Beast or lover?
Q. Hi, guys, i need your advice. I've recently been dating a guy and im not sure of his character. He victimised a previous ex girlfriend by hacking into her mobile phone and monitored her messages. He shared intimate details of her to his friends and ...
A. 8 June 2009: Get away as fast as you can. Basically people don't change. ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that I can't trust my wife?
Q. My wife continues to buy weed and smoke it behind my back. She cannot wait till we are together to share in the stuff that we buy together. She hides it, she hides her useage, and she hides her connection and of course when and where. I see nothing ...
A. 5 June 2009: Yes.... (read in full...)
Husband wished happy birthday to his ex should I be bothered by it?
Q. I just found an email of my husband's ex thanking him for remembering her birthday and that he made her laugh. I've always felt that he stills has feelings for her and that he always remembers her for any insignificant reason. Am I crazy for ...
A. 5 June 2009: Would you want to be married to a man who is capable of completely cutting off all feeling for someone who, at one time (not now), was very important to him? Obviously he needs to keep it within appropriate limits but I think it displays emotional ... (read in full...)
Honestly guys, do you really like the taste?
Q. My boyfriend goes down on me a lot and when he kisses me I can taste it and its so gross! He says I taste good but I feel like he is just saying that to make me feel better. Do guys really like how a girl tastes down there?...
A. 21 May 2009: I certainly do. Of course a little basic hygiene is in order and a nice trim, no one likes a mouthful of hair... but frankly if we are really into you then there isn't any part of you that doesn't taste good.
As others have said it is a highly i... (read in full...)
Is there a textbook on love?
Q. Hi everyone. I am now living in another city to work. Every now and then, I feel want to call my gf to talk. When I think about it, I been calling her 2 to 3 times a day, mostly during our lunch time and while she is driving home. We get less thi...
A. 16 May 2009: You know deep down that you are calling too often and that it is good for you, good for her and good for your relationship to let her miss you a bit and let her imagine that you are an important guy busy doing important stuff. It is really hard ... (read in full...)
I was just wondering generally do MOST men cheat?
Q. I was just wondering generally do MOST men cheat? I blame my male friends for making me have this opinion because as lovely as they all are and as much as they love their gfs, they have all cheated at some point and don't seem to think that it is...
A. 12 April 2009: A high proportion of men will cheat in the right circumstances where the odds of getting caught are low. Where I live it is common practice for a businessman to take guests after dinner to a private room in a Karaoke bar. There are, of course, ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm the ultimate "generic" girl
Q. I'm feeling sad because I'm starting to wonder if the reason I've had nothing but back luck (with guys) in my 29 years is because there is something wrong with me. Other girls have boyfriends who love them, and I wish and wish I could know what ...
A. 22 March 2009: Wow. If I wasn't a 15 hour flight away I'd come and give you a hug. Don't worry about your talents. Most men, even good ones, are basically self-centred and they will love you for what you see in them much more than what they see in you. If... (read in full...)
Doggy style...did I lose my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I, are/were both virgins. I'm 13 and He's 15. We did "doggy style" tonight for the very first time, No protection was used. So did I actually..lose my virginity? That's the thing I'm confused about....
A. 22 March 2009: Its a question of what you mean by Doggy Style. Did his dick actually go inside you or were you flat on your front with his dick between your butt cheeks or upper thighs? If the former then yes, virginity gone but if the latter then you should be ... (read in full...)
How long do you last for sex?
Q. Heya mates !!! What is the average time for sex? How much do you last for sex? My problem when i 'm having sex i quickly ejaculate. How can i help it? I'm devasted . I 'm NOT enjoying my sex....
A. 22 March 2009: DoubleM's advice is spot on. Also you might consider a little practice session in advance which will put you on less of a hair trigger.
Bear in mind that by the time you're in your 40s you'll be wishing you could get it done in less than an hour!... (read in full...)
Can two people can have such a special connection and continue to stay in touch and see each other every few months without hurting their marriages?
Q. Is it ever true that two people can have such a special connection and continue to stay in touch and see each other every few months without hurting their marriages? Or is that a fantasy? ...
A. 12 February 2009: Yes you can make it work. Of course it is possible to deep loving feelings for more than 1 person at a time. You have one, short, life and whilst doing all in your power not to hurt any of those you love you are entitled to seek as much joy and ... (read in full...)
I would love to give him oral too...
Q. My boyfriend gives me oral sex but he never asks me... but I really want to do it. What should I do? I'm afraid of what he might think of me if one day after he gives me oral I just bend down and give him oral, what do you think?...
A. 30 January 2009: Do it.... (read in full...)
Can a man "secretly" love someone if he's involved with someone else?
Q. Is it possible for a man to "secretly" love a woman if he is involved with someone else? I don't think it's possible - in fact, I don't think a man would waste his time with one woman if his real heart's desire were available. But if his real love ...
A. 29 January 2009: For some men their "real heart's desire" as you put it is to love more than one woman and to be loved back. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about bachelor party, strippers & lap dances!
Q. Hello, I'm getting married and well, of course I'm excited. My fiancee is great. He truly is. But I have a bit of a problem regarding the bachelor party. I don't think he'll cheat. But of course there will be strippers. it's a tradition, and...
A. 29 January 2009: Trust me, there is nothing particularly sexy about having a stripper bounce around on your lap when you are the centre of attention in a room full of your drunk friends. It is mainly just somewhere on the funny to embarrassing spectrum. His friends ... (read in full...)
What happens when frenulum breaks during sex?
Q. Hi, I have frenulum breve and I am a virgin. I am concerned of what happens when the frenulum breaks during sex. I mean i want to know from people that actually happened to them and as many details as possible because i am kinda scared of what will ...
A. 27 January 2009: Seriously you have enough concerns the first time that you have sex without having the risk of painful injury on your mind. If it happened to be the first time for the girl as well then well it simply wouldn't be fair to risk messing up her first ... (read in full...)
I'm getting a complex because of my girlfriend's nature of work..
Q. My girlfriend who works as a radiographer keeps telling me and joking to me about all these men whose genitals she sees in detail and it makes me very uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure why it does, I'm very self conscious about my genitals, ...
A. 27 January 2009: She's just teasing you.
The men whose bits she sees at work are in hospital because they have a medical problem. They are likely a) older b) not in good general health and c) terribly embarrassed that people are looking at their genitals... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend a complete miser for not spending on me?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for approximately 3 months now. We have a fantastic relationship, we never argue, spent plenty of time together and have an incredibly loving bond. I can without doubt say that she fulfills my every need both ...
A. 26 January 2009: If you want balance then realise that you control only one side of the scales. Do less, unless that is you think that you can keep up your current level of effort for ever. It seems as if you are creating expectations that you will never be ab... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with this other man even although I know I shouldn't???
Q. I've read a lot of questions here and other sites about being married, and getting obsessed with another man.... I'm in the same boat.... married 16 years.... Current financial and job related stresses for my DH. I've traveled the world with him ...
A. 26 January 2009: You should do it. It could save you and it could save your marriage and it will be fun so long as you do it right. It is perfectly possible to have an affair whilst remaining deeply in love with your husband, indeed by making you feel better abou... (read in full...)
What's the big fuss about being ginger?
Q. Im just wandering do men get put off by ginger public hair? Whats the big fuss bout gingers?...
A. 25 January 2009: Put off? Why on earth? Obviously keep everything down below neat and tidy but in my book ginger beats the "boring" hair colours every day. As for your hair on top, the longer and wilder the better.... (read in full...)
What do guys think of red heads and freckles?
Q. I have red hair and freckles and sometimes i'm self conscience about them because i feel "different" per say. What are male opinions about red heads?...
A. 24 January 2009: Love them. Keep your hair long and wild.... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat and then regret it?
Q. I've read a lot of columns involving how much people regret cheating on their spouses. Some of these people cheat and wonder why their spouses leave them? Why do it when the consequences are known to be the obvious results of the other person...
A. 23 January 2009: 48 years has it about right.
There is a flaw that allows otherwise intelligent people to ignore the consequences of our actions. Affairs ARE intensely gratifying both sexually and emotionally. In a person with the right weakness (and with the... (read in full...)
I want to have a relationship and it be sexual but I have problems
Q. Hello I'm 30, male, divorced and I have a dilemma. I want to have a girlfriend, and I would like the relationship to be sexual. The problem is that I also don't want to upset any girl if I like her enough to be interested in her. I have n...
A. 22 January 2009: Someone loved you enough to marry you - at least for a while - that's something.
The fact that she assumed that you were going to get a well paid job must mean that you have a decent education which means that you have options.
It sounds to ... (read in full...)
I wantto contact the other woman!
Q. Okay I think I am completely losing my mind now. For some crazy reason I am having urges to contact the other woman. And not in a mean way either. Maybe it is the whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer thing"? He wrote her a ...
A. 21 January 2009: The comment about trying to keep everyone happy rings true. Depending on how long his affair has been going on he will feel real obligations to the other woman. Of course yes his obligations to you are greater - should be much greater - but the ... (read in full...)
Difference between gut feeling & being paranoid
Q. Hi, After a partner has cheated how to you differenciate between "am I just been paranoid" or is this "my gut feeling". My b/f cheated last year. We're trying to work things out and it seems to be fine. We live apart which dosent help me at all e...
A. 21 January 2009: Firstly the fact that he has cheated before does mean that he is reasonably likely to do it again so you are right to be alert. Sometimes what you may be thinking of as paranoia is just a very heightened sense of awareness to small inconsiste... (read in full...)
I wantto contact the other woman!
Q. Okay I think I am completely losing my mind now. For some crazy reason I am having urges to contact the other woman. And not in a mean way either. Maybe it is the whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer thing"? He wrote her a ...
A. 21 January 2009: You sound an incredibly strong woman. I think that it is wonderful that you haven't gone with the knee jerk / tabloid editor reaction to your husband's failings. You are not losing your mind. Whilst there are all kinds of solid practical reason... (read in full...)
Serial cheater?
Q. My question is this..Is the following characteristic of a serial cheater? A man whose cell phone goes dead always over night and usually for 8-12 hours? He says he loves you but needs time to figure out why he is not happy.... talks to girls...
A. 17 January 2009: Not really enough information here.
What does he do with his cell phone when he is with you? Some people just like to turn their cell phone off over night but if he is someone who is usually always contactable and then suddenly the phone goes off... (read in full...)
My husband told me that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only because I like it.
Q. I have been married to my husband for seven years. I have told him exactly what I would like when it comes to oral sex. More often than not, he doesn't do it. He told me the other night that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only ...
A. 15 January 2009: Really? I love it - no better thing. My wife likes to sleep about 3 or 4 hours a day more than I do and this is the one way that I can really guarantee to wake her up in the morning. Seems to me that if you have a healthy relationship with a ... (read in full...)
Cheat, cheat and cheat again?!!
Q. i been married 20yrs and found out my husband was having an affair with a girl at work.she is 20yrs younger when i found out he admitted everything he had been seeing her for a few months he even took her to a hotel where our son had got married a ...
A. 15 January 2009: I agree with the ladies below who say that it won't stop or not at least until old age kicks in. Those of us who cheat on our wives are like dogs who have bitten a person, a line has been crossed that cannot be uncrossed and experience gained that ... (read in full...)
He shagged like a porn star in his affair!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, with 2 kids. He is 40 I am 37. For a long time (possibly always) our love life has not been right. He is very highly sexed, and would want to make love every day, and several times a day if ...
A. 15 January 2009: If you love him hugely but you are just not that in to sex where would the harm be in coming to an arrangement in which can have sex with someone else so long as he keeps clear of disease, is super discreet and there is no lying to you? If you take ... (read in full...)
Choked during sex...was it wrong of him??
Q. I've been with my overly passionate, subtle and lovely boyfriend for some time now. He's not very spontanous, everything seems like a walk in the park... and almost routine. Last night we had sex. And he started choking me towards the end out of the ...
A. 11 January 2009: We do many things during sex that wouldn't be acceptable in other contexts. If you gave him a clear signal that you wanted him to stop and he did not then that would be a concern, otherwise why on earth would you "report it" if you enjoyed it. For ... (read in full...)
Am I sell out because I like white men?
Q. Well for the past 10 years now since I was 14 yrs old, I add an attraction to White guys. Something about them turns me on so bad. I can count on one hand and 1/2 of all the Black and Latino men that I've dated. My friends and family think I'm...
A. 11 January 2009: I'm hardly qualified to comment as I'm not from where you are from but it seems to me that we like who and what we like and that the only "sell out" would be denying yourself happiness in order to fit in with other people's expectations.
I've ... (read in full...)
Do males enjoy giving oral, or do they just do it to keep us happy?
Q. Do males enjoy giving oral, or do they just do it to keep us happy?...
A. 4 January 2009: We enjoy making you happy. I guess it's much the same the other way round.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? He slapped me.
Q. My Best friend is a guy and we have been best friends for almost 4 and a half years. A year ago we were at work,and I said out loud how much money he had,even though nobody had heard me, he got mad and lightly slapped me across my face.I got so ...
A. 2 January 2009: It is never right for a guy to hit a girl BUT particularly if he has been in that environment as a child you do need to be careful not to lead him into situations in which that is his conditioned response because (and I don't say this in any way to ... (read in full...)
He's drawing fake 'staches on me and making me dress/talk like a man in the bedroom... is this normal?
Q. hi, im 21 and my boyfriend is 25. He keeps asking me to dress in his clothes and talk in a deep voice when we have sex. he even tried to draw a fake mustache on me with eye liner. he says its a huge turn on. is this normal? ...
A. 1 January 2009: Does frankly seem a little odd.... (read in full...)
Who am I? I Walk alone
Q. Hi, I'm a 49 yr old male and I have just messed my life up beyond anything I could have ever imagined. For 29 years I lived with the woman of my dreams. She was and still is everything any man could ever want and more. During our marriage I was ...
A. 1 January 2009: Thank you.
Please don't finish yourself off. Nothing is worth that. At 49 there is still a huge amount of good that you can do. Change your environment completely and find redemption through helping others. I have an idea for you if you're i... (read in full...)
Resolution Number 1 Equals The End of The Affair?
Q. Well, I've gone and done it. I've put an end to my affair. Full stop. Thanks for help Dear Cupids. Your advice and guidance have given me strength to resolve my feelings (or, at least, make a start). Resolve not revolve. Finished going round in...
A. 1 January 2009: Well done. Good luck.
I'd be interested to hear your update in a month's time.... (read in full...)
Is once a cheat always a cheat?
Q. i have had a gut feeling for a while that my boyfrend was seeing someone else so yesterday (and i know its wrong)i went through his mobile phone to see if i could find any evidence on there. there were picture texts from a girl showing just her ...
A. 30 December 2008: As a guy that cheats on a wife that I love I have to say that TT is right, people rarely change patterns that are established. If you confront it it may go away for a while but it will always be there. It is a little bit like when a dog bites a ... (read in full...)
View on having mistress/kept man?
Q. I love my uncle. He has been a terrific role model all my life but there is one aspect of this life which differs notably from mine. He often talks to me about his mistresses. When I'm amongst his circle of friends they talk about their diff...
A. 28 December 2008: I thought I had answered this question already but it seems not. I have a kept mistress in Shanghai. It is common in this society and I assume in every other society in which there are beautiful girls from poor families who would otherwis... (read in full...)
Can swallowing sperm harm one?
Q. I gave my boyfriend a blow job last night and swallowed when he came, this won't effect me in anyway will it?...
A. 27 December 2008: No.... (read in full...)
I can't find work! Any suggestions!
Q. well my big problem is im living in stupid country and very poor anyone help me find work...
A. 25 December 2008: The flags on here are pretty small but that looks like Kyrgyzstan, is that right?
What skills do you have? Obviously you have some English which is always a good start.
... (read in full...)
My man calls me stupid all the time, I'm starting to look differently at him, what do you think?
Q. My man calls me stupid all the time and it's really starting to hurt me and change the way I look at him. I have also have notice that he doesn't seem to be attractive to me anymore. I asked him if he still thought I was and he said yes but it ...
A. 19 December 2008: Don't tolerate it. He has a problem.
... (read in full...)
Bewildered...
Q. I suspect that my height has stopped me from getting a girlfriend, I'm 5ft9 and girls have told me that I'm good looking quite a few times when I show them a picture or in conversation. I also have a good personality judging by what lots of people ...
A. 19 December 2008: Being 5'9 is not your problem. It's a perfectly decent height.... (read in full...)
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