A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have had a gut feeling for a while that my boyfrend was seeing someone else so yesterday (and i know its wrong)i went through his mobile phone to see if i could find any evidence on there. there were picture texts from a girl showing just her breasts with the words ..missing you... and also picture texts he sent her of his bits with the words... you too babe....i have not told him yet what i saw. i know what i have to do as i cannot trust him now. what if i tell him we are over and regret it? why do i feel scared of doing it? is once a cheat always a cheat? i know i will be upset but please any tips on how to handle this?
View related questions:
breasts, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): forget him, move on, i know it will be the most heartbreaking thing to do but you deserve better. if even he hasnt cheated physically it wont be long before he does. save yourself even more heartache before that happens. tell him exactly why your breaking up with him and then hope to never see him again. and if you do, show him your happy without him! at the end of the day. its his loss!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): i am in a relationship where i have been cheated on beffore, but i believe that he has changed. he cheated on my 5 times before he started to settledown and actually fall on love with me. im not sure if its for sure but i have to go with it for now. i believe there is some things that he does bekind my back but this is for sure his last chance. give it a try but if it doesnt feel right, i would end it right there.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Maybe it different for each person but from experience the people who I have known that have cheated in the past have all cheated again, a married one even said it's his way of life now and there's no going back now.
Make up your own mind but those photos don't sound like a one off to me
good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): If he's cheated on you personally and the relationship has not gotten any better from the consequences, chances are good that he'll always cheat. Speaking from experience, how ever, I cheated. When I got caught, I learned my lesson, and have never felt the need to cheat again.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 As a guy that cheats on a wife that I love I have to say that TT is right, people rarely change patterns that are established. If you confront it it may go away for a while but it will always be there. It is a little bit like when a dog bites a person, a taboo is broken, a line is crossed that can't ever be uncrossed. There is nothing for it but to have us humanely put to sleep and start again with a new dog.
...............................
A
female
reader, krowto  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 people can change. my dad cheated on my mom when they were first married. and now he is very faithful. and loves her more than anything. they spend every moment together that is possible.
but my dad never carried on a relationship with women, it was a spur of the moment kinda fling.
it can always happen that someone can change. but this is going on right now. you have to look out for urself since he is obviously not looking out for you.
as far as how to handle it...i know the feeling. being scared to break it off with someone you love. you might be afraid of how you will feel afterward, which is nothing but natural. just know that you will end up bouncing back and in the end you will be happier without him. nobody who treats you with so little care is worth it. move on and keep busy, rely on freinds and family who really do care about you. and always remind yourself that you deserve great things and nobody can take that away.
...............................
A
female
reader, TT +, writes (30 December 2008):
 I personally believe that a leapord never changes his spots. From experience i gave someone a second chance and as much as they tried to prove their love for me, they ended up cheating AGAIN.
Obviously this isn't about me, however; i really feel that when a person cheats, and they are given a second chance, then regardless of the reprocutions at the time, the cheater got away with it. And therefore there is always scope to do it again.
Your man has no respect for your relationship; obviously. If i'm frank, i've cheated before myself, and i know why- because i didn't love my partner.
It may seem harsh, but you need to be strong, because literally F**K him for doing this to you. How dare he? It's rare, but you will find someone who will respect you and want only you.
In regards to going through his phone- i would suggest you tell him that you know he's been cheating; but not use that as evidence....as he's a man, he'll more than likely turn the whole situation round from him being a b**tard, to you being crazy for going through his stuff.
Good Luck!
xx
...............................
|
