What is the big deal with losing your virginity at 16?
Q. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few weeks ago and I feel like my Mum and Dad are ashamed of me because of it. But I don’t understand why though. I really don’t see why it’s a big deal. I’ve been with my boyfriend since June, which I know isn’t ...
A. 4 December 2021: When you have a 16 year old daughter of your own, you will understand your parents' attitude. Until then, there is little point in trying to tell you anything because, at your age, you think you have it all figured out.
Stay safe.
... (read in full...)
Is my fiances best friend gay? Bisexual?
Q. I've been with my fiance for 5 years, but we've only been engaged for 2 years now, the wedding delayed due to COVID-19, lockdowns and social distancing, we were meant to have 150 people at our wedding. However, it's not our wedding that's t...
A. 1 December 2021: I'm not sure why there is a need to "label" your fiance's friend. His sexuality is irrelevant here. What is important is that he is making demands on your fiance/his friend which are making both your fiance and you uncomfortable.
Your fiance h... (read in full...)
Is 6 months after a divorce too early to date?
Q. I met this guy from my softball team about six months ago, that's right around the time he got divorced. He's 15 years older than me and has been with his ex wife for about 20 years, they share children but they are fully grown and do not live in ...
A. 29 November 2021: Like the other aunt and uncle have already said, he probably "checked out" of the marriage a while before the divorce. Quite often (especially in the case of long running marriages), the parties involved have moved on emotionally well before the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a married man to get a baby?
Q. Dear Cupid, Am I wrong to have sex with a married man just to have a child? I am 41 years old and disabled, religious and quite successful in my career. I have met wonderful people during the course of my career, however, my love has never been r...
A. 28 November 2021: Come on, get real. Why would this sleaze ball introduce you to his parents, ESPECIALLY if you are pregnant with his child? He is a married man. For all you know, he could have had a vasectomy and just be leading you to to get sex. Also, there is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves drugs and alcohol
Q. My bf is madly inlove with alcohol and also,takes drugs but at minimal Ive tried talking sense into him He doesn`t care!...
A. 28 November 2021: And there you have your answer: "he DOESN'T CARE".
An addict of any sort - whether it's alcohol, drugs, gambling - will put their addiction before anything and everyone else.
He's not making you any false promises. He's made it clear he DOES... (read in full...)
Does my wife secretly hate me?
Q. I caught my wife spitting in my food the other night. She’s been in a constant mood with me for months on end and I can’t deal with it. I’m fed up of treading on eggshells around her all the time. The problem is she won’t ever admit anything i...
A. 27 November 2021: She sounds completely stressed. Someone who is stressed will get upset by minor things because, to them, in that moment, it is the proverbial "straw which breaks the camel's back". For instance, you not putting the containers back in the cupboard ... (read in full...)
I thought my husband was having an affair. He was sneaking out to eat fast food
Q. My question is basically "Was I so wrong to be this concerned?" Been married for 13 years; we married after 2.5 years of dating, married mid-2008. From mid-August to last month, I suspected my husband was having an affair, he'd always go out in...
A. 27 November 2021: A few things spring to mind here:
Is it possible your husband realized he was being followed and decided to have a bit of a laugh by letting the PI follow him around and watch him eating food in his car?
Is this his way of regaining some "... (read in full...)
Am I right to dump her now that she is in prison?
Q. My girlfriend has been sent to prison for the next couple of years at least and I don’t know whether or not to just throw in the towel on our relationship. I really don't think I can wait for her. Plus I’ve really started developing feelings for one ...
A. 26 November 2021: What's your alternative? Stay with the girlfriend while bonking the FWB? You KNOW something is going to happen there. Regardless of how you define the relationship (FWB or girlfriend/lover), you will still be cheating on your girlfriend. You don't ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am losing a good friend and don't know what to do
Q. Hi I'm wondering how grief can affect your thinking and maybe make you lose perspective. My friend recently lost a close relative.. Since then he doesn't seem to care about our friendship, starting telling me lies, going to night clubs and gettin...
A. 22 November 2021: It's great that you care so much for your friend but you can't live his life for him. He has to make his own choices and his own mistakes (if, indeed, they end up as such). He is hurting at present and this is his way of blanking out the pain.
... (read in full...)
My husbands children are rude and mean
Q. I live with my husband My son whose 14 and my husband son who is 12.... my son is severely disabled... My husband has older children in their 20s and they are always crude when we see them we carnt do right for wrong the last meeting we took the...
A. 22 November 2021: What the actual hell is going on here? Children behaving in this way would be bad enough, but adults? That is just inexcusable.
I have to agree with Honeypie; your priority needs to be the younger children. Let your husband go and see his incr... (read in full...)
Do I delete her on facebook?
Q. Hi aunts need your help with this one as it’s a strange situation to find myself in. so recently I bumped into a female from school who I’d known and she used to have this crush on me or so she says. we never got together at school, as I did...
A. 21 November 2021: I think you are overthinking this. So you sent her a message and she didn't reply? People have lives. Have you never read a message from someone, thought "I'll reply to that later, when I have time" and then forgotten about it? I know for a fact ... (read in full...)
Does God notify all women that I am gay
Q. I asked a friend from school who I’ve know for many years about a lad who was really strange and asked what his name was, as I remember certain things. he didn’t seem to know if he was gay or not and he can’t think why he came to mine or what the ...
A. 19 November 2021: Ha ha, you really CANNOT be serious!
Of course "God" doesn't notify women of whether you are gay or not. Instead he puts a flashing sign on your forehead which flashed up "I am gay" whenever any woman shows any interest in you.
... (read in full...)
Soap star won't acknowledge Facebook message
Q. I’m friends with a soap star on facebook, I sent her a friend request as a joke and it backfired on me as she accepted the request. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times. she doesn’t seem to respond and only sees messages I send and doesn’t reply. ...
A. 19 November 2021: Well, at least I had something to chuckle at over breakfast this morning.
You need to educate yourself on how social media works. This soap star is not on Facebook to make friends or to chat to people. She's there to raise her public profile.... (read in full...)
How to deal with uncomfortable personal questions at work?
Q. I am asking for further guidance on a work related situ. I am a 30 year old female who has recently started a new job in the health service, I have an approachable management team. I am saving up to move out of parents household and I desire t...
A. 15 November 2021: I think you are making a huge mountain out of a tiny molehill here. Just because someone asks you a question, does not mean you have to answer it or disclose any information.
I find the best way to avoid intrusive and/or unwanted question... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a married man has feelings foe me?
Q. dear cupid, How can I tell if a married man has feelings for me or is just being kind and caring to a lonely, single, bereaved woman? We started chatting a year ago and are the same age. He "tested the waters" with me and I said no because ...
A. 15 November 2021: While you are dabbling with this married guy, you are not emotionally free to move on with your life. The sooner you come to terms with the fact that there is no future in this relationship, the sooner you can start to heal from it and move on. His ... (read in full...)
I am ashamed to admit that I am in an abusive relationship
Q. I'm ashamed to be in an abusive relationship. It's less the abuse and more keeping the secret that is killing me slowly. I feel that even if I managed to make up my mind and leave, I would wilt under the reactions of my family. For the past couple ...
A. 15 November 2021: The worst prisons are the ones we build for ourselves by worrying about what others think of us. You can't stay in an abusive relationship just because someone may think badly of you for walking way. Saving face cannot be more important than your ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but interested in someone else for quite a while. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years now, however 3 years ago I signed up to some dating sites and on one I met this woman who lives near by, we talked a bit - obviously me hiding my relationship, and actually met a few times. There was a real ...
A. 12 November 2021: How about you ask the woman who thinks she has been in a relationship with you for the past seven years what SHE thinks you should do? If she has a shred of dignity, she will take the decision out of your hands and dump your cheating using ass.
... (read in full...)
I want to meet the guy who saved my life
Q. I really want to meet up with the guy who saved my life last year but he’s really reluctant and I don’t know why. Is he just shy? Most of all I just want to say thank you to him in person but I have to confess I do have more intentions as well, ...
A. 11 November 2021: You are in danger of becoming a stalker. This man saved your life, politely declined your offer to meet and yet you continue to pursue him. If it was the other way round, and it was a female being pursued, people would be telling the guy to back ... (read in full...)
He only asked if I wanted a drink but I was horrible to him
Q. I feel really guilty because I was pretty horrible to a guy who gets the same bus as me every day after work. I’d gotten the feeling that he liked me as he’d give me all these glances as we stood at opposite ends of the bus stop each time and then ...
A. 11 November 2021: Yes, you absolutely should apologise for being a complete bitch to him. Regardless of how you were feeling, it was no excuse to take it out on him.
Assuming he doesn't try to avoid you by going to a different bus stop or even taking a differen... (read in full...)
Partner spends all his money then gets nasty if I don't give him money
Q. my partner spends half or more of his money every payday on weed and takeaways then he runs out of money and has nothing to eat. when he runs out of money he is horrible to me he expects money from me to eat when im struggling on my own paying for ...
A. 8 November 2021: If your partner is violent, get advice and help from Refuge, who support victims of domestic abuse. They will be able to help you get out and find somewhere to live.
Alternatively, try to find a room in a shared house or similar, which will be ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is immature and its annoying
Q. Hi My girlfriend seems immature. We have been chatting for about 6 months and have decided to meet. She hangs on to every word I say and I dislike that very much. Seems everything needs to go her way. For example, we talk on the phone I suggest ...
A. 7 November 2021: Any advice? Yes, call off the meeting, thank her for her time and move on.
Even without meeting, you both have aspects of this ersatz relationship which frustrate and annoy you. Why try to force a square peg into a round hole? It will never fi... (read in full...)
I ended the affair, we are both still married to our spouses and now years later, he wants to be friends. Why?
Q. I had an affair that was emotional for years and then physical for months. I ended it pretty quickly knowing how wrong it was - even leaving my job to get away from him all together. For the past couple of years he has continued to reach out, which ...
A. 6 November 2021: You say you have moved on, yet you still allow him access to you. Why? Why did you not block him from contacting you when the affair was over, especially given how badly he then treated you?
Perhaps you should ask your husband what he thinks a... (read in full...)
A young woman is harassing my fiance and the police say they're helpless. What can we do?
Q. I've been with my fiance for 7 years now. Writing in about a problem affecting him. I'm 37, fiance's 2 years older. No kids, just a pet cat and six cavies. An influencer, who's 23, has kept on emailing him asking for dates, sent him sexy ling...
A. 6 November 2021: I have a couple of questions of my own:
- If you have been with your boyfriend for 7 years, how come you are not married yet? Most people have either made a commitment to each other or split up a lot sooner than that.
- If this annoyance t... (read in full...)
Don’t feel like family care about me
Q. Everything fell apart for me a few years ago. We were living with my in laws and had an unplanned pregnancy. We kept having financial problems and my in laws filed for custody and won. It’s been endless arguing with my husband about each other’s ...
A. 5 November 2021: Like it or not, you need an appropriate amount of money to raise a child. Is your financial position now better than it was when your in-laws were awarded custody of your daughter? For people other than the natural parents to be awarded custody, the ... (read in full...)
Is it over before it even really got started?
Q. I was seeing a male friend. (a) It was slowly progressing friendship. I began talking to another male friend, (B) (b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all. However my first male fr...
A. 5 November 2021: Lesson for the future: one bloke at a time. If you spread yourself too thinly, it will bite you on your behind. If things with the first guy were progressing, you should not have been messing around with the second guy unless you had an agreement ... (read in full...)
My friend told me we couldn't meet because she was afraid of covid then I see on social media that she was out with friends. Why did she lie to me?
Q. I’m a little confused and hurt by something that happened last week and need advice please. A friend that I’ve know for over 10 years made a lunch date for us. We used to meet up often prior to covid but with restrictions etc… we have seen mes...
A. 5 November 2021: You have known her for 10 years but do not know her motives, so a bunch of people who don't know anything about her, except one side of the story, can't possibly know her reasons for doing what she did. We can only try to guess.
Perhaps she is f... (read in full...)
I suspect my girlfriend is seeing other guys again but don't know how to approach her
Q. Hi Something is bothering me about my girlfriend recently. we have been together since December 2020 but live in different cities as we are students. We haven't been able to see each other as often as we would like due to covid-19, as des...
A. 3 November 2021: Come on, you KNOW she is lying to you. What place serves food till 2am? Or even 1am, allowing an hour to clean up? 24/7 drive-throughs like McDonalds maybe, but nowhere else.
You have quite obviously (and understandably) lost trust in her, hen... (read in full...)
Feelings that I don't know how to address
Q. Hi all thanks for taken a moment to read this. I just need some help with a situation I have found myself in. I have a boyfriend we have been together 3 years, we are okay together sometimes. I feel somewhat unloved and not cared for as I should b...
A. 1 November 2021: Cheating is NEVER OK. Don't try to justify it by oh-so-innocently asking whether it's true that women think of others when they are not getting "what they need out of a relationship". You've been with your boyfriend for 3 years. Either work on the ... (read in full...)
My husband said he believes it is possible he could find the same connection with other women that he shares with me, his wife!
Q. Hi and thank you for reading my question. What would you say if your husband or wife asked you if you thought you could find the same connection with anyone else that you share with them (your husband/wife)? Or could THIS connection ever ...
A. 31 October 2021: You admit you are insecure. Your insecurity is YOUR problem, not your husband's. Your husband is secure enough in the relationship to answer questions as honestly as he can, whereas YOU lie in an effort to get him to say what you want to hear. Yes, ... (read in full...)
Why don't I want to give my husband any affection?
Q. I've gone off sex with my husband but I still really love him and am scared he's going to leave me eventually because of it. It's not just sex, I just don't want any kind of affection off him. Off anyone really. No hugging, no kissing, no holding ...
A. 31 October 2021: In my experience, most men and women differ in their outlook where it comes to sex. Most men need sex to feel loved whereas most women need to feel loved before wanting sex. Do you feel "unloved" in some way?
Have you discussed this with your doc... (read in full...)
The attraction I have to this man has caught me off guard
Q. A new guy started at my work and we've known each other for a short while now, when we first met we got on like most strangers who meet for the first time. Then one day we were both were working late and got into conversation, that we could of just ...
A. 31 October 2021: You've only known this guy a short while, shared one proper conversation with him, but you "know" he is a decent guy who will treat you well? How can you possibly know that from a short acquaintance and one conversation? You only know what he wants ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure where I stand with this guy, both sexually and otherwise
Q. I've been seeing a guy 22, I'm 33. We clicked instantly with the same interests it made it easy to talk and get into hours of conversation at a time. He said he wanted to go out and we did and had a great time. We talked for hours and it felt very ...
A. 29 October 2021: You are a 33 year old woman, hence an adult. He is a 22 year old boy, still a child (given that males usually take longer to mature than females). He is also still at school. He has different priorities in his life than you do. You are at very ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel confused or have I just totally misread the situation with this guy?
Q. I can’t figure out if he’s giving me mixed messages or if I’m reading too much into things. A couple of years ago I briefly dated this guy before he called it off as he just wasn’t feeling it which confused me at the time as he’d seemed really ke...
A. 29 October 2021: Stop reading ANYTHING into what this guy says to you. The guy's a player. He's good at putting on an act and dangling a proverbial carrot in front of adoring females like you, then snatching it away as soon as he sees you are falling for the fakery. ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are going away for Christmas and its really upsetting my family
Q. I’ve made the decision to go away to Barbados with my husband for Christmas this year and it’s gone down like a lead balloon with my family. But the truth is every year something always kicks off in my family which spoils the whole holiday and I ...
A. 26 October 2021: You can't control any of the members of your family or what they do/say, but you sure as hell can control how you react to them and how much/little notice you take of them.
Stop taking their behaviour to heart. I know this is probably easier s... (read in full...)
I'm sick and tired of his treatment towards me. It's always about his friends and weed.
Q. Hi and thanks alot So my bf can be very abusive. Verbally abusive. Resorts to name calling at the slightest things. He wasn't like that in the beginning at first he was calm and sweet then he changed alot. Maybe the true colors appeared. ...
A. 26 October 2021: Like Honeypie, I have to wonder what you are getting out of this ersatz relationship and why you stay. Do you think you would feel any more "alone" if you got rid of him? He is verbally abusive. He refuses you any attention or affection. WHAT do you ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for thinking this way about my family?
Q. Hello, I have had this question on my mind for a long time and I have never really discussed it with anyone. I wanted to see what other people thought. I am a son in a family of five. My relationship with my family is not the best. ...
A. 25 October 2021: My upbringing was similar in many ways to yours, so I can understand where you are coming from. Like you, I resented my parents while I was young, believing they were both "short changing" me in some way. However, when I was a little older, I found ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever had the feeling where they feel alone even though there are people around them?
Q. Has anyone ever had the feeling where they feel alone even though there are people around them? I think I may have done this to myself. I broke up with my gf after 8.5 years and I feel very alone. It has been 11 months and I feel lonely. I have r...
A. 24 October 2021: This is an all too familiar story. It is so often the case that the person who is always available and willing to support others gets no support when THEY need it. One of the reasons is, as you have said, because people assume they are strong and ... (read in full...)
How do I tell the my brothers/sisters I don't have the money to have them for Christmas?
Q. Dear Cupid , I'm a single woman and share a Condo with My Mother in her 60's .. Every Holiday for the past 16 years both My Siblings a Older Brother and a Married Sister with 4 Children have never volentered to have a Holiday at their Home. I ...
A. 22 October 2021: This is happening because you are allowing it. I completely understand it is not easy to stand your ground and say "no" when it is "traditional" that you do this, but your family are taking advantage of your good nature. Sometimes there is a very ... (read in full...)
How do I have sex with my aunt in the bedroom
Q. my aunt has romantic feelings for me and i feel the same way with her, and she keeps staring at me sexually and it kind of turns me on the way she does that. and i wish that we could make love in the bedroom (with protection of course) and as a teen ...
A. 22 October 2021: Really, you have no other options for sex than your aunt?
You can do anything you like in life but you should first consider whether you are willing to pay the price. The price of fulfilling your fantasy with your aunt could be a big family b... (read in full...)
I miss my crush so much but I probably won’t ever see him again.
Q. My crush got laid off due to covid last week and I miss him so much, I feel like I have a big black hole inside me. I wish I could say I was exaggerating but I really am not. I have rarely had crushes throughout my life, so when I have one it is...
A. 22 October 2021: Firstly, your manager would be breaking all sorts of data protection rules if they were to give you this guy's number. Any manager with half an ounce of sense will not do this because they would risk their job. You shouldn't even put your manager in ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to get pregnant by his gay friend
Q. I have been with my husband for 3.5 years, but we've been together for 9 years in total. The big issue here is kids, we both want them, yet my husband has other ideas about how and it's caused arguments. He wants me to sleep with his frien...
A. 21 October 2021: Sorry but there's something missing here. This is not normal behaviour for ANYONE, let alone a man who you profess is a "good man" and with whom you have a satisfying sex life.
Some theories which come immediately to mind:
1. Your husband kno... (read in full...)
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