man and I personally find it to be selfish, childish and repulsive. Plus he knows that you know.

First things first, gain support, tell a friend or seek therapy to help yourself through this mess.

Secondly, do some soul searching, to find out what you want your next step to be. Should you move on, should you two take a break, should you forgive him, should you make some changes, should move out, should you go to counselling, the list goes out.

I know a lot of people here may shout "divorce" but that's not always the easiest step especially seeing that you are in your 50s and good relationships can be hard to find.

I understand you must be hurting and feel like someone stabbed you in the heart and I'm very sorry for that. Sometimes men cheat on women because they know the woman will never leave them. I had a friend in high school who use to cheat on his girlfriend almost every week and then he'd tell her virtually with a grin on his face and then she'd forgive him....ALL THE TIME. The ONLY girls I've ever seem him show respect for even after high school are the ones who DO NOT put up with his crap. The ones willing to walk away once he slips up. Those are the ones he chases after and ends up having the longest relationships with.

I'm saying this because you mentioned that "he knows you know" and still continues to cheat. He doesn't sound very caring or respectful towards you. This may be because he sees you as the type to either not leave, grovel at his feel, or blame yourself for his wrong. Everyone deserves a second chance (not necessarily him) but you need to let him know that you aren't some toy to be played with, show him if you can, let him know that you WILL NOT tolerate his CRAP and disrespect. Be his partner, not his servant.

All the best.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (8 December 2017):

Garbo agony auntExamine your finances, see if you can survive on your own, if so get a lawyer and divorce him.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (7 December 2017):

See a good divorce lawyer

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2017):

Denizen agony auntWhat do you think you should do? Do you want to ignore it? Do you want to confront him and try to patch things up? Or do you want to get a divorce and a fresh start?

The choice is yours.

Being deceived cuts deep. It is hard for people to get over that kind of thing. You might want to go and get support from a professional counsellor.

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