Why do cheaters get mad when they're caught?
Q. Why do cheaters always continue to lie, even when they've been caught? Why do they become angry when they are found out? What moral foundation is there for this behavior (why do they think the way they do, and why do they think cheating is okay)?...
A. 27 February 2010: OK, I'm not here to defend cheating but:
- first of all there are MANY kinds of cheaters, you could build categories based on all kinds of different criteria: cheaters that care about those that they are cheating on and those that don't; cheaters... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't understand that women can "get off" through other means!
Q. Ok so my bf and I have been having sex for almost 2 months now. We've done it about a dozen times, I have orgasmed once out of the 12 times. While I realize that I'm lucky enough to be able to get that point since I know some girls never orgasm from ...
A. 27 February 2010: Leave where he might see them a few magazine articles or internet web pages explaining that women that don't get regular orgasms are x times more likely to cheat on their boyfriends than those that do.... (read in full...)
Is this wrong???
Q. I have just found out that my boyfriends nan and my great nan are sisters. There was a big age gap between them (my great nan being older), she went on to have my grandad and 30 years later my great nans sister had my boyfriends dad (so they are ...
A. 25 February 2010: No. Nothing wrong with that.... (read in full...)
Can I get back with someone who cheated on me?
Q. (Mod note: Title set by the poster) Recently, I discovered that my girlfriend of 5 years had cheated on me. I left, of course, and moved out of state. Here's the problem, She is telling me that she is going to do everything to make things right wi...
A. 25 February 2010: Of course she can be forgiven if she really explains to you why it happened. Life is complicated and sometime good people do things that they shouldn't do. Be forgiving, don't give her too hard a time and you'll have a "get out of jail free" card ... (read in full...)
Insentive girlfriend and I don't know what to do.
Q. For 18 months i have been in a relationship. I knew she had seen a married man long before we met. I never thought much as mistakes do happen. Yesterday we were talking in bed. Its now she tells me that i`m the only single guy she was interested in. ...
A. 25 February 2010: I certainly wouldn't want to be with her. Very bad attitude.... (read in full...)
I am hoping I am adopted so I can be a US citizen and work for the FBI
Q. hello readers well where do i start. for some reason i feel that i am adopted i do look a bit like my mum and dad but i feel that it is just a similarity i have always felt that i wanted to be adopted and my real parents (thats if i am adopted) ar...
A. 24 February 2010: My guess would be that if you can't work out how to get this information yourself then you wouldn't qualify to be an FBI Special Agent. Incidentally they have a minimum entry age of 23 and you'll need a university degree so you have a while to ... (read in full...)
My husband's porn use has affected me badly..is this normal?
Q. Okay, this is going to be very long so please bear with me. When I first got with my boyfriend in August '08, I made it very clear to him that some very bad things had happened to me in the past concerning sex when I was only young, and that bec...
A. 24 February 2010: This really seems like an over reaction to me.
If you really want a man that does look at porn, ever, then you are going to have look among the following categories: men with very low sex drives; men that can't operate a computer, men with str... (read in full...)
Has shaving given me a rash or have I caught an STD from his pre-cum?
Q. I recently decided to shave my vagina to see how it would work, especially since my bf and I became sexually active. The first time I shaved it was all good, when I shaved it again and rash has started to form and its really itchy. My boyfriend and ...
A. 23 February 2010: 99% chance that it's a shaving rash.... (read in full...)
Can I wear the same jeans again for a third date or will it look bad?
Q. I am seeing a guy i met online for a 3rd time..he seems really open and interested..we met saturday night for a drink and then he offered to go to dinner and then we got another drink afterwards at a different place and then he drove me home..and he ...
A. 23 February 2010: Fundamental misunderstanding of the male mind. He has no idea at all what you wore on your last two dates just that you looked nice.... (read in full...)
Confusion over where we are headed
Q. Since moving in together 4 months ago (I moved to China from Australia and we found an apartment after 1 month together - prior to that we kept up a long distance relationship for about 8 months; we met when I was on tour in China; she's 23 and I'm ...
A. 23 February 2010: The frequency with which you are posting questions here really suggests that you are confused and unhappy. There are just SO many beautiful, sweet and lovely girls in China that you don't have to "settle" if this relationship isn't working out. ... (read in full...)
I am no longer attracted to him because he acts like a spoilt child
Q. I've been with my older boyfriend for 3 years. We've always had a rocky relationship. Lately, I've noticed a change in my feelings for him. I love him, but I want to leave him. I don't do it because I don't want to hurt him. He used to be a truck ...
A. 22 February 2010: I think that you need to leave. You don't have to stay because he'll be upset. He'll get over it and actually you leaving might be what is needed to help him pull himself together.... (read in full...)
Jealous of the racy stuff she did with her ex
Q. Hi there, I'm posting because I need help with a relationship/sexual problem that is entirely self-inflicted. I met my girlfriend a year ago and we're still crazy about each other. She is 27 and I'm 25, and she's my first girlfriend and se...
A. 22 February 2010: The patterns of our sexual interactions with a particular partner are set very early on in the relationship and it certainly can feel uncomfortable to change those patterns.
Wait until you are on holiday, somewhere with a new environment and some... (read in full...)
Trouble getting over girlfriend's past
Q. My girlfriend's past is not even that bad. She had two ex BFs and only one she had sex with. She says the sex is a lot better with me (i'm her second). However after her second Bf, she had a "fling" whom she knew for a while. They did stuff and she ...
A. 22 February 2010: It is a little insensitive of her to sing this guy's praises BUT this discomfort over previous lovers is a process that most men have to go through when they find that they love a girl. It will subside. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that because of my yeast infection stopping us having sex he will cheat on me!
Q. i have recently had a yeast infection and then i took the monistat one day thing and the symptoms started to feel better for like almost a week. while it was feeling better i had sex like one time and now i have one again . im currently using the ...
A. 22 February 2010: Lots of blowjobs will keep him on the straight and narrow path.... (read in full...)
He wants a naked picture, I am so nervous I feel I am going to puke!
Q. Okay, So this guy i have known for a couple of years, me and him have started talking... just today. and he said i had a nice body and wants a pic of me naked. i told him he probably wouldnt get it but he says that it would make him happy. should i...
A. 21 February 2010: No, no, no, no, no. Don't do it. Really don't do it.... (read in full...)
By accepting my wifes affair am I just prolonging the inevitable?
Q. Hi , i have been married for 12 years but this year i found out that my wife was having an affair . We are trying to work things out but she still wants to keep seeing the other man . I am not happy about this and at the moment it has been left that ...
A. 21 February 2010: 1st you working too hard to pay the bills for your family is not excuse for her to have an affair.
2nd, she is going to despise you for being so weak. You need to take a little time off work, find this guy and get in his face. Unfortun... (read in full...)
Would you consider what I did rape?
Q. The night began with a party and was all good fun , I ended up in bed with a girl that I know quite well and we were both naked and fooling around with fore play . Naturally I was extremely aroused and wanted sex ..she said NO , I stuck by that ...
A. 21 February 2010: You have to be very careful. What you did was not really a good thing at all but she would be a bad person to use the law against you in this instance.
Google "Angus Diggle" - this case was a cause celebre in the UK back in the early 90s. Th... (read in full...)
How honest should you be without risking losing a relationship?
Q. So i just have a basic question. I understand and am all for honesty in relationships, and believe honesty is always the best policy. So if you love someone so much and you dont ever want to lose them, are their limits. And of course its not ...
A. 21 February 2010: This should really stick in my throat given that I'm a serial (and parallel) cheater and therefore by definition a liar but generally honesty is the way to go. You would be surprised at what people will accept if you tell them straight. You may ... (read in full...)
I have just discovered my husband is cheating with escorts
Q. Just found out my husband has been cheating on me with escorts. I still love him and want to work things out. Am I wrong for feeling this way?...
A. 20 February 2010: No not wrong at all.
Once the cat is out of the bag vis a vis escorts (are we really talking escorts here or the neighbourhood slapper or a happy ending at the local massage parlour?) it is very hard to get it back under control.
Prohibition i... (read in full...)
The married man I love pretends to be busy and wont talk to me
Q. Im in love with a married man who is 10 years elder than i do. I had recently broke up with a guy.. soon after my break up this man came in my life ( we knew each other even before my break up but we got close to each other after my break up) This ...
A. 20 February 2010: He's made a good decision. Don't make it any harder for him.... (read in full...)
Is this pattern of sexual interaction common?
Q. Surprise surprise!! another guy with issues about his girls sexual past. Her number is a okay in my book (I'm her 7th) at close to 30 years old. However, five of those fellas were in a six month period her last semester of college. Three of those...
A. 20 February 2010: And yes - you're right that these little bursts of being overly friendly usually mean that people are working through some issues. Your girlfriend's pattern sounds very normal indeed I think that she has been rather more conservative and reserved ... (read in full...)
Is this pattern of sexual interaction common?
Q. Surprise surprise!! another guy with issues about his girls sexual past. Her number is a okay in my book (I'm her 7th) at close to 30 years old. However, five of those fellas were in a six month period her last semester of college. Three of those...
A. 20 February 2010: In a year? 37 give or take. ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy is married?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I would like you to put your detective hats on and help me out please. The Brief: So I've known this guy for a few months but I have a suspicion that he may be married and would really like your opinion. Facts: Sinc...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm sorry but absolutely without a doubt, married.... (read in full...)
Caught my husband cheating again; not sure where to go from here
Q. I have been married 12 years. About 3 years ago I found out that me husband was cheating on me. I found out through the text messages and phone calls being made from his phone. I guess there were signs that made me believe that this was going on so ...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm sorry that you are in this situation.
He is not going to stop having sex with other women at least not for long and not when he has the opportunity. You either need to get out now or stay in the marriage in the knowledge that from time to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's tiredness the day after sex worries me!
Q. My gf is 23 and I'm 26 so we are still quite young. At the beginning of our relationship our sex lives were great. But after the first month or so of having sex every couple of days (at one point up to 3 times in one day), we've reached a point of ...
A. 20 February 2010: I think that you've already identified several quite plausible avenues to explore. If you are up half the night then obviously that is going to effect energy levels the next day.
Your profile says that you are in China - you seem not to be Ch... (read in full...)
How can you hurt someone you love so much?
Q. is it possible for my boyfriend of seven years to love me but yet he cheated on me got another woman pregnant he tells me and everyone around that he loves me but i am really hurt and scared that its just words because how could you hurt someone you ...
A. 20 February 2010: Yes.
It is certainly possible that he loves you but he has a flaw, a weakness. You have to decide whether his loving you is good enough and whether your love for him is sufficient to overcome this weakness.
The fact that he has cheated in t... (read in full...)
Is there a way to get past her sexual past?
Q. i met the women i love about a year and a half ago we are both 26. the problem is that she told me her past i did not want to know ever but she talked about it and anyway she slept with 13 guys thats including me that was with in 3 years.i have b...
A. 19 February 2010: For me the issue would be not that she has had sex with 13 guys in 3 years - that's high but not out of the range of ordinary, some girls just like to have a lot of sex and frankly God bless em - but rather that she insists on talking about it in ... (read in full...)
I want more opportunities to have sex without family around!
Q. Hi, I know this sounds silly but I could use some advice on it. I'm 16 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. I lost my virginity to him, he wasn't a virgin, this past October. Now the problem is that we never ge...
A. 19 February 2010: In the US you should be able to rent a motel room for around $50. That isn't a huge amount of money if you sacrifice the occasional trip to the mall. Remember that you have that room from early afternoon one day til nearly mid-day the next. That ... (read in full...)
He was a drug dealer but says he has reformed
Q. ok this si going to sound stupid because i cant belive i'd say this but cutitn to the point. met a guy online.normally i wouldnt rush into things or get attachedd. nearly been a week and we jst chat so much. seriously hes great, and he unders...
A. 19 February 2010: Honestly you are best to stay clear. He may be great, he may be mis-understood and it may be unfair to him but he has certainly made some poor choices in the past and that means that there is a higher than normal chance that, in the future, under ... (read in full...)
Is this really American culture? It hurts that he considers what I did in a picture 9 months ago as cheating
Q. Hi dearcupids! You always offer great advice, so here's a question for you. My boyfriend and I recently got into a fight about a picture that was taken of me. Now Im from a different country than him, he's American. In this picture I was at a party ...
A. 19 February 2010: In my view he is insecure and over reacting.... (read in full...)
I'm already worried about the size of my penis even though I am not planning on having sex until I am married!
Q. I know I might be to young to worry about this, but I'm 17 years old and I'm a virgin and I don't really plan on having sex untill I'm married, but I need an opinion from a woman, my penis is about 6 inches long when erect, is that too small??...
A. 16 February 2010: Yup. Way too small to make a successful living in the porn industry. Pretty much spot on for every other purpose though.... (read in full...)
My wife has admitted having an affair and wants to save our marriage, but all my trust for her is ruined
Q. I recently learned that my wife was seeing someone else through people that I work with. She admitted to having an affair, and I have been on a roller coaster of emotions for about a week now. We've been married for almost 5 years, we have 2 young ...
A. 16 February 2010: Save the marriage, don't give her too hard a time. Bank the "Get Out of Jail Free" card.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend attended a "filthy" lap dancing club..and had a dance!
Q. Hi everyone ... Please read my story , because I just dont know what to do and Im constantly privately in tears . I found out by pressuring one of the guys ( and thats a story in itself ) That my b/f of 3 1/2 years attended a " filthy " lap d...
A. 16 February 2010: OK, so this isn't great BUT in the big scheme of things it is better that he do this (which is really just a form of 3D porn) than that he be out having some kind of affair. If you were to marry and to get through the next 40-50 years and this is ... (read in full...)
I really want to be there for my friend but I am unsure of Christian traditions when it comes to funerals
Q. So I just found out that my friend's sister just died friday night. I went to highschool and two years of college with her but this is the first time we have spoken since she transferred universities. Her and her sister were really close, spent all ...
A. 15 February 2010: Most younger Christians are also pretty unsure about the traditions surrounding funerals because, when we are young we do our best to pretend that death doesn't exist.
When someone is feeling shattered by the death of a loved one - particul... (read in full...)
Should I feel embarrased about my penis size?
Q. A friend of mine made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed when she was making fun of me because I have a small penis... I am 17 years old and it is about 10 centimeter (4 inch) long, and 9 centimeter (3.9 inch) circumference, when it is "hard". ...
A. 15 February 2010: That is at the smaller end of the range HOWEVER of course you shouldn't feel ashamed. There ARE some immature or nasty girls that will use it as a way to attack you but bullies will use anything that YOU perceive as a weakness in yourself to attack ... (read in full...)
I tried so hard but I could not ejaculate whilst having sex, what is wrong with me?
Q. i am in love with my girlfriend for 3yrs now...we both live in different places.... whenever we meet we used to have kind of sex.. which is not purely sex...she has a problem in loosing her virginity....in one of her birthdays i forced her to have ...
A. 15 February 2010: I hope that you didn't really "force" her and what you meant is that you had a long discussion and she finally agreed. If you did force her then you have a big problem and you should go and bang yourself on the head with something heavy - seriously ... (read in full...)
Let's play a game! Who is more attractive?
Q. Im the poster of the unattractive black women post (Go back and read it. Great Posts) and I think we are not seeing eye to eye, so lets play a game. For men, choose one of the following women and explain why you would date her over the other (...
A. 14 February 2010: I'm sorry to be several days behind on this. I'll have to blame it on getting ready for Chinese New Year.
Obviously for me, of these 5, it would be Lucy Liu although I'd rather substitute in a genuine Chinese gal rather than American born as ... (read in full...)
He called me lazy because I wasn't enjoying having sex with him and now he hasn't contacted me! Should I take it that it is over?
Q. i had sex with a guy am dating and he was pretty big and he took soo long to cum so i got soo tired am gave up..(i wasnt enjoying it) he wanted to go second round.. but i was soo weak that i was in the mood to go another round.. we got kissing ...
A. 14 February 2010: I think it's over and I think you are lucky that it is!... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to believe he loves me after all this?
Q. I believe I know the answers to these questions but am really looking to see what others say. I know my husband tells me I'm wrong, but, I don't think so. Does a man love you when: He cheats on you, gets the woman pregnant, doesn't tell you about i...
A. 14 February 2010: I know a thing or two about this kind of situation. Although I know it to be true that it is possible for a man to love his wife and yet cheat on her, from what you say, this man does not appear to love you. I think that you would both be better ... (read in full...)
I should want to be with my wife, but I really want to be with the woman I am having an affair with. What should I do?
Q. I am 41 years old married 15 years with 3 kids under 12. I met someone 9 months ago and have been having an affair since. I told her I was married when we met. I told my wife that I was in love with someone else and i did not love her. I filed ...
A. 14 February 2010: How is your wife responding?... (read in full...)
Do any other girls out there withold sex from their partners when they have done something wrong?
Q. Please Help .... I have a problem . When my boyfriend does something wrong , like out late with his mates , or comes home intoxicated , I without Sex for a period of time . I tell him the set penalty time and he signs a form ..eg : 1 week , 1 ...
A. 14 February 2010: You do indeed have a problem. I can't imagine why any man with a choice would stay with you unless he's submissive.... (read in full...)
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