I got involved with him even though he has a girlfriend and its Long distance
Q. Hi dear agony aunts, I met J last month when i went on vacation (He lives in that country but we have the same nationality) A week later, we started going out and after one particular night out with other friends, he said we could go to his place...
A. 24 July 2021: You fell for a player and, because you were desperate for a holiday fling, you willingly accepted being the "bit on the side". Now you have gone home, he will have found himself another willing fling who will put up with being nothing but a ... (read in full...)
Does he like me but can't do anything about it because he's married?
Q. Hello So I'm very confused about a situation I'm experiencing. Is this guy flirting with me? So he's married, I;ve heard things that suggest he isn't happy but I have no certainty. Yes I kind of like him but he doesnt know and I'd never act on...
A. 24 July 2021: If this guy is as naturally friendly as you make out, if he was actually interested in you in "that" way, the likelihood is he would have made it quite obvious by now. Not that that should make any difference, given that he is not free.
Readi... (read in full...)
We got together with another couple for lunch and all they do is talk. They don't let my husband or I speak. How do we handle this?
Q. Hi. My husband has an old friend back from his university days. Recently with the Covid restrictions lifting, we have gone to breakfast with him. The first time, he was on his own and the second he brought his wife. I have found to not have much...
A. 23 July 2021: They sound ill mannered and uncouth with very poor social skills. Someone with good social skills will go out of their way to make sure everyone feels included in the conversation, not just rattle on about themselves. Sadly there appear to be more ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have a right to be upset at my husband for complimenting another woman in my presence?
Q. Is it normal for your husband to compliment another woman in front of you? For example, yesterday he told this acquaintance of ours in my presence that she looks like she is in good shape after we ran into her and her husband at the mall. I have put ...
A. 23 July 2021: I think your issue here is not that he complimented someone else but that you feel insecure about your own body at the moment so you see him complimenting someone else as having a dig at you. Unless your husband is particularly crass and has a ... (read in full...)
My past life was boring. How do I get over it?
Q. I can’t stop dwelling on how lonely and miserable my teenage years were and how much I feel like I’ve missed out on in life. Every time my wife talks about her life and what she’s done I just feel so depressed, jealous and envious. The thing is ...
A. 21 July 2021: I am amazed how far you came before getting an Asperger's diagnosis. These days you would be diagnosed a lot sooner and be able to get assistance.
I can't give you any answers to the numerous questions you ask. However, I do notice how eloquent... (read in full...)
My cousin was diagnosed with advanced cancer. How do I support them in the upcoming weeks?
Q. Thank you in advance to all who help out here. My favourite cousin just received a diagnosis of advanced pancreatic cancer. We know it has spread to his other organs and that he will be assessed this week to see what his treatment plan is moving f...
A. 21 July 2021: I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. Not sure I can contribute much to this post but didn't want to read and run.
In the UK we have Macmillan Cancer Support, a charity which supports victims of cancer and their families with everythi... (read in full...)
I don't like that my current boyfriend was into threesomes
Q. My boyfriend recently admitted he's had a threesome in the past and I can't seem to look past it. It's just made me look at him in a completely different light now. I know everyone has a past but I can't help but feel embarrassed FOR HIM over it. ...
A. 21 July 2021: If you are not prepared to hear the truth, then don't ask the question. Why would he regret having a threesome? He was young, he got the opportunity to do what a lot of people dream about, especially men, and he went for it. He presumably didn't ... (read in full...)
Childhood friend has turned into a bully
Q. I’ve had a childhood friend ask me for so many favors like borrow money but then can’t pay it back or takes months. Then he will take me out to eat only to charge it for me later by saying he owes me less. He also told two people I was molested ...
A. 21 July 2021: Sweetheart, you are no longer in high school. Stop allowing this bully to affect your life.
You said it yourself in your post when you called him "my so called friend". What do you get out of your friendship? He borrows money. He takes you out ... (read in full...)
Chance Meeting or Fate?
Q. Hi - A guy I had a slight crush on a couple of years ago, bumps into me recently in a busy city centre. We hadn't seen each other for a couple of years but chatted away like good friends. I desperately want him to keep in touch with me (we have eac...
A. 20 July 2021: What should you do? I would advise accepting that, much as you may be drawn to him, he obviously does not feel the same way about you, otherwise he would not have ignored so many chances to do something about it. While you are crushing over him, you ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my 15-year old son to date an 18-Year old girl?
Q. My 15-year old son has recently started going out with an 18 year old girl. Is it just me or does this seem really inappropriate? Don’t get me wrong she’s a nice person and he seems to be really smitten with her but she is technically an a...
A. 19 July 2021: While I agree with you that an 18 year old dating a 15 year old is slightly "off", you do say the girl seems sensible so, perhaps the way to look at this is that he is probably less likely to get into trouble with this more mature girl than he would ... (read in full...)
How do I stop associating everything with my ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, How do I stop associating everything with my ex? It's kind of freaky how much everything reminds me of him. I don't want to be one of those people who get triggered by things even 5 years after the breakup. I want to be free of him. ...
A. 12 July 2021: We can't spot our thought wandering back to past memories but we CAN stop those memories from taking root in our heads. As soon as a memory of him pops into your mind, smile and say to yourself "not now" and think of something else which is pleasant ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has medical issues but doesn't want to medicate. This is causing problems
Q. Hi, I have written here before and got some really good advice, thank you ! So, my gf and I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year. Sometimes it's great, sometimes I want to run! I love her, I think she is a good person, a c...
A. 12 July 2021: She is an adult and entitled to decide for herself what medical intervention she wishes for her body. You have a choice here: take it or leave it. Changing her to better suit your needs is not an option.
She may very well be a "good person" ... (read in full...)
Advice for saving my mom. Is he a priest or a cult leader?
Q. Please exit out of this questions if you’re easily offended by religious topics, I’m going to be questioning some actions that revolve around that theme. How can I help my mom break free from the manipulation of people who only want her money? ...
A. 12 July 2021: I had to read through your post twice because the first time it seemed to be full of contradictions and inconsistencies. Unfortunately it was no better the second time around. It's strange how often a post will seemingly be about one issue yet, as ... (read in full...)
I need to let go but I don't know how
Q. How do I get over this guy (essentially a super attractive "Nazi")? (This is kind of a way for me to vent to gain some clarity, so it will sound a bit like a monologue). I've known this guy only online, for just over 6 months. We separated due ...
A. 12 July 2021: So basically all you liked about him were his looks. Are you even sure he used a real photograph of himself? As someone who is attracted to people's personalities rather than their looks, I find your post puzzling.
He sounds like a very screwed ... (read in full...)
I haven't seen my b/f in 2 months and he keeps making excuses
Q. My boyfriend keeps making excuses not to see me I haven't seen him for two months now he lives local he keeps saying he's busy with work. He takes 5 days to answer a text as well I want a relationship and it doesn't feel like one anymore. I get ...
A. 12 July 2021: Absolutely, yes. He is spineless and doesn't have the guts to finish the relationship, so he is keeping away from you so that YOU do the breaking up.
Nobody is so busy they can't pop round to see you for 2 months. I wouldn't even bother telling ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with my sister. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do?
Q. My bf and I were friends online through social media for 6 months before meeting. I'm 34 and my sister is 39 and she said I don't know him and disapproved of us meeting then promptly stopped talking to me. The other day I deactivated my Instagram ...
A. 9 July 2021: In your shoes I would take her offer and run with it. Just because someone is related by blood does not necessarily mean they are a good fit for your life or your well-being. What positivity does she contribute to your life when she chooses to be in ... (read in full...)
Cheater FWb
Q. Thank you for reading this.. I would like your opinions because I need to make a decsicion ….We have been friends w benefits for the last 3 years. I trusted him a lot we would see each other every weekend. It was pretty stable. Until last month ...
A. 9 July 2021: He is not your boyfriend/fiance/husband or anything else where you have vowed fidelity to each other. A friends-with- benefits relationship is, by definition, a no-strings relationship, where the couple involved have sex without strings attached, ... (read in full...)
Why does he look at me when touching my breasts
Q. Quick question. My boyfriend loves to play with my breasts and I sometimes wondered why he keeps looking at me when he touched my breasts. And I feel embarrassed when he looks at me. Every time I tell him not to look at me, he just smiled and will ...
A. 9 July 2021: My guess would be he is watching your face to see if you are enjoying what he is doing to you.
When you say you "moan", I hope that is with pleasure and not from pain. You should never allow someone to hurt you for their own gratific... (read in full...)
Things have never been the same since I cheated on my boyfriend. He just does whatever he wants
Q. My boyfriend is disappearing off on a lads holiday next month the same weekend as our anniversary. It’s really annoyed me but he doesn’t care a bit. To be honest our whole relationship has been tainted for a while and it’s all my fault. I cheated ...
A. 8 July 2021: Whether your boyfriend has forgiven you or not, he has certainly not forgotten, and he is making you pay for what you did. He was probably hurt a lot deeper than he admitted, and maybe even deeper than he realised.
A relationships is never th... (read in full...)
The man I'm going to marry still wears his deceased wife's rings around his neck. How do I approach this subject?
Q. Ok so this may be a difficult one… I’m getting married next summer (provided there isn’t another sodding pandemic). My husband-to-be is a really wonderful man and I’m so lucky to have him. However… He still wears his and his first wife’s w...
A. 8 July 2021: I think you need to broach this subject sooner rather than later so you have plenty of time to reach a mutually acceptable compromise before the wedding. I understand where you are coming from but also feel for him as it will be very painful for him ... (read in full...)
Unemployed boyfriend expects me to take care of him and pay his bills
Q. Thanks for listening! So, my fiancee and I have been together about 2 years. He is currently unemployed no fault of his own and looking for employment. However, he acts like I should be paying for everything. I don't mind helping out some...
A. 8 July 2021: He's on line, asking for help? Am I right in surmising that not only do you two not live together, but this is a long distance relationship? Sorry if I have that wrong, but that is what your post makes it sound like.
If I am right, and he is fr... (read in full...)
Engaged to someone new, but still thinking of my Ex!
Q. Dear Cupids, I have been engaged to my boyfriend of 1 year for a month now. He is great, kind, loving, romantic, hard working etc. etc. of course with a few shortcomings that we all have. Recently though, I have become obsessed with thoughts o...
A. 7 July 2021: As is often the case with posts on this site, I have questions of my own. For instance, why did you and your ex split up if you still have feelings for him? What "shortcomings" does your fiance have? Do his shortcomings make you yearn for your ex, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't believe that I'm a virgin
Q. I'm 24 years old and I never had sex before. Not even dated any men before. I started dating this guy 7 months ago and on May 1st we had our first sexual intercourse. It all started well but when we tried the 69 position he kept telling me he saw a ...
A. 7 July 2021: This man sounds as ignorant as he is vile and nasty. I am so sorry you got such an uncouth specimen for your first time. I'm not sure what it is you love about him. He does not sound lovable in any way, shape or form.
Sorry, but my advice w... (read in full...)
I feel insecure about my partner's female friend
Q. I'm feeling insecure about a female friend of my partners. In all honesty I'm naturally anxious and have low self-esteem however I've been working on this in therapy and feel I'm making huge strides, even my partner has said as much. But this one...
A. 7 July 2021: She sounds like she has the morals of an alley cat. While I can - sort of - understand why she makes you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is under any illusion about her character. If something was going to happen between ... (read in full...)
Is she just teasing me or playing overly hard to get?
Q. I’ve been going out with a girl for a few months now. Things are going really well and I really like her but she keeps sending me mixed messages when it comes to sex. We haven’t slept together yet, which is fine. I’m not desperate to jump into bed ...
A. 7 July 2021: My take on this situation (based solely on what you have written) is that she keeps lobbing you the ball but you keep dropping it. While you are to be commended (very highly) for not wanting to pressure her into anything for which she is not quite ... (read in full...)
I missed out on a special moment with someone I love
Q. Hi everyone, Long story short, this man and I have developed feelings for each other over the time-span of over one year. I've never felt this way, and I've never had a man feel this way about me simultaneously--this context is key in unders...
A. 5 July 2021: Sorry but, if you continue expecting life to be a perfect "first take", you are going to spend your life bitterly disappointed. Most memorable and special moments are not scripted. They just happen as they happen. There is no music playing in the ... (read in full...)
Why is my profession hated
Q. Thank you to all who respond. I know people are busy but the responses to thd questions I see here are really good. I am a high school spec ed teacher and as my students are high needs and could not do remote learning I was in person in my classroo...
A. 5 July 2021: Sadly I think it is down to sheer ignorance, nothing more. I don't think the profession is disliked as such but I do think is that few people understand what it involves. Ask 100 people on the street "what do you think about school teachers" and I ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's gift upset my father and I just want to fix things
Q. For my birthday my b/ of 2 years paid for me to have my nipples peirced which I have longed for for some time now. I mentioned it to my sister when we met up and word of it must have gotten round to Dad. He like totally went ballistic and when I ...
A. 5 July 2021: Sorry honey, but it's time to put on your big girl panties and grow up. You are an adult in all ways bar your relationship with your father, where you appear to be stuck in the daddy/little girl relationship. You need to acknowledge and accept that ... (read in full...)
What would cause someone to act like this?
Q. Hello, I have a confusing problem with a guy at work. I think he greatly dislikes me, although I have no idea why. This guy, was recently hired about 2 months ago. I was friendly to him like I am to everyone, but he avoids me every chance he...
A. 1 July 2021: He is at work so, while he owes you politeness, he does not owe you social chit chat (although I agree blanking you and refusing to speak to you is slightly odd - but not illegal).
There is no way anyone can know why he refuses to speak to you. ... (read in full...)
Can a school bully ever have redemptive qualities?
Q. When I was in 10th grade, the 11th and 12th graders were hazing and initiating us even though it was against school rules. I thought it was just a guy thing but then had an 11th grade girl tells me I was her initiation assignment. I had training in ...
A. 1 July 2021: I know SHE was the bully, but YOU were the strong one. She was sufficiently insecure and weak to need to bully someone she thought was weaker and more vulnerable, probably as a way of gaining acceptance from her peers, even though she must have ... (read in full...)
Has she outgrown our friendship?
Q. So I’m a little confused with how my friend has been towards me recently. We’ve been friends for 14 years and also colleagues. We were both each other’s bridesmaids at our weddings. Every year we exchange birthday and Christmas gifts but...
A. 30 June 2021: Some people find it easier not to actually end relationships but rather to let them fizzle out by removing any effort to keep them going. I suspect - for whatever reasons - that is what your friend is doing.
Take the hint and back away. You cann... (read in full...)
He acts like a boyfriend but will not commit
Q. I've got myself into a situation and think I need to walk away but it hurts too much. I've fallen in love with this guy. Id class him as a mate. He's picked me up when I've been at rock bottom and we message all day every day. We were supposed to...
A. 30 June 2021: You both have a right to want what you want, but neither of you has a right to expect something from the other person that they don't want to give. You have a right to want a committed and stable relationship, while he has a right not to want one. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has become a different person
Q. My girfriend changed. Itz a completely different person than who I met 3 years ago. She is 27, I am 35. We are planning to get married very soon. Now I dont even know anymore. First I didnt really pay that much attention but now it's obvious....
A. 30 June 2021: I would agree that you need to talk to her but I would also suggest you give her specific examples of what you mean by a change in her behaviour. Use the example you gave in your post. Think of more examples. Telling someone "your behaviour has ... (read in full...)
I have resentment towards my parents and I know I shouldn't
Q. Hi everyone, its been a while since my last problem and i still dont know how to start these questions. Thank you all though for the help My problem this time around involves my own parents and siblings. My parents are amazing as parents. ...
A. 26 June 2021: Sometimes we act out around people we are closest to because we see it as a safe release. Are your parents the only ones to whom you feel resentment or are they just the ones at whom you feel safe directing this resentment? Do you also feel ... (read in full...)
My wife is having an affair with my father
Q. I have been married to my wife Lisa for 14 years, we met in April 2005 when I was 24 years old and she was 23 and began dating 6 weeks later. We have a 6-year-old son, Simon (not his real name). I recently found out my wife has been cheating on...
A. 23 June 2021: So where is your father in all this? What does he have to say for himself? Surely you must have discussed the situation with him.
It all sounds like a horrible nightmare. Your main priorities need to be to find out where you stand legally ... (read in full...)
Lack of boundaries or opportunists?
Q. I have this friend she always asks for help with a lot of things. I feel her mentality is along the lines of "there's no harm in asking?". My nature is that I feel uncomfortable being asked for things too often and I have a need to support my ...
A. 23 June 2021: Your question has nothing to do with "northern cultures" but everything to do with this one individual. I am sure, even in Arab culture, you will find individuals who will ignore the cultural norms and use others for their own gain.
You already ... (read in full...)
3 of my friends like me and I don't know what to do
Q. I am a fifteeen year old girl who has recently had a lot of guy trouble. Three of my friends like me and i have no idea how to handle the situation. i'll start by explaining the situation with each one of them individually. 1, W (i have no intere...
A. 19 June 2021: Are you actually looking to date? You are only 15 and have the rest of your life to date guys. I can't help feeling that, if you were really ready to date, you would know WHO you wanted to date. Having "a bit of a crush" is a safe way of admiring ... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about my assistant after love confession
Q. I can’t stop thinking about my assistant at work after he told me he loved me. The problem is though I’m a married woman. I work in the offices for a manufacturing company and basically deal with all the admin work. I’ve been there for 14 yea...
A. 19 June 2021: You are having these feelings because most people are naturally drawn to people who like them. Since this employee has declared his feelings for you, you cannot just forget what he said. It is flattering to be admired, especially by someone so much ... (read in full...)
How do I make her see I can't always be giving her attention?
Q. My girlfriend is very clingy. She was not as bad earlier in the relationship. It was more tolerable. Now it's like call me or we don't talk enough meanwhile I text and talk as much as I can. She keeps track of dates, times we talk and the ...
A. 19 June 2021: The problem here is that you have two major areas in your life - work and your girlfriend - while she only has the one, which is, of course, YOU. She is bored and her life revolves around you. Flattering as that may be initially, it eventually ... (read in full...)
When should an adult stop having crushes on people under 18?
Q. When should an adult stop having crushes on people under 18? Im 18 years old and crush on people younger than me at my school. Obviously this is fine, but will it still be weird to be crushing on people in high school say when Im in college and 20+? ...
A. 19 June 2021: Slightly puzzled that you state you are 18 when your profile age states you are 26-29. Huge difference between the two ages in terms of what is acceptable and what is not.
Crushing on someone 4 years your junior is not strange. Hopefull... (read in full...)
I am really in love with my male teacher. should I date him?
Q. i am really in love with my male teacher. should i date him?...
A. 19 June 2021: Short answer: no way in hell.
Long answer: given your total lack of information, I suspect this may just be a wind up because you already know how most aunts and uncles on this site will react so you are having a bit of fun with us.
However... (read in full...)
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