How can I learn to live with knowing that he doesn't find me attractive? Is that even important?
Q. My husband told me before me we married that he does not look at porn, but about 6 months ago I caught him at it, and he admitted he has been doing it throughout our 2 year marriage. When we were dating, he couldn't keep his hands off me and wanted ...
A. 8 August 2009: I agree with the first 3 posters. I think that you are imagining a problem which isn't really there. However, having said that, 20lbs is an awful lot of weight to gain in 2 years and it sounds as if you would be happier in yourself if you were to ... (read in full...)
Married 18 years in a horrible marriage! I need to get out and move on, but I can’t..advice?
Q. Hello I am going out of my head and just need advice. I have been with my husband for over 18 years, no children. The last few years have been the worst of my life and I just feel completely and utterly trapped and alone. My husband and I hav...
A. 8 August 2009: You poor girl. You sound like a wonderful and very British woman!
Don't under estimate your friends. You are right that no one particularly want to listen to ongoing moaning about somebody else's marriage but if you make it clear that you are ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy but...I've lost respect for him! Help, I'm disillusioned here!
Q. Simple to explain my situation, but don't know what to do about it. I have a partner who is a good guy I've know for 15 years and we've been together 10 years. I think he genuinely loves me, although it's never been exactly passionate and I have inc...
A. 7 August 2009: It is very hard for people to change their fundamental patterns. He is unlikely to improve significantly in those arrears that annoy you. Do not marry a man that you don't respect and never marry because it's the path of least resistance otherwise ... (read in full...)
Our marriage fell apart, now he's seeing another woman after 3 weeks! How could he move on so quick? And what did his silence mean?
Q. My husband asked for a divorce after 7 years because I put my children (from a previous marriage) before him. Three weeks later he is dating another woman. For closure I needed to know how he could move on so fast and just act like I never existed. ...
A. 7 August 2009: Just to be clear, I didn't mean to imply that you would be wrong for putting your children first. Its quite understandable and I would think normal in a second marriage.... (read in full...)
Is it OK to be 34 and be strictly platonic friends with a 15 year old girl?
Q. I know that guys in their mid-30's shouldn't really be friends with teenagers (especially girls), but one of my friends has a 15-year-old daughter who really wants to be my friend. I think she is really awesome and I would like to be her friend ...
A. 7 August 2009: Unfortunately people are going to think it is odd and assume the worst. That's just the way the world is.... (read in full...)
Why will she no longer let me cum in her mouth?
Q. hello there, i find myself getting a little frustrated/resentful these days and have gone to counselling and been very open about the matter with my fiance. now i understand this topic may sound offensive or degrading to some women/men on h...
A. 6 August 2009: Gina, you say "and she does seem to be doing her fair bit for you too!" There is nothing whatsoever in the post as to what she may be doing for him - unless the situation in the west has reached the point where men should be grateful that any woman ... (read in full...)
Is sex the same after childbirth?
Q. Is it possivle for a man still to be able to enjoy sex with a woman once she has had a child naturally ? MOD NOTE: most likely is meant vaginally, not naturally....
A. 6 August 2009: Yes. So long as you loose the weight you put on :-) Down below everything goes back to normal - maybe even better than before. Possibly, if your man is squeemish, it might be better for him not to be looking at the business end whilst you're ... (read in full...)
Love thy neighbour... why hasn't he approached me?
Q. I have this big crush on my neighbor i'm sure he's interested in me but never has made a serious move. It's the little thing he was doing like watching me jog on the track,staring and smiling all the time but why hasn't he approched me? ...
A. 6 August 2009: He's thinking, she looks nice but if she turns out to be a bunny boiler I've nowhere to go, she lives next to me. Too risky - I'm best off just watching.... (read in full...)
Our marriage fell apart, now he's seeing another woman after 3 weeks! How could he move on so quick? And what did his silence mean?
Q. My husband asked for a divorce after 7 years because I put my children (from a previous marriage) before him. Three weeks later he is dating another woman. For closure I needed to know how he could move on so fast and just act like I never existed. ...
A. 6 August 2009: He has just divorced you (or in the process of divorcing you) and is seeing someone else. You have just accused him of cheating on your. It is hardly the time that he is going to start telling you how much he loved you ... When you say ".. beca... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to go down on him..
Q. Ok i have an issue. My boyfriend really wants me to give him head but I am really nervous. He says "I eat you out every time so why won't you do it to me?" I told him I am nervous to do it but he says ill always be nervous and i just need to do it ...
A. 5 August 2009: Grab it in your hand, kiss the end and take it from there. It's really hard to go too far wrong. Like ice cream there is no such thing as a bad blow job just good and better ... best do it for the first time after he has just had a bath or shower. ... (read in full...)
I caught my mum cheating!
Q. hi all, i just want to talk about my mom and what happened to me. nearly a month ago I came home and i found out that my mom is cheating on my dad. i saw her having sex with a youngester and i can say she was really enjoying it. i didn't kno...
A. 5 August 2009: Tell her that you are sorry that you shouted at her, that she has every right to be happy and that it is none of your business but that you think that it would be a good idea for her to take a hotel room when she needs to have sex so not to risk ... (read in full...)
Does his sexual request reflect his level of respect for me?
Q. My new bf and I are having a long distance thing, we see each other every other wkend. We mainly communicate through daily txts. Naturally sometimes our txts turn abit dirty : ) We have told each other our sexual requests for nxt time we meet up....
A. 4 August 2009: Not disrespectful at all - so long of course as you're ok with it. Speaking personally it is pretty much the only way to get me to come and my lovely wife of 10 years has no problem with it. ... (read in full...)
How can I help her to relax?
Q. ive tried having sex with my girlfriend twice now and it wont go in. she says she is too tense and that she needs to relax more. how can i help her relax more?...
A. 3 August 2009: Or use your tongue first. That generally gets things loosened up.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want sex!
Q. I am a 30yo male with a 30yo girlfriend. We have been together for 3 years lived together for 2 one of which was overseas, we have returned recently. My problem is she has been saying she doesn’t want sex, she has had this stance for 18months...
A. 30 July 2009: Honestly you are better off out of it. Doesn't sound as if there is much left to be rescued.... (read in full...)
Never pursued a relationship with someone of my own race.
Q. I realize that people have certain types of significant others that they are attracted to. For me, I tend to gravitate to men of the caucasian race. And even though I find men of my own race attractive I have never found someone of my own race so ...
A. 30 July 2009: Nothing wrong with you. We all have things that we look for in a mate and sometimes those characteristics are simply better represented in a different race. Fortunately with the world becoming more integrated and people mixing up more than ever ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How can I prove to people I'm not immature?
Q. Hello :) Okay so long story short virtually everyone I know thinks I am immature. I admit, I can be a little silly at times. I laugh at things others don't find funny, for example parts of kung fu panda which I was practically weeing myself over whi...
A. 29 July 2009: You're 13 for heaven's sake! Enjoy yourself as long as you're not upsetting anyone else. From the perspective of a 40 year old it is those 13 and 14 year olds who are trying too hard to be mature that look a little bit ridiculous. ... (read in full...)
Question from a lady about something men always say to me
Q. I have a question that I would like the men to answer primarily (but ladies, too, if you have insight into my question). I am a thin lady, I will admit, but there is something that men say to me a lot that, quite frankly, I don't know how to take. ...
A. 29 July 2009: I think that you're are pretty much right. The media portrays things that way because that is the prevailing orthodoxy and because the media is run by that kind of person and of course because some men really do want that kind of woman. Ther... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I've never had a boyfriend before?
Q. hey so this is kinda embarassing but here goes i an 16 and never had a boyfriend or a proper kiss. i wouldnt say i am pretty or thin could this be the reason ? all my friends have had boyfriends and it makes me feel bad because i feel so stupid it ...
A. 29 July 2009: No, you're not weird and you shouldn't worry about it. If you are worried about getting yourself a boyfriend then there is a high risk that you will settle for someone that isn't right for you. It'll happen when it happens. Before I was 18 I ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say women can't be bad at sex?
Q. Hey This is going to sound like a silly silly question, but oh well. So many answers about sex say women don't have to do much during sex (obviously more is better but...), is it then fair to say women can't really be bad at sex? :S...
A. 25 July 2009: No. Women can be bad at sex. It's a complex undertaking combining natural talent, learned skills and enthusiasm and there is a really broad range of outcomes. ... (read in full...)
Should I meet this guy, who I don't think I'll be attracted to?
Q. Hiya!! I have been sending messages to a man on a dating site for about 6 weeks now - he gave me his phone number and said he would like to meet me in person, The thing is he is'nt really the type of man I would go for as he seems to be a bit ...
A. 25 July 2009: He's on a dating site. He is hoping to be more than friends. He sounds a bit desperate. You could end up with a stalker. Kinder in the long run just to close it down now.... (read in full...)
Is this love? I'm involved with another man for 8 years!
Q. is possible one can love two person at a time .i m married 18 yr with kids .my husband is nice .i love him care about him,but same time i love another person who fell in love with me.(HE ALSO MARRIED)now i m also attracted to him .i am involved ...
A. 25 July 2009: Yes. People will tell you "no" but the answer is "yes it is possible"
Be very careful.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Question from a lady about something men always say to me
Q. I have a question that I would like the men to answer primarily (but ladies, too, if you have insight into my question). I am a thin lady, I will admit, but there is something that men say to me a lot that, quite frankly, I don't know how to take. ...
A. 25 July 2009: It's a compliment - without doubt - say thank you! In the same way that each woman has different things that they look for in a man, each man is looking for different things in women and some of us, but certainly not all and maybe not even a ... (read in full...)
What is the godmother's role?
Q. heyy... i jus wanted 2 ask for sum advice.. mi best friend is 15 and is pregnant.. it wasnt her fault!!! ive sed im goin 2 be there 4 her no matter wat!! i wil always love her as a friend. shes asked me to be its godmother.. i jus wanted to ...
A. 25 July 2009: Well, you are meant to be there for the christening service during which you make various promises / undertakings. Thereafter you pretty much define the role as you wish to. Conventionally children in the UK have two Godfathers and two Godmothers ... (read in full...)
Friend's husband is pursuing me and she suspects something about him
Q. Hello aunts, its 3.30am here in england and my mobile is ringing over and over with texts and calls from my friends husband. His wife, one of my best friends is away in spain at the moment. Hes done this before, a few months ago. He made me swear id ...
A. 25 July 2009: Send him a message "It's 4.45 in the f*&^£$g morning. Leave me alone." Then turn your phone off.
Make sure that you keep all of those texts as they will help your friend out when it comes around to her divorce. ... (read in full...)
He cant get an erection when we have sex but he can get it up when watching gay porn!
Q. My husband can't get an erection when we have sex, and I feel disappointed. I'm not expecting an orgasm or anything like that; I'm only really expecting loving, caring sex. He is a respectful, lovely guy. He seems to be able to get an erection ...
A. 24 July 2009: You don't "expect an orgasm or anything like that". Why on earth not? You've only got the one life.
Seriously, no erection with you + erection with gay porn does rather point towards him being gay albeit in a very repressed way.... (read in full...)
How do I get her number without insinuating anything?
Q. Hi people, i need some advice desperately... So pls pls reply! Im 22 yrs old, and a very shy guy. I started a job (2 months) and there is this girl at work i really like. Now i got to know her slightly over the time, we talk on breaks or lunche...
A. 24 July 2009: Ask her for an e.mail address rather than a phone number - it's less culturally loaded with baggage / insinuations etc.
... (read in full...)
Is it true that men will have sex with any female who is willing?
Q. Is it true that men can have sex with any female. If female is willing and approaching them , they never say no. Even if they love their partner, but for sex they everready for any female. Male readers plz answer this question...
A. 20 July 2009: The easy answer is "No, not ANY woman". But if you were to ask "Would a majority of men with a functional sex drive, take the opportunity of sex with a woman who is physically highly attractive so long as they feel there is very little possibility ... (read in full...)
Is this wrong or gay?
Q. im 14 and male and somtimes wen i have sleepovers with my friend we have wank but we dont do it to each other we both do it other porn but we make sure we are away from each other and we make sure we cant see each others penises is this wrong or ...
A. 19 July 2009: It's a little odd but it doesn't make you gay unless you are thinking about men when you do it. It's not wrong as such but you might want to avoid it in the future as it is a little strange as our early sexual experiences tend to create patterns ... (read in full...)
I called my Girlfriend a slut and a whore and she won't forgive me
Q. Ok, so I get a call form this guy I used to go to school with, claiming that he had sex with her about 2 months ago. So I called her a whore, slut, just about every mean thing u can fit in a 5 minute conversation, while she just kinda took it, then ...
A. 19 July 2009: Yup. You screwed this one up. For as long as you are together she will remember those 5 minutes and what you said to her and she is never going to be completely comfortable with you. Your best bet is to end this relationship with some class, ... (read in full...)
I called my Girlfriend a slut and a whore and she won't forgive me
Q. Ok, so I get a call form this guy I used to go to school with, claiming that he had sex with her about 2 months ago. So I called her a whore, slut, just about every mean thing u can fit in a 5 minute conversation, while she just kinda took it, then ...
A. 19 July 2009: Why on earth would you think that she would forgive you?... (read in full...)
How do I get him to leave his wife for me?
Q. How can i get him to leave his wife for me? im 17 and hes 40 and really need ideas? he sees me whenever he can get away from his wife, and promises to take me shopping, and he calls me princess and beautiful, we have sex alot in his car, he has 2 ch...
A. 19 July 2009: Sweetheart, if you believe no one else here then take from me as as a 40 year old guy who cheats on his wife with younger women, HE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU. And, if he did, it would last about 6 months at the very most.
Obvio... (read in full...)
After 16 years I kicked him out, now what?
Q. if a husband cheated in the past, would he still cheat in the future? he also lies a lot to cover up , and also he dosen't show love or caring. he loves to talk about others problems never want to face his, he also like to blame everything on me it ...
A. 18 July 2009: Generally speaking, once a married man starts cheating we are going to do it again. Maybe not for a while but once you've crossed that line it is going to happen again. That's why dogs that bite a person get put down. However, even putting the ... (read in full...)
This guy used me. Am I crazy for still loving him?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years, he wasnt what you'd call a decent bloke, i was on income surport bringing up 2 girls, he was working and at the begenning he bled me dry, he was a rite womaniser, really bad wandering eyes, but ...
A. 18 July 2009: No you're not crazy for loving him (although from this distance it isn't easy to see what you see in him). We love who we love and we don't have that much choice in the matter. However, from the sound of it you would be crazy to count on this guy ... (read in full...)
Why do men go around staring at other women when their girlfriends/wives are with them?
Q. Why do guys have to be so ignorant! im sure there are guys out there who wont stare at other women but most do and it makes their wives/gfs really degraded! then they sit and complain when we tell them that it hurts us! thats a bunch of BS. wom...
A. 16 July 2009: We have no choice. We literally can't help it. All hetrosexual men with any kind of active sex drive look at pretty girls. Without that biological programming the human race likely wouldn't have survived to this point. The only distinction is ... (read in full...)
I am no longer attracted to my husband because he's not asian
Q. Within the past few months I have developed a preference towards Asian men only. It started when I began listening to Korean boy bands and watching Korean dramas. I have always been interested in asian cultures and I have always been attracted to ...
A. 16 July 2009: Come to Beijing - it's the mother ship!
Seriously there are so many white guys in Asia with Asian wives or girlfriends (or both) that it would be beautiful to see someone redressing the balance just a little bit. ... (read in full...)
My foreskin doesn't retract when I have an erection
Q. i have a 5.5 inch penis and when i get an erection, my foreskin doesnt retract. i think my penis is too small for my foreskin as i can pull my foreskin over the head but it just slips back. is this normal? ...
A. 15 July 2009: I don't see that that is going to cause you a problem unless there is pain involved. Once your penis gets into action that foreskin will move back and forth just in the natural course of things.... (read in full...)
Hairy? Or non hairy?
Q. I happen to think women with at least a little bit of pubes down there is good..i mean no offense to anyone who shaves it completely off but who would want it completely bald..i mean i would feel like a little girl..and i kno it might make oral sex ...
A. 15 July 2009: Landing strip but not much more than that.... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of giving my boyfriend a hand job...
Q. Im thinking of giving my boyfriend a hand job or head can i get pregnat from this? And if i were to have sex with him and we use protection how big of a chance is it that i could get pregnat?...
A. 14 July 2009: Good Lord above, no you can't ! But, if you have to ask this, then you are too young to be doing it.... (read in full...)
Am I getting the "brush off" here?
Q. I met this girl recently - really got on well, just in a social sense. I don't rate myself too highly (I'm not good looking and am partially disabled, though this doesn't always show to people who don't know) and she is exceptionally good looking. ...
A. 14 July 2009: It is a brush off and you have the choice now to accept it or to take it as a test. Don't get needy but at the same time let her know, nicely, that a) you know what she is doing and b) that it doesn't matter that much because you've got other ... (read in full...)
Stripper problem
Q. Iv been seeing a stripier for a long time at a club i really like her but im not sure it see likes me.Do you think shes just in it for the money and do you think she likes me also she treats me bad when i ask her stuff like how long you gonna be ...
A. 14 July 2009: Seriously? Stop it. ... (read in full...)
I was drunk out of my head and got involved in an orgy
Q. Something happend to me last Saturday and I am trying to process it in my head. I am still in shock. I went to a very good friends birthday party. Because it was a house party and I planned to stay in their spare bedroom for the night, I got rea...
A. 14 July 2009: It's not wrong, sick or disgusting so long as everyone was happy at the time and no one got hurt. Don't judge yourself. ... (read in full...)
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