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What do you think of men who swear in front of ladies?

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Question - (23 February 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2016)
A female Romania age 41-50, anonymous writes:

What do you think about people (especially men) who swear in the presence of ladies? (swearing not targeted at the ladies, but rather at things or situations).

Having been brought up with high regard for politeness and good manners, if a man uses profanity in my presence, I will still think he may be a good person in his heart, but I will probably lose a bit of admiration (or more) if he's in the habit of swearing often.

This will not show in my interactions with him, as I make no attempt to correct such behaviour, and try my best not to force my preference upon anyone. (I will not applaud it either or seek such company often.)

It is somewhat puzzling to see quite a few university graduates, thinking their use of profanity should not only be tolerated, but actually seen as common as a "good day" greeting.

When did using tastelessly indecent language stop being regarded as poor/rude manners?... and why?...

View related questions: university

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (25 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntTimes are moving forward now, men swear in front of women, women have equal rights. More likely than not it has become more acceptable for swearing to be part of a conversation, just like more people are moving in together and having children before marriage. Like women are out working the same as men instead of being at home. Its just the way the world is moving.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016):

I think it comes from people's upbringing, if you live in a house where everybody swears then you are going to be just the same. I think people swear a lot more these days and I absolutely detest people who swear when children are around. I swear sometimes but I never do it in front of the children.

However, I don't think women should be treated any differently than men, I'm not some hardcore feminist but I don't see why a man should alter his behaviour to suit me. Women swear as well so why should men have to watch what they say when women are just as bad. I have noticed that some people say words that are extremely explicit in public more and more often such as the C word, if I hear somebody saying that I think there's something a bit wrong with them!

The reason that you think good old fashioned manners are dying out is because as time goes on things become more acceptable. Think back to say 50 years ago there were probably loads of customs people had that aren't around today, think of the way people spoke on the radio or in a movie. Swearing and nudity was banned in the media years ago but now all of that has changed. Times just move on and people start using different terminology and slang.

I say men and women swear but obviously there are lots of people out there that don't and if you don't like people using bad language in front of you you can just avoid them in future.

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2016):

boo22 agony auntThey don't know any better .

The only way you will know their character is you ask them to stop because you don't like it x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Please try and view the issue as a big picture, if possible, I am interested generally speaking on views regarding good manners, and to my knowledge, foul language has always been considered inappropriate and incompatible with politeness and good education. Is this old-age etiquette on the verge of extinction nowadays, what is causing this, what are you views.

For example, I might understand an occasional outburst out of frustration, for example. But generally for me, decency is a sign that he respects himself and his audience as well, regardless of gender. I stressed on behaviour towards ladies because I am particularly interested in that part.

Of course that being very refined and polite shouldn't involve a lot of self control and switching attitudes like masks depending on the audience you address (it should come rather naturally, like a reflex), but my initial wish was not to go to such great level of detail.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI personally don't like swearing, but I equally see both women and men swearing so it isn't really a gender issue more a humanity issue. The way I see it is they are free to say what they want to who they want, its a basic human right, and as long as they are not targeting me then who am I to judge them?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (24 February 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I find a bit curious that you mention " in front of ladies ". Not to pass myself as a second wave feminist, or uber-PC, but... what has it got to do the gender of the swearer with that of those who hear the swearing ?

If you dislike the use of profanities, and you do not condone it or tolerate it, that will be ALWAYS , I guess.

If you strongly disapprove of PEOPLE ( males and females,- females can swear too ) using profanities, you disapprove them whether they use them in front of ladies OR gentlemen . What difference does it make who's the audience, when it is the action in itself that, in your opinion, is highly reproachable ? ( not saying that you are wrong to prefer a swear free language and a well mannered demeanour- but the way you posed your question sort of implies that if your date says " blank blank blank " in front of other guys, then it's not as bad and your opinion about the swearer would not change as much. Why ?!)

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