| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 12 March 2015: The more you say, the more I regret my advice. Not that I was wrong, but that my advice may be inappropriate to your situation / personality.
Here is an updated bit of advice. If you are determined to maintain friendships with both of your exes... (read in full...)
Why does every girl I like only want to be friends?
Q. So what should I do about my terrible luck with girls? Why does every girl I like or show interest in chose not to date, too busy, or just want to be friends. For example there was a shop I worked at, girl A would come by everyday, never bought a...
A. 11 March 2015: Looks like a short string of bad luck to me. The only thing I would recommend is that you close the deal sooner. Most of these girls have used you. You need to cut that short. Ask for a low commitment date early. Coffee and chat is all you ... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 2 March 2015: OP asks, "I also don't know what is the right way to maintain a platonic friendship with an ex while already in a comitted relationship."
It can't be done and here is the reason. Because there is history. Sexual history. Shared memories... (read in full...)
Aside from telling his ex to really stop it, what else can we do to make stop calling him?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I've posted here before about my boyfriend's ex who has been contacting him on a regular basis. It started with her grandmother being in the hospital in October, then her grandmother's passing in November - my boyfrien...
A. 20 February 2015: On the other hand for a mechanic you can trust . . . ... (read in full...)
My husband wears his stinky socks, and wears them and wears them and wears them!
Q. My husband wears his thermal underwear for 3 or more days in a row and after wearing them all day, will also wear them to bed. He will also wear his stinky socks and take them off and leave them by the bed and put them back on in the morning. I ...
A. 5 February 2015: Well if the feet stink and the body does not, there is a fungus among us. Get some spray for that and force him to change socks twice a day. Serious health issue. ... (read in full...)
Why did I dream about him after all this time?
Q. I used to be friends with this guy online for about three years. He was a nice friend and a great way to pass time, and we grew closer, though in a strictly platonic sense. We were very similar in personalities, headstrong, stubborn and as a result ...
A. 5 February 2015: Because this has been sitting for a few days I'll give you some general dream advice.
If you have a dream that stands out, or that repeats there is a possibility that your subconscious mind is trying to communicate with your conscious mind. A drea... (read in full...)
My husband wears his stinky socks, and wears them and wears them and wears them!
Q. My husband wears his thermal underwear for 3 or more days in a row and after wearing them all day, will also wear them to bed. He will also wear his stinky socks and take them off and leave them by the bed and put them back on in the morning. I ...
A. 3 February 2015: Certainly there is something else. She hasn't been able to get him out of his thermal underwear. That means sex is pretty infrequent. Sleeping together is not enough of an incentive to get him into a shower. That means there is no desire for ... (read in full...)
I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me but I'm afraid it will scare her away
Q. It's a long story so be patient with me. I met C when she was 17 and I was 25. I had no idea how old she was because she moved in the same friendship circles I did. We went on a few dates and there was this spark. I fell for her instantly. She was ...
A. 26 January 2015: Sounds great! Can you wait another 5 years? It might take that.
FA... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of one year, is addicted to skype sex chat
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for lil over one year, we spent alot of time to gether, went on trips, had a very fun snd relaxed relationship. Im 28 years old and he just turned 27. He had girl friends before me but never had sexual relationship. ...
A. 26 January 2015: Well you accept that he has a long term addiction. That's good. You think he can get over that on his own in three weeks. That's not realistic.
As to the advice you need based on where you are right now. Look up the stages of grief. You are... (read in full...)
Dating a month he has to go away. At first he was ok and now he's pulled back!
Q. I met a guy on a dating website and we've been dating for a month. We both felt an instant connection and it's something I havent experienced before. We click really well, we share the same sense of humor and really enjoy spending time together. ...
A. 26 January 2015: Sorry it was a Sham. You are right. It's better to be done with him early than to spend time with someone who is willing to date you while seriously dating another. It is not a good sign of his character.
FA... (read in full...)
Dating a month he has to go away. At first he was ok and now he's pulled back!
Q. I met a guy on a dating website and we've been dating for a month. We both felt an instant connection and it's something I havent experienced before. We click really well, we share the same sense of humor and really enjoy spending time together. ...
A. 26 January 2015: It could be a lot of things. He may have gotten some advice that is helping him to see things in a more realistic light. If he is talking to coworkers who have worked out of country before, their experiences could be more helpful than his vague ... (read in full...)
Does my husband even love me?
Q. How can you tell if your husband still loves you? We've been together for 11 years, met young, have two kids. I feel like whenever we have arguments my husband gets very defensive...it's like I can't bring anything up anymore without worrying how it ...
A. 21 December 2014: "You should treat your wife the SAME way you treat your kids.
Wrong wrong wrong, and the root of your problem. He does not want to be your child and he wants more from your relationship with him than a child can give.
"I do that with him! I'... (read in full...)
Does my husband even love me?
Q. How can you tell if your husband still loves you? We've been together for 11 years, met young, have two kids. I feel like whenever we have arguments my husband gets very defensive...it's like I can't bring anything up anymore without worrying how it ...
A. 16 December 2014: The first thing you need to realize is that you have over the years added a bunch of definitions of love that he has never heard of. Your letter is full of them, they have this form; If you love some one then wouldn't you . . . . .
Essentially you ... (read in full...)
Can males and females really just be friends?
Q. This seems silly, but I honestly wonder this. There was a few posts on a social media site that claimed while females will look at a male as just being a friend, the same is not true for the male. The male, supposedly, almost always has some level ...
A. 4 December 2014: WooF
... (read in full...)
Would it be weird if I waited a whole year to date just her, knowing I like her? Or do I date other girls in the interim?
Q. There's a girl I really like in my school, (I'm a freshman in high school) and she likes me too, but her parents won't let her date until next year when she turns sixteen. What should I do? Should I date other girls? Would it be weird if I waited a...
A. 27 November 2014: I'm going to depart from Honey's advice a bit. Not that her advice is wrong, but Let's look at it from her parents point of view. They have a rule that is not all that unusual, no dating until 16. One of the reasons for that rule is to keep Teens ... (read in full...)
My wife won't have sex with me anymore and won't tell me why not
Q. I think the title says it all. We have been married for 7 years, together for 10 years, and the sex went from twice a night (which is normal in a honeymoon phase) to never over the course of 2 years. Over the last 5 years we have not had se...
A. 23 November 2014: Time for the 180. You've wasted enough of your life with this. If that part of the relationship is over, Then the relationship is over. Get your finances lined up. Get in shape. You are going to need to be ready to be back on the market. 5 ... (read in full...)
We are getting married in a year and already I feel my sex life is terrible even though my B/f tells me once a month is the norm with couples!
Q. My fiancee and I are going through a rut. We are together 2 years and moved in 2 months ago. Before we moved in it was hard to have sex as we were either at my parents or at the appartment he shared with friends. The only time we could have sex is ...
A. 7 November 2014: Give the ring back. To an extent there is no such thing as normal. Every couple does what works for them.But there are limits. For example less than 10 times a year is considered sexless. That is what your guy wants. Most people consider that ... (read in full...)
How do you know when a man likes you?
Q. I would appreciAte any opinions. How do you know when a guy likes you? I know this should be pretty strAight forward but m a little bit confused. I was married for more then 20 years, now divorced and guys send mixed signals. Im not sure if ...
A. 4 November 2014: That's a green light from a lazy communicator. He is a bit slack about staying active in communicating, and he isn't yet sure how much communication you want. So he gave you permission to call.
So in summary he likes you. But he is prob... (read in full...)
What does the word 'cute' mean to guys? To me, it means 'ugly but acceptable'!
Q. Dear Auntz Me and my new boyfriend started dating a week ago and he keeps saying that im cute! I have always told myself that i will never date any guy that thinks i am cute, but here i am. I wish he would use the word beautiful instea...
A. 4 November 2014: I got into this on another forum. I said women should not call men cute or adorable because that is for people who are much younger than you. I find Cute to be the Junior high version of beautiful. So I would say at your age you want to be ... (read in full...)
How can I erase what I've done and become friends with this girl?
Q. ok so were the 1st 9 weeks into school and have developed unexpressed feelings for the new girl. she is very pretty and shy!!! now that u know a bit lets start from the beginning of the year i talked alot of crap on the other guys because im the ...
A. 3 November 2014: It appears that you have some trouble expressing yourself. You hide behind bravado and bluster. You also tend to rely on technology for communication. Your best bet would be to work on yourself.
FA... (read in full...)
Can steroids and ice be reason for cheating?
Q. Hi I'm going through a tough experience. My partner and I were in an amazing rship for almost 2 years everything was perfect we were best friends and lovers n I couldn't fault him and then things changed n he was snorting ice and taking steroids.. ...
A. 30 October 2014: Ice (crystal methamphetamine) is highly addictive and often used with sex. I'd be worried about as future relapse. Honey is right "The probability that he will start to use again... is VERY huge."
FA... (read in full...)
Why has he turned off sex, with me, yet initially he was enthusiastic?
Q. Good day everyone!! Im in need of some advice. Im a healthy 36 yr old woman who is engaged to a 32 yr old man that I of course love to death. We have been together for just over 2 years now. And sad to say already having problems in the bedroom. W...
A. 26 October 2014: End it now. This is pattern perfect set up for a low drive partner. BTW many couples have sex every day for decades not just months.
Brutal honesty is he gave you everything you asked for until he got you hooked. Now he is trying to cond... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the pre-cum that occurs, despite my best efforts to deal with fact I'm easily aroused by pretty girls?
Q. hi, i am single man, 29 years old. i never had a sex or even any kind of relationship. please i don't know why i easily get erection. so, i got this idea— when i see a nice girl or think about sex, i relax my body and my penis just to prevent erec...
A. 26 October 2014: New guy,
It is really up to you but, Why no relationships?
There is probably no way to stop or decrease the pre-cum reaction. All you could do is wear something absorbent enough to deal with it. There shouldn't be enough fluid to be a serious ... (read in full...)
I think my friend is trying to get pregnant by another friend of mine without him knowing -- do I tell him?
Q. Hi people, Im in a very very awkward situation and any help would be greatly greatly appreciated!! (everyone is 22 Y/O) A little background: My friend who I will call Jane and I hav been friends for a little over 6 years. She and her Boyfrie...
A. 24 October 2014: Jane who is 22 has been working full time for 5 years since she was 17. She has been dating John since she was 16. John doesn't want to settle down and have a career until he is 30, but he has been monogamous since he was 16. And That kiddies is ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal part of aging for men?
Q. My spouse is a few years older. We have an active sex life, but however, there are times that he has a hard time reaching an orgasm. Is this a normal part of aging for men? Is there any lubricant or any recommendation that will assist him in ...
A. 23 October 2014: Viagra or Testosterone will not delay ejaculation, but a prostrate infection would. Testosterone therapy can cause BPH you need to watch that.
FA... (read in full...)
Is this a normal part of aging for men?
Q. My spouse is a few years older. We have an active sex life, but however, there are times that he has a hard time reaching an orgasm. Is this a normal part of aging for men? Is there any lubricant or any recommendation that will assist him in ...
A. 23 October 2014: Foxy,
That's an interesting question. You are right Oral sex is not likely to speed things up. With age there can be a lessening of sensation. The same potions that help women will help men. but . . . .
That is probably not the best place to... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have romantic feelings for lots of people?
Q. Is it normal to have strong feelings for many people (like ten) at the same time (guys girls everyone)? My best friend thinks it's kind of slutty but I just seem to like (have romantic feelings towards) lots of people is there something wrong with ...
A. 22 October 2014: There goes that normal word again.
When a question starts with "is it normal . . ." and ends with "is there something wrong with me?" it usually means that you are making the false assumption that everyone should be average. So your friends are ... (read in full...)
Could it be men see hurt in my body language, and that's why I am still single?
Q. Dear Cupid,I really want to have a friend for the new year but no one seems to be looking my way if they are I can't tell.I have been single for many years about 13 and now I want companionship.I just turned 43 yesterday I feel and look young I ...
A. 15 October 2014: I'm sorry you have celebrated a birthday in such a sad way. Without knowing you much better than we possibly can we can't know what it is that is keeping men away from you. It is an incredibly complex interaction and changes with every person. ... (read in full...)
How can I look thinner, feel thinner, and have my clothes fit better, yet still weigh the same thing?
Q. I have some questions about weight. I was on a medication that I thought was causing me weight gain. (You'll find out why I said 'thought' when you read the rest). My stomach was looking bloated, and my legs were getting rather celluity. I'm 5'6", ...
A. 14 October 2014: Yes Muscle weighs more than fat. It also burns calories rather than storing them. There are much better methods of determining your health than your weight or BMI. For example my Gym will do a body composition for me 4 times a year. This gives ... (read in full...)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. Is that a turn-off?
Q. Hello my question is pretty simple...is being a virgin at an older age weird or a turn-off? The reason why I ask is because I read online that a some men are turned-off because of the awkwardness during intercourse due to not having any experience. ...
A. 3 October 2014: Considering that the average age of first marriage for women in your country is 27, 23 year old virgins seem to me to be inevitable. You are 5 years away form a legally committed romantic / sexual relationship. You have plenty of time to get ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend choked me in an argument and I'm extremely disturbed. What do I do?
Q. I got into a silly tussle/fight with my fiancé a few months ago. She had been moody and snappy with me and her parents all day. At the end of the night I got fed up with her horrible attitude and said I was leaving for the night. As I s...
A. 9 September 2014: I have already answered this question on another forum. I am dismayed that you haven't put this person out of your life yet.
Sorry Gals, I have to vote against calling any domestic abuse hotline. Since our OP is male it will just result in his ... (read in full...)
Why is it easier texting than talking face to face?
Q. why is it easier texting and communicating via social media/email etc than talking face to face with some people? could be anyone someone you have recently met, or someone you already know. things are awkward face to face, or their maybe sile...
A. 8 September 2014: oops, I made a poor assumption that you were much younger than me. You are listed as in my age group.
OK so an honest answer to your question. The main difference between texting and face to face talking is that in face to face talking you can'... (read in full...)
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
Q. Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
A. 29 August 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/10-ways-a-guy-can-get-himself-kicked.html
I'm really not sure what happened to the title but perhaps some one will fix it
FA... (read in full...)
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
Q. Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
A. 29 August 2014: O K I've written it. As soon as it clears customs I'll post a link to it in here. I'm hoping I will get a few additions as well.
FA... (read in full...)
Is this starting to become a love triangle?
Q. Is this starting to become a love triangle? A couple of years ago, I met a married couple who became my friends (the woman more than the man). I too am married. With time, I found my friend's husband increasingly attractive, and noticed he is so...
A. 29 August 2014: It is normal to lose interest in your husband when you are in an emotional affair with another man. We call it the affair fog. You can't see the world clearly. Wise owl E's advice is exactly what you need.
FA... (read in full...)
I don't know how to reply to this guy's comments
Q. I've been chatting with this guy online. I'm a horrible flirt, so I'm not sure how to reply to his latest message. He was telling me that he likes going to the gym, I said that was cool and he replied by asking me if I wanted him to train me. What ...
A. 29 August 2014: Chatting on line is a lot like texting. At best half communication, very easy to hide the truth (I'm really a Labrador retriever). Anyway for casual flirting no problem. If you want to get to know someone you have to go beyond that. maybe to ... (read in full...)
I like messing around with this guy but don't want to have full sex with him
Q. Hi. Just to note, my age is I will be 21 in a few weeks. So I have known this guy since we both went to the same school for a year age 15/16 (him being in the year above me) and during that time we were casual friends, he was a cool loner type who...
A. 29 August 2014: Wow that's a lot of information for an anonymous post. I feel like we've talked for weeks. Part of that is that I know a person who is autistic at a similar level to you. She also has a lot of trouble reading emotions. What I'm going to try to ... (read in full...)
High school Homecoming: I need advice, which girl might be the best choice to ask?
Q. Hey people of DC, Forge is back again... with more high school "fun." Ready to help? The issue is Homecoming. By far the biggest school event I've been to. The dance, pep rally, football game, you know, eventful stuff. I have time on this, than...
A. 29 August 2014: I seem to be a little on the other side of the fence from most of the advice so I think a bit of clarification is in order, and Should be helpful for Forge. Back when I rode my dinosaur to school. Dating was going out with girls and getting to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 29 August 2014: Well, I'm pretty sure the OP has abandoned us. I could throw around some blame for that but chances are it is just a typical post and forget that happens here so often.
If no one objects I'd like to hijack the thread and chase down a tang... (read in full...)
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
Q. Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
A. 29 August 2014: I agree a guy should write it. I'd be willing to contribute. But I'm not sure I could do it all. Sure I have a lot of experience, but ten seems daunting today. Maybe if I got code warrior, cerberus and wiseowle to colaborate. . . ... (read in full...)
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
Q. Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
A. 29 August 2014: Nice Job Cindy!
Of course people will always want to add to a list. I'll just pick my favorites.
# 5 Yes we all want miss right, we don't want miss Always right.
#6 This is a pretty good explanation of the mothering thing. So easily a pro... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 29 August 2014: I'd just like to quickly repeat the advice to look into the love languages book / website. This really is at the heart of OP's question. He needs the information as much as she does.
FA... (read in full...)
High school Homecoming: I need advice, which girl might be the best choice to ask?
Q. Hey people of DC, Forge is back again... with more high school "fun." Ready to help? The issue is Homecoming. By far the biggest school event I've been to. The dance, pep rally, football game, you know, eventful stuff. I have time on this, than...
A. 28 August 2014: Honestly Forge, you have got this all wrong. Your best bet for homecoming is to ask the girl out that you have had a few friendly dates with. Since you have neglected to man up and buy some ice cream with any of these gals all summer you are in no ... (read in full...)
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