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How do I explain how my boyfriend and I met?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2021) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2021)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do I tell my fiance's parents how we met without revealing our secret?

I met my fiance at a concert and had sex with him in the bathroom. I know it was risky and stupid but I was young and wild at the time. I thought it was just going to be a fling and it ended up turning into something more.

We have been in a long distance relationship for three years now and he proposed recently. I finally got to meet his parents and they asked how we met and I told them online but he had told them we met at a concert, but not the other details.

I kept insisting we met online which confused them. Now they think we're hiding something and I don't know how to tell them the truth without revealing what we did.

View related questions: fiance, long distance, met online

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (2 August 2021):

kenny agony auntI have to agree with the other aunts, all you have to say is you met at a concert, they really don't need to know any more than that.

There are some things in like that are best left unsaid.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2021):

Sounds like you want to show off about how sleazy and slutty you were then, as if it's something clever and to boast about, some sort of proof you are highly desirable and intelligent! The fact is that most who shag quickly never meet again and go their separate ways , you are lucky that you being such an easy lay did not put him off and he is still around. You are clearly very immature if you do that so quickly and if you need advice from strangers about it. Actually your question reads more like a man has written it and is playing with himself while he imagines people reading it. A fantasy he wishes had happened to him.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (30 July 2021):

Dionee' agony auntI agree with the other aunts. You met at a concert. That is the truth. What happened after you met that evening that is nobody else's business and you shouldn't feel the need to reveal anything else that happened after that. Keep it short, sweet and to the point.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2021):

You dont have to tell them that you snagged him at th4 concert. Just say you met him there, or you spotted him online and then coincidentally met at the concert.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2021):

You met at a concert. That's a fact! The sex part is none of their business.

The fact is, you two love each-other; and you're about to be married. You're an adult, and you don't have to declare every personal-detail of your life to your parents. You're not a child anymore.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 July 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhy would you reveal any detail which you are not comfortable sharing? It has nothing to do with anyone else when you two first had sex. That is between you and your fiance.

To cover the discrepancy in your stories, simply say you met at the concert then stayed in touch on line. That is the truth, surely?

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2021):

Just say that you first met at a concert but actually got to know each other properly later online. No need to go into any other details.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 July 2021):

Honeypie agony auntJust say concert but you kept talking to each other online.

They don't need to know the two of you got jiggy with it at a concert.

My advice? Don't lie. You will get caught in it eventually. BUT that doesn't mean you have to tell them EVERYTHING.

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