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I've always found myself being the 'shoulder to cry on' in my little group of friends, and the role has grown on me. I like to help.
I like to think I have a healthy amount of common sense. I try to be practical when it comes to advice. I am currently in a long term, committed relationship, so I hope I know at least a little of what goes on when it comes to relationships - I seem to be doing alright so far. =)
I'm young - there are a lot of things I don't know, or have no experience with. But that is why I'm here - to learn, as well as to help. |
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| Latest articles: The language of fans - A solution to teenage drama?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2008: After reading an abnormal amount of questions along the lines of "He looked at me, does that mean he likes me?!", I got to thinking about how much easier life could be if there was some sort of way we could communicate emotions without confusion. ...
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I'm worried about having sex with my boyfriend!
Q. Hi im with a new boyfriend now im kinda worried. we might have sex soon but i havent had sex for a while. and it was with a boy 2 years younger he was 13 and i was 15. im just wondering will it really hurt seen as i havent done it for soo long . ...
A. 25 August 2008: Just because it's been awhile doesn't mean you're going to tighten on back up or anything. If you've already lost your virginity, are well lubricated and know what you are doing, then it shouldn't hurt.
I could lecture you about having sex at s... (read in full...)
Is my friend making a mistake with her new relationship?
Q. I would like an opinion on a new relationship a friend has gotten into She is starting to date this guy from work since the beginning of August, however, she doesnt know that he is a lying cheating type. He has had at least 5 other women in t...
A. 21 August 2008: How do you know he is a 'lying cheating' type? Have you got evidence? The amount of girlfriends he has had isn't really an indication - perhaps he just had a string of bad luck in his love life?
What makes you so sure he'll get with other women whil... (read in full...)
Could you tell me what this word means?
Q. ummm i was wondering what bukkake was??? x thanks x...
A. 21 August 2008: Jamer70 has pretty much hit the nail on the head. Charming, isn't it?
Aren't you glad you didn't Google it? Hehe.... (read in full...)
I need to know more about masturbation
Q. OK this question is a little embarressing...I'm only 16 and i defeinitely want to wait to have sex till i'm married but i want to try masturbating..is that bad? Do girls my age do that? Is that normal? Also what about vibrators?..i dont know much ...
A. 21 August 2008: Of course it isn't bad! Masturbation is completely normal, there's nothing bad or un-natural about it. Because you are saving yourself for marriage, you may well experience a lot of sexual tension later on, and masturbation is a great way to relieve ... (read in full...)
She said the age gap was to small - what's a 'proper' age gap for couples?
Q. me and my girlfriend met two years back and i had to leave my country a week after we met for studies an stuff. We had a really good connection since then, we trusted and respected each other. We had a short holiday 3 months ago which i decided to ...
A. 20 August 2008: "Our age difference is too small so we don't be able to get married"
...What? Where on Earth did she get that idea? As far as I know, age difference has never been an obstacle to marriage. She's either got some weird ideas, or is making excuses.... (read in full...)
Why do guys make jokes about this? Do they want girls to think they are studs or are they really sleeping around?
Q. Quite a few of the guys I have been with have joked about not making marks on them incase the other girls see. Why do guys make jokes about this? Is it a case of they want us girls to think they are studs and that lots of girls want them or are ...
A. 20 August 2008: I wouldn't read too much into it, I make the same kind of jokes with my boyfriend. You know - "I've seen you every day this week, how are you finding time for your other girlfriends?" etc etc.
It could well just be their way of showing that the... (read in full...)
All the guys like me. I like this one, Sam. How can I go out with him without upsetting the other guys?
Q. theres a guy at school that i really like were really close friends and always have a laugh thing is he asked me out and i was scared because there were loadsa people around so i just said no sorry. and he just said i was only kidding like i'd wanna ...
A. 20 August 2008: Alrighty, I think we should take a look at your options here.
1) Ask Sam out with the risk of upsetting Will.
Have you talked to Will about this? Perhaps you should sit him down and explain the situation to him. You're flattered that h... (read in full...)
I want to be a companion for lonely women. Any advice on finding clients?
Q. I'm 19 and I want to become a companion for lonely women. I've heard that older women want more than sex (they want someone to have fun with, talk to). Well I'm good at that and I'm reasonably attractive too. Money is not an issue...if women pay me ...
A. 20 August 2008: I believe the word you are looking for is 'toy boy'.
Try taking out a ad in the paper?... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but he fools around with me. I know he won't leave her. What can I do?
Q. two years ago i had started my first job when i had met dave. as soon as i had seen him i was infatuated by him. within a couple of days knowing him i had made up my mind that i liked him, even though i knew he had been dating someone for a year and ...
A. 19 August 2008: You need to lose this guy, pronto.
Let me make you a list. He:
- cheats on his girlfriend.
- either doesn't have the bollocks to leave his girlfriend for you, or is just using you for sex - my bet is the latter.
- doesn't seem to want you... (read in full...)
Should I meet my boyfriend's new female friend?
Q. Okay my boyfriend has just went to college, I havent seen him in a week. I dont get to talk to him much because he plays football. Well, he meets this girl and talks to her and she says that she wants to meet me. He asks me and I dont know what to ...
A. 19 August 2008: Why would you 'go off' at this girl just because your boyfriend speaks to her more than you?
He's in college now, and I'm assuming you are in highschool. He spends he whole day in a different place to you, so odds are there are going to be peop... (read in full...)
All the guys like me. I like this one, Sam. How can I go out with him without upsetting the other guys?
Q. theres a guy at school that i really like were really close friends and always have a laugh thing is he asked me out and i was scared because there were loadsa people around so i just said no sorry. and he just said i was only kidding like i'd wanna ...
A. 19 August 2008: I have to agree with PsyCookie here - try and work on your punctuation so we know what you're saying! It'll make it easier for us to give you better answers if we know what's going on. =)
Don't fret about how other people are going to react to... (read in full...)
Should I try and stay friends with my abusive ex?
Q. Hello, I recently have left my boyfriend of 2 years. It has been 1 month. I ignored him for about 3 weeks because the last day i saw him, he hit me. this is not the first time it had happened. he has been hitting me on and off for about 18months. he ...
A. 19 August 2008: Listen to that gut feeling - there's a reason we have them.
He doesn't love you, and never treated you like a decent guy should. Leaving you to your own defenses while you were sick? KNOCKING YOU OUT? I congratulate you for leaving thsi monster.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend always tells me how 'hot' other people are.
Q. My girlfriend is always telling about how she thinks other people are hot. ALWAYS. When we watch t.v. or a movie together she always finds someone who she thinks is hot and tells me, or when i mention someone we're friends with she tells me how hot ...
A. 19 August 2008: She told you that you weren't big enough? OUCH. That's harsh.
Her words and actions are not those of a loving partner. She should be encouraging and supporting you, not degrading you with comments about your looks or the size of your manhood.... (read in full...)
Is it safer to use two condoms?
Q. ok this may sound dumb..but would it be better to use 2 condoms? or does that make the chance higher that the condoms will break...
A. 18 August 2008: As long as you lubricate properly, one condom should be sufficient.
Two condoms may rub against each other, which could cause a breakage due to friction.
If you are really concerned about being doubley safe, a better idea would be to get on the p... (read in full...)
Can some one give me a clear description of what the "first time" pain is like?
Q. hi i'm 19, and frickin scared of my first time. Could someone please try to explain the pain, relate it to something? and this is for the people that it really did hurt for?...
A. 18 August 2008: The best word I can think of to describe it it 'stretching'... Have you ever opened your mough really really wide, so much that it stung? It's a bit like that.
On a scale of one to ten though, I'd only rate it as maybe a five, or a six at the VERY... (read in full...)
He's a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out?
Q. I'm kind of confused, there is this guy I like and I am pretty sure he likes me back. The thing is he is a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out? It all started when his friend asked me if I liked him, but of course I said...
A. 15 August 2008: Everyone is afraid of rejection - it's never nice when you put yourself on the line and get knocked back.
Just because he hasn't called doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you - maybe he's been busy, maybe he lost your number, maybe he's wet... (read in full...)
He's a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out?
Q. I'm kind of confused, there is this guy I like and I am pretty sure he likes me back. The thing is he is a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out? It all started when his friend asked me if I liked him, but of course I said...
A. 15 August 2008: How did it backfire, exactly? Or has he just not called? Give him time, you said yourself he's a shy one.
Letting him know you like him is a good step. He now has one less excuse not to ask you out. But if he's a pansy and is not going to do it, t... (read in full...)
Should I have sex even though I'm just 13?
Q. ok im 13 and i want to have sex. i have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for about 4 months and i think i am ready he is 14 and is a freshman in high school i am still in middle school (8th grade). but my main question is, should i even though i...
A. 15 August 2008: Aw hun, I'm so sorry to hear that. I feel bad for you.
PLEASE know that this doesn't mean you have to do it again - just because you have done it with him once doesn't mean you have to do it anymore, and I hope you realize that.
Maybe next ti... (read in full...)
Will the pill work in this situation?
Q. i had unprotected sex with my bf on the last day of periods when i was drunk after half an hour i took an i pill i am scared i will become pregnant as i was drunk. will the pill work ...
A. 14 August 2008: The regular pill will not prevent you from becoming pregnant in this situation.
What you need is the morning after pill. It is available from most pharmacies, and can be effective up to 72 hours after unprotected sex - after that, you're on your... (read in full...)
What do women think about a guy thats 23 and still a virgin?
Q. What do women think about a guy thats 23 and still a virgin. thats my situation. im not ugly or fat....
A. 14 August 2008: A lot of women may well find it endearing - as Ruby said, it's a nice change from guys who have been banging since they were 13.
However, I don't like that being 'ugly or fat' are the only reasons you can come up with as to why a person might be... (read in full...)
Should I have sex even though I'm just 13?
Q. ok im 13 and i want to have sex. i have a boyfriend, and we have been dating for about 4 months and i think i am ready he is 14 and is a freshman in high school i am still in middle school (8th grade). but my main question is, should i even though i...
A. 14 August 2008: No, you shouldn't. If you have to ask, you aren't ready.
Four months is not long at all as far as relationships go. You are probably still in the infatuation stage, and hence, you'll be thinking 'we'll be together forever and we're going to get m... (read in full...)
I warned him that if he doesn't start wising up it will be over... what now?
Q. My boyfriend (whos a few years older then me) is wants go all the way with me but I'm not ready. He been putting a lot of stesse on me. Like the other day were in his car after a date and he was all over me. I didn't like it. Push him off then got ...
A. 14 August 2008: Well first up, good on your for sticking to your guns.
As superrrshawna mentioned, it sounds as though you've already mentioned it to him, which is good.
I'd say sit him down once more and tell him exactly what your issue is - let him know tha... (read in full...)
He's a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out?
Q. I'm kind of confused, there is this guy I like and I am pretty sure he likes me back. The thing is he is a bit shy and he won't approach me. How do I get him to ask me out? It all started when his friend asked me if I liked him, but of course I said...
A. 14 August 2008: Young men are no good at hints. They could not spot a subtle invitation if you smacked them over the head with it. I swear, this is true of just about every male I know, including my father, my boyfriend and my brother.
The only way you could drop... (read in full...)
I'm too different from most other teens? It seems like all the other teens are watching those dumb reality shows and Family Guy.
Q. How can I get a girlfriend, when I'm too different from most other teens? I always seem to have the unpopular or uncool opinion on things. Like watching school brawls, everyone else thinks it's funny and cool to watch. I always just walk to a differ...
A. 14 August 2008: I know where you're coming from, I was the same way in high school. It seemed like the majority of others were mindless trend-sheep who liked crap music, rubbish TV and wouldn't know a double-entendre if it bit them in the ass. And it does get a tad ... (read in full...)
I once suggested a threesome which we did,but how do I tell my bf it's now a turn off for me?
Q. My fantasy has always been to have a threesome with two guys. The thought of pleasuring 2 penises always turned me on. Well, my bf and I finally followed through with it with mutual friend. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. ...
A. 12 August 2008: Tell your lad what you have told us here, he will most likely understand. Just because it was your idea to have a threesome doesn't mean you can't back out - you tried it and didn't like it, and we all make mistakes. It will be easier to tell him ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to cheat and 'have fun' while you are young?
Q. im a 15 yr old young man, and lots of my friends say its fine to cheat on girls at my age and just be with girls to "have fun", personally i disagree with this because i disagree with cheating and i dont think its right to cheat at any age ...
A. 12 August 2008: I've always held that cheating is cheating, regardless of age.
When you call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend, that comes with the unwritten condition that you will be faithful to that person. Why even make the effort to date someone if you'... (read in full...)
I'm only 14 and my friends's are saying it's uncool to be a virgin, so I'm hoping someone will help me please.
Q. I really like this boy, his names jack, and people keep telling me to ask him out. But im really nervious and i dont know what to do. My friends keep telling me to have sex with him and go on from there, but the thing is im only 14. and im stil...
A. 12 August 2008: Aw love, I feel for you. It's never fun to be on the receiving end of peer pressure like that.
Do not listen to your friends. 14 is a VERY young age to lose your virginity. Hell, I didn't lose mine until I was almost 18, and I have friends ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend masturbated on webcam to my friend, not knowing I was with her at the time!
Q. well ive been with my boyfriend now for over a year! i love him and we have a fantastic sex life. but i slept at my friends house on saturday night, and my boyfriend added her on msn. he asked her if she was horny, he doesnt know her but she knew of ...
A. 12 August 2008: You are completely right to be bothered by this. Just because it's online doesn't make it any more acceptable - would you be asking these questions if it had been in person?
I say confront him on it. Sure 18 year old guys get horny, but that is ... (read in full...)
I am 14 years old and I really want to have a baby, I think I would make a great mom, I take care of my brother and sister all the time, please tell me what you honestly think??
Q. iam 14.and i'll be 15 in about 6 months.i want a baby so bad.my om never around so i take care of my brother and sister all the time.grew up rough no dad you know...i would be a amazing momma.people are costanly telling me im already mommy and i ...
A. 12 August 2008: As much as you want a baby, it's best for you to wait.
You are still young - underage, in fact, so it would be illegal for you to be having sex ANYWAY - and a baby is a massive, life-long responsibility. Do you really think you'll be able to ... (read in full...)
My older girlfriend is pressuring me for sex!
Q. Hey Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months know and we love each other i am 15 and she is 18, and she is ready to lose her virginity but i do no think that i am. I have told her this and she said to me that she will 'go somewhere el...
A. 30 July 2008: She honestly sounds like a bit of a cow.
If it were the other way around I bet she wouldn't take that crap, so what gives her the right to put pressure on you? Being 'manly' does not equal having sex, and it's ridiculous for her to imply that it d... (read in full...)
Should we have underage sex? I'm not sure...
Q. my girl friend told me the other day that she wonted sex but i dont no if we should because of are age im 14 and she is 13 but i dont wont to say no because i dont wont it to effected are relationship wot do i do?...
A. 30 July 2008: If you are unsure, then don't do it. You have years and years to have sex, there's no need to get into it early.
If you want to wait, then your girlfriend should understand. If it's important enough to her that it will affect your relation... (read in full...)
What is "talking dirty"?
Q. I have a rather odd question... When people say "talk dirty" (during sex), what does that really entail? Dirty as in gross? Could I get some examples? One of my exes once asked me to, but I had no idea what to say!...
A. 24 July 2008: Talking dirty is basically talking explicitly about sex to your partner.
For example, things like:
"Oh baby, you're so hard!" "You're so sexy" or "I love it when you thrust deep inside me", etc.
It's basically just saying how much you like wh... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to do an abortion myself.
Q. okay, so im 14 and about a week ago, i had sex. and we didnt use a condom. but heres the thing, it was in the pool. im affraid to tell my parents that i might be preggo. and i dont want to tell them at all. my bf bought a preggo test, but i have to ...
A. 24 July 2008: Do not perform an abortion yourself. There is no safe home rememdy, it is extremely dangerous, and you could die from blood loss or infection.
Wait a few weeks, and if you have not had your period, take the test. Visit your doctor. And tell you... (read in full...)
Is 10 minutes of foreplay enough?
Q. hi everybody, i need your answer for different viewers (men and women) my question is how much time would a girl satisfied of foreplay before getting in? its ok if i take 10 minutes foreplay before getting in? Thanks...
A. 23 July 2008: As Uncle Phil has said, there is nos such thing as too much! Personally, I've always held that the more foreplay, the better.... (read in full...)
What do I get my teenage boyfriend for his birthday?
Q. what should i get my 15 (turning 16) boyfriend for his birthday? i'm actually stressing over this. he loves video games, his car, and of course, me. i'm worrying that if i get him something like cologne, then he won't appreciate it as much as he ...
A. 23 July 2008: I wouldn't go down the cologne road unless he actually likes and wears cologne, otherwise, it's akin to him buying you flowers for your birthday. It's nice, but you wouldn't think a lot of thought has gone in.
You mention he likes his car - so why... (read in full...)
What is the etiquette of oral sex?
Q. This is probably a question that will get vastly different answers, but I have been curious to know the answer to the following question: What is the etiquette of oral sex? When you go down on a person, do you expect to kiss them after or do ...
A. 23 July 2008: I can't speak for others, but my lad and I have no problem kissing afterwards. It just seems natural - after you've pleased the other person so much, you want to give them a kiss. =)
We do tend to refrain from full on tongue kissing straight... (read in full...)
Can I brake my hymen by doing martial arts?
Q. I was reading another question, and was wondering if it was possible for the hymen to brake if you did martial arts, i have been doing it for a few years now. If so, it would of broken a while ago, right?...
A. 23 July 2008: I was a bit worried at first, I thought the title sait 'marital arts'.
I'd say all the kicking and the like could well have broken your hymen. But then, you can break your hymen by riding bikes, or through any other number of activities. It's onl... (read in full...)
He told me he loves me but I don't know if he means it. How do I tell?
Q. i told a guy that i love him so much and at first he didnt say anything but then he told me that he loves me, but i am just not sure if he really means it or not, because i thought it would be easy for him to say after me saying it. how do i know i...
A. 22 July 2008: Short of being a mind reader, there's no way of knowing for certain whether a guy loves you. But if he said it, he should mean it, and it should show through his actions. Is he affectionate? Is he considerate? Does he go out of his way for you? Say... (read in full...)
How come all my dates from online turn out to be LUNATICS?
Q. I have been internet dating on RSVP for 12 weeks now and have been on 6 dates. Each of these people i have gotten to know with several IM sessions, phonecalls, emails and sms chats. The thing is every single one of these people have been an absol...
A. 22 July 2008: Dear me, you certainly got your share of the nut jobs, didn't you? It's people like that who put me off internet dating.
At least you got some really good stories to tell. =)
Remember that people like you found are usually the minority. Re... (read in full...)
Is it my fault that he hit me, or do I just keep getting with jerks?
Q. My past boyfriends have been abusive towards me and before I got with the guy I'm with now I told him that I was afraid to get hurt again and he promised me that he wouldn't ever hurt me. Well we've been together for 8 months now and he's hit me at ...
A. 21 July 2008: Him saying it's your fault, or that you drove him to it, is a common excuse among abusive men - that is probably why your ex said it too.
Don't buy it - it is NOT your fault. There is NEVER any excuse for him to hit you. As annoyed as he may get ... (read in full...)
I hurt one of my friends badly, what do I do?
Q. My friend Hannah (not her real name) lost her Dad (he was 42) in a car accident and she been annoying me ever since it happen. One day Hannah wining about her Dad and I lost it (didnt mean to) and told her shes being obsessed with him and needs to ...
A. 21 July 2008: Just because you 'didn't mean to' doesn't mean it didn't hurt her. You were insensitive, and she has every right to be annoyed at you.
Why not just apologize to her? Take her aside and let her know you regret what you said (You do, right?),... (read in full...)
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