I think this girl likes my boyfriend
Q. Hi everybody. Some advice please. There's this girl that I just noticed. I've been observing her behaviour. I noticed her looking at my boyfriend. At first, I thought it was nothing because maybe she looks at him out of curiosity or something els...
A. 10 August 2021: Your boyfriend is charming and a drummer. He is going to attract attention. You can't control that.
It is up to your boyfriend to act in such a way that you do not worry about this admirer. Your relationship is with HIM, not with her.
Do you ... (read in full...)
Does wife want a threesome or just role play?
Q. I have been happily married with my wife for many years. Sex is good. Sometimes it is romantic, other times is primal and erotic. We often flirt with the idea of a threesome, but more just role play as I think she is too conservative to follow ...
A. 10 August 2021: While this is a fantasy, you have control. Once you cross the line between fantasy and reality, the control evaporates and you have little say over what happens.
You say you are not jealous (now) but how would you feel if your wife enjoyed ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is grieving the loss of his mother and has pushed me away
Q. Hi I would love some advice on how to deal with my boyfriend who is grieving and has pushed me away. He told me he needs time to deal with the death of his mother who was very ill for sometime didn't die suddenly and says he needs peace and quiet ...
A. 10 August 2021: This is NOT personal. He has lost his mother. People push loved ones away in these circumstances because, sometimes, they are afraid to lose them and feel that grief again. They feel that, if they push them away, it saves them pain in the future. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not work due to some mental issues but refuses to tell me what he has. Do I not have the right to know?
Q. Hello and than you! So I have a question. My boyfriend does not work due to some mental issues but refuses to tell me what he has. Do i not have the right to know? Am i being yo nosy ? I asked him and he says he gets an assessment every...
A. 10 August 2021: Op, in response to your second post:
What is there to think about? Why are the red flags waving in your face not knocking you over? Why are you choosing to ignore them? I ask that last question because you surely cannot be oblivious to them.
... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable when I question my partner on why I haven't met his parents
Q. Am i being unreasonable when I question my partner on why I haven't met his parents. It has started to really bother me. Wee have a good relationship, been on holiday together, he's good with my kid ect. I think I keep myself reasonably well....
A. 9 August 2021: YOU see this as a red flag, therefore it IS a red flag, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
The fact that you have met some of his friends would seem to indicate that he has no big secrets to hide. However, after two years together, you woul... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not work due to some mental issues but refuses to tell me what he has. Do I not have the right to know?
Q. Hello and than you! So I have a question. My boyfriend does not work due to some mental issues but refuses to tell me what he has. Do i not have the right to know? Am i being yo nosy ? I asked him and he says he gets an assessment every...
A. 9 August 2021: He "has no idea what mental illnesses he has"? Unless one of the illnesses involves an inability to retain any information, I call bulls**t.
How long have you been dating? If this is a very new relationship, then perhaps it is understa... (read in full...)
I actually can't talk with him about anything without it turning into an argument
Q. My bf says some things that really bother me and I think I need to get out before it goes worse. We've been together 8 months. I'm 33 and he's 30. He can never just have a discussion as he takes things so personally and like an attack and is ...
A. 8 August 2021: You nailed it in your opening sentence: "I think I need to get out before it goes worse". You already know what you need to do.
You've wasted 8 months on him. Don't waste another minute. There is no way this situation is going to improve.... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over losing my best friend
Q. Hi everyone. I lost my best friend a few years ago and I am not coping very well with the grieving aspect. We met as teenagers, we were so close and we would drive out until the early hours and just lay looking at the stars in his car just cha...
A. 8 August 2021: I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to come to terms with your friend's untimely death. He was a major part of your life for so long and, suddenly, he is no longer there. That must be very difficult and my ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew until I get my drinking under control?
Q. I have a niece and nephew. My brother and sister-in-law are mad at me because I refuse to babysit them. The reason that I am refusing to babysit is that I realize that I have a drinking problem and I don't feel comfortable watching my niec...
A. 8 August 2021: Why are they mad at you for not looking after THEIR children? That sounds awfully entitled to me. It is up to them to find suitable childcare for their children when they need it, not up to you to provide it, regardless of being related to them. Is ... (read in full...)
Why does no one in my life care or ask?
Q. It’s that time in my life again. A few things fell apart and I’ve had a few hurdles. Whenever times like this come I feel alone. But I always force myself to think it is all in my mind. Except when 2 weeks pass and you haven’t really had any contact ...
A. 7 August 2021: I am sorry you feel this way. Sadly the majority of people these days are self centered and think only about themselves. As a species, we are losing the ability to care for others. We are more concerned about our phones and computers than reaching ... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend has become cold and distant
Q. My bf and me have been in a long distance relationsbip for 8 months we have only managed to meet and see each other the last three months due to the pandemic. So before he was kind and sweet and now he has withdrawn affection and romance somewhat. ...
A. 7 August 2021: You are still in the "honeymoon period" of your relationship yet it is already becoming increasingly harder work. You have only invested 8 months in this relationship. If I was in your shoes, I would be cutting my losses and getting out.
Your ... (read in full...)
Wife finally agreed to my fantasy of 13 years
Q. I have had a fantasy of wanting to watch my wife have Sex with another guy for over 13 years. My wife knows this and has just recently said Ok to doing so. Why is this such a huge turn on for me if watching her doing something she loves to do... ...
A. 7 August 2021: Tell your wife this was all just a fantasy and that, when push came to shove, you love her too much to want her to be intimate with another guy - which is, hopefully, true.
Work on ways to spice up your love life without involving third parties.... (read in full...)
Do men find women like me who don't gym or have toned bodies undesirable or not sexy enough?
Q. I am a 32 year old female. Of late I have been having issues accepting my body. I am 5'5" and weigh 63 kilos/ ~ 138 lbs. I watch what I eat and maintain my weight through walking regularly. I dont have washboard abs or a muscular body toned by gym. ...
A. 6 August 2021: That is just ridiculous. If all men felt repulsed by women who don't have perfect toned bodies, 90% of us would never have had relationships or sex! But guess what? Most of us have, despite not being "perfect".
And what about you? Do you only val... (read in full...)
She told me to forget about her. Should I?
Q. I met this girl we were friends at first and i knew she was instable she had a bad relationship for two years and she got out depressed and after some time she got back to life and going out ..... but she hated relationships and she said she feels ...
A. 6 August 2021: People make the mistake of believing that the answer to everything is "love". In a perfect world, it would be. Sadly the world in which we live is far from perfect. "Love" is NOT the answer to all problems. "Love" CANNOT fix everything.
Much ... (read in full...)
Hes being secreative with his phone
Q. I need some advice please. I’ve been with my partner for 8.5 years and we have a young child together. Recently he’s been taking his phone everywhere with him. If he’s going to the toilet, he takes it, if he’s washing the pots, he takes it, h...
A. 6 August 2021: I can't help wondering why, after he cheated on you the first time, you stayed with him and went on to have a child with him. It's not like you didn't know what he was capable of. The time to walk away would have been after you found out he was a ... (read in full...)
Was my partner being mean and cruel about my appearance?
Q. I'm in need of some advice. I've gained a few pounds during the pandemic. I used to be in great shape before I was forced to stop working out. It has been 1.5 years of inactivity. Even so, I still think my body looks good. I have gained w...
A. 5 August 2021: I think you need to sit down with your partner and tell him exactly how his comments made you feel. Then ask him to explain to you why he was deliberately so nasty. Be prepared to listen to what he has to say. Try to stay calm and talk this through. ... (read in full...)
My partner of many years has dumped me and I am not coping very well
Q. My partner of many years has dumped me and i am not coping very well. i cant seem to stop thinking about him everywhere i go reminds me of him as we went everywhere together around the uk holidays and local, shops, hotels, walks, seaside. i cannot ...
A. 5 August 2021: I firmly believe that we can feel more lonely being with the wrong people (or in the wrong situation) than being alone. You and your ex may have been together for many years but you have to admit, he didn't treat you very considerately, did he? He ... (read in full...)
Interested in pursuing a relationship with woman who has an eight month old
Q. I want to pursue a relationship with a woman I met online who has an eight month old baby. We met last year and we were both looking for friends during the pandemic. We have a lot in common in terms of hobbies, political views, religion, etc. We ...
A. 5 August 2021: I wonder, how do you propose "dating" her with the distance which separates you? It's not like you can just drive over and take her out for a meal, is it? How do you see this working?
It's one thing having a long distance relationship if it is a ... (read in full...)
Wife finally agreed to my fantasy of 13 years
Q. I have had a fantasy of wanting to watch my wife have Sex with another guy for over 13 years. My wife knows this and has just recently said Ok to doing so. Why is this such a huge turn on for me if watching her doing something she loves to do... ...
A. 3 August 2021: Just because your wife loves having sex with you doesn't mean she wants to be used as a sex toy by some other guy for your titillation.
If she has refused to do this for 13 years, despite allegedly loving sex, I would strongly suspect it is becau... (read in full...)
I caught him clearing porn sites from his computer
Q. My partner and I were suppose to do some research together on his laptop when I stepped away I came back in the mist of him clearing his browse history. I was completely shocked, he said he didn't want me see his porn sites and was embarrassed. I ...
A. 3 August 2021: He doesn't want to share his porn history with you, so respect that. Odd that he didn't do that BEFORE you actually started to use his laptop but perhaps you didn't give him chance?
Give the guy some privacy. If he wanted to share it with you... (read in full...)
My husband makes disgusting insinuations that our son isn't his!
Q. Hello So my husband and I have been together over 4 years. We share a son together. My husband makes remarks that really hurt and offend me. He implies his son isn't his. I have been faithful throughout this journey and he has not. I'...
A. 2 August 2021: Is this how you want your innocent son to grow up? Through no fault of his own, he is caught up in the middle of this feud between his parents. He is probably still too young to understand but that won't last for long. A mother's maternal instinct ... (read in full...)
We have so many holes in walls because my bf can’t control his anger and refuses to get help for it.
Q. My boyfriend never wants to discuss issues or problems which results in me feeling worse than I already did and the problem still there. I just feel like I’m being silenced because whenever I start to talk about things that annoy me or that I ...
A. 1 August 2021: Surely your boyfriend's behaviour must have been evident before you had your son? Why did you go ahead and have a child with this man?
There appears to be a communication problem between you, as well as your boyfriend's anger issues. If he will ... (read in full...)
Why am I not good enough for a relationship, or even fun a second time ?
Q. Hi, please help I am really struggling I am trying to understand the pattern of events that keep happening. I have just got back onto the dating scene and wanted to have fun to gain casual experience, but ultimately looking for more. It see...
A. 1 August 2021: As my partner is an ex fireman, the part of your post which immediately rang alarm bells for me was when this guy said he lived quite a distance away but worked close by. It is seldom that fireman work a long way from home (unless there has been a ... (read in full...)
Insecure about my girlfriend and other men am I overthinking and being unnecessarily insecure?
Q. Thanks in advance to anybody who reads this all the way through, it will probably turn out to be lengthy, and I appreciate any meaningful advice or insight on this. BACKGROUND: I have been in a relationship for about 10 years with a woman my age. ...
A. 31 July 2021: You are with a social butterfly so your thoughts and worries are (in my view) not entirely unexpected. I find it interesting that you state, quite confidently, that you know there is no cheating going on, yet you are still concerned she will meet ... (read in full...)
I've never been in love my whole life!
Q. I feel really sad writing this post and I'm going to lay my heart bare by saying what I don't even want to think to myself. I am 38, married for 6 years, have a child and I have never been in love. By love I mean romantic love with a man. (I'm...
A. 31 July 2021: The love you read about in (some) books in fantasy, pure and simple. That is what sells. It is a form of escapism from everyday life. Let's face it, nobody would be that interested in reading about "everyday" love, things like asking your partner ... (read in full...)
I feel like I helped him mature for someone else to enjoy
Q. I’m feeling very shocked and hurt even though I feel like I got over this past relationship. A man I dated swore he’d never have children. He’d be uncomfortable around them and all. I once got him to pose with my friends baby and his own mother ...
A. 31 July 2021: I firmly believe major life decisions are often primarily about timing. When he was with you, he was not ready to commit to having a child. Now he is (or perhaps the child was not planned and he had no choice?)
The name choice is a bit strange ... (read in full...)
Did I have a right to know about the abortion?
Q. I recently found out my ex-girlfriend had an abortion that she kept secret from me. Did I not have a right to know? We only went out for about 5 months before things went stale and we split in April. Last week I bumped into one of her friends i...
A. 31 July 2021: I'm sorry for your loss, which you are obviously feeling deeply. You are upset and that is understandable.
However, did you have a "right" to know? You and your ex had split up. The relationship had run its course and there was no hope, on eithe... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend, but my soulmate is out there.
Q. Years ago, through work I met the guy of my dreams. We were actors that worked on set together and he was so nice to me, so handsome, just everything I wanted in a guy all my life. The way he looked at me made my heart just race. I felt like he was ...
A. 29 July 2021: The dream soulmate is not a reason to break off your current relationship. HOWEVER, the controlling behaviour and lying definitely IS. Why do you want to marry this guy? He already treats you badly, like "property"; is that how you want to spend the ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him I want HIM and not his money?
Q. Hey cupids, anyone got any advice for a girl who’s really smitten with this guy? I know he likes me too but thanks to the antics of his last girlfriend he is struggling to trust anyone because she tried to rip him off. How can I convince him that I ...
A. 29 July 2021: Wow, you have really put this guy on a pedestal, haven't you? I do understand that you are attracted to him but wanting to rip off your clothes and demand he beds you sounds much more like lust than love. Don't get me wrong; lust is a VERY powerful ... (read in full...)
I got the married man, but I'm consumed with guilt
Q. I had an affair with a married man. He made the decision to leave his wife of 25 years for me. We have been in a real relationship for almost a year. But the insurmountable guilt I carry everyday for hurting his wife is eating me up alive. I feel...
A. 29 July 2021: You can do anything you like in life but, always remember, everything comes with a price. Astute people weigh up what doing something is going to cost BEFORE they do it and decide whether it is worth the price. The price of you "winning" this man ... (read in full...)
I met a new guy and don't know if I should end my current relationship
Q. Hello, I need advice on what to do regarding someone I met. I met a guy on Twitter. We’ve been talking for a month. I’m 25 and he’s 32. He lives miles away from me but we get along really well. I’m in a relationship and he’s single. I’ve been fal...
A. 29 July 2021: Let your boyfriend go. The relationship has run its course. The new guy has just served to show you what is missing in your current relationship. There are never any guarantees with relationships but, regardless of whether anything comes of this new ... (read in full...)
How do I explain how my boyfriend and I met?
Q. How do I tell my fiance's parents how we met without revealing our secret? I met my fiance at a concert and had sex with him in the bathroom. I know it was risky and stupid but I was young and wild at the time. I thought it was just going to be...
A. 29 July 2021: Why would you reveal any detail which you are not comfortable sharing? It has nothing to do with anyone else when you two first had sex. That is between you and your fiance.
To cover the discrepancy in your stories, simply say you met at the conc... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin if I've never had sex, and only masturbated?
Q. Hello I'm an 25 year old guy I was wondering I've never had sex with anyone yet and have only masturbated, does that means im still a virgin or not, and are there a difference between sex and masturbation....
A. 29 July 2021: You are a virgin until you have full sex with another person.
To answer your second question, the biggest difference between sex and masturbation is that masturbation is all about YOU while sex involves another person and should be about both of ... (read in full...)
Is My Friend A Creep? He Kept Sleeping With Young Girls At His Work...
Q. I was in a big bunch of friends from school etc. but we didn't see each other as much at/post uni, however we have still kind of kept in touch. Anyway there was recently drama in the friend group as I heard most of them stopped talking to this one ...
A. 28 July 2021: To me, your friend sounds a bit desperate. Out of this desperation, yes, he does come across as creepy. Bad enough he sleeps with all these girls (I am assuming, however, there is no coercion involved and that they all willingly jump into bed with ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling guilty and scared to have lost my virginity?
Q. Hello Everyone I am feeling so awkward about losing my virginity. I am no teenager or anything but I a come from a very old fashioned family that has instilled in me, the idea that a woman who isn't a virgin is worth less than a woman who keeps ...
A. 28 July 2021: Wow, you found a proper charmer in the confessional. For a religion which preaches compassion and forgiveness, that priest has a serious chip on his shoulder. I wonder if he was as harsh on your boyfriend, who was equally as "guilt"? Did you ask ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps talking about her ex - Will we ever work?
Q. Is it normal for your partner to talk about their ex so much? I’m guessing not. Been with my girlfriend for 2 months and I’ve lost count of the amount of times she’s mentioned him already. They still message each other a lot and she even gushed ...
A. 28 July 2021: I suspect you already know the answer but, like many, you don't trust your gut instinct and need someone to confirm what you already feel to be true.
This girl is still - to all intents and purposes - in a relationship with the other guy. The... (read in full...)
Ex's Jealous Wife
Q. My ex was married about 14 years ago. Previously we were together about the same but never married. We talk on the phone and catch up on kids, events, etc. His wife has forbid him to talk to me. She checks his phone daily and has confronted him ...
A. 28 July 2021: I am puzzled as I have understood from your post that the wife is current whereas the aunt and uncle who have responded have taken it that the wife is an ex.
Also, I assumed, when you say she is "following" you, that you mean physically, in the r... (read in full...)
Does he feel the need to be in control?
Q. I am in communication - emails and occasionally video chats - with an older man (late 60s) who recently became a widower. I knew him a bit before he moved to another country and before his wife died. I enjoy our correspondence quite a lot. I a...
A. 28 July 2021: I'm puzzled that you accuse him of trying to be "in control" when he actually takes your lead and only responds when you contact him. Surely that puts YOU in control? Or am I missing something? Nobody can have the sort of power over someone that you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to attend my daughter's church services
Q. My daughter is 24 years old and lives with me. She has severe depression as well as BPD and anxiety. Her condition has improved greatly, which I contributed to therapy. However, she told me it wasn't just therapy but religion. Apparently, she got in ...
A. 28 July 2021: When you say she has asked you "to join", do you mean to join in one service or to join the religion? If it's the former, could you bring yourself to go with her to support her on her first time? It might give you a bit of an insight into what the ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know any good ways of handling the stress of grief?
Q. Hi lovely Cupid’s, I’m wanting some advice on some awful events that have happened in my family the past month. My grandad sadly passed away recently and he was the absolute backbone to our family. I have siblings and due to our parents alcohol ...
A. 24 July 2021: I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grandad held the family together and the best tribute you can pay to him is to be strong and take over where he was forced to let go.
The only thought which came to mind while I was reading your post was whether ... (read in full...)
I got involved with him even though he has a girlfriend and its Long distance
Q. Hi dear agony aunts, I met J last month when i went on vacation (He lives in that country but we have the same nationality) A week later, we started going out and after one particular night out with other friends, he said we could go to his place...
A. 24 July 2021: You fell for a player and, because you were desperate for a holiday fling, you willingly accepted being the "bit on the side". Now you have gone home, he will have found himself another willing fling who will put up with being nothing but a ... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
