Not a romantic relationship question, it's a cry for help. Should I leave my alcoholic dad and start my own life?
Q. I want to move with my boyfriend and our to kids to Michigan, where we both have jobs waiting and we can stay with his Aunt for cheap while we save up for our own place. My mother died about four years ago, my dad is an alcoholic and was before m...
A. 10 May 2013: You have grown up fast beyond your years and have a caring, maternal and responsible nature. You’re a survivor who toughed it out being a Mother when you should have been a Daughter!? (Role reversal) It is admirable of you to have and want to prot... (read in full...)
Am I too young to be thinking of marriage?
Q. Hi guys. Just a quick question. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for 8 months. I really love him and he loves me. Everything is great. The trouble is we have started to talk about marriage- I want to marry him and think that he ...
A. 10 May 2013: In 8 months this is still at fairytale stage – he’s perfect; it’s all rosy and sweet just as it should be… So nothing has presented itself with regards to making you think twice about him? Other than being too young… Sure you can talk about it, B... (read in full...)
My husband is more interested in the TV than me
Q. I get my feelings hurt because I do not see my husband all day and when he gets home the first thing he does is go to the TV and stays there all night.(when I do talk to him he doesn't hear half of what I say either) I work part time and...
A. 10 May 2013: I think I know your Husband; he’s over here in Australia doing a similar thing. So I can identify with the flipping light switch and ranting lunatic. Only thing is I have a flippin’ switch also; the remote control. So it’s talk to me civilly or this ... (read in full...)
When is the right time to sleep with a guy after you have started going on dates?
Q. Hello Aunts, I have a question that I feel I haven't been able to find an answer to because every way I try it I seem to be wrong: When is the right time to sleep with a guy after you have started going on dates. I used to start the physi...
A. 9 May 2013: It may work out better if you don’t put sex on the Menu for the first 4-6 months? (Then again, I’m real slow as I look for substance and it gives them a challenge.) Like we all know sex is readily available these days, but who wants regular mince ... (read in full...)
Thank you
Q. Just wanted to say, I think the agony aunts and uncles on this site are amazing. I don't know how such a wise group of people gathered together in one cyber place but ...I'm glad you did because you helped me get through some serious crap, and now ...
A. 9 May 2013: THANK YOU Anonymous!
I probably had nothing to do with your recovery; but I’ve noticed that also – …it’s truly amazing that such a wise group of people are gathered together in one cyber place at Dear Cupid. Thanks for coming back and expressi... (read in full...)
How can I have clean fun at work when my husband works there too?
Q. Help!!!! I work in the same department as my husband and we have been married for three years. However I find one particular man at work very attractive and sweet. He is young and I am so sexulay attracted to him. We talk and work together but I ...
A. 9 May 2013: Yeah well, I think you may have lost direction here? This is Dear Cupid and I don’t recall it being affiliated with Hanky Panky Advice Anonymous :) Especially on how to have clean fun with a co-worker you fantasize about when your husband is in the ... (read in full...)
They've been acting odd ever since we came back from our holiday and asked them to move their car from our drive!
Q. I'm in an awkward situation with my neighbours and need advice... My husband and I live in an area whereby none of the houses have a garage and there is only 1 car space in the drives. There is an alternate parking area which is 10 minutes wa...
A. 8 May 2013: They responded to your text, knew when you’d be returning and still had the cheek to feel inconvenienced and give you the cold shoulder on top of it! Given that we’d like to get along with our neighbours; how good were these people prior to ... (read in full...)
Why is sex more enjoyable now than it was 15-20 years ago?
Q. I am dating the most terrific man alive. We have sex sometimes 5 times a day. I am 40 and he is 53. Why is sex more enjoyable for me now than it was 15-20 years ago? I cannot get enough and neither can he....
A. 8 May 2013: It’s more enjoyable because the body is giving itself a LAST HOO-RA before it dies off into the sunset with menopause :) and perhaps there had been a long dry spell, that now with the flood gates finally open – It’s catching up for lost time – ... (read in full...)
Your thoughts please? Do men see women differently to how women see themselves?
Q. Hey aunts and uncles. I have been wondering about something for a while, and would like your opinions on it. My question is, do men see women differently than women see themselves? The reason I ask is because a lot of my female family members...
A. 8 May 2013: For example; here’s me looking in the mirror… Now if my partner was ever so stupid to say I look fat and that I should you something about it… I’d simply say to him; well at least I can loose the weight, whereas you’d be hard pressed to grow a ... (read in full...)
Nothing seems to turn me on anymore. Is it my age?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have always had an active sex life together, at least 3 to 4 times a week even while he's been truck driving and is only home 3 nights a week, it's still 3-4 times a week. In all these years I can ...
A. 8 May 2013: Yes well I’d like to find that bastard who designed it that way myself. I don’t remember signing an agreement to close this shop up early! HA! Not that it was a convenience store 24/7 or a shopping trip once a week… But this men-o-pause it’s cal... (read in full...)
Needy Family. Anyone out there with similar experiences to me?
Q. I'm not sure if this is the right website to ask this... My wife and son never seem to let me be alone and do what I like. I leave house at 7am and come back at 7pm. As soon as I arrive they surround me and want my full attention. They talk endles...
A. 6 May 2013: Have you thought to restructure your families greeting habits so that they’re busy and occupied whilst you slowly wind down? This was how I was bought up as a young child in the 70’s. I naturally implemented this behaviour as I can see how it ... (read in full...)
He wants anal but it hurts, and he says I'll get used to it!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we have tried anal sex in the past but I find it painful at times and other times it’s alright. My issue is he won’t stop asking me for anal sex even after I've had some tearing as a result ...
A. 5 May 2013: Clearly he has a fetish, fixation or has been watching this type of porn; whereby you are just ‘used’ and abused, defiled like a ‘Low Grade’ Actor!? Next time he pesters; you handle the situation by getting a cucumber and tell him to BANG IT UP HIS ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going on a holiday with his ex wife and their child
Q. Is it normal - or even not so normal but okay sometimes - for a separated man to go on holiday with his wife and son, if the son has been very badly affected by the parents' separation to the extent of showing fairly extreme behavioural disorder, ...
A. 5 May 2013: I see this as postponing the inevitable, and enabling their son’s condition… If they could not work out their own marriage (for whatever reason), how is it conceivable they know how to fix their son’s ‘extreme’ behavioural disorder? Has this been a ... (read in full...)
I hate my father, but my whole family depends on him.
Q. I grew up in such a loving family, and then one day that all changed. My mom and dad had argument and my dad moved out from our apartment. Shortly after my mom and my younger brother went on vacation. The same day that they went, my dad dropped ...
A. 4 May 2013: Firstly I relate to the Culture with regards to Family and understand his dismissive behaviour. It sounds like your parents were strangers to each other before it became known to you all? Surely they would have had arguments prior to this and ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to stop yelling at me all the time?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and in the beginning he would never yell at me, but now it's like everything I do is wrong. I can't talk to certain people otherwise he gets really angry and threatens to leave me, if I don't do ...
A. 2 May 2013: You have beautifully outlined the CYCLE of ABUSE. Although wouldn’t it be more prudent of you Anonymous, to think how this affects you? Unless you just want to be well fed and clothed, thinking his bribery to keep you is right?
TENSIONS build – ... (read in full...)
Sister in law friendship dilemma
Q. I have a dilemma regarding my sister in law. We used to be best friends and when her abusive boyfriend dumped her, I let her move in with me and my husband. I looked after her, helped her get back on her feet etc....like you would for a friend. ...
A. 1 May 2013: Don’t you just love interloping, interfering, dysfunctional in-laws? I call ‘em Out-Laws because I keep them OUT! The Law is once they start grossly interfering with the harmony of our live they’re OUT (temporarily)! THEIR REWARD then becomes ... (read in full...)
How do I forgive the man that raped my wife?
Q. My wife was drugged and raped when she was 15 years old at a party - she relived the story to me when we first met and I knew that I may need to be there for her to work through any issues that arose from that incident. However she is a very ...
A. 1 May 2013: I cannot stress enough; there is no point ‘two people’ reliving this traumatic experience… Her beliefs along with your support have given her strength to forgive and keep her spirit unbroken. From experience: I once had a traumatic experi... (read in full...)
I'm trapped in a loveless relationship. Should I just pay him to leave?
Q. Trapped in a loveless relationship. I am not married. I've been in a on/off relationship for 8 yrs. my problem is that after a split of around 9 mths I stupidly got back with my ex. He had lived with his mother most of our relationship which had ...
A. 30 April 2013: My girlfriend had a similar situation where she wanted her husband to leave. Here’s how she paid him to leave…
This couple regularly bought Lotto tickets, and one week it was up to 5 Million Dollars. Being so fed up with his entire bull shyte, s... (read in full...)
I feel too ugly to be a bride!
Q. I don't want to sound conceited or like I'm being an attention seeker but I'm due to get married in 1 year and i feel as though I'm too ugly to be a bride. I hate having my photo taken and I even discussed with my fiancé about not having a ...
A. 30 April 2013: I had a friend who underwent cosmetic surgery due to his lack of confidence in his facial looks. Sure enough he had a valid reason and a superficial reason, yet important to him for wanting this done. And in short; the surgery ‘did not’ greatly ... (read in full...)
My wife stresses about EVERYTHING which in turn causes much stress for me!
Q. Hi everyone - I've been married now for around 9 months. When my wife and I were first dating everything seemed like we were on cloud nine, we got along really well and did not have a single drama. The few weeks before our wedding however things got ...
A. 30 April 2013: I once heard; that a person’s character is but half formed till after wedlock… So you dated Ms. Cloud 9 and married Mrs. Worrywart? It begs the question; what else runs in the Family Medical History Books!? Now if this is just your early day’s... (read in full...)
I want to move in with my BF but get the mortgage on the place myself. Is this right?
Q. Hello, Me and my boyfriend are moving in together soon and it might be possible for me to have a mortgage on a place. However I don't want to go into a mortgage with my boyfriend. It sounds cruel but even though i adore him I just dont fe...
A. 26 April 2013: You really have two worries; him going again and if he does, by Australian Law, after 2 years in a De-facto relationship the other person is/can be entitled to a percentage of the property… That of course has a lot of variables – grey area. In y... (read in full...)
I'm hurt that my boyfriend didn't get me anything for my birthday
Q. I am with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am happy being with him. The thing is...he didn't give me anything for my birthday. He simply said "happy birthday babe." We are in a long distance relationship but I came home for my birthday....I was ...
A. 26 April 2013: NO the lunch dates do not justify neglecting a girlfriends’ birthday… Be you rich or poor, (2 jobs or studying), LDR or close; flowers, cooking a special dinner for that person and or a card with a written IOU to collect a back massage etc is the ... (read in full...)
Which cheater is worse? I want your opinion of the women in these scenarios.
Q. i was just having a discussion with someone and i was wondering what you guys think of these 2 situations. my question is regarding the females of these situations. Scenario A: a couple (Tom and Lisa) has been together for 1.5 month. the girl,...
A. 25 April 2013: FACT: Our hypothetical Lisa, Frank and Kathy have all cheated = neither has moral fibre, period!
Question: Who is least deceitful? Answer: Tom
Question: Who is most deceitful? Answer: Kathy!
IMO; the relationship period is immaterial. Yet ... (read in full...)
Married 19 years and my wife has never had an interest in sex. Why does she not like sex?
Q. Hi, I, too, have the common (and perhaps the oldest) question: Why doesn't my wife like sex? I have been married for 19 years. I've been very successful, we've traveled, and we even purchased our dream house and live a comfortable life. 19 ...
A. 25 April 2013: Yes well, I’d be inclined to sit in separate ends of the couch after having several kids myself :) Her thinking may well be; when you initiate touching, this obviously means you want sex to eventuate rather than simply cuddling and not feel under ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but the way he treats me, it doesn't feel like it!
Q. My boyfriend tells me he loves me but his behavior suggests otherwise to me. About 2 weeks ago we got into an argument and he told me he had been wanting to break up with me since I miscarried 4 years ago. We have been together for 6 years, living ...
A. 24 April 2013: You are being prevailed upon for your finances and good housekeeping to date. In the event of his death, he has made it clear – spelt it out in fact of where you stand in the scheme of things! A small token of appreciation or acknowledgement is ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and he finishes with me?? What the...
Q. Hi everyone. This may be a bit long-- but please bare with me. I'm very shocked. I found out yesterday I am pregnant. I'm 24 and very fortunate to be in a good well paying job with a good maternity package also. I have been with my boyfriend for...
A. 24 April 2013: So you didn’t get the message when he cheated, plus he and his Mother think everyone wants to “trap him.” Why is that; is it because this 38 year old is such a prize catch!? One would have to either desperate or conniving to trap the likes of this ... (read in full...)
Sexless marriage and clinically depressed.
Q. I have a problem that seems to be just the opposite of some recent Q and A's. We have been married for 33 years and busted our humps to correctly and lovingly raise our Daughter and Son, now 31 and 24 years old respectively. Nobody could ask for a ...
A. 23 April 2013: You both are accustomed to living this train wreck which ‘has’ happened 24 years ago so I would not expect a miraculous change to take place, and understand why she’d be resistant to counselling and displaying affection all of a sudden! (Did ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling paranoid about his roving eye!
Q. I have just met a divorced guy with a teenage son. He seems lovely and genuine. We have been going out a lot these past few months and I can't help but notice how visual he is towards attractive women. I asked him if he knew the prety barmaid last ...
A. 23 April 2013: Of course he doesn’t notice anything unusual about his behaviour; that’s who he is… But there’s ogling and then there’s glancing. Here, he’s making an effort to actually look around and keenly observe – get the picture – you’re not in it!? No need ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was annoyed by my FB post. Did she over-react? Was her reaction immature? I thought the post was light fun.
Q. Three days ago, I wrote on my Facebook Wall that "If you can't change the girl, change the girl!" . My girlfriend (for two years) didn't like it and called me jerk when she met me later. She is talking to me but can see some change in her at...
A. 23 April 2013: Here’s a joke you shouldn’t take offence to then…
What does an Immature Irish man’s brain sound like?
Whoosh… Like flushing toilet water!
…to be sure, you’re not that funny mate! Although as mentioned by Expat Girl, you publicly apologise t... (read in full...)
I created a fake ad on Craigslist to see if my boyfriend would make contact. He did, now what do I do?
Q. A little background info first: my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. He always told me I was his first love and I'm the first girl he's even considered marriage with and so on. His family has even told me I'm the first ...
A. 22 April 2013: If this was a game of Baseball; it’d be three strikes and you’re out! Good for you snoopy princesskatee… looks like you caught him out in centre field. Here’s how to deliver a little harmless sweet justice if you have the 'confidence' for - Game ... (read in full...)
Should I give up everything, and move interstate to be with my boyfriend? It would mean giving up my own home, which I purchased before I met him.
Q. I have been with my BF for 4 years. We are each in our late 20's/early 30s. I have my own house. He still lives at home. He was studying which is why he stayed there, but he could have moved out by now! (has it too good!). A big concern for me ...
A. 22 April 2013: I had a similar situation like yours… Career, stability and security… So I put this to my then boyfriend of 4 years, since I’d be the one to uproot and forgo my Career, Family etc., whether he would be prepared to pay for me and my chattels to move ... (read in full...)
Hubby has no job and exchanges sexual pictures with girls online. Help?
Q. Ok im not sure what way to turn... i can really go to my friends like i want too because i dont want them to judge.... but all ive done is cry today... i been with my husband for 15 years off and on but only been married 4 months... we have 5 lil ...
A. 21 April 2013: Re: Him sending this girl a pic of his privates… You should have called this girl also and said; hey there sweetie, now you see why the sex sucks in our marriage and laughed about his privates… So if you’re thinking about getting together with hi... (read in full...)
I'm depressed. I had an abortion 2 years ago and still haven't gotten over it
Q. Two years ago I had an abortion. I don't agree with abortions, and I didn't want to at the time but my parents wanted me to and my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with my friend. I really regret what I did, there isn't a day that goes by ...
A. 20 April 2013: Time will heal all wounds Anonymous… There is always next time to make things right. You do not have to go through this pain again when it presents itself in the future! Here life experiences; especially those regrettable ones have a way of giving ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems obsessed with his low-life loser friend
Q. my boyfriend of 10 years recently got together with a friend he went to high school with. This "friend" Mark, cheats on his girl, hits on everything that walks (embarrasing - he is such a loser)and encourages my boyfriend to cheat (boyfriend says he ...
A. 19 April 2013: Some guys can get obsessed with their so called ‘Best Friend’ or a new found friend for different reasons, and it’s not until something is awakened in them by that other person, that they start to drift… Leave early from work, show up late for ... (read in full...)
When you moved into your fiance's home did he call it "our" home?
Q. When I moved into my fiance's house, he asked me to move in with him, he called it "our" home, although he owns the home. No mortgage on the property. I started my own business and have been very busy with that. I've been organizing the r...
A. 17 April 2013: Had you written, “HIS” home; my thoughts would be different… Whereas “his”; sounds as though he was miffed and not reigning power and control, but clumsily stating a fact. He obviously likes to have/see things tidy – lucky you? Given that you see ... (read in full...)
Is he just playing with me or genuinely in it for the long term?
Q. dear all, I am in a relationship with this man. There has been a few issues. He was texting his ex girlfriend while with me, two girls on separate occasions approached me and said they were with him (he is quite a hard worker and seen as a good ...
A. 16 April 2013: You are being prevailed upon because he fears rejection and being abandoned again… The behaviour is spelt out in front of you and is just short of emotional blackmail. So if you’re tired now with all this behaviour, imagine the cost of being dr... (read in full...)
I'm serious about him, but wondering about his female friend?
Q. I have been dating someone for a little over a year. It's pretty serious, and we've moved in together. I love him, and I enjoy spending time with him, but he has a very close woman friend, and that's the problem. They became close when they were ...
A. 15 April 2013: Perhaps there is nothing more than friendship between them? But you didn’t fall down in the last shower either! For now, just keep watch without vocalising too much.
What I see between them is their long history and her need to exhibit herself ... (read in full...)
Going through divorce, having an affair but this guy wants to just slow it down.
Q. I was in an abusive marriage for a long time and started an affair with someone I'd been attracted to for a while. This person was a good friend to me and also a confidante. Very quickly my husband and I separated and are going through an ...
A. 14 April 2013: I accept your reason for an affair and understand your friend pulling back due to previously experiencing the process of a divorce. (Once is enough in anyone’s books!?) Even though he wishes to remain supportive, (I struggle with him withdrawing ... (read in full...)
Am I a sugardaddy or is possible for a relationship with a woman 20+ younger than me?
Q. what are your opinions of an older man getting with a younger girl and getting her pregnant? i met a girl who is 20+ years younger than me. we have talked and not having any children of my own, she said she is in love with me and will have a baby ...
A. 12 April 2013: From Bed Springs to Off Spring – what a crackerjack prize
Sure enough you’re her Sugar Daddy and Father figure if she’s 20+years younger than you. Pity you couldn’t have ended your marriage first more dignifying before starting a new!? As they say... (read in full...)
Is this love without him saying those 3 little words?
Q. My baby always tells me that he cares for me " just so much" but has never said he loves me. He's a Capricorn and has said in the past that he a man who will show love when in love opposed to JUS saying it right out. He's also said that he's going ...
A. 12 April 2013: Yeah that’s a Capricorn for ya, duty before expressing words of emotion/sentiment. Similar to a Virgo another Earth sign that’s even more stoical and harder to crack emotionally... Sure enough Signs maybe of interest to you. So besides the looks and ... (read in full...)
I know my self esteem is low. But his list of "RULES" is so long. What should I do about his verbal abuse?
Q. Dear Cupid I know the post is long, please read it through and help me. I have been with this person for 3 years, I cook, clean after him, work and pay 3/4 of expenses at home, get him nice gifts for his birthdays and Christmas, never ask...
A. 11 April 2013: Even Introverts have a backbone to leave a relationship like this one… I read you’re a glutton for punishment, even when he’d be relieved if you left.
Is there something medically stopping you from understanding this from him? Or do you need to ... (read in full...)
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