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... Send *agwood a private message | | | *agwood's profile:I’m in my mid 40’s. Had a great but tempestuous childhood and really had a wild time in my early 20's. Been married once and had numerous relationships, the longest being 14 years. Sometimes I ended them, sometimes I got dumped! I’ve cheated and been cheated on! I've have restored my principles and values and believe in honesty and integrity and lots of love, passion & spice with the right lady. I’ve talked to friends and a counsellor about my personal issues, worked them through and learnt a lot so maybe I can help someone who's feeling lousy or who's a little lost. At least I’ll try… |
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My affair left me an emotional wreck! Should I go back to my husband?
Q. im in trouble!! and need advice..i met this guy at work and i felt really close to him and admire him when he told me how he treat his wife and on the other hand he admire me because i am a very good wife/mother and had a very succesesful career, ...
A. 21 March 2007: You were obviously not happy with your husband in the first place so why go back to him? I suggest you take some time to think what you really want in a relationship and learn to love yourself and become emotionally independent. Having affairs is ... (read in full...)
If someone you love wants space and time away...do they really love you?
Q. When someone tells you that they need a little time and space to themselves, can they really love you? If you love someone don't you want to talk to them and be with them? How are you to cope with just not calling them and hoping that they wil...
A. 21 March 2007: Sounds like you are strong and level headed so I have no doubt that you will come through this with no problem. As you say she's pushing you away because she's probably having a tough time coping not being with you, perhaps she became emotionally ... (read in full...)
If someone you love wants space and time away...do they really love you?
Q. When someone tells you that they need a little time and space to themselves, can they really love you? If you love someone don't you want to talk to them and be with them? How are you to cope with just not calling them and hoping that they wil...
A. 20 March 2007: If you love someone then you'll respect their freedom and space. You don't own them. Love is about trust, desire and intimacy, NOT want or need. When you both reach the same stage in a relationship you'll know it and being apart will be ok, you ... (read in full...)
What do this little gestures mean ?
Q. I get on well with this guy at work. When we are in his car going for lunch, sometimes he touches my knee in joking conversation. Then the other day when we were taking he touched my nose with his finger, you know like a quick gentle stroke. What ...
A. 20 March 2007: This is flirting. It may be just casual but it could lead to something more passionate so be aware! You're both in relationships so there is no point in taking it further. Cheating just leads to BIG problems so stay well away from the temptation. If ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty and confused about my ex girlfriend, shes constantly in my thoughts, I have a new girlfriend but really feel that true happiness is in the past...
Q. Dear Cupid, About six years ago I broke up with my girlfriend of five years. Since then I have had 3 girlfriends of various seriousness. I have recently purchased a house with my current girlfriend of two years. However, since Christm...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi. Sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this, just try and take it easy and chill, getting anxious is certainly not going to get you anywhere. I know it’s easier to say than do but you can do some relaxation exercises and maybe some meditation. ... (read in full...)
I constantly worry that people dont like me! Whats wrong with me ?
Q. i posted the previous question about driving guys away with my insecurities-i have another huge problem.i think that people dont like me so i don have many fiends.when u get 2 know me im really bubbbly and a nice person, but i think i come accross ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi Anon. Sound like you're going through a little insecurity crisis, this happens to all of us so don't think that you're crazy or anything. You have to love & except yourself for who you are and not worry about what other people think. Maybe ... (read in full...)
What goes through a guy’s head when he stares at a female’s breasts?
Q. What goes through a guy’s head when he stares at a female’s breasts?...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi Anon, Is this a serious question? Probably different guys would have different thoughts... Nice pair.. too small...too big... perky...saggy.. love to get my hands on them.. etc. etc. But I guess it depends on the boobs, who's they are and the ... (read in full...)
I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks! I don't want to marry him yet I can't call it off! What should I do?
Q. I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks time and i feel sick about the whole thing. His parents are chuffed to bits. My son hates him and their family. I cannot get anyone to have my son for one night while we get to the venue, which is 50 miles ...
A. 19 March 2007: Sorry to hear about your turmoil. Are you sure about you're feelings or could it just be nerves or the thought of giving up the single life style? Maybe you should talk to a counsellor right away! Don't make a big mistake by marrying this person ... (read in full...)
I am having an affair with a married woman from work. Is anyone else in a situation similar and if so, how do you deal with the guilt?
Q. I have been having an affair for 4 years with a married woman at work, We meet up about once every 4 weeks. We are very careful but each time I feel guilty but can't stop as the physical side is good. I'd really like to know if anyone else is i...
A. 16 March 2007: Hi Anon. Having an affair is wrong so guilt is one of the side effects you choose to live with! Are you married too? If so you're also cheating on your wife. In my experience these things always end badly with all parties getting hurt and landing up ... (read in full...)
What should I do? The last thing I ever want to do is be untrue or hurt my wife.
Q. I have been with married for 4 years and together for 8 years. I love my wife, but she can be very selfish and self centered. I have a female friend at work that is on the verge of a divorce. I have been her shoulder to lean on, because she...
A. 16 March 2007: Sounds like you're starting to get emotionally involved. My advice is to set very clear boundaries for both of you. It's not worth having an affair, it's not honest and she's probably on the rebound anyway so she's not showing her true feelings. If ... (read in full...)
He wants me, then he doesn't! How can I deal with his indecisiveness?
Q. Ok, this is the second time that I am writing this same post, and I've decided to make it short. Heres the story, my ex broke up with me last year and left me absolutely in the gutters, I cried, I suffered, i tried to move on but failed, I became ...
A. 16 March 2007: Move on, it's over! This issue is his and not yours. It seems you know what you want but he does not so you'll always live in limbo if you carry on the contact between you. Make new friends and forget about people who mess with your head like this! ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to be excited by being seen having sex??
Q. Is it wierd to be so excited about being seen having sex? I m now to bored to do it in private. Also, are there laws against it in a parked car on your own property??...
A. 5 March 2007: If you're bored having sex in private then you're probably doing it with the wrong person! You probably have some sexual fantasies, as we all do, but there is a big difference about fantasizing and carrying them out. Personally I've also had these ... (read in full...)
He was my first boyfriend and I would love to get back with him, he says he likes me but as a friend for now. What do you think?
Q. Please somebody help me here! i am driving myself crazy!! I'm 15. This is the story and i will try shorten it as much as i can. I was dating a guy for 2 months, he dumped me a week before valentines day. i was sooo upset i literally felt l...
A. 5 March 2007: As Eve says time to move on! You can't be his friend if you have feelings for him so a clean break is much better anyway. If you keep in contact the hurt feelings only get worse. Remember love is a verb... it's something we feel. We decide if we're ... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate, insecure and jealous as she is more experienced than me, how do I stop feeling this way?
Q. hey, jus wanted to know im 20 years old and have just got my 1st gf, my girfriend has 2 other guys 1 for 2months n one for 2wks both cheated on her,the 2wk realationship wos more of a physical relationship which bothered me slightly, shes also had a ...
A. 5 March 2007: Hi Anon. Well done your first girlfriend! Nice experience so enjoy it. Everyone has a past and she does not seem to be promiscuous or have much baggage, in fact quite the opposite so you should be proud of her. I guess maybe you feel a little ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for Urine to pass at the point of ejaculation ??
Q. IS it normal if urine follows the semen after ejaculation? Not just a small proportion, but something equal to when we go to piss? ...
A. 5 March 2007: I've seen this with some women during orgasm (which is quite normal)but not heard of it with guys. It does not sound like a serious problem but I would suggest a quick visit to your doctor to put your mind at rest. Take care... (read in full...)
I have been burned bad in my past relationships, how can I start trusting again?
Q. I have been burned real bad in my last past relationship and now I have met a new girl and have very strong feelings for her but I am not sure on how to trust her. How do I start trusting again?...
A. 5 March 2007: Hi, know how you feel but to move on and have a full relationship you have to trust. Any relationship is a risk and to take risks we have to have a good gut feeling and basically this should give you that feeling of trust too. The persons past ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...
Q. Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...
A. 3 March 2007: Hi Andrew! Well done, this site has been a real life saver for me! I've seen that we are so many out there that sometimes lose our way in life or just need a little guidance. We get advice from so many different angles it puts things in perspective. ... (read in full...)
Do all men like pert boobs ?
Q. Hay - this is a question mainly for the blokes. What are your thoughts on boobs, i mean is it really that important if there not completely pert? Cause mine aren't and im really scared to take my top off infront of men let alone have sex topless ...
A. 3 March 2007: Hi. It's difficult to say without actualy seeing your boobs but I'm sure they are fine! No one is perfect and if all a guy wants you for is your pert boobs then he's not worth seeing anyway. Personally I prefer ladies with slightly larger boobs, ... (read in full...)
Is it time I moved on? I don't feel the same for him and it makes no sense to continue our relationship. Can anyone else relate?
Q. Should I move on? I've been with my partner for over 4 years. We don't live together and have no children together. I've been very confused over my feelings for him over the last 8 months. I don't find him attractive anymore, we don't share the ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi Anon. Yes most definitely move on right away! The longer you keep the poor guy on a string the more hurt he will be and the more guilt you will feel. You are no longer attracted to him and you don’t have any common interests so I can’t understand ... (read in full...)
He's going to a bike rally and I don't think its really the place to go if you're in a relationship. I'm really not ok with this, what can I do?
Q. i told my b/f i am not ok with him going to a bike rally for a week with what goes on..women walking around barely naked acting pervocatively at night, dancing on bars naked sometimes, flashing..it just doesnt seem like the place to go if married or ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi. It sounds like you're insecure about yourself and the relationship. As other aunts have said you don't own your partner and they should be able to do what they want as long as it's within moral boundaries. The more you trust him the better the ... (read in full...)
I had a brief affair with a married man, he's avoiding me now... how do I get him back?
Q. i am a 29 year old career woman, have known this guy for a few months, through work, ( i work in HQ level and he works in district level, and our department recently has been doing collaboration with him, which he is the developer and i am the ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi. Not much really to add to what Askeve has already said. He used you now it's over. You made a mistake by doing this with a married man so learn from it. In the future make sure before getting intimate with someone you know that they are ... (read in full...)
I have been with my girlfriend a year now and although we have sex I have never made her cum. Any advice?
Q. hey there:) well... this is like my 1st message so it feels kinda weird. Right then... Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a bit and we have sex alot.. alot alot lol. but yeah i have never made her cum... she says she love...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi. Personally I find it far more satisfying when the woman has an orgasm before I do so I can understand the way you feel. However woman are a little different and don't always have to reach climax to enjoy the sex. But this still leaves you ... (read in full...)
She's married... should I tell her how I feel?
Q. hi i have this woman i my life and i really like her more than friends.the trouble is she is married should i tell her how i feel.any advice would be good....
A. 28 February 2007: Stay away! Don't even think about it! Affairs are dishonest and only lead to hurt on all sides! Find a nice lady who is unattached and charm her instead!... (read in full...)
I've agreed to stay with her but I don't know how to rebuild the trust.
Q. My partner recently cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. she said it meant nothing and she was drunk, at first she denied it and when confronted with overwhelming evidence she still tried to lie about it. Yes the cheating hurt but so did the lying. ...
A. 25 February 2007: Hi Anon. Sorry to hear that you've been cheated on, it obviously does not make you feel good about yourself. This happened to me once but the lady told me about it herself and our relationship was slightly different so I did forgive her but I found ... (read in full...)
Both married to other people and having an affair. Is this just a disaster waiting to happen?
Q. This might take me a few to sort through,to the actual question. Few basics,I am married ,been married 19 years now,been through alot,husband is 10 years older then me,have 2 boys ,both grown and gone now,Husband has cheated on me 3 times in th...
A. 17 February 2007: Tough situation! Is it wrong? Well if you're both decieving your partners then I'll have to say yes, it's not normaly accepted behaviour. How do you feel about it; guilty? I know the passion in an affair is great, almost addictive. It seems fine for ... (read in full...)
Ex bf (whom I love) has asked me to do a 3-some with him and another girl! Should I or shouldn't I?
Q. query on threesomes. never been there but often curious. My ex boyfriend (who i'm still madly in love with) has asked me to have a threesome with the woman he left me for (they are no longer together). My first response was an emphatic "never". I ...
A. 17 February 2007: Hi Anon. If you still love the guy and he just wants you for sex then you should not even be talking to him never mind considering having a threesome! It will just make you feel worse about yourself and he'll probably lose any respect for you that ... (read in full...)
I don't understand his sudden changes in his behavior. What's going on with him?
Q. Please help! I've been working with a guy I have had a crush on for over three years. We've always flirted, had lunch together and talked about almost everything! Everyone in our law office told me that he liked me... but he had a girlfriend at ...
A. 17 February 2007: Hi Anon. Sorry to say so but it's seems that his interest level has dropped! You're obviously a principled and well balanced person and managed to keep your distance while he was still with his GF so you have done nothing wrong and should be proud ... (read in full...)
What do I do here? Do I stick with him or let him go for now?
Q. I am desperate for help. I am depressed and feel lost. I will try my best to make it short. I met a man 1 year ago, who was still living with his wife, and they had a very young baby. He fell out of love with her and was contemplating le...
A. 17 February 2007: Sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed! He is stringing you along and not committing so that is the problem. Let me give you my point of view, and I've been in the same situation except I was the man with a mistress. He's got his cake and he's ... (read in full...)
I like this girl so much but I'm so mixed up in my head. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Q. I was just wondering if u offered relationship help, because I've got myself worked up over a girl, and i really dont know what to do. I started a new job last year, and one of my old friends from school worked there too. I got to know every...
A. 13 February 2007: Hi Nay, looks like you're in love mate! But the problem is she's got issues. Firstly she cheated on her boyfriend with your mate and then she's dangling you on a string! Is this what you want for yourself? This will only end up hurting you more and ... (read in full...)
she is the one and I hate myself for being who I was how can I prove it??
Q. Right where do i start im martin 34 and my girlfriend ended the relationship nearly 3 weeks ago now. She ended it because she didnt trust me and i lied about so many things. firstly i lied about having a job i had lost it but didnt tell i had los...
A. 13 February 2007: Hi hurtingman. Well you've probably been lying because you're pretending to be someone that you're not and have low self esteem. Good news is that you're looking into counselling. But don't just look, do it! Your girlfriend is looking for a strong, ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she said she still "needs" me in her life, even although she has a new boyfriend. Am I being used here?
Q. Should I continue to help my ex-girlfriend? Sorry if this is long, but... We were seeing each other for about 4 months, yet one of the months she was at home (in the USA). We were very close, and I did alot for her - help her with uni work, f...
A. 11 February 2007: Hi Anon. It's your choice! If you can live with being just friends then fine but reading your question it seems your feelings for this lady run much deeper than friendship. In my personal experience it's very difficult to move on in your own life if ... (read in full...)
I am still so damn confused!!!
Q. This is to thank those of you who took the time to email me back. I haven't had sex with this married man. It just seems as though he and his wife live seperate lives. She does her thing he does his? I really don't know if I should just dump him ...
A. 11 February 2007: Hi Pam. Well let me give you the male perspective. Based on my own experience as long as you are willing to get into a relationship with this man before he ends it with his wife then he'll probably never leave her. We men like to "have our cake and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend seems so distant with me, what can I do to make things better?
Q. Ok Ive hit rock bottom once again. I cant sleep, eat, if this aint depression i dont no what is. Nothing helps anymore and i can't seem to do anything about it. My GF over the past week has gone from i need space to my feelings have changed for...
A. 10 February 2007: Hi Jiser, sorry to hear you're suffering so much! It's terrible when someone blows hot & cold and you don't know where you stand! My advice would be to send her one(last) letter, hand written and words carefully chosen. Explain how you feel about ... (read in full...)
I have lost the perfect girl for me!!
Q. I just lost the perfect girl... for me anyway. What do i do? I have dated and lived with me ex for 3 1/2 years. We have moved From Atlanta to Miami and back to Atlanta. When we lived in Miami (where i grew up) she was unhappy and then the news cam...
A. 8 February 2007: Hi Chrispy, check this link. Lots of other guys in the same situation. Take care
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i--find-it-hard-to-move-on.html... (read in full...)
My husband took everything we had - trust, love, and ruined it by sleeping with a Thai bar girl...
Q. I had a very happy marriage until about three months ago. My husband went on a business trip to Thailand and visited a go-go bar where he had protected sex with a bar girl. He got back and confessed the very same night but said he only had oral sex ...
A. 8 February 2007: I agree with Dr. Pete. For your husband to confess immediately on his return he must have been feeling sincerely guilty. Millions of married men all over the world do this, some more than once and never tell their wives, even if they love them. So ... (read in full...)
I really want to tell her how I feel? Should I risk it?
Q. Hi, I'm 21, 22 in next few days and i feel like I'm old - really old lol. Im a virgin and I'm not too proud about it... anyway i met up with a girl at the racing last year and got on well with her and although we got close nothing really happened as ...
A. 6 February 2007: Hi buddy. Take the risk and tell her how you feel! Just make sure it comes out correctly and that you express the desire to be with her and not the need to have her... in other words don't smother her. Just do it once and wait for the response. If ... (read in full...)
You don't know what you've got until it's gone! I didn't want to commit her in the past but now I think she's the love of my life! But she's engaged now! What shall I do?
Q. I started dating this girl about three years, everything went fine but she wanted a commitment that I didn’t want to rush into. Then one night she turned up with another guy at the pub. I was completely shattered. Because of my pride, I didn’t say ...
A. 6 February 2007: Hi Breezer. We guys are stupid mate! Only realising afterwards what we want! The same thing happened to me and only when she broke it off after 5 years did I start to feel what I lost and the love I had for her. Only then did I send her flowers and ... (read in full...)
I got mad and told him to get lost and now I deeply regret it. Should I write him a note?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 6 months, we moved in together two months ago and both work at the same company and have pretty much been with each other every day. The thing is we have been having silly little nigly arguments over the ...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi. Have you ever heard of stupid pettiness? This sounds like it, life’s to short to hassle about little things when you love someone. Obviously there are deeper issues bugging you guys. Maybe a quick chat to see what you both want out of the ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when your bf only has sex with you, doggy-style?
Q. What does it mean when your bf only has sex with you doggy-style? I love my bf so much, and we have been discussing future plans that might lead to marriage! He is the best sex that I have ever had...EVER! And he sure pleases me in everything ...
A. 5 February 2007: Doggy style is great, personally I love it but the problem is that you loose eye contact with your partner and that's very important when being intimate. Tell him that you want to change from time to time so that you can see the pleasure in his eyes ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my boyfriend with a married man. I feel guilty so should I stop?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend of six years moved thousands of miles away a half a year ago to pursue a teaching career. In the first two years we were together, we knew we were done with dating other people and had an understanding that we'd eventual...
A. 2 February 2007: Hi. Well having an affair with a married man is wrong! You're going to break up a marriage for a few moments of pleasure and land up feeling lousy about yourself. The fact that you can sleep with another man obviously means that you're feelings for ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have to nag her for any kind of intimacy... We've gone from 10 times a week to once a week, if that!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 14 months. We live together and are completely commited to eachother. In beginning, as in most relationshiops, we had a very intense sex life. However, During the first six months, we had gone from having ...
A. 2 February 2007: Hi Anon. Tough situation I feel for you! But remember no one is irreplaceable! Your feelings are important too and you can't be in a relationship that is affecting your work and your life in general. Her pushing you away has probably made you become ... (read in full...)
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