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My name's Anna, a mod on DC since 2007, I feel we have here a small community I grew very fond of as I am always looking forward to read your thoughts, I like the exchange of experiences and I think this is a wonderful site as it provides us with the opportunity to be solidary and learn from one another.
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I still love her but the romance is gone, how do I get it back?
Q. Hi, I met a girl 2 years ago and fell deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, she had an ex partner who has been a nightmare. She had a child by him too. The problem is that due to all the stress and drama caused by her ex, the romance has been los...
A. 18 June 2010: PS: I will take a wild guess here and suppose you might think wrong tactics welcomed more drama caused by the ex, maybe your girlfriend didn't know how to best protect her new family from this ex. I can't think of anything more off-putting. Of ... (read in full...)
I still love her but the romance is gone, how do I get it back?
Q. Hi, I met a girl 2 years ago and fell deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, she had an ex partner who has been a nightmare. She had a child by him too. The problem is that due to all the stress and drama caused by her ex, the romance has been los...
A. 17 June 2010: Hard to go through difficult times with love alone. The relationship can result more or less damaged and you don't want to adopt a lackadaisical attitude towards it, and hope that problems are solved by themselves. So it's great that you want to ... (read in full...)
I figure after 5 years we should be on some sort of life path, and we're not...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years, and lived together for 3. About 2 years ago, he moved to NC to go to school, then he quit school and came back to live with me in FL. We both decided that we would rather live in NC than FL, that was ...
A. 17 June 2010: Well, I gather he is from the same age group? It's not surprising in this case that he doesn't know - what he wants out of life. Many don't, at this age, especially men who tend to mature later. You want to see him more responsable, hitting his ... (read in full...)
Did we over react in this situation?
Q. I (we) don't really need relationship advice, but our question does have to do with male/female situations I guess. My wife got a really great job, but it's about 3 hours away from our home. My company is opening a new branch very close to where m...
A. 16 June 2010: A good plan though, I must say. You bring a buddy in an already rented section to walk around naked and hope the initial renter leaves and doesn't take proceedings against you. Then you can rent to another.
Good idea for a business.... (read in full...)
Did we over react in this situation?
Q. I (we) don't really need relationship advice, but our question does have to do with male/female situations I guess. My wife got a really great job, but it's about 3 hours away from our home. My company is opening a new branch very close to where m...
A. 16 June 2010: You did not overreact. A wicked man this is - you paid for three rooms and for no reason is it acceptable to share two of them with someone else, especially a man who walks around naked. Without your consent sharing YOUR rented patch of land with a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that we will eventually have a relationship?
Q. Is it possible to know if you probably will end up with someone at some point? There's this guy who is one of my best friends and I know him incredibly well, like, including all his wank fantasies and alternative methods of wanking and we've re...
A. 14 June 2010: Obviously something was missing from your relationship since it did not go further than FWB. You can trick yourself thinking he will at some point see you as his match and best choice or you can forget him and move on to someone who values you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried the man I have met online might think I am a gold digger!
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help me out on this one. I got talking to this guy on a free online dating site. He is a decade older than me and just instant messaged me out of the blue. We talked for a few hours online and exchanged numbers etc. H...
A. 9 June 2010: The way you think leaves you in a disadvantaged position, if it's always what can I do to appear this and that (vs. what are others doing/have done to earn my trust/time/etc). First of all, neither one of you has nothing to prove to the other. Just ... (read in full...)
I'm beginning to consider walking away from the one man I've ever loved. Is this a good idea?
Q. I have a question about guys who get into their comfort zones. So I've been with the same guy for the past nine years. A typical Ross/Rachel type relationship - soulmates.. not always OFFICIALLY together.. but never really been apart.. you know...
A. 29 May 2010: The perfect guy for you will want to commit to you, so allow me to doubt he is perfect. The decision is yours alone, to give some input, however, I think the consequences of your decision are life altering. Let's just see. You may get along perfectl... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to fight in public over a woman?
Q. This is not a relationship question but perhaps some of the aunts will spare a minute to satisfy my curiosity. Yesterday we had a long thread on DC about a violent brawl in a pub between two young men fighting over a girl. Regardless of the OP's...
A. 28 May 2010: Common among the uneducated perhaps and mostly accepted in the same area. Someone with self control and self respect naturally doesn't lower to such level. Also domestic violence seems more prevalent among the uneducated although isn't missing from ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems keen on having a baby, but says it's not 'good timing'. What should I do?
Q. Hi. I want to have kids, I want it so bad, but my boyfriend (lived together for 1 year, dated for 2) doesn't seem completely sure. He seems very keen on having kids but also says its not "good timing". I've just finished studying and I don't have a ...
A. 27 May 2010: It would probably be wiser to wait. And how will you support yourself and the child if you break up? Preferably find a job firstly and do a proper planning. Both of you should be pretty certain, and make the decision together. I don't agree with ... (read in full...)
Husband is about to cheat. Please help me make the right decision.
Q. Hi. I am married 13 years. I married my high school sweetheart. we have been together for 25 years. We have only had sex with each other. My husband recently turned 40 and feels he has missed out on something, specifically sex with other women. ...
A. 16 May 2010: So you were one of two couples having sex in the same room. If I understand well. Oh well, there is a number of ways to spice up a monotonous sex life, and truth be told, I have the feeling yours wasn't that lacking in variety, after all. But who ... (read in full...)
Husband is about to cheat. Please help me make the right decision.
Q. Hi. I am married 13 years. I married my high school sweetheart. we have been together for 25 years. We have only had sex with each other. My husband recently turned 40 and feels he has missed out on something, specifically sex with other women. ...
A. 15 May 2010: I see you have tried the softy approach, dear, the reviving of romance, the understanding. AuntyEm is spot on. Hubby needs to realise the seriousness of his actions. His feelings of missing out, yes, can occur sometimes when the couple has been tog... (read in full...)
What can I do for my husband to acknowledge all my hard work, love and support?
Q. I've been with my "boyfriend" for four years. We're not married, but no less serious. We have two wonderful children. He works construction seven days a week and I am a nurse. We don't see each other as often as I'd like, but I try to put myself ...
A. 15 May 2010: I think it's lovely how you care for him, prepare him breakfast for the road and the rest of the things you do. You seem a caring wife. But with how the situation is playing out, you might eventually stop doing that or start doing it out of duty. ... (read in full...)
Am I really attracted to my husband's best friend or is this only happening because my marriage is on the rocks?
Q. I fancy my Husbands best friend - is it just because my marriage is on the rocks? My husband and i have been together for 10 years but only married for 3. Earlier this year we began to have major problems in our relationship and therefore jointl...
A. 13 May 2010: Your thoughts of cheating mean simply as you say, that your marriage is on the rocks. Try to stay away from this friend, if you honestly don't wish to cheat. One thing will lead to another and then you'll say it was unintended. I don't know if you ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to resolve our problems?
Q. First of all i would like to apologize for the long story here Okay its like this, i have been in a relationship with this girl for 4 and half years now, i was working abroad in Malaysia for the first 2 years and we were together, for the past few...
A. 2 May 2010: ...Oh no, I haven't been in a LDR and I would not be able to, I prefer frequent contact; it is possible that I could agree to one temporarily if the relationship started geografically close and for some reason it transitioned to a long distance one, ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to resolve our problems?
Q. First of all i would like to apologize for the long story here Okay its like this, i have been in a relationship with this girl for 4 and half years now, i was working abroad in Malaysia for the first 2 years and we were together, for the past few...
A. 2 May 2010: Unfortunately, the effort you put into something doesn't always lead to the best result or the one expected, the visits and the 4 years I don't doubt mean something but somehow they don't seem to suffice or you wouldn't be having these problems, ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to resolve our problems?
Q. First of all i would like to apologize for the long story here Okay its like this, i have been in a relationship with this girl for 4 and half years now, i was working abroad in Malaysia for the first 2 years and we were together, for the past few...
A. 2 May 2010: I see a lot of confusion in this relationship, a lot of what is she thinking, where is this heading, the relationship has been tough as you confess, and that alone should tell you to take it easy and think about things calmly and rationally. It se... (read in full...)
Is it my fault he is controlling and abusive?
Q. Please help me I am so lost...I asked for advice a few months ago about part of my situation...I'm 21 and when I was just turned 18 I cheated on my then boyfriend with a guy who turned out to be a complete stalker/ obsessed compulsive lair. Let's ...
A. 20 April 2010: You 'are not allowed' to go outside... As if you were 10 and he was your parent. Dump this abuser and controlling person. Next time a new boyfriend asks about anything from your past you do not feel comfortable to discuss, tell him just that, I ... (read in full...)
How can we get past his emotional affair?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. A few months ago, I found out the man in my life had been having an emotional (non sexual) affair with a friend of his that he's had for the past decade. This girl is absolutely besotted with him and he was giving h...
A. 15 April 2010: I doubt that you were best friends when he strayed - that's why this all happened, he probably felt more emotionally close to somebody else. Why you neglected to provide each other the necessary emotional support during that time, only you can know: ... (read in full...)
Is sex something bonding for women?
Q. Do women become more attached to men they've had sex with? I've had a drawn-out flirtation with a woman. We are never single at the same time. I sometimes wonder if she thinks about me (we were pretty inappropriate for a while at one point when I ...
A. 14 April 2010: That is more of a friendship to me, she comes to you from time to time to catch up, tells you about her exes, etc? But why not during their dating, she doesn't contact you then? She may have a 'thing' for you, and she likes to talk to you when she ... (read in full...)
How do I get our old selves and love life back?
Q. Hi all! I need some help and fast! I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years (this new yrs eve coming) and we have a 1 yr old son together. We have been to hell and back together we lost a baby when we 1st got together and we also lost twin g...
A. 14 April 2010: You should have discussed before he left if you would keep in touch during this week, how or how often, can you call him, etc. If you haven't, wait a day or two and call, ask if he needs anything and wish him good wishes, talk also about staying in ... (read in full...)
The sex is very bad. I have to keep reassuring him about his penis, he has some annoying habits in bed and he keeps forgetting where my clitoris is! I'm tired of faking it!
Q. When I have sex with my boyfriend he does some really annoying things. He likes to listen to the radio and sing in my ear while he's on top of me. I hate that. I told him that I didn't like that and he got his feelings hurt. So every now and ...
A. 14 April 2010: Firstly, stop faking. There is no being upset allowed when you are trying to understand about each other's preferences, you have received great advice so far, try and apply these and see how the situation improves, of course, don't wait for quick im... (read in full...)
How can we get past his emotional affair?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. A few months ago, I found out the man in my life had been having an emotional (non sexual) affair with a friend of his that he's had for the past decade. This girl is absolutely besotted with him and he was giving h...
A. 14 April 2010: Yes, that is pretty much how it starts, the two good friends making intimate confessions to each other about their messy love lives, in this case, she was in a bad relationship and you two had begun to become estranged from one another. Mix that ... (read in full...)
Agony aunts forever!
Q. I was wondering how I can get paid to become an agony aunt, I love helping others and answering questions, its one of my passions. thankyhuu x...
A. 8 April 2010: Does your school have personnel that offers guidance career-wise / that evaluates your skills and options, if so talk about several options that you have. They can help you establish if that is what you really wish for and how your skills recommend ... (read in full...)
Passion!
Q. This guy I've known for a year, has recently been flirting with me. He is younger, and at first I shrug it off and enjoyed the attention! But then I started to feel attracted to him and made it known, which I think kind of scared him a little bit. ...
A. 8 April 2010: That's why I prefer being friends before dating, you would know more then, what to expect. Passion could mean he wants you to just reiterate the offer. I can't promise you it will be more than a fling, it sounds very much like one. If you ar... (read in full...)
I feel depressed, withdrawn and wish there was some way to make it work. But she cheated!
Q. My girlfriend and I have had problems from the start - 8 years ago and counting. I've read through several other posts and this may seem all to familiar, but I need some advice - I'm currently taking anxiety meds to try and cope. When I met her...
A. 27 March 2010: No, you shouldn't answer like that to your daughter. If she is feeling close enough to you to call you 'daddy' and talk to you about her memories and the feelings they bring, you want to show her loving attention, not tell her to shut up.
This ... (read in full...)
Wife says she is faithful, but likes teasing other guys?
Q. My wife and I are in our lower 30's and had a recent bad period where she said she was bored with our relationship and wanted to leave me. I made some changes and started spending more time with her and was able to turn things around. Even though ...
A. 25 March 2010: Flirting is not necessarily a danger to the main relationship as some don't mean to take it further BUT at the same time she is bored of your relationship, and that changes the situation and shows she is not as committed/interested as you are; this ... (read in full...)
I feel depressed, withdrawn and wish there was some way to make it work. But she cheated!
Q. My girlfriend and I have had problems from the start - 8 years ago and counting. I've read through several other posts and this may seem all to familiar, but I need some advice - I'm currently taking anxiety meds to try and cope. When I met her...
A. 23 March 2010: Thus, she lies, is jealous of your daughter, she likes to have you under her thumb all the time. Of course you feel depressed, with this having been going on for many years, it's actually regrettable that you ended up being put on medication because ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married and in love with someone else...who is also married. I'm so confused
Q. Hello everyone, I have a long story but I'll try to make it short... I'm practically a newlywed with only 7 years of marriage (religious by the way); we were bf and gf for 8 years. Of those 8 years, he spent 6 on another country, first doing a ...
A. 7 March 2010: I can't make the decision for you but I can tell you this. Rule number one. You say it's tearing you apart to break your marriage - for all you know, the coworker could feel the same and back up last moment. The point is, if you are going to brea... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married and in love with someone else...who is also married. I'm so confused
Q. Hello everyone, I have a long story but I'll try to make it short... I'm practically a newlywed with only 7 years of marriage (religious by the way); we were bf and gf for 8 years. Of those 8 years, he spent 6 on another country, first doing a ...
A. 6 March 2010: How do you know the coworker isn't only looking for an affair? They all say they are going to leave their wives. You know nothing about him other than the side he wants to show you. You probably wouldn't have noticed him, had your marriage been ... (read in full...)
Since getting back together over a year ago, she hasn't told anyone.
Q. Been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, she is 24. At first it was great, we saw each other all the time, we kissed and held each other a lot, we had lots of sex, we talked about the future and getting a place together. After a year and a hal...
A. 28 February 2010: What she feels about you is more of a sickly, unruly kind of love, which isn't love at all... in fact (she doesn't trust you, won't commit, but needs you and can't be without you). She has issues. You on the other hand have the right to remain sane. ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to win her back?
Q. Hi everyone, sorry this is a long one ! I recently had an issue with my girlfriend. I came home one night and she asked me to move out as it was her house. We had been together for 9 months and lived together for most of that time as well. I'm 27 ...
A. 22 February 2010: Did you see the break up coming, was your relationship more tense around that time for any certain reason? My guess is that you moved in too quickly, at nearly the beginning of the relationship, when you didn't know each other too well. This might ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if there may be a chance in the future once his head is back in play?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for around 6mths and he's recently left his wife. The last 6 weeks have been hell. He's completely changed. Last week he said he needed some space to sort things out and his divorce etc, he said he loved me and that once ...
A. 20 February 2010: How after 2 days he can no longer love you? - Well, if he is like me, having just gotten out of a marriage he would feel better to stay at more or less the same level and not go back to irresponsibility, and/or getting drunk. Supposing he's been ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband of 4 years to be more affectionate?
Q. My husband of soon 4yrs is no longer affectionate towards me. I tried talking to him about it and he says I'm annoying that I always want attention! when we dated he always wanted to be with me held my hand everywhere, why would I think he would ...
A. 19 February 2010: I like the last reply. Affection goes hand in hand with friendship, trust etc. You may have to build on other weak parts of your marriage in order for this problem to improve, as well.... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband of 4 years to be more affectionate?
Q. My husband of soon 4yrs is no longer affectionate towards me. I tried talking to him about it and he says I'm annoying that I always want attention! when we dated he always wanted to be with me held my hand everywhere, why would I think he would ...
A. 19 February 2010: It happens to many couples, life gets in the way and the routine and you start taking each other for granted. A quick peck on the lips before you go to work, then you forget to do even that and it soon becomes a habit. You are going to have to know ... (read in full...)
My husband and I don't have sex anymore and we can't have kids. Should I leave him?
Q. I have been married for two years to a man who is much older than I, (he's 64, I'm 34) and lately, we have been having some issues serious enough for me to question whether or not we made the right decision. My husband has two adult daughters ...
A. 19 February 2010: You are right, it's not easy for you to find anyone - WHILE you are already married, I should add. If thinking you will not be able to find a suitable partner is all that keeps you in this marriage, you are pretty much on your own already. The ... (read in full...)
I feel I hurt his ego by saying no to being with him...
Q. My good friend and i accidentally fell for each other while he was in a relationship with a miss 6 years younger than him. regardless of their indifferences, i knew my friend loved her and worked to keep the relationship going. we exerted hard to ...
A. 7 February 2010: Well, you would have said no to yourself if you had said yes to him. If you weren't ready/sure, fair enough. I'm sure you rejected him in a kind way. He should understand the choice that you made, have you not talked since then? I hope you managed ... (read in full...)
Sex with a confidant, should I let him know I enjoyed it?
Q. Hi i'm in a dilemma. I'm married and sought a male confidante (who is married)online almost 1 year ago..it was wonderful..being able to share everything. He did share things also but after awhile. 1 month ago, we met for a few hours. Initially ju...
A. 3 February 2010: Why would you want to tell him this? You don't provide this simple information. To say you enjoyed sex with him has nothing to do with how you value his friendship, by the way, just to clear that up. I'm afraid this is more than friendship, also. ... (read in full...)
Does he mean it when he says he never wants to get married again?
Q. PLease help! I went on a date with a man that is twice divorced and 50 years old. His first wife cheated on him and the second wife took him for everything financialy. We met the other day for a casual meeting. He is nice and funny. He was with a ...
A. 2 February 2010: I think he expressed himself in no vague terms, he doesn't wish to marry again and yes, it seems he has been burnt in the past and that is part of the reason behind this decision, probably the age too. So I don't think he is leaving much to ... (read in full...)
I am tired of my boyfriend being too relaxed on the weekends to go out.
Q. I have a demanding 4 year old boy and a boyfriend of 1 year. We see each other twice a week. Half of the time he calls to say his shift happens to be short that day so he could see me. The other times we call on the weekends and hope we would meet ...
A. 1 February 2010: This is more serious than I thought. Sometimes (as I thought) would be understandable, but if he is always tired and in pain why doesn't he see a doctor, have you suggested this? There is a possibility that he isn't very interested in your ... (read in full...)
I am tired of my boyfriend being too relaxed on the weekends to go out.
Q. I have a demanding 4 year old boy and a boyfriend of 1 year. We see each other twice a week. Half of the time he calls to say his shift happens to be short that day so he could see me. The other times we call on the weekends and hope we would meet ...
A. 31 January 2010: It seems this is pretty frustrating for you and that it will take more effort than you are showing currently in order to keep this relationship going and growing. I presume he's always lacked a bit at this chapter, not being too organised? I'm sure ... (read in full...)
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