My friend thinks I'm spoiling my husband.
Q. Dear cupid My friend Debbie moved an hour and a half away a few years ago so we don't get to see each other as often as we use to. Debbie wants me to come and spent a weekend with her but my husband feels like why i cant just go and return ho...
A. 1 July 2013: Please assure your husband that some of us women need more than a day to catch up on gossip; and he will be perfectly fine to look after the house and or children for one night. I believe this will also give him time to appreciate you in your ... (read in full...)
How to bounce back and move on after lots of disappointment?
Q. In late October/early November 2012, I ended things with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years. To be honest it was an up and down 4 years where he cheated on me and I worked to forgive him only after I did and fell in love with him again he still ...
A. 1 July 2013: For me to bounce back my thinking changes… I go from sounding like a cracked record, repeating the same old story over and over again to shutting myself up completely. Why? It’s because I had enough of hearing my own BS problems :) and after a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend took pictures of women on his cell phone. What should I do?
Q. I needed my boyfriends cell phone to make a call. On his cell was a picture of a woman in a bikini. I remembered her because we went to a local beach the other day and she was sleeping on a lounge chair next to my boyfriend. I was on a lounge ...
A. 30 June 2013: “…I really want to know a person before I go down that aisle.”
I believe you just found; 25 better reasons for taking it even slower than before!? :(
Take Care - CAA
... (read in full...)
How can I look out for my foster son?
Q. I fostered a child three years ago, and the child is now 6. He was abandoned by his parents when he was a baby. I got him before I got married. Am now married and my husband has had a hard time accepting the boy. He is just plain cold towards him, ...
A. 30 June 2013: FIRE THE NANNY, NO MORE BEBATE NEEDED! INSIST that your Husband and relatives show more humanity and respect for this little unfortunate who is in your care! This is most infuriating for me to hear that anyone could act so indifferent to a... (read in full...)
What can a pregnant women do to keep her husband to pay more attention on her?
Q. I am pregnant for twelve weeks now, my husband is chatting on the internet with a married women who have a baby already. They talk about everything which makes me really jealous. No matter is day or night, my husband will wait for this women on ...
A. 30 June 2013: I often wonder if we sat next to our spouse while they are talking online; what would happen. Are there any secrets or misbehaviour going on? Why not make a cup of tea for two and casually sit next to him when he’s in conversation with this marrie... (read in full...)
Should I plan my birthday without my boyfriend. He only celebrated one out of four birthdays.
Q. Hi!! I have a question about my birthday and my boyfriend. This is going to be my fourth birthday in the relation, and out of the other 3 birthdays, my boyfriend has spent 1 of those birthdays with me. We actually attend to the same universi...
A. 29 June 2013: I would think turning 21 is something special, unless culturally it’s not considered so important in Brazil? If it’s just another birthday on the calendar then I’d do as I please…
However Birthdays for me are about how special that person i... (read in full...)
It used to be the closest friendship, now I can't count on her
Q. I dont know what to do with my best friend. I known her 4 10 years,and we ve been best friends ever since.We were also roommates first year of faculty,and that was one of the best years ever. But since we dont live together she ve changed so much....
A. 29 June 2013: From experience; this is where you learn that you and your childhood friends grow up and find their own way in life. It is perfectly natural for us to change and develop into the people we will become. Some of us are not interested in keeping ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend look for a job like he said he would?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend has asked to be left alone at the moment. However, I dont know why. Before he texted me this, we had a quick mobile conversation about him saying that he's been feeling down recently because he doesn't have much money. Which I ...
A. 28 June 2013: Sorry to say, but you are not reason enough for him… He would want to find another job for himself and his self-esteem in order to achieve his grand ideas (holidays) etc. Instead he’s just lazing about, getting depressed and settling for mediocrity. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? My husband has no clue how to love.
Q. Should I stay or should I go? Married 11yrs, together for 21. we've always been off and on. Only stayed cause I thought it was the right thing to do. He is a good man, we have 3 children 7,9,11. But he's never been "with" me, "for" me. we've never ...
A. 28 June 2013: As I see it, he needs to understand that 'he has' a family now! My point is directed to appeal to his spirit that he need not make divorce orphans of his 3 children because of his lack of family and role models in the past. He needs to brave u... (read in full...)
Should men stand up and get involved for their partners?
Q. I have a question about men standing up for their partners. My husband today told me a story about a woman at a wedding who was being picked on by another female guest. The woman went on and on but the lady who was being picked on's husband did ...
A. 24 June 2013: Story is; there was a time when I would have appreciated some backup from my partner… On this particular occasion we were sleeping over his parents place. After dinner he and I went out dancing and returned home late, way passed the time ‘he’ had ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a man who was a friend before we began dating and I'm devastated that he just ended it after 7 weeks of dating!
Q. Hi people. Just need some straight forward advice,ill give you some background,I am a single mother out of a messy relationship about 2 years ago. Ive come to the time now,where I feel I can move on. Ive been seeing a man who was my friend before we ...
A. 22 June 2013: I think what may have happened here is this guy friend had a male curiosity of wanting sex with you… Once his fantasy was realised he reverted back to being friends. I had something similar near happen to me when a male friend came on to me af... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to a webcam girl?
Q. Hi all, I'm a 26 yr old male virgin. I saw this girl on one of her online webcam shows and found out she's a flight attendant flying into my city. She made a proposition that she will offer sex for money. I am a virgin and want to know what sex fe...
A. 21 June 2013: It won’t matter how you ask this question again from the first time – http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-lose-my-virginity-with-her.html I now see that you are trying get approval, courage and support to go ahead with this!?
The answers ... (read in full...)
How can I show my gf that she is beautiful and that her scars are not as bad as she thinks they are?
Q. My girlfriend is beautiful to me and anyone who has ever met her but she refuses to take off her clothes during sex or without the room being dark. I know she has a pretty bad scar on her torso just under her ribcage because of a burns accident ...
A. 20 June 2013: Scars such as these remind us of the day of the accident… a flashback occurs and the horror as in this case comes flooding back to haunt that person. It is also recreated when that person sees fire as the culprit to her torso disfigurement. When you ... (read in full...)
Ex partner apologises after 2 years apart!!!
Q. I split with my partner 2 years ago. I had 1 young child with her and she had a child from a previous relationship. We had been together for about 12 years! We have stayed in touch due to me seeing my son weekly, of course, and she has often ha...
A. 20 June 2013: I can only surmise that she’s been sitting at home contemplating the confrontation you had with her… and has come to realise her part in this break-up, to apologise and take ownership for it. It’s a good thing is it not?
Take it as a good sig... (read in full...)
Do I bow out for the sake of my boyfriend's children?
Q. I need help as I am having a serious dilemma! I am with a wonderful guy...been together 2 years and are happy together. He has 2 kids, we want them together as I don't have any. When we met, we decided to save for a house, marriage etc. I ...
A. 20 June 2013: I always ask myself before I get deep into a relationship with a man who has children and an ex-wife, what is their divorced relationship like; estranged or amicable and are the children likely to become part of our relationship fulltime? If t... (read in full...)
To move or not to move?
Q. I yet again turn to you dear agony aunties and uncles. I am a 33 year old women who lives at home with her parents. My family has certain rules that I have to follow, they are not comfortable with me coming home late (my mother basically stays ...
A. 19 June 2013: Whatever happens; I hope nothing jeopardises your sobriety and that you don’t forego graduating. Everything else can be sorted and put on a wait list… As I see it you outline the pros and cons of your present situation quite rationally. E.G. Dys... (read in full...)
What are your opinions when it comes to friends having surgery
Q. If someone say an ex girlfriend, someone you're friends with, or know really well got a nose job what would you think of them? Taking into consideration that their nose was bumpy, hooked and too big for their face... Would you think any differ...
A. 19 June 2013: Story is; many years ago a friend of mine had surgery to correct his nose, and sure enough it made him happy looking more handsome and slightly more confident… As a friend I could see how this transformation changed his appearance :) yet his pers... (read in full...)
In the western culture... who pays the bill on a date?
Q. Hi Dearcupid, I came from asian background and i was on the dating website. Recently i meet a guy on line and went for a coffee date and one dinner date. Now i have a little question to ask " for the western culture, what should happen with...
A. 18 June 2013: [Passages used]
Paying Etiquette: who pays the cheque? ON FIRST DATES – In short it’s the male; as it’s not just the gentlemanly thing to do, it also indicates that he is responsible, steady and well-established. Women like that; as it helps them... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity with her but will I regret it later because of the circumstances?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service. I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get...
A. 17 June 2013: This wouldn’t be our VIRGIN Airline offering you this extra service would it? I know we have to pay extra for a meal and onboard entertainment, but this is a new one to me!? Looks like our Australian Hostess are trying to get more customs to fly ... (read in full...)
Age differences: what's ok and what's not?
Q. I'm attracted to a 19 year old guy... but I'm 22. While the age difference isn't that big, I feel like this is the time in your life where you are maturing fast and growing up. He just graduated high school last year while I've been out for 4 y...
A. 17 June 2013: I know we’re talking about a small difference of 4 years, but here’s a quick note of my uncanny experience. I once went out with a lovely man who was 17 years older than me… he had maturity, wisdom and skill to his credit, but things changed a... (read in full...)
He says he loves me even though he cheated, got another woman pregnant and plan to marry her
Q. I've been seeing this guy since march 2012. I was 20 and he was 33. He's from south america and was doing his masters. It was his last year here and after he's done with the masters he was supposed to leave. So we started this knowing we don't ...
A. 16 June 2013: Sure enough this is what happens when you don’t listen to your instincts; when he first cheated you should have left him and none of this would have existed! That is one reason why we advise people to leave their cheating partners in the first ... (read in full...)
Do I end my long term relationship overseas due to homesickness??
Q. I moved from the US to Australia to be with my boyfriend over 2 years ago (he's an Australian citizen). I am currently debating ending my 7 year relationship with him, whom I love very much, because he doesn't want to move back to the states with me ...
A. 15 June 2013: When I read your post it makes me think of the many immigrants who came here to Australia after WWII who would have felt homesick after leaving their homeland at your age, to start anew and raise a family without their mothers, fathers, siblings and ... (read in full...)
My ex has cancer. Do I help him secretly or tell my new boyfriend about him?
Q. My ex and me have been broken up for a while now but we still talked every so often. He recently got diagnosis with cancer. He lives a few hours away. I've tried to help him as much as possible because his family lives in a different state. here is ...
A. 14 June 2013: I find nothing wrong with showing compassion towards your Ex-boyfriend or ex-whomever… It shows although that relationship didn’t work out for you both back then; I guess today there’s no great deal of ill-will felt between you? Now that he’s ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks any man will be led by his hormones!
Q. Dear cupids, Today i asked my boyfriend of 1 year, what would he respond if a sexy woman asked him for his phone number, he said: to be honest, any man that is put in such a situation will be lead by his hormones and probably approve and take adv...
A. 14 June 2013: His heart may well belong with you, but where does his penis and thinking belong!? He’s basically telling you whilst his heart belongs to you now, he will blame his male hormones for whatever happens if a new girl comes along… In other words he’l... (read in full...)
My wife cannot have sex because of a medical problems and I need relief!
Q. Hello, My problem is embarrassing, but it is affecting my life very significantly now, and medicine seems not to be of help. My wife is everything to me. We met in college and fell in love, and everything went okay. We didn't have sex before ...
A. 14 June 2013: For you and your wife to consider :)
http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-treatment
Take Care – CAA
... (read in full...)
Husband stays out until 4 am..........and wonders why I am upset about it
Q. My husband went out last night with some work colleagues for a work dinner. He said he would be home in a few hours. Well, he came home at 4 am this morning drunker than a skunk, no keys and lost his $700 cell phone and had the nerve to ask me this ...
A. 13 June 2013: It may appear to you that he has more fun with his mates than with you; his wife when you go out… However, is his type of fun really fun? How does your time together compare with what he does as an individual? Is there quality time spent as a ... (read in full...)
My much older husband treats me terribly. The only reason I stay is for the kids. How long will I have to live like this?
Q. I have been married for 4 1/2 years now. For the past 3 years I noticed that my husband started complaining about every little thing in the house. Eg if I put my laptop on the table and my daughter spills water in it he would scream at me in front...
A. 12 June 2013: YES he certainly is helping you jk101; helping you to leave him in his own misery without you and the children! If you have access to a passport then you will know that the children cannot be taken out of the country without prior consent of the o... (read in full...)
Planned a vacation with a friend but her negativity is giving me second thoughts
Q. Here is the upsetting situation for me with my friend. More than a year ago we went to a bar with her and I met one of the most gorgeous guys ever. He was younger and really good looking. He took my phone number in bar, and kept texting me after we...
A. 12 June 2013: I believe your girlfriend has a valid point for concern when you do not know enough about this man yourself. Be it you’ve kept in touch with him; he suddenly went quiet when your plans went into motion… I can only speculate that he didn’t want or ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to make new friends because I don't want to get hurt again!
Q. I used to be friends with a group of girls who treated me like their doormat and who only wanted to hang out with me when no one else was around. Eventually, some of them asked to hang out again, but I said no because I knew they would only end up ...
A. 11 June 2013: No doubt this still hurts because as I see it; we all like to be accepted and belong somewhere within a group of people… That doesn’t mean we change ourselves to fit in with others for approval sake either. Especially these girls, who brag, act smug ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend will not contact me when she is visiting her mother. Should I ask her about it?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. We are both divorced, have our own kids and save for a minor hiccup in our relationship this past January we have a good strong bond. Each morning when we are waking up at our own places, ...
A. 10 June 2013: If everything is going well between you I can’t see why you don’t ask her? Admittedly this week-end oddity of hers is curious even with positive speculation… But it’s far from being an inquisition if you were to simply bring this up and ask her ... (read in full...)
Date didn't even call or text to say he wasn't coming for our date!
Q. Me and a guy suppose to be going to the movies but he didn't come pick me up from my house, he told me he would come and we already made plans, I'm already dressed waiting for him but he didn't show up... He didn't even text me or call to tell me he ...
A. 9 June 2013: It seems that courtesy and manners are slowly dieing in today’s society even with all the modern communication systems we have at our disposal!?
Be it that you’ve known him only 3 weeks you now know a little bit more about him when it comes to... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant. My boyfriend wants me to get an abortion, but I don't feel its right. What should I do?
Q. We are not at a financial state to have a baby. We have no money. We are both students. But the more I think about having an abortion, the harder it becomes. I already feel an emotional attachment to my baby, but my boyfriend doesn't understand ...
A. 8 June 2013: Perhaps if we think about it this way… you have an emotional attachment to your baby like a Mother has for her unborn child to protect it from harm. It’s instinctive as the body naturally changes with hormones. At first there’s either a shock (u... (read in full...)
When is it time to tell him I don't want sex before marriage?
Q. Hey everyone, I have been dating this guy for a month and a half now..we really like each other but may be things with us just happened too soon cuz there was soo much chemistry and sparks! There is one thing about me that I need him to know 'I ...
A. 4 June 2013: After a month and a half of dating at your age it’s quite natural that there’d be sparks flying around… I guess it’d be pretty hard to extinguish these sparks if you keep rubbing together with all that chemistry? :) Another way of doing this would... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 3 June 2013: How “impersonal” is it to write on a card: To My Dear Wife…, who is a most wonderful Mother to our two beautiful children! Love from your Husband…?
Ditto Eyes Wide Shut; …buy yourself something really nice on Father’s Day! :)
Plus, how on ... (read in full...)
I'm hurting, in our 3 years he's cheated on me more than 5 times! How to prevent him from cheating again?
Q. im currently in a relationship of 3 years and since we have been together my boy friend has cheated on me more than 5 time, and he just repeated now so I just don't know what to do! and he keeps on saying he loves me when I dump him... so how do I ...
A. 3 June 2013: After MORE THAN 5 TIMES…! I honestly do not think you should do anything about him cheating, but ask why you allow yourself to stay and put up with this behaviour!? The prevention for him to cheat would be for his penis to be surgically remov... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 3 June 2013: Another perspective is; you have been born in a generation where Virginity is less regarded and protected for marriage than what is was in the 1950’s for example. Certainly these days society has dramatically changed in its moral fibre – manners, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I'm soon to be single or leave the situation as it is?
Q. Here is my dilemma. There is a guy I have liked for many years until a year ago we worked together and although we never met up outside of work we do touch based by texting every couple of months. We texted a couple of days ago and I asked if he'd ...
A. 3 June 2013: You could have texted back having the opportunity there and then to say; thanks for the compliment but I’m soon to be single… (Obviously he sees you as attractive) If he feels awkward; you have left out confirmation for us whether he is married, l... (read in full...)
Is cybersex cheating and is it forgivable?
Q. My husband of 15 years was caught having an affair online with a colleague. He left "chat" open and I read all the sordid details. He claims everything happened online but I discovered they had plans to meet. I feel beyond betrayed and hurt and...
A. 1 June 2013: Having a mid-life crisis is one thing (you go buy a sports car or something), but to pardon cheating by ‘everything happened online’, then blame it on the children and indeed show no remorse is entirely something else!? I’d equally be very ... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant b/f cheated, he lied until the girl sent the video of them having sex!
Q. I am 8 months pregnant and just found out my boy friend cheated, he said it was a mistake and he's so sorry but I don't know what to do, I want to be with him but I dont at the same time! The worst part is she filmed it and sent it to me, he ...
A. 1 June 2013: It just goes to show you they’ll lie through their teeth if it weren’t for having evidence of them cheating!
Perhaps you could swear on your own life and that of your baby not to have anything to do with him again!?
It’s sad that this had happened... (read in full...)
My childhood sweetheart wants to reconnect but never mentioned his fiance to me!
Q. I recently reconnected with my high school sweetheart after not tlkn or seeing each other for 9 years. We live on opposite sides of the country. We have talked about getting back together. I found out he has a fiance. He didn't tell me about her ...
A. 1 June 2013: Well if he couldn’t tell you about his fiancé, she certainly it’s going to be aware of him talking to you. Both of you girls are kept in the dark about each other for a reason or motive!?
I believe there’s a bit of information missing in your pos... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 31 May 2013: When you’re in the moment I’d introduce the use of a warm moist flannel washer… It’s more pleasant than a chemical swipe after taste and a bit more of a sensual approach when you think about it!?
Have Fun – CAA
... (read in full...)
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