New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244965 questions, 1084317 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I'm 14, he's 16, and I really don't care what people in school say, we just really want a baby.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am 14 years old and my boyfriend is 16. we really want a baby. we have picked out a baby name and everything. i know my mom and dad would be really upset with me, but i really want this, so i dont know what to do.

I mean everyone is always telling me that it will change my life and i know that, and i'm ready to have one. I really dont care what people in school say, i just really want one.

So what should i do?

View related questions: want a baby

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009):

I am 14 and when I was 13 I really wanted to get pregnant. I did and my baby girl Alissa is just beautiful. But you need to really think about it before you go and get pregnant. As I said my daughter is beautiful but you better believe it was and still is hard. My boy friend wanted a baby too and then at last moment he left me. Some of the unpleasantries are: the morning sickness, stretch marks, telling your parents, never forget the pain of the birth itself, also the sleepless nights, the worrying for your babies future financially and for its safety. First review all of these things and think of what your future could be like. You could have one of those good teen motherhood stories but the chances are slim so I'm advising you against it. If you decide against having a child young, but in the heat of the moment change your mind try to think of the unpleasant things. If you decide to have a baby even at this age, I wish you the best of luck!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2009):

why are kids in such a rush to become parents. you are not mature enough to look after a child. not to mention you have no way of finacially supporting the baby. i hate it when kids have kids and just get benefits. why should we, the tax payers have to support your children just because you are too young to have children and therefore can not actually look after them.

having a child is not like having a doll. they grow, it;s a life long commitment which brings many emotional ups and downs. i know couple who are in their 20's and they have broke up because they can not handle the stresses of having a child. why loose your childhood! you are far too young! enjoy being a kid and forget about having a kid.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, jorjax1x United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2009):

jorjax1x agony aunti am 13 and also realy want a baby and people may think your to young but i think i mite just go for it and have one and i'm only 13 so dont be scared, i know its wrong but i know how i feel you like have a need to have one dont you and feel down because you dont have one so wat i'm gonna do is wait a year and if a still want one then i am gonna do it you should do the same

its a big desion

good luck in future

xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, thelittleone! United States +, writes (24 September 2008):

thelittleone! agony auntMy lovely future mother ..

I don't know how hard can be to have a baby! but my best friend got married when he was 18 and his girlfriend was 17 .. it's really hard for them! ..

but they are inlove .. they still studying but they don't have so much fun in their lifes!

i remember when i used to be inlove with guy who was all the time telling me and asking me to have a bay! but then we broke up we didn't have anything even we didn't have sex but we broke up! cuz he wasn't inlove with me .. u can have a baby but u are so young and maybe u aren't sure about ur feelings .. today to get a baby sounds really nice then start to think about how many changes are gonna happen in ur life!

if u are totally agree with them .. i wish the best for ya .. but if u aren't sure don't do it!

xoxo

little one

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Ellzj United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2008):

I have read your question and it reminds me of what I used to feel like. I wanted a baby to when I was very young as I felt that I needed someone to love and feel that love back however I waited until I was 19 and now I look back and think that even that was too young ( although I had a car and my own house). Everyone will say your too young etc but no one can change how you feel but please listen to me it is very young!!! Kids cost so much money, they need so many things. You need to be in a position where you can fully provide for them so that they dont go without.When I had my child my partener fell into debt trying to provide for us and only now are we starting to get back on our feet and my daughter is now 8!!! Your feelings wont change but if you wait until you and your partner have good jobs, nice house, car you will be a great parent. Please dont throw your childhood away, enjoy life its far too short to grow up too soon, you will only regret it later.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tremor Australia +, writes (22 September 2008):

Tremor agony auntIf you really want a baby that much, you should be willing to wait.

For the sake of the baby, wait until you have a stable income (i.e. a full-time job), a safe and happy family environment (this does NOT mean you living with your parents), and a little more life experience and maturity (no-one is mature at 14 - nor, indeed, at 16).

This may take a few years, but if you really really want a baby as much as you say, you should be willing to wait until you are able to provide for your kid. Otherwise, you are doing this for purely selfish reasons and aren't suitable for parenthood.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (21 September 2008):

I was just like you I was certain I wanted a baby. I am 19 and am so glad that I dont have a baby. My decision on being ready for a baby changed drastically when I actually had the financial responsibility of living with my fiance.

You two are not financially ready to have a baby. You cant get hired any where and the best he can do without a high school diploma is fast food. If you two really are ready to have a baby move in together in a cheap 2 bedroom apartment and start to pay all your bills and get all your food for yourself and then if you can do that for 3 months and still feel ready go for it. That is if your relationship makes it through that stress and if you can get anyone to rent an apartment to you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Sweety, the true mark of a mature female, who wants a child--is being able to state 'why' she wants one and knowing that she and her partner, can look after a child, financially and emotionally. Without the help of grandparents or anyone else. Babies are selfish little creatures and require care, round the clock feedings, and diaper changes, a lot of attention and oodles and oodles of love...24/7. So can you tell us why? Explain to us, what type of feeling you derive from having a child at the age of 14? If we know your reasons, then perhaps we can help you with some more insights.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Please wait! Your 14 hes 16....what money are you going to have to support one? As bad as i want a baby.....im sooo willing to wait. Rethink this. Do you have the money? Are yours and his parents willin to help....propbably not. 14yrs old bad idea. Still very young.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ilu_ilu_ilu United States +, writes (21 September 2008):

you have to be aware of the fact if your 14 your hips might be to small to have a baby also there is more of a chance the baby could die. if you really love him then wait until your at least 17 to have a child because even though that seems like a long time if he loves you he will be there. i don't think having a baby at 17 or 14 would be the right decision but if your in love you should wait and enjoy life together do something like travel with him and learn more about it because sometimes thing can go wrong and you want your backbone of family friends and your boyfriend to all be behind you in your decision so i think you should tell your parents now so they know you want a baby even if they disapprove if you stay together for longer and as you get older the will accept your decision. good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I'm 14, he's 16, and I really don't care what people in school say, we just really want a baby."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312545000015234!