A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Years ago, through work I met the guy of my dreams. We were actors that worked on set together and he was so nice to me, so handsome, just everything I wanted in a guy all my life. The way he looked at me made my heart just race. I felt like he was my soulmate. Everything about him is what I was looking for but I was already with my boyfriend. Then my boyfriend just saw the thing and got really jealous of his looks and his kindness. He made my agent literally drop me because of his jealousy. He made me unfollow him and block him. He made a huge scene about this guy based on lies, saying that he answered a call from him where the guy was saying that he was going to pick me up. I had to call the guy saying why did you that, he said what are you even talking about?. It's like my bf felt the connection too but I swear I never met him outside of work. I've tried for years to forget him. I love my boyfriend very much but I don't know why I feel like this guy is my future husband... I am in love my boyfriend but he is too controlling, and he hasn't even proposed to me in all these 5 years that we are together, nor is he planning too. He just acts like I'm his property. He tells everyone that I am his wife but he never put a ring on my finger. I am so upset by this but I don't even want to be his wife anymore because this other guy exists. I feel like I am wasting my youth waiting for him to propose and I don't think he will. Should I talk to my bf? I am scared of his reaction. I've tried explaining that I wish to be single but he never agrees to break up. We live together and we are emotionally very attached. He is always up for "working things through". Should I break off my relationship because I like this guy? I just get the feels about him, I have fairytale dreams with this man.
View related questions:
jealous, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (30 July 2021):
 If you do not want to be with your boyfriend, break up with him. The breakup doesn't have to be a mutual decision. If it's over, it's over. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you. Your relationship seems pretty toxic at the moment and the best thing for you to do would be to free yourself from the toxicity.
With regards to the other male, to be fair, you don't actually know this guy. What you experienced was an attraction to this person and you're fascinated with the idea of having something with him. You don't know whether or not he's a genuinely amazing human being, good person or kind soul, you just know that he made you feel some type of way, you're attracted to him and he's in the same field that you're in. You never really got to know him on a deeper level. Perhaps that's what's driving you crazy, the what if. The fact that you're in a toxic, dead-end relationship doesn't help either. The fact of the matter is that you're going to remain a girlfriend. If your hope and/or dream is to be married and be a wife, then, you're most definitely wasting your time. The fact that you've stayed this long surprises me because of who and how your boyfriend is, coupled with the fact that you already know that it's going nowhere so why waste your time? Leave. You have to. For your own sake. If you don't, you'll never meet someone for you. I don't believe that this other guy is your soul mate, but I do believe that the longer you stay in this relationship, the longer you're missing out on actually finding someone that's right for you - soulmate or not. At your age you should be dating with purpose. With intention. Especially since you seem like marriage is something that you want. You're not going to get what you want here.
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (30 July 2021):
 Yes i think that you should break up with him, you are on here giving reasons as to why this relationship is not working.
Your heart is no longer in this relationship, you have told him many times that you wish to be single, but he is not accepting of this.
He is controlling, and you are scared to talk to him for fear of his reaction, these two things in themselves are red flags.
I think that you should just end things and become single for a while, and when your over this relationship and you feel ready then persue this new guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (29 July 2021):
 The dream soulmate is not a reason to break off your current relationship. HOWEVER, the controlling behaviour and lying definitely IS. Why do you want to marry this guy? He already treats you badly, like "property"; is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?
Regardless of the dreamboat, you need to leave this relationship. Is this all you think you are worth? You MAY love him but he certainly doesn't love you. He believes he owns you and owes you nothing. That is not good.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 July 2021):
 You need to ditch the BF. ASAP.
"'ve tried explaining that I wish to be single but he never agrees to break up. "
He doesn't HAVE to agree! You have to decide this isn't working and then what you need to do to GTFO! that means you need to make an exit plan. If your BF is as controlling as you say, you NEED to be careful leaving. You need to PLAN it. You need to secure ALL your important documents, untangle ALL financial things you share with him, if you rent, get your name off of the lease, and any utilities, find a place to stay, etc. etc.
https://cafemom.com/lifestyle/177119-abusive_relationship_how_to_leave
That should be your focus. TO get out.
You want marriage. Your BF don't. That should tell you that you aren't compatible. You sound more like you are codependent than someone who LOVES their partner. So perhaps, some counseling would be a good idea too.
"Should I break off my relationship because I like this guy?"
No, you should break off your relationship because it's sick and unhealthy.
Not for another man.
"I have fairytale dreams with this man." That is called a crush. We all have them. There is no DEEP meaning to a crush other than ATTRACTION. The rest is FANTASY.
As for the other guy, personally, I don't believe in soulmates. I believe there are MANY people who could be a good fit for EACH and every one of us. And sure this other guy COULD be a good fit for you, but that is (right now) besides the point. YOU need to end your relationship and work a little on yourself BEFORE pursuing someone else.
...............................
|
