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I always cheat on my wife, how can I stop this bad behavior?

Tagged as: Cheating, Health, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2013)
A male South Africa age 41-50, *kateko writes:

dear cupid

I am a male aged 35, I am married with 2 kids with my wife, and I has another dougther with my Ex, of which we parted ways 12 years back.

I married my wife 9 years back. Here is my problem.

I has never be faithful in my marriage, I has been on and off in relatioships outside, most of the times I even ask my self why do I has to do all these.

I love my wife, and I love my kids but even if I stop having affairs I only stops for 3 months maximum, I means 3 months is the longest time I have spend without an affair. I need advise guy, please help.

Thank you to all who went through this, hope you will help.

View related questions: affair, my ex

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A female reader, theres_always_a_loophole United States +, writes (13 July 2013):

theres_always_a_loophole agony auntI'm sorry, but it sounds to me like you're just one of those people who was never meant to settle down. Monogamy is not meant for everyone, you know. It depends on the individual. Some people have no trouble at all committing to one person emotionally and sexually for the rest of their lives. You're not a bad person for not being able to do that, but you're being unfair to not only your wife, but yourself if you stay with her. Neither of you will truly be happy. If she's been faithful to you all this time, she deserves someone who can do the same.

You're not that person.

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (12 July 2013):

Caring Aunty A agony auntPerhaps you are best not to have a wife and be single, since you ‘always’ end up cheating every 3 months? Your options are to get medically tested for disease, tie a knot in it, Therapy, Salvation and or a Divorce!

It’s surprising you only account for having 3 children, with the amount of love you spread around!? Unfortunately my friend this cheating behaviour is not how anyone shows love for their wife and children; it is the complete opposite!

Apparently you have a gross misunderstanding about love and loving, perhaps there was no proper guidance or male role model in your upbringing to poorly treat women this way… But now you have admitted to yourself there is a problem and here you have the opportunity to do your best in fixing this error.

Take Care – CAA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013):

Time to go to therapy. How would you like it if your wife was doing the same? I can't imagine that you are good at hiding it, I'm sure it's already affected your marriage in some way.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013):

"I always cheat on my wife, how can I stop this bad behavior?"

Hopefully, she'll finally wise up and divorce you, leaving you without a wife to cheat on.

Otherwise, you stop bad behavior by not doing it anymore, which requires you to want to stop, which requires introspection and insight, which you obviously lack but in your case that doesn't matter since you obviously don't want to change your behavior because if you did then you wouldn't be bragging about it.

Your dick and ego come first, wife and kids be damned.

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