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Should I pursue him or let it go? Help?

Tagged as: Long distance, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2018)
A female Canada age 30-35, *andixoxo writes:

So I met on a  weekend trip with friends and met a guy. Our connection was amazing. My friends and I noticed he kept staring at me and then we eventually started talking. Our connection was pretty deep. Then things turned sexual.  Im living here in Canada. The weekend getaway was in Canada. He lives in the US. We text back and forth he will send me respectful selfies ill let him how good looking he is. ill send respectful selfies too he will say how pretty I am. Im 28 hes 33. I know its a stretch but I dont know if I should pursue him. I cannot tell if he likes me or not or should I let it go. Usually I message him first but we will have a nice conversation. If I dont message for a few days he messages me.

He will say things like

"I was thinking about you" or

"You were on my mind"

"We should of taken pics together before I left"

I cant tell if he likes me or not I need help. Should I pursue? or let it go?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

I think you simply made a new friend. Perhaps he has a place to crash if he decides to comeback to Canada, and can avoid the cost of a hotel.

Sweetheart, be careful of people you meet visiting from other countries. They can be quite charming, and genuinely appreciate making your acquaintance. Sometimes they will maintain contact with citizens to make friends mainly for the purpose of having a place to stay; and having a local who could shave-off a lot of the cost from their next trip.

You can maintain contact and continue exchanging messages.

Refrain from offering anyone naughty picks, and careful about sexting.

If you want to know if a guy is really into you, he will make his way back again and again. He will not take advantage of you in any way.

You shouldn't be offering shelter to strangers you meet on trips; until you know something of their background. If he's married, has a girlfriend, and whether his motives are truly honorable. I've met dozens of wonderful people in my travels. I'm more cautious than I used to be; because people tend to be more clever at taking advantage than they did long ago. One of their best targets are single lonely females.

I don't think a few phone-chats and a meeting over a weekend means much. I need a lot more than that to hold my interest.

I think you fall to easy, and the comments about the guy made by your friends was taken too seriously. Stares and messages don't prove much.

Let's see how much he goes out of his way to see you again. In-person!!! Without asking if he can stay at your place! Will he invite you to come to the States first? If you come, stay at a hotel. Let things grow gradually.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (5 February 2018):

Ciar agony auntI'd say he was attracted to you but if he can go several days without hearing from my guess is he's not serious about you.

My advice is you not invest anything in this. Chat when he contacts you but don't seek him out and don't let things get any more sexual than they've been - in fact I think you should tone that down.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (5 February 2018):

Garbo agony auntHe likes you. The issue is which way. Sexually obviously, so I would minimize all that, particularly sending pictures like that. You want to pursue him, sure, to find out if there is any future with him, and if so what kind. His age suggests that he maybe looking to settle, so find out if that is so. Another thing to be careful is that often times things do not match up between in person and online. The fact that you clicked in person is a great plus.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 February 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntOF COURSE he likes you. Are you just looking for a confidence boost when people confirm this?

The question you SHOULD be asking is "what future is there in this relationship"? Would one of you be prepared to relocate later on so you could be together? LDRs are notoriously difficult to maintain. Perhaps that is why he is only texting and not suggesting meeting up again.

If YOU feel this relationship could have a future, then perhaps you need to say something? If you give it a go and it doesn't work out, then fair enough. However, there is nothing worse than wondering "what if" at some later stage.

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