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My current Bf claims my vagina is too loose and accuses me of cheating. What else would make it feel loose to him?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2015) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, *3k3 writes:

I had my daughter at the age of 14 through a c-section..

i have had several of sex partners in the years since then and no one has ever complained about my vagina except my current boyfriend.

He believes i'm cheating on him cause he say my vagina ain't as tight as when we first started having sex..idk

What to tell him? Because i'm not cheating n honestly i feel some type of way..What can be causing my vagina to feel loose to him???

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2015):

Tell him you wish that if his thing was a little bigger and see how he takes that?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2015):

Vagina doesn't get loose even from childbirth. It goes back to where it was. It's a well known fact.,

When you can older muscles there as everywhere Ina body get a bit loose, but that doesn't happen until you are in your 50s

I think your boyfriend is not getting hard as he is used to be, that's the story.,he needs to educate himself on feMale anatomy instead of blurting out total nonsense.,

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 June 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhat's causing it to feel loose is that his penis is not getting as hard as it used to.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (22 June 2015):

Honeygirl agony auntThere is only one answer for your bf.... GOODBYE!

Listen to what the other Agony Aunts are saying to you.. excellent advice!

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (20 June 2015):

Tell him your vagina isn't looser, his dick is just shrinking. Pretty soon it'll shrivel away to nothing.

This idiot has no clue about female anatomy. You don't get looser by having sex.

You need to lose this guy. His irrational jealousy is only going to get worse.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (20 June 2015):

janniepeg agony auntI've had one C section and I had not gotten looser. If you are thinking of what changes the tightness of the vagina besides natural childbirth, it is hormonal balance. Athletic people usually have it tighter. You yourself should know if there's a change down there. Are you still able to insert a tampon easily? Have your desire in sex changed? If not, it could probably mean your boyfriend is blaming it on you when he's the one who can't get it up to a full size.

He sounds like someone who bases the entire relationship on sexual excitement, the initial spark and then loses interest when the passion fades. He doesn't sound like a guy who would spend 30 minutes of foreplay to make you ready. If nothing else in your life like health, chanced, then the only reason to explain this is that he shrunk. All he is is a guy who's insecure about size and obsess about the possibility that you've had bigger guys.

I am relaxed with my husband but if there's no cunnilingus then I remain tight as a virgin. Age does not change a thing. It's not like you had a procedure when your body was still growing and it ruined your vagina.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntUrh! You are SO young to have to DEAL with this crap.

YOUR vagina is (I BET YOU) not loose at all. Now if you were in your 50's, had had 5 11 lbs babies vaginally, right after each other it COULD be that your vagina had gotten a little looser, but... as things go.. the VAGINA is not a sock puppet or an old shoe. It doesn't expand to IMMENSE sizes by having sex - it would EXPAND (not stretch) to accommodate a bigger penis but it would revert back to "normal" ( normal for you).

One of the "aunties" called men who think like your BF a troglodyte.. And I agree. IGNORANT TROGLODYTE.

It CAN be that you are LESS tense while having sex, produce more lubrication due to arousal, or relax more NOW that you know him better. DOESN'T MAKE you loose, makes you RELAXED & LUBRICATED which causes LESS friction.

You have not becomes loose.

To accuse you of cheating based on how your vagina feels is SO BEYOND IMBECILIC that I ALMOST (almost) feel sorry for your BF, because it shows SUCH a huge lack of understand of HOW a woman's body works.

I'd dump the dumbass... If it's not your "loose vagina" it will be something else that will make him accuse you of cheating...

*sigh*

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (20 June 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntTell him his dick must have shrunk, and maybe he needs to seek some medical help.

Honestly, some men make me seethe, maybe it would be best to ignore my initial response and suggest to him that you BOTH attend a clinic, family planning or other, together, to make sure it is not a medical problem.

Let him know that the most likely cause is that you are comfortable and relaxed when having sex with him, tell him that during arousal the vagina expands in anticipation of being penetrated Then the vagina tightens around the penis to give both the man and woman more sexual satisfaction."

When a woman becomes sexually aroused, her vaginal muscles relax and "loosen" -- somewhat. However, the relaxation of her muscles does not mean the vagina stretches or grows into a cavernous space; it merely makes room for the man, as a tight vagina would hinder our evolutionary need to procreate.

This is when men come into the equation. If a woman feels too tight during sex, chances are she is not fully aroused. According to the Psychology Today article, it takes approximately 30 minutes of foreplay before a woman is aroused to the point of vaginal relaxation.

This is why it's so important that men take the time to stimulate their female partners physically and mentally, as it gravely affects a woman's level of sexual pleasure. If a woman is not turned on, that is to say if a woman is too tight, sexual intercourse can be borderline painful.

If he doesn't listen, or want to know then the time has come to let him go, as a single mum you already have enough to deal with, you don't need to add an ignorant twat into the mix.

Good luck getting through to him!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2015):

"What to tell him?"

Goodbye.

Seriously, I don't understand why any woman with one ounce of self-esteem would even consider staying with a guy who is so piggish and disrespectful.

"What can be causing my vagina to feel loose to him???"

He's not getting as hard as he used to. Throw that in his face and use it as an excuse to accuse him of cheating before you dump him.

I suggest you think about the terrible example you're setting for your daughter by sleeping with jerks like him. Kids live what they learn. Do you really want to be a grandmother at 28?

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