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*oo22

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Is cell phone snooping okay?

Q.   Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...

A.   30 May 2014: I am sure this opinion won't go down well, but i think if your partner is acting shady round their phone, then somethings up. If they take it with them everywhere they walk, even to the bathroom and keep it in their pockets at night etc... you get ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend sent me horribly abusive text messages but now claims he does not remember any of this!

Q.   My boyfriend recently called me fat on a voicemail message when he was out and I was out but seperatley he said answer your phone u fat b*****d on text me calling me an wh*re and never to bother him again. He said he cannot remember any of this but ...

A.   24 July 2012: Has this guy got a drink problem? If so, nothing good will happen until he addresses that xx... (read in full...)

Is he shy or is he not interested in me? any suggestions? I really like this guy

Q.   This guy I've known for about 3 months is really driving me crazy. He was interested in me at first, i think atleast, cause he randomly chatted me up on facebook. It was this guy I met when I passed by my old school, he was with some people that I ...

A.   22 July 2012: I'm so don't want to tell you this, but this is a classic case of ' He's just not that into you ' When you like someone, you want to see them all the time. Maybe he's gay? Stop contacting him and leave the ball in his court. Try and mo... (read in full...)

Could he be realising and reciprocating my feelings? or is he just enjoying the attention?

Q.   Dear cupid, I am so in love with a guy I have known as hi friends for 4 years.We have been flirting more and more and well, now we even joke about him being my long awaited guy. But he tells me for him, sex is an important part of the relation...

A.   30 April 2012: Yes, he might be realising his feelings or he could be enjoying the ego boost. Or he could be feeling both. It's too early to tell... just enjoy it xx... (read in full...)

Never physically attracted to my husband ... don't want sex!

Q.   I've been married for a little over 6 months, dated my husband for about a year and half. We lived together for a year before marrying. We married during a serious family crisis (one of my parents became sick and died). Up until the crisis, I had ...

A.   8 April 2012: Hi, thanks for the additional info. After reading your post, i wouldn't change my answer at all Stop wasting his time and your own xx... (read in full...)

Never physically attracted to my husband ... don't want sex!

Q.   I've been married for a little over 6 months, dated my husband for about a year and half. We lived together for a year before marrying. We married during a serious family crisis (one of my parents became sick and died). Up until the crisis, I had ...

A.   6 April 2012: What about your poor husband? Doesn't he have the right to be set free to be with someone who desires and wants him? Imagine he was writing this letter about you. You're not doing him any favours staying with him when he makes you cringe... (read in full...)

How do I cope with him not wanting me?

Q.   Hello everyone :) So there is this boy He is one year older than me And he is handsome To the most of the girls at my school incuding me And I used to really like this kid And I told him because I just needed to let it off my chest (it was...

A.   6 April 2012: Sorry you're going through this right now. Things are awkward between the two of you at the moment but this will pass in time. Things were fine between you two until you told him how you feel about him. As soon as you REALLY don't care ab... (read in full...)

I need to get past this shock!

Q.   I've been in a serious relationship for 16 months now and everything has been perfect. We never argue, enjoy each others company. Have lived together since August and continually talk about our future together. This morning however, he popped out to ...

A.   1 April 2012: A male friend of mine told me once " for every gorgeous hot chick out there in the world, there's a guy somewhere who's sick of having sex with her " This has a lot of truth to it hun ! Give the guy a chance to make things right. Just be h... (read in full...)

Is he cheating or is his story plausible?

Q.   Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...

A.   11 December 2011: Hi, I'm so sorry you are going through this. In my opinion someone who hacks a dating website account and then winks and favourites other women is as about as believable as the burglar who breaks into your house and then does the washing up and ... (read in full...)

My partner wont let me meet his new friend saying "it is MY friend, not yours". Reason to be suspicious?

Q.   Relationship dilemma. I have been in a 19 month relationship and things were excellent until a month ago. My partner decided to make friends with a bloke in his class and since this has occurred he has been very distant to me and weird acting. ...

A.   3 December 2011: Run for the hills!! He has no respect for you xx... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's love for anal sex is ruining our relationship

Q.   My man loves Anal sex, but I couldn't be more turned off by it. We are engaged to be married, and have been dating for three years. We have amazing sex, on the daily, but when it comes to anal, I'm just not in to it. This is creating some problems ...

A.   3 December 2011: Hi, I finished a relationship once over this very issue. Can you seriously see yourself taking it up the butt for ever more just to hold on to some guy? If the answer's yes then get married. Men can be so very selfish. Next time he brings up the ... (read in full...)

Fickle? what can I do? It took me courage to ask. She said yes. Then she just changed her mind

Q.   Hey peoples So here's the deal. Recently I told a girl that I really like her and she responded with the answer I had hoped for. Everything was great we made a plan to meet up and talk about things and see where things go, but 2 days late...

A.   30 October 2011: Hi M, I'm proud of you hun! You had the balls to ask her out and you did. The only bummer is the timing was wrong for you two that's all. Don't take it personally cos she was obviously emotionally invested in this guy before you got round to ... (read in full...)

Married man is trying to break the no contact rule

Q.   I have cut off a friendship with a married man because we are both attracted to each other and we both realized it should not go any further. We have had no contact for two months now. It has been hard but in that time, I have been trying to move on ...

A.   28 October 2011: Hi, Please don't read his coming back after 8 weeks as a sign that he is really serious about you. Nothing is any different for him than it was 2 months ago. He's back to test the waters. Do you want the drama? If he's got kids especially. T... (read in full...)

First (proper) date. A kiss - yes or no?

Q.   Essentially, I met a girl a few weeks ago who I took to straight away. We text every day - pretty much all day (with a few exceptions). We've also been out for a drink (just the two of us) and even though I wouldn't have classed it as a date, I ...

A.   28 October 2011: Mate, speaking as a woman, it'd be hotter if you go in for the kiss first and then tell her how you feel after. Just try and have the most fun together possible on the date and you won't have to worry about the big speech, it'll all happen natur... (read in full...)

He said he'd come over, I gave up, he then left a message. I ignored it. Did I do the right thing?

Q.   Hi I just started dating some one! He called me last night said he wanted to seeme before leaving town. His daughter called him and wanted him to come and see her before he left town. He ask me if he could come over when he got back from his ...

A.   28 October 2011: Hi, The guy may have any number of plausible excuses for his no show, but his big mistake was not texting or phoning when he knew it getting to 9.30 when he knew he was going to be a no show. Would you do that to a friend? It's bad manners. Tha... (read in full...)

We both had sex for the first time last night but he lost his erection!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for ten months today. And last night, we both gave each other our virginities. I am very tight though, it was our second attempt, But I finally had relaxed and found a position to get it in. I was in so much p...

A.   17 October 2011: Hi I think there is a lot of pressure around for sex to be perfect and amazing like it's portrayed in the movies and on tv. Real life sex is something else! Lots of people find having sex with there partner awkward for the first few times, i... (read in full...)

Confidence issues. Can I stop having off days?

Q.   Hi everyone, I wondered if you can tell me what's wrong with me (if anything is) I'm having some issues with confidence. I've always had an issue with confidence to some extent, but over the past few months I've tried to change. Some days I feel ...

A.   16 September 2011: I don't think you suddenly arrive at being this supreme confident being. I think it's an on going process to becoming confident over a lifetime Give yourself a break, you're doing really well! Every time you catch yourself being negative, ... (read in full...)

I've gained 40 lbs since he seen me last. Should I postphone meeting till I lose the weight?

Q.   6 years ago I regretably broke up with the greatest man I have ever been with. He recently found me. My concern is that at the time, when we were together, I was drop dead gorgeous. Since then, I have gained 40 pounds! I am scared to death of what ...

A.   16 September 2011: Hi, It's only important to know what your guy thinks about it isn't it? You'll be the best judge of that and not any of us.I would invest in a fantastic hairdo and outfit though. If he's right for you it won't matter. Good Luck xxx... (read in full...)

Should I believe in the fortune teller?

Q.   Hello everyone here in Dearcupid, I had something which is hard for me and make a decision. I went to met a fortune teller yesterday because i some people said he is famous at seeing people destiny, and he say a lot of bad about my future, he said ...

A.   16 September 2011: Hi, The best thing to do is to try to forget about it and live your life as if you never saw her. xx... (read in full...)

We have clicked as soul mates. She's married but doesn't like her spouse. Do I tell her I have feelings for her?

Q.   Well it's a hard situation. I work with this amazing girl and we talk all the time and can tell each other anything about anything. We hang out alot outside of work, text each other and can talk for hours. Unfortunately she is married and has been ...

A.   11 September 2011: If you know in your gut that your friend feels the same and it's not wishful thinking, then for god's sake tell her!! Life's too short for stuff like this. Why is she still in this marriage if it's not what she wants any more?? You talk like get... (read in full...)

Where can I get her some flowers at such short notice???

Q.   I went to Tesco to buy my girlfriend some roses for tomorrow, but they were all dried up and didn't look very nice. Obviously all the good ones were sold out. They had some others that cost £20 that looked nice but I couldn't afford that. This i...

A.   14 February 2011: I hear that Lidl or Aldi (can't remember which sorry) is doing 12 red roses for 5 pounds. Or try buying a single red rose and some chocolates. xx... (read in full...)

My friend is always late and it drives all of us crazy!

Q.   Frustrating! The only word to describe my friend! Everytime we organise to do something she runs LATE!! And what's even more annoying is she never has any real excuse as to why!! Now I can understand people being 10, 15 minutes late etc.. ...

A.   7 August 2010: Hi hun, I sympathise with you, it's really annoying isn't it lol. The only thing i can suggest is you tell her the restaurant is booked at 7 when really it's booked at 7.30 and things like that. This way she will only be a few minutes late. My ex ... (read in full...)

Two days after anal sex and I'm still bleeding. Is this normal?

Q.   I tried anal sex for the first time with my bf, and it hurt so I told him too pull it out even before it got all the way in. When I got home, and used the restroom -number2- I realized my anus was bleeding. This is the second day that it's been ...

A.   29 July 2010: Please listen to Honeypie!!!!! x... (read in full...)

Worried about b/f's health and weight

Q.   Hi :) my boyfriend is very heavy for his height and age. We've been together 7 months and I love him so much that I've actually realized sometimes i dont even think about what his body looks like because I'm so happy just being around him. But I do ...

A.   29 July 2010: It's him who has to handle this hun and not you. He has to face the reasons why he over eats and deal with them in order to make a lasting change. If he doesn't do that he'll be bingeing and dieting all his life and you won't be able to stop it. x... (read in full...)

He said " I love you" so soon! Does he really love me?

Q.   Before I ask this question I would just like to say - YES , I do really how stupid it is...but events leading up to this has caused me some serious paranoia. I need to sort my head out. I understand this is ridiculous but seriously just go with it, ...

A.   29 July 2010: Hun, please relax a bit. Like you said you've only been going out for 3 months. He's not going anywhere so just let the story unfold and enjoy the romance and fun of it. Guys say all sorts of things all the time. He likes being with you so take... (read in full...)

I want to find a man for my mom!

Q.   Im about to be a senior in highschool. My mother who is 42 just ended her 20 year marriage with my dad. Im worried for her. My dream was to always go to college in newyork and study abroad i have eerything figured out. i have the grades that ive ...

A.   29 July 2010: Men who are well off financially are usually so busy maintaining their status they have little or no time for relationships. A man is not necessarily the answer to your problems. Have you thought about encouraging her to make new friends and make... (read in full...)

I want to find a man for my mom!

Q.   Im about to be a senior in highschool. My mother who is 42 just ended her 20 year marriage with my dad. Im worried for her. My dream was to always go to college in newyork and study abroad i have eerything figured out. i have the grades that ive ...

A.   25 July 2010: Hi hun, it's not your job to find a man for your mum. It's not like finding her a new computer or car. Nobody can do this, you just have to wait and see what comes along for her. Your mum is the same age as me and someone will come along when the... (read in full...)

Husband hooking up on facebook with a woman he once cheated with!

Q.   My husband found a female that he cheated on his ex-wife with on Facebook. They started chating a calling each other and their conversations were of a sexual nature. When I confronted him he called me a unhappy, complaining snoop. He says he loves ...

A.   19 July 2010: Hun, this sounds really quite bad and i'm sorry it's happening to you. If he's not doing it for sex then it must be cos he doesn't value your feelings at all and is just taking the piss out of you. Tell him it's got to stop or walk away!!!... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as destiny?

Q.   Is there such a thing as Destiny? I'm asking this because I believe that me and an old friend of mine are meant to be together, despite our ups and downs. You know when you feel a connection with someone and there is so much tension when you...

A.   17 July 2010:  Destiny doesn't always imply a fairy tale ending hun. Your destiny may also be a lifetime of longing glances and chemistry etc in which he never quite closes the deal, and you'll have wasted your time. Look around for someone who actu... (read in full...)

I snooped through his phone, how can I get his trust back?

Q.   Hello everyone, Today I looked through my boyfriend's phone. I know it was wrong but I was just curious. Now hes terribly mad at me and won't speak to me. We live together and he is the love of my life. He put a lock on his phone and told me not ...

A.   12 July 2010: I think his reaction is way over the top. It's not the end of the world is it? Why is he so bothered, has he got something to hide? What's your reason for having a peak in the first place, you must be suspicious on some level? He sounds like a c... (read in full...)

Woman of my dreams left me for her abusive ex. What do I do?

Q.   Sorry in advance this is going to be a long one! I met a woman at work about a year ago and we clicked. Problem was that she was with someone else, but the relationship was rocky. As time went on we got closer and closer, even though I'd been ...

A.   11 July 2010: " part of me wants to protect her,part of me actually wants to cause her as much pain as she's caused me " Hun, that woman has already suffered agony and suffering that you can only imagine, don't wish any more on her. A woman just getting ... (read in full...)

Can a cold sore lead to genital herpes?

Q.   If I have a cold sore on my face and my boyfriend kisses me, if he performs oral sex can I get genital herpes from it?...

A.   3 July 2010: Yes and so can he if you have sex... (read in full...)

Could he love me but not be attracted to me?

Q.   Is it possible for a man to love you, but not be attracted to you?...And how likely is he to stay with you if he meets a woman he is attracted to? My b/f and I have been together 4 years and I sometimes get the feeling he's not that attracted to ...

A.   3 July 2010: I'd question whether you are in this relationship cos it's better than being alone. You need to tell him how you feel. If you don't feel desired this will have a terrible effect on your self esteem in the long term. When someone comes along that ... (read in full...)

Could he have fallen for me even though he is engaged?

Q.   I am in a bit of a situation and somehow not sure how to go about dealing with it. Someone was recently employed where I work and had to assist him in a lot of things when it came to ensuring that he settled in. To my ignorance, he then started ...

A.   25 June 2010: Hi , he probably does like you and my advice is to do nothing except be your normal lovely self and wait for him to come to you. If a guy wants to see you or talk to you, he's there!! You don't have to force it, let it happen naturally. Do... (read in full...)

I was playing matchmaker, but I really want him for myself

Q.   I'm in a major dilemma :( I met a guy 3 wks ago and we became good friends. The first couple times he was really polite and gentleman like (walked me to my car, got me chocolate, etc.) just really really REALLY sweet. Then we started hangin...

A.   25 June 2010: Hi there, 1/ Don't tell him. He can figure that out for himself. 2/ You can't unfortunately, he either fancies you or he doesn't 3/ Don't confess! 4/ Let him come to you. good luck x... (read in full...)

Farewell from an aunt

Q.   After being an aunt on this wonderful site for well over 5 years, I've decided to finally see the writing on the wall and call it quits. I truly gave it my best shot and spoke the truth as I know it to be. I will always treasure my time here and the ...

A.   20 June 2010: Hi Eyes, You were a fantastic aunt..good luck with everything x... (read in full...)

How do I talk to my supermarket crush?

Q.   i was wondering if anyone can help me. i seen this guy at a super market 4 times. and during those times hes been staring at me a lot. and he even asked me once if he was in my way while i was trying to look for something while he was beside m...

A.   12 June 2010: Next time you see him be brave and go up to him and say hi i always think i know you from somewhere when i see you in here but i can't place you. That then gives you the chance to start chatting about what part of town he's from and get to know him ... (read in full...)

Will I be able to find a woman if I follow my dream career?

Q.   Do people still meet potential partners after university? I'm 22 and the annoying thing is that I am confident now to talk to female strangers, particularly ones that I find attractive and used to find intimidating as most are the same in that the...

A.   29 May 2010: civil engineering is hot !... (read in full...)

Can I keep what happened with my brother in law from my husband?

Q.   I am in a situation that I would have never in a million years believed that I could be in. I have never been unfaithful to anyone - ever. I think that trust and honesty are two of the most important things in a successful relationship and...

A.   28 May 2010: This happened to a close friend of mine and her husband is still none the wiser so there's definitely hope for you so keep absolutely quiet and you'll be ok... (read in full...)

Can some Turkish people please tell me how serious it is to meet Turkish parents?

Q.   I have been dating a Turkish man born in Konya for 6 months, including a 3-month long-distance period. Recently, his family came to visit him and he hasn't mentioned me in front of his family at all. He directly told me that at this st...

A.   25 May 2010: Hi honey I just spotted your question. I used to live in Istanbul and still have a lot of Turkish friends and from what I understand when you are introduced to his family it's a very big deal. In his mum and dad's eyes you will be potentia... (read in full...)

Does anyone know why this is happening?

Q.   I really need some advice before this kills me. In november i got mild thush whilst i was on holiday, i couldnt find any thrush treatment and i was in turkey so i didnt really want to guess what i thought was thrush treatment. When i got home ...

A.   23 May 2010: Sweetie you don't have to wait 11 days to see a doctor. Ring the surgery tomorrow and demand to see a doctor. You don't have to explain why to the receptionist and you can demand that a doctor phones you that day even if you can't get seen. If yo... (read in full...)

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