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My boyfriend was acting grumpy/irritable towards me so I went home. Now he's even more upset! Ideas?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 May 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I feel so aggravated right now. I hope someone can give me some advice.My boyfriend and I have been dating a year. We have our fun times but he can be quite a bear to deal with at times. Very moody. I chalk it up too him working a swing shift. I am a bubbly, easy going person so it can be hard to deal with. Long story short...We had a good day hanging out together; Until we took a nap..when he awoke he was grumpy and spouted off to me for no good reason. It is like he just wants to be mad at someone so it might as well be me! And this is not the first time it happened. After he was done spouting off and being rude he said just leave if I was bored and I said something about him not being nice to me for no good reason and yes I would leave as I didn't want to be around that and that I would let him to continue sleeping.. So i left and went home ..I was not mad ..just didn't want to tolerate or be around him anymore that day if that was how he was going to be. WELL....He is upset with ME for leaving. He even told me too!! He said he needs a couple days to think about all this as he is very upset with me. I will say sorry when i was in the wrong....but come on...he should be apologizing to me I think. He wouldn't tolerate it very well at all if I was grumpy and rude towards him-I know this. But he can be that way with me and then If i decide I have had enough and go home HE is the one mad? I think he sounds like a baby. Thanks for reading this.....Any thoughts???

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2015):

SensitiveBloke agony auntGrumpy people sometimes don't realise how bad they are. This makes it hard for them to sort the problem out.

I suggest you give him space for a couple of days and wait for him to contact you.

You deserve to be treated with respect, but he's not doing that. Don't tolerate this behaviour anymore.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (28 May 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI agree with Honeypie, let him know each time he wants to get all moody and grumpy with you, that you are going to do an Elvis and leave the building.

Tell him he can think about that when he takes his couple of days to think.

As for him being "very upset" with you .... well, what a big baby, tell him to think about growing while he is doing all that thinking over the next few days.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWhy apologize to him? YOU didn't do ANYTHING wrong.

His behavior WAS not OK. And you should have stood by that. If he can't TREAT you right, you have EVERY right to leave.

Give him his few days and YOURSELF a few days to think on it.

Then TALK to him.

I wold tell him that IN the future (if you still date) you will LEAVE every time he gets grumpy and starts name calling because it's NOT OK, you are NOT his verbal punching bag. If he can't handle treating you nicely, or understand that you will NOT stick around his place while he sprouts off - maybe it's just not going to work.

And if there is something upsetting him that he WANTS to talk about it can be done with out taking it out on you. You will GLADLY listen to him vent.

Good luck.

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A male reader, shaneblastedskyhigh United States +, writes (28 May 2015):

shaneblastedskyhigh agony auntis he on some kinda' medication or something?? that guy need some psychological help....that's not a way to treat a girl. you guys should talk about what happened...if he continues to do this,leave him. u need someone to appreciate u and love u.

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A female reader, followtheblackrabbit Cayman Islands +, writes (28 May 2015):

followtheblackrabbit agony auntPlease pass him a pacifier cause yes, that is quite babyish! It's not fair of him to take out on aggravations on you-especially after a good day and a nice nap! You were right to leave him to his grumpiness, I would have done the same. What point is there sticking around when he's being unpleasant?

Have you ever asked him if there was something bothering him? Something he's thinking about? He doesn't seem like he communicates very well...

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