A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i been married 20yrs and found out my husband was having an affair with a girl at work.she is 20yrs younger when i found out he admitted everything he had been seeing her for a few months he even took her to a hotel where our son had got married a few months earlier and had bought her into our home when i was at work.all this was 2007- to feb 2008 i love him and we decided to save our marriage 2 months ago i found out that he had also had an affair in 1992 with a friend and another affair from 1996-2003 with another person he worked with i really dont know what to do i love him but can i really believe him when he tells me hes sorry and he did nt know what he had until he nearly lost it, i would be grateful for any reply s to help me make up my mind
View related questions:
affair, at work, girl at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): thanks for the replys.i found out about the other affairs as i wanted him to take a lie detecter test he said no so i told him he was still lying to me and that i wanted a divorce and him to move out that when i found out he cheated more than the once.my head is telling me get rid my heart another it has helped just writing on this site
A
female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (15 January 2009):
 LEAVE HIM!!!BEFORE HE LEAVES YOU
I believe that he has been getting his cake and eating it for to long. my husband has cheated on me several times.
the old saying says "you hurt me once, it's on you"
"you hurt me twice, it's on me"
i know you love him sweet hurt, i know you do. and you are probably just devastated with all of this. but the truth is it may be time for you to get your groove back and find someone that makes you feel good. you've already had him, he's old news.
he made the decision to cheat, over, and over, and over again. that's he's fault NOT YOURS!!!!
Trust me he will miss you when you are gone...and you may not even want him back...after you make yourself available to other men.
I love you sister and don't give up on yourself. you do need to forgive him because God forgives us, but at the same time continueous adultry is unacceptable and obviously intentional...and will not be tolerated (even if it hurts). the dates you quoted range from 1992-2008...WOW...he needs to be left...he's not sorry and if he see that your just as gulable for his presence as the 20yr old junior type of girls he cheats with...he will play you like that...
LEAVE HIM!!!
the Lord tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. so you will not be alone. everything happens for a reason, whats done in the dark always comes to light. the Lord obviously wanted you to see the type of man you were married to. the Lord obviously has better things in store for you. let me stop because i'm preaching now.
God bless you and yours!!!!
~T~
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (15 January 2009):
 I agree with the ladies below who say that it won't stop or not at least until old age kicks in. Those of us who cheat on our wives are like dogs who have bitten a person, a line has been crossed that cannot be uncrossed and experience gained that cannot be unlearned. The only sure way to prevent it happening again is to have us put down or to chop our balls off.
However do please try to be open to the possibility (very hard for any woman to accept) that despite his cheating your husband may genuinely love you more than anything in the world. I know this to be possible.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (15 January 2009):
 I dont think he is sorry for this and i definetly dont think this time will be the last time he has done it many times before and no doubt he will do it many times after. He took someone to your home thats unforgivable in my mind.
You deserve so much better this guy does not respect you and he isnt sorry he new exactly what he was doing.
I would get rid of him you dont know if you can trust him and you deserve so much better then this
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): I know exactly how your feeling, I had the same thing happen to me 18 months ago, ( I found out by chance that my husband had been cheating on me for years) I know the turmoil your going through, my heart goes out to you. I gave my husband a second chance, (like yours, mine said he didn't realise what he had till he nearly lost it) now I completely regret it. We went to relate for months, thats when I decided to give him a chance, thinking I could forgive him and trust him again, but now further down the line I realise what he did went too deep and I can't. All the respect and trust I had for him has gone. I realise this is not advice, its just my personal experience, and to let you know your not alone. Good luck with what ever decision you make.
...............................
A
female
reader, hippy +, writes (15 January 2009):
wow, i can understand, you still love him, hes ur husband, but how can u forgive him, for all of that, its not like it was just the once..
u deserve so much more than that...
so go and find proper happiness, how can you believe him when he says hes sorry, if hes done it so often, you are worth more than that!!!!!1
...............................
A
female
reader, Dani28  +, writes (15 January 2009):
I am a believer in 2nd chances, none of us know what we are capable of, however, that is a lot of times to betray, which leads me to believe that he feels no remorse, sometimes people have affairs and feel so ba afterwards, they realise what they could have lost, i dont think ur hubby feels that way, sorry u are having to go through this. Can you tell me how u found out about all the earler affairs? xox message me xx
...............................
|
