A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So i have been seeing this girl for a month or two. We have had sex multiple times and tells me after the first night that she wants me to be her's. I stay the same and i go on vacation and she doesn't tell me whats going on. I come to find out she talked to her ex and he wants another chance. She asked me if i was willing to wait seeing as she "doesn't know me that well", yet she was asking why we weren't together. I know she wants me to be there if it doesn't work. Thats why i told her i want to be with her if she needs time i am not gonna wait. Was i right to move-on. will she realize she made a mistake. didn't cry, and didn't give her an ultimatum of him or me. I just asked her then i just said goodbye. I dont think it will hit her till the end of the week or until he fucks up again. She said this is the third time he fucked up. I told her she is obviously not over him and that we cant work until she is truly over him. I said we wont work because your not over. She asked if i was willing to give it time i said it take a month to figure out if you want to be with them. I mean five times a week for 3 weeks or soo.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): She thinks nothing of using people for her own agenda. How selfish she is. I bet her ex doesn't know that she is trying to line up a replacement for him while supposedly with him and stuck on him. She is using you as well as him. All because she is too weak to make a choice and accept the risk of losing an opprtunity. You did the right thing. Don't wait around for her.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (23 July 2013):
Move on and forget this girl. Even if she comes back are you willing to take her back? No one should ever ask someone else to wait for them. I think that is one of the most misleading things to do. I think you made the right move whether it was for her to come back to you or for you to forget her. The decision is yours if you do want her back but personally I wouldn't waste my time. Don't wait for this girl.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (23 July 2013):
 Have you ever heard of the expression "you can't have your cake and eat it, too"? Because I don't think that this girl is familiar with that idea.
Honestly, she sounds like the type that is very dependent and isn't happy unless she's "in love" (which to her just means securely fastened to somebody else, regardless of how genuine or safe the relationship may be). Hence why she can't see the forest through the trees with her ex as well as why she doesn't see an issue with telling you to stay on hold.
Dump her. She's a loser. You can do better.
Don't YOU be a loser who allows himself to be put on hold for some flimsy, selfish, short-sighted lover.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (23 July 2013):
 After 3 f*ck ups this girl obviously likes her live complicated and looks to be a slow learner to go back a 4th time to her EX! (What’s he got that you haven’t?) Nonetheless, you on the other hand are a quick learner to move on! Well done mate, you know what you want, even if she doesn't!
CAA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 July 2013):
She isn't over her ex at all, or SHE wouldn't want to give him a chance.
You are/were her rebound/back up and handy for her to keep around, just in case the ex fucks up again.
End it, don't "wait" around for her to make up her mind. Either she wants to date you or she doesn't. She ONLY wants to date you if the ex don't work out. That is not a good thing.
End it and cut all contact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013): Basically your her toy boy, your the left over she keeps to go back to whenever she's lonely. Seriously dude you need to respect & love yourself don't let some chick treat you like her leftover, if you allow her to treat you like that she will take you for granted.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2013):
Do you really want to be someone 'back up plan' .. Their second best ? If you can honestly answer these questions it will give you the strength you need to move on with your life..
You may love her but clearly she hedges her bets and I would advise that you deserve more than she is willing or will ever be able to give . Don't be a fool .. Find someone single who can love you and you she . And yes this may take little while but once you look back on this . You will count yourself very luck indeed . .
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 July 2013):
 I suggest that you just move on in your life, and let her's go as it will.....
Clearly, she is neither mature nor focused in her life.... so why should you sit around and wait until she does... or ...more importantly, until she DOESN'T mature and/or get focused?....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, ginmagpie  +, writes (22 July 2013):
It seems to me that as you said this girl is not over her ex.
Unfortunately, and I'm sorry to say, I don't think telling her that you aren't willing to wait will make her think YOU are the one she wants. If she does come to her senses and get back in connect with you then great. If you're willing to put up with her troubling, distant behaviour.
But I think it's best to cut her lose and find a girl who isn't stuck on her ex and appreciates and respects you...
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