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*oo22

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How can I pluck up the courage and talk to him again?

Q.   I really like this guy at church but I've never had the confidence to chat to him before, but recently at a friends suprise birthday party he started talking to me. We spoke for a long time and he was making a lot of eye contact with me but i was so ...

A.   3 December 2009: hi, ask him if he wants to go for a coffee after church . stop thinking and start doing. good luck x... (read in full...)

My husband had an emotional affair and I can't get past it! Please help!

Q.   Please help. My husband had a non sexual (I think I believe this} 'affair' with a work colleague during which time they got very emotionally close (I was being very unloving to him at the time although he never stopped showing he loved and fancied ...

A.   14 October 2009: Hi again, i don't think you can believe he didn't cheat cos you don't believe in yourself enough. He can't make you believe him, it's something that can only come from you. You sound like you have poor self image or low confidence. He's marr... (read in full...)

I don't want to ruin my marriage but I love his company! Am I wrong?

Q.   I'm married with 2 kids. My marriage is a mess. To makes matters worse, I was at a family get together and started talking to my cousin’s husband’s brother. He respects my situation and claims to want to rescue me. We live in different states which ...

A.   13 October 2009: Hi, if you leave your husband for this " free spirit " it'll be the worst mistake you ever made. For free spirit please interperit that as irresponsible loser with no future, who'll dump you the moment the novelty wears off. Its just a fa... (read in full...)

Why can't I meet a guy who likes small breasts?

Q.   I have small breasts, and as it is known, *most* guys like big breasts better. Some like small, but I have yet to meet one of those! Most guys just settle for small chested women. Like Salma Hayek is hot because of her big boobs, but Kate Hudson is ...

A.   12 October 2009: Hi, my friends got an A cup and she's had more guys than most women i know lol Being sexy isn't about tits!! Its about your attitude,and my friend says she loves her two fried eggs and she wouldn't change anything. I believe her. Men jus... (read in full...)

My husband had an emotional affair and I can't get past it! Please help!

Q.   Please help. My husband had a non sexual (I think I believe this} 'affair' with a work colleague during which time they got very emotionally close (I was being very unloving to him at the time although he never stopped showing he loved and fancied ...

A.   12 October 2009: Hi, i think you cant get past it and the mistrust you have of him is getting worse because you don't get enough reassurance from your husband. Has he said something along the lines of he's apologised enough now and wants it all put under the ... (read in full...)

He's nasty to me - why?

Q.   Please help, I am in a 3 month relationship with a guy younger than me by 8 years.When we first dated he lied about his age and I found his ID Doc. but he doesn't know that I know his real age. I found out that he was cheating just a month after we ...

A.   11 October 2009: Hi, your question should be, My boyfriend lies and cheats on me, so why do i stay with him? All this and you've only been together 3 months. He's a stupid little boy with absolutely no repect for you or himself. Dump him immediately plea... (read in full...)

I'm not in love with him, but I feel a chemistry and would like to try things out.

Q.   My good friend and I met around 7 years ago in college. He's liked me since day one and we dated briefly about 4 years ago and again 2 years ago, but things never worked out between us because of our vastly different personalities and values, and I ...

A.   11 October 2009: Hi, this is a tricky one indeed. It must be quite frustrating for you if you see him a lot. He told you straight out that " he is not the one you're looking for " Please take heed of what he's saying. For some reason only known to himself ... (read in full...)

We are talking about marriage, but he can't tell me he loves me more than his best friend!

Q.   So I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. His best friend is a girl. They have been friends since they were 13 and now are 27. They have hooked up a few times during their friendship, even cheating on one of his girlfriends which he ...

A.   11 October 2009: Hi there, hope you're ok. In my opinion they are not friends, they are ex lovers. Friends don't have sex with each other, end of story. I've had a very close male friend in my life for 25 years now, and he's had a girlfriend for 20 of those. In... (read in full...)

Why do I attract pieces of shit?

Q.   WHY DO I ATTRACT PIECES OF SHIT? I'm having a total break-down! I've been reflection on stuff and I want to scream...........is it me? what am i doing wrong? here's the story: I was with my ex for 13 years!!!(hs bf). He did NOTHING! I went ...

A.   11 October 2009: Everyone makes mistakes and thats what they were. Your problem seems to stem from the fact that you stay in the relationship way past its sell by date. Damage limitation is the key here. Don't stick around with guys hoping they or somethin... (read in full...)

What should I believe? I'm disgusted and don't know if he's cheated...

Q.   I recently found an email conversation between my boyfriend and another Guy that was very sexual. He told this Guy where we live and told him to meet him in the 24hr gym to have sex. My boyfriend says he never went but a follow up email from the ...

A.   10 October 2009: Hi there, hope you're ok. He is cheating on you. I'm 100% positive about that. It's not as uncommon as may think. I have a few gay male friends who regularly have sex with straight men who are married with kids or in a relationship with a ... (read in full...)

I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now and I'm starting to have doubts.

Q.   Hi. I have a dilemma. I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now and I'm starting to have doubts. He's really sweet, kind, generous, loves me for me, I can be completely myself around him, he's dependable, smart and hard working with a ...

A.   10 October 2009: you dont say if you were really into him sexually in the beginning. I think not. One thing i know for sure is, if you don't have that sexual chemistry, then you're just good friends. Which is great, but not what will give you a happy mariage. ... (read in full...)

I'm head over heels in love! How do I muster up the courage to ask her out?

Q.   I'm 17 and nuts, crazy over a girl a year below me but goes to my collage or sixthform if you live in England. I have a similar situation to a person you help about asking a girl out I dont know her at all, well i over heard her saying she w...

A.   10 October 2009: Hi. Its so awkward when you REALLY like someone isn't it?! It's so hard to be natural and things seem to conspire against you so you never get the opportunity to get her on her own away from her mates. I really believe in asking the universe for... (read in full...)

I had dreams that are now coming true! Were they telling me something?

Q.   Sometime in July or August I had the same type of dream about someone who I thought I was in love with. I had it 3 nights in a row, and the dream was about me trying to get her attention and trying to say that I'm sorry to her, but she'd always walk ...

A.   10 October 2009: Not enough info to tell unfortunately. Had you done something to apologise for and haven't? If thats the case then the dreams are your higher self if you like, telling you what you already know inside. If thats the case then these dreams a... (read in full...)

Cant cope with the images of my wife with another man

Q.   Please can anyone out there help me. After twenty years of marrage my wife had an affair and it has destroyed our marrage.I absolutely adored the woman and this has devastated me . I am only a shell of the man i used to be.I am now smoking heavly ...

A.   8 October 2009: Hi, hope you're ok. On one level my heart goes out to 100%. If i were in your shoes i'd be devastated. On the other hand torturing yourself endlessly mentally with these hideous thoughts, coupled with the boozing and the hash smacks of too much... (read in full...)

Where do I go now? He wont commit

Q.   I am 32 years old, divorced with three children. I start dating a divorced man with one child over a year age. For the most part the relationship is great except I have always wanted more of a commitment than him. We are faithful to each other ...

A.   8 October 2009: Hi there, reading your post really saddens me. Stop being this desperate man pleaser and get a life!! Men who've just come out of a divorce rarely want to go there again in a hurry. Why did you give him an ultimatum, when you had no intentio... (read in full...)

Is he really going to leave his wife for me? Or is he just saying the things I want to hear?

Q.   Hi, I really need some advice on my situation. Have been seeing a married man for 2 and half years and both in love with each other and see each other lots, had few holidays and weekends away etc. He has 2 children under 18 but not babies a...

A.   8 October 2009: Hi there, I began to read your post with an open mind cos sometimes the guy does leave his wife for the mistress. This happened to a friend of mine who had been dating a married guy for around seven years. They are now married, much to my utter am... (read in full...)

I want him so badly

Q.   My best friend has a girlfriend but I sometimes feel that he's sick of her and he's flirting with me. Sometimes he tells me that he loves her alot, anyway I love him so much and I can't get over him. I don't know what i'm going do but all I know is ...

A.   6 October 2009: Hi, you'll just have to wait it out till they split up and then you can persue it with him. Patience my friend! good luck... (read in full...)

I want to be more than friends. How do I bridge that gap?

Q.   I've known this girl for almost a year. We use to hang out all the time and she had a boyfriend.There would be signs that she liked me. Like one time I was going away for a week and she hugged me goodbye, and I said I'll call you when I get back, ...

A.   6 October 2009: Hi there, i think you two should go out, have fun together. Then muster up the courage and ask her out. You'll be glad you did either way. If she says yes, then fantastic! If the answers no, then at the very least you will have put yourself out... (read in full...)

I just can't be with him anymore. How can I get him out of my head?

Q.   I need to move on and I know that. The man I was seeing (fallen in love with) was separated and going through a divorce. He asked me out and I accepted and we had the most fantastic 5 months together. His ex started threatening to move away with ...

A.   6 October 2009: Hi there, I was in a relationship almost exactly like yours about a year ago. It's only been 3 months so give yourself a break. Having reminders like his sister updating you on him won't help either. Congrats on having the good sense to le... (read in full...)

Should I go out with a boy who is my "soul mate"? Everyone thinks we need to!

Q.   we were out for the day me an my mates and we ran into this boy who is my soul mate hes exactly like me we have the same personalty and everyone says we need to go out and he really likes me but im really not attracted to him but sometimes i think i ...

A.   5 October 2009: Hi, don't make the mistake of going out with people cos your mates think its a good idea. I've done it and their wrong! Only you can decide if your attracted to someone or not. If you're not then you're just great friends and thats fantastic,... (read in full...)

When will the awkward flirting/crush period stop?

Q.   When will the awkward flirting/crush period stop? or well I mean, I'm just waiting for him to ask me out but he hasn't yet... I am pretty sure he has a huge crush on me because he is always doing these things: We were sitting at dinner yester...

A.   5 October 2009: Hi ask him to help you with something or other. You'll know whats best to ask him. That way you'll be able to spend some time together, have a proper chat and get the ball rolling, which is what you need. good luck x... (read in full...)

I've always just 'felt' like she's gay despite her claiming she's straight

Q.   I guess I'm just wanting advice on whether this girl i'm mad about is gay. I fell in love with her over a year ago and it was the first time i've ever liked a girl so its taken me a pretty long time to accept it. But now i'm confident with the fact ...

A.   5 October 2009: Hi, I hope she's straight and she falls in love with you tomorrow. Now back in the real world, i think your intuition is probably right. Trust your instincts in life, they're usually more reliable than anything else. Good luck x... (read in full...)

Lies caused my mum to dissaprove, I want my ex back how do I approach her?

Q.   Iv been with a boy before and hes 16 years old, but my uncle says to my mam he was 18 when he wasnt but my uncle has never bothered with me ever in my life until now, but why now? the boy i was with was the best boy i ever dreamed of but i broke up ...

A.   5 October 2009: Hi, just tell your mam that your uncle was mistaken, Everyone gets things like this wrong all the time. It's no big deal. Show your mum his id if you have to. That should sort it. good luck... (read in full...)

This married man has really got me confused big time.

Q.   No moral judgements please it's to late for that. 30yrs ago i met a married man we had a 3yr affair,i moved away that ended it. now 6yrs ago we catch up again and we have started this all over again,he is still married i am not,the thing is i have a...

A.   5 October 2009: Hi, hope you're ok. This situation is typical of alot i've heard about over the years. He's in control of this relationship and knows he doesn't have to do too much to win you back each time. The getting you back each time back probably adds a ... (read in full...)

Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?

Q.   Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...

A.   5 October 2009: hi, how long is it since you stopped seeing bad girl? Sounds like you're still doing your wound licking while seeing this new girl. If you're still really upset then you shouldn't be dating anyone seriously. Its not fair on your new lady fri... (read in full...)

What makes a woman change when she starts dating?

Q.   Whar is it that comes over a woman when newly in a realashionship? I've turned into someone I don't recognize anymore. I went from being cool, calm and quite "righteous". I have turned into a jealous and very insecure woman all of a sudden. I ...

A.   3 October 2009: Hiya, hope you're ok. Of course you're insecure given the situation, anyone would be. Its like you're sharing the mental and emotional energy that goes into a relationship with her and thats just not acceptable. The fact that it doesn't regis... (read in full...)

He never told me he had girlfriend! How do I act when I see him at work next?

Q.   I am feeling like a prized idiot and I need some helpful advice. This is quite long, sorry. Everyone knows you should never get involved with someone at work but my head was tunred by this guy I work with, he is the first guy ever that I have l...

A.   3 October 2009: Hiya, hope you're ok. Of course you're upset, it's not silly. You really liked this guy, and you've found out you've been played. Please take comfort from the fact that although you really liked this guy, you only liked the idea of him that you... (read in full...)

Why am I embarrassed to introduce him to anyone?

Q.   Is the fact that I am embarrassed to introduce my boyfriend to my colleagues, friends, etc. a bad sign? He is a super sweet guy but his grammar is not great, and he is a little rough around the edges. I did introduce him to a very close friend of ...

A.   3 October 2009: Hi there, he's a bit of rough isn't he? Whats wrong with that? Just let your mates know and make it a bit more light hearted, so they won't be expecting too much. Don't try and sell him to your mates as something he's not or it'll just be awkwa... (read in full...)

Rough sex is killing our relationship

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together in a very close and loving relationship for over 6 years - I am 47 and he is 42. We have a lovely time with ordinary physical affection on a daily basis, lots of hugs, kisses, touches, playing around and fun. He ...

A.   2 October 2009: Hi there, hope you're ok. I have experienced something similar to what you describe and i can empathise. Do you feel you owe him in some way cos you used to be up for it all the time? He may have underlying frustration in other areas with your ... (read in full...)

I'm a babysitter and the father asked me out to lunch!

Q.   I babysit a couple's child. His wife is expecting a baby in the new year. The husband asks me out to lunch when he picks up his child. Is this inappropriate?...

A.   26 September 2009: Hi, be very wary. I wouldn't be surprised if he fancies his chances with you. Why would he want to take you to lunch? I'd be suspicious.... (read in full...)

A check into his emails brings up many inappropriate texts between him and his ex!

Q.   What to do? Last night in a fit of temper following an argument with my boyf, i decided to go through his SMS inbox behind his back. at the time i justified it to myself by telling myself it was ok because he had done this to me in the past, and...

A.   26 September 2009: hiya, try and remember that this ex of his cannot take him away from you, no matter how hard she tries, unless he wants to be taken. This is all very raw and shocking to you at the minute so don't do anything for now. See how you feel in a few da... (read in full...)

Emotional abuse?

Q.   hi, i desperately need some advice, i have been with my partner for over 3 years now and then i found out that before i met him he used to download illegal porn and sell for money, as he said he needed the money. I found out that he lied on a few ...

A.   23 September 2009: You poor thing, my heart goes out to you. I would say this. What is it you want me to say exactly? This is a terrible situation you've got yourself into, and now i'd be concentrating on how you're going to get yourself out of it. Is this the... (read in full...)

How can I be there for him without making a bad situation worse?

Q.   How Do I save My Best Mate? As a single male I'm concerned for my male married friend and Neighbor.We have known each other for two years, he knocked on my door one day with a petition to sign. Since then we have become good friends we have the...

A.   23 September 2009: Hi, you sound like a great friend and he's lucky to have you. Obviously she sounds like a controlling shrew, but in my experience theres always 2 sides to every story and you may not be in receipt of the full facts. That way he can act the victim, ... (read in full...)

How can I pluck up the courage and talk to him again?

Q.   I really like this guy at church but I've never had the confidence to chat to him before, but recently at a friends suprise birthday party he started talking to me. We spoke for a long time and he was making a lot of eye contact with me but i was so ...

A.   23 September 2009: Hiya, Do you know what this guys situation is ? He may be with someone and thats the reason he's not coming forward. I know it can awkward when you like someone and your brain goes and thats natural, so don't worry. My advice is, if you are g... (read in full...)

Surely I deserve an apology???

Q.   Ok, so I found suggestive texts between him and her, flirting, goading, and daring one another, sexually explicit inuendoes that really hurt my feelings. Previously asked him to stop her sending innapropriate 'rude' jokes to him, but he chose to...

A.   21 September 2009: I can see this one from both sides. Of course he owes you an apology, his behaviour is very poor where you are concerned. You have to look at yourself as well. Raging and throwing things gets him totally off the hook, and you fell into his trap... (read in full...)

My Girlfriend is a Control Freak

Q.   I am a 46yr old man and have been dating my partner (26) for 7yrs and have a young son. My problem is my girlfriend is so very jealous and insecure. I was married before and have 4 children which my partner flatly refuses me to see, I have done my ...

A.   20 September 2009: I cannot believe your post! What sort of man doesn't see his children cos of what his girlfriend says? You're a poor excuse for a man and a father. As for your question, why not try laying the law down to her and telling her where to get off.... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't feel attached enough to be bothered if another man hits on me?!

Q.   I have been dating this guy for about a month now. Last night I was out with my sister and brother-in-law who happen to be roommates with my ex, so he was out with us. He was trying to hit on me and I turned him down because I am only interested in ...

A.   20 September 2009: Hi there, i agree with oldersister, i'm a little shocked at some of the other aunts comments to be honest. I think after a month you've got every right to be upset. He's sounds very sensitive to me and that was his ego talking, trying to be the ... (read in full...)

M I being melodramatic over him not getting me a b-day gift?

Q.   I'm still hurting over something my boyfriend did a few months back, even though i know it will sound trivial. Here goes: on the lead up to my birthday, he said he really wanted to get me something nice, pretty much bombarded me all week for hints ...

A.   16 September 2009: Hi honey, hope you're ok. This sounds terrible to me. Its outrageous he feels that this is acceptable. No wonder you're upset. If he's like this now, what will he be like in 6 or 12 months? If your best friend told you this story what would yo... (read in full...)

I'm shy does anyone have tips on talking to guys?

Q.   I am 20 years old and am always getting lots of random guys smile at me and even say hi when I just walk past them. This could happen at lots of places whether it be at work, uni, the shops, supermarket, cafe, beach etc... The thing is though ...

A.   15 September 2009: Hi, next time this happens and you would like to stop and talk, all you have to say is hi, do i know you? and smile. The guy will do the rest of the work. good luck x... (read in full...)

Should I say hi to him?

Q.   okay, i'm crazy about this guy. last year, i had a class with him and we would talk and joke and i'd be so nervous talking to him. then summer came and we didn't talk anymore. i saw him driving all the time and i know he saw me too. but he doesnt k...

A.   15 September 2009: Hi honey, Its always a bit awkward to think and talk sense when your with a guy you like isn't it lol. If i were you i'd wait till i saw him in school in the corridor and ask him for help with something. Guys like to be helpful. You'll have to ... (read in full...)

Did I completely kill our friendship?

Q.   Hi Well...theres this guy i've been crushing on for MONTHS. He said from the beginning that he cant see anything happening. But I continued to like him. Then it turned sour today. This is an extract from our MSN conversation: [HIM] said: I ...

A.   15 September 2009: Hi honey, I know you've had a big blow to your ego but you seem very over the top. Its not his fault if your not his cup of tea. Stop taking it so personally. You can't make him go out with you if he doesn't feel that way about you. Just ch... (read in full...)

Should I call him to confirm the date or should I wait for his call?

Q.   I had a very nice date last Friday with a man I met online. He bought my dinner, so I texted him the next day (Saturday) to say thank you and that I had a great time. In his text reply, he said we should get together again soon and after ...

A.   15 September 2009: wait for him to call or you may start a pattern. If he really likes you he'll call. End of story. good luck.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend will not stop groping me in public!

Q.   this is slightly, well very, embarrassing, I'm posting this out of sheer desperation, so please serious replies only! My boyfriend is um, rather disinihibited in public. This includes mainly groping my bum, breasts and talking about sex in ful...

A.   13 September 2009: Hi, i've been there and its absolutely mind boggling that after telling them to stop repeatedly they still continue. It all came to a head one day in the cinema queue. After telling him again and him doing it again, i lost the plot with him and ... (read in full...)

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