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I've always found myself being the 'shoulder to cry on' in my little group of friends, and the role has grown on me. I like to help.
I like to think I have a healthy amount of common sense. I try to be practical when it comes to advice. I am currently in a long term, committed relationship, so I hope I know at least a little of what goes on when it comes to relationships - I seem to be doing alright so far. =)
I'm young - there are a lot of things I don't know, or have no experience with. But that is why I'm here - to learn, as well as to help. |
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| Latest articles: The language of fans - A solution to teenage drama?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2008: After reading an abnormal amount of questions along the lines of "He looked at me, does that mean he likes me?!", I got to thinking about how much easier life could be if there was some sort of way we could communicate emotions without confusion. ...
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I love her but my friends think she is ugly, shall I go out with her or leave it?
Q. I love a girl and im 90% sure she fancies me. All my friends are friends with her but they think she is ugly. If i go out with her they will probably take the piss. Shall I go out with her or leave it?...
A. 30 May 2008: If you like her, then who gives a toss what your friends think?
If you'd reject a girl on the basis that you mates will 'take the piss', then you aren't mature enough to be dating anyway.
Realize that when you date someone, you do it becaus... (read in full...)
I told him I cheated on him to see how he'd react, since he cheated on me in our first month together. How do I fix this now?
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me in our first month but he says he pulled away straight away and the other girl admits it was her fault. We have been going out for 9 months now and i told him a couple of months ago i cheated on him just to see how he ...
A. 30 May 2008: It's a mystery to me why you would tell your boyfriend you cheated when you didn't. What is the purpose of a statement like that? Were you trying to see how much he loved you? Were you trying to hurt him? It just seems a bit childish, and a way of ... (read in full...)
He wants to try a new sex position. Is he bored with me?
Q. me and my partner of 9 months have only recently started to have sex. about 2 months but we use the same positions. He wants to try a new postioion does this mean he is bored? x...
A. 30 May 2008: Of course he isn't bored! As has been said, if he was bored, he wouldn't want to do it at all.
The fact that he wants to experiment is a good thing - it shows he is comfortable with you, and he feels he can bring these kinds of topics up without ... (read in full...)
Talking about sex embarrasses me, any advice?
Q. hi im in my late 20s and have been in a relationship for the past three years but when im out with the lads and any talk of sex comes up anything at all relating to the subject i get really embarrassed and my face turns bright red i also ge...
A. 30 May 2008: Congratulations - you're normal!
The fact that you go over sex in your head is not really a secret - EVERYONE does that.
As :):):) said, your upbringing could well have something to do with it. If it was a taboo when you were growing up, ... (read in full...)
He treats me like a child and is controlling
Q. i go out with this guy who i thought id really like. i had fancied him for ages as he's really gorgeous and kind. about a year ago we started dating. at first it was absolutely fantastic and the sex was the best ive ever had, but about six months ...
A. 30 May 2008: He sounds like a controlling bastard.
Who makes their partner wash their feet? As you say, it seems like that whole business is about having control and power over you, and that isn't healthy.
A relationship should be love between equals, ... (read in full...)
I think I might have over reacted, what should I do?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend (of 11 months) yesterday. I went through his cell phone (something that I really hate and very unlike me) and found msgs to other girls. I found the same type of msgs in January and confronted him about it. He said he ...
A. 29 May 2008: You're not being very clear - what /kind/ of messages were they? Generic 'Hi how are you' messages, or 'hey sexy babe wanna hook up' kind of messages?
If they are just friendly, conversational messages, you need to realize that it's quite possible... (read in full...)
We have already talked about everything there is to talk about!! Help please!
Q. I talk 2 my boyfriend on the phone since we started going out.We have been going out 4 four weeks and 2dayz.The 1st week we started going out we had SO much 2 talk about.But now we have those "awkward silences".We have talked about everything there ...
A. 29 May 2008: It depends on what you have been talking about. I'd assume that during the first week, there would have been a lot of 'getting to know you' type talk - what you like, dislike, learning about each other, etc. Once you know these things it can get ... (read in full...)
Most guys do like cuddling or is it just a girl thing?
Q. Do guys like cuddling? I'm seeing this guy but since he lives 2hrs away from me it's been a little difficult. We usually end up watching tv or a movie at his place for part of the time that we're together when I go to see him and when that happen...
A. 29 May 2008: If you always end up cuddling, then of course he enjoys it! As you say, if he didn't like it, then he wouldn't do it.
Everyone likes a cuddle now and then, including guys. I know for a fact that my boyfriend /looooves/ to cuddle.
There is ... (read in full...)
What do I need to do about this married man?
Q. Well what it is i met a guy and talked to him for a while and then found out he was married well i let him alone, but he kept calling me over and over telling me him and his wife was splitting up, so my bad mistake was that i believed him, he left ...
A. 29 May 2008: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
You've made the same mistake a couple of times now - don't you think it's time to learn from it?
The fact that this man has gone back and forth between you and his wife a couple of times ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions or funny stories about 69ing?
Q. i would like to hear your opinions about 69ing with somebody. like if you like it or not? or if you have any funny or interesting stories about it!!! please write them if you have any!!!...
A. 29 May 2008: I can't say I have any funny stories.
But as for my opinion, well... Let's just say there's a reason the move is a classic. ;-)... (read in full...)
What's the difference between making love, and just having sex?
Q. whats the difference between making love, having sex, and fucking? do you think guys know the difference or they just ask for one or the other?...
A. 29 May 2008: So far as I know, it goes something like this:
Making love is sex between two people with a strong emotional bond. Loving, passionate and gentle - it's more to do with emotions than with the act itself.
Sex is friendly - as in what you'd do wi... (read in full...)
Can you 'make love' to someone if you don't love them?
Q. can you make love to someone if you don't love them? if you don't love the person why would you say,"i want to make love to you" ...
A. 29 May 2008: Short answer: No.
Making love is sex with a strong emotional connection - it is more about the feelings than it as about the actual act.
Anything else is just shagging.... (read in full...)
I ended my affair with the family friend but he still pursues me! I'm afraid our infidelity will come out!
Q. I cheated on my husband with a family friend. Husband does not know.I broke it off, but he won't let me be. He is persuing the family friendship in an effort to stay close to me. He doesn't care whether our spouses find out. We each have three kids. ...
A. 28 May 2008: First of all, I think you should be honest with your husband about what happened.
Tell him you cheated, tell him you've ended it, that you regret it (You do, right?), and tell him the issues that this other man is now causing.
It may hurt your re... (read in full...)
Lost and Confused about love and marriage. Someone please HELP!
Q. I've been friends with this guy for about 5 years. He has been in love with me since the beginning. He lives in India, and I'm in America. I like him, but I'm not in love with him. He's lower than middle class, but planning on doing his MBA. He ...
A. 28 May 2008: I have always held that the person you marry should be someone you love, trust, respect and care for - and they should feel the same way about you in return.
A nice personality and a college degree is all very well, but it's no reason to run off ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with this friend?
Q. hey, im wondering should i have sex with one of my close friendds for the first time. actuaally what im asking is would it be right? becausei can see myself doing that with him, ive done stuff with him before. were really close and it would be ...
A. 28 May 2008: Do not feel like sex is something you have to rush into.
You're only very young - I'd advise you to wait a while longer before doing it with /anyone/.
Don't have sex with him just because he's your mate and you're done stuff with him before.... (read in full...)
Hes so jealous and controlling and I have to force myself to have sex with him and don't want to!
Q. Hello. I just turned 21 in October. I've been living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Things were good at first cause I was new to the area and had no friends there. Well I made friends...and course they wanted to hang out with me. At first he ...
A. 28 May 2008: He sounds like a controlling, jealous, manipulative bastard, and I'd advise you to go ahead with your plan.
A boyfriend should not be telling you when you can go out and who you can be friends with - a proper relationship should have a solid fo... (read in full...)
She's only 15 and I'm 18, would dating be a problem?
Q. I have liked his girl for a long time and we became best friends. We even had some feelings for each other. The thing is she's only 15 and im 18. I just wanted to know if that age gap is too much to date her. and if it is, does anyone have a good ...
A. 28 May 2008: As an age gap, you could do a /lot/ worse than three years.
Go ahead and date her if you like her - so long as you two want the same thing from a relationship, I see no problem.
The only area you could possibly have trouble with is the sex issu... (read in full...)
A student is in love with me, how can I as a teacher discourage this behaviour?
Q. Ok so I have a problem, I am a male teacher in the UK I am 25. I teach 16 -17 year olds. Having seen all the young ladies on this site who are in love with their teachers it terrifies me! I have a student in my class who has a bit of a crush. N...
A. 28 May 2008: You have done the right thing by trying to let her down gently. If she hasn't got the hint, then now may be the time to be a little more blunt about it - cruel to be kind, as they say.
Teenage girls often find it hard to drop an idea once they get... (read in full...)
I'm so nervous! How does one kiss?
Q. i am going 2 a swimming party w/ my bf this weekend.we plan 2 hold hands, hug,and kiss. but neither 1 of us have ever kissed anyone b4 and i am really nervous.i dont know wut im supposed 2 do and nuthing is giving me good answers.plz reply soon!!...
A. 28 May 2008: First up, know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. If you do things, do them because /you/ want to, not because people think you should.
Kissing is daunting the first time, but it gets better with practise.
Take it e... (read in full...)
I hate everything about my boyfriend but I love him more than anything in the world... should I leave him?
Q. I hate everything about my boyfriend but I love him more than anything in the world... should I leave him? I used to trust him, I used to feel comfortable with him in public, I used to enjoy having him around, I used to like doing things for him, ...
A. 28 May 2008: Odd as it is, it is in fact possible to love someone without liking them.
You love having someone to be with, you love it when you're close to one another, but their day to day bad habits are something you can't stand.
A relationship like that is... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what to do with what I've seen on myspace!
Q. hello aunts i need your help well i have a boyfriend who i love very much and i kno he loves me but he does some things i do not approve of well he has this so called friend and when i went on myspace today i looked at her pictures and i saw ...
A. 28 May 2008: The best thing to do would be to talk to your boyfriend about this.
Tell him you understand that he has female friends, and that you trust him (I'm assuming you do?), but that it makes you feel uncomfortable when you see messages like that. Te... (read in full...)
How can I bring up sex without making her feel like all I'm thinking about is sex?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about 3 months now and we have not gone much further than making out. I really like her and want to become more intimate with her. She seems to be a pretty shy person and i dont wanna make her feel uncomfortable. We ...
A. 28 May 2008: First of all, realize that there is no rush to get into sex. Wait until the both of you are good and ready. If you want to be more intimate with her, there are other things you can do besides sex - so long as the both of you are willing. It's a ... (read in full...)
I want to tell her what I'm feeling and thinking but I'm rather worried that it will scare her off ... it's a dilemma.
Q. Hey all. Ok, this is something that has been praying on my mind over the past month or so, and not being one to tell people what I'm thinking I thought I'd bash it out here to get a general opinion. Ok, so well I'm 20, and have been seeing a g...
A. 28 May 2008: This sounds like one of those things you will regret if you don't do it.
You're only concentrating on the negative outcome - it may well come to pass that she feels the same way. And if it doesn't, then at least you know.
I'd advise you to te... (read in full...)
How do you know if he came inside you?
Q. how do you know if the guy you had sex with came into you?? we only did it for bout 5 to 7 mintues at the most...and he put it in.. i just dont know if he came or not he told me he didnt but i dont know if he was just lying to me. How will I know if ...
A. 28 May 2008: Ah yes, Queeny picked up what I missed - if this was less that three days ago, /definitely/ go and get yourself a morning after pill.
As I said - it's parents vs baby. Which one are you more scared of?... (read in full...)
My best friend hasn't asked this one guy out for me...
Q. Well I like this one guy and I THINK he like me too, so what I asked my best freind to do is tell him I like him and ask him out for me. She hasn't done that yet so that is why I'm asking should I tell her go ahead or should I tell her never mind?...
A. 28 May 2008: As has been said, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Getting your friend to ask people out for you is never a great strategy - reason being, you can't be sure if they're going to do it or not, what they're going to say t... (read in full...)
How fast is too fast?
Q. HI , i met someone we get along great, he lives an hour away. We have been together a months. We are both finalizing our divorces but have been separeated for over a year. He said he wants to move to my town to be close to me and probably with me, ...
A. 28 May 2008: Everyone moves at their own pace - how fast you want to take things is entirely up to you.
If you are uncomfortable or unsure about him moving in, then wait.
There's never any hurry, and it's always best to be certain.... (read in full...)
How do you know if he came inside you?
Q. how do you know if the guy you had sex with came into you?? we only did it for bout 5 to 7 mintues at the most...and he put it in.. i just dont know if he came or not he told me he didnt but i dont know if he was just lying to me. How will I know if ...
A. 28 May 2008: Trust me, you would /know/ if he came inside of you. He'd have had some spasm type movements and then been knackered. Most likely, he'd have been soft when he withdrew. And you would probably leak a little of it afterwards. If he says he didn't, ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my fear of approaching girls?
Q. HI, im 19 im male and live in the uk. i realy want to be able to approach girls confidently and know what to say. im a good looking lad and i cant understand why im to scared to approach. i fear the girl rejecting me coz i look to young or skinny. ...
A. 28 May 2008: Visualizing these girls rejecting you is doing nothing for your confidence. You're convincing yourself of the outcome before you even try, which could be half the reason you find it so difficult to approach women.
Try it the other way around -... (read in full...)
I really want to stop masturbating!! Any advice?
Q. i really want to stop mastubating someone please give some advise...
A. 27 May 2008: You've not given us much to work with here, mate.
It's generally agreed that masturbation is a normal and healthy way to relieve sexual tension.
Why do you want to stop? Is it affecting you negatively in some way? Are you feeling guilty a... (read in full...)
I'm 17 would it be alright for a 20 year old guy to ask me out?
Q. Well I am 17 years old and I am talking to a 19 year old guy who will soon be 20 in a couple of days..at first we were just talking as friends but later we both ended up having feelings towards each other...We haven't hung out or anything like that ...
A. 27 May 2008: He won't get into trouble if he asks you out before you turn 18 - it's only if you have sex before you're 18 that would get him into hot water.
And 3 years is not that much of an age gap. My long term boyfriend and I started dating when I was 16 a... (read in full...)
How else besides lab tests can a pregnancy be determined?
Q. IF a woman is suspected to be pregnant, what other means of test aside from lab tests can it be proven. like what color her vaginal secretions are? are they sticky or what?...
A. 27 May 2008: So far as I am aware, vaginal secretions do not tend to indicate pregnancy. Depending on the age of the pregnancy, the signs can vary. The woman may have some spotting after fertilization, from the egg being implanted in the uterine wall. Howeve... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a hand job and a blow job, but I don't know how to do it.
Q. My boyfriend wants me to give him a hand job and blo job. I'm fine with this, except I never done it before. How do you do a hand job? How do you do a blo job?...
A. 27 May 2008: They are both fairly simple processes. A hand job is when you rub your boyfriend's penis with your hand. It's basically you masturbating for him. A blow job is when you put you boyfriend's penis in your mouth and stimulate him that way. B... (read in full...)
My uncle asked me out, and we've talked about having sex, but I have some questions.
Q. Hey, im having trouble with a major issue in my life. My uncle asked me out and i like him a lot so I said yes. But we keep it a secret so he can spend the night. He is six years older than me. We talked about having sex, but I'm scared it will hurt ...
A. 27 May 2008: What you describe is a thing they call incest, and it's illegal. I'd advise you to end the relationship. It's not healthy or normal to be in a romantic relationship with relatives, regardless of how much you like one another. You can get pregn... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex, but I've missed a period and have cramping pains and white gunk. What should I do?
Q. i am 14 and i first had my period in Feb. this year. This last month in May i missed my peroid. I have been having this white gunk coming out i have also been having pains that feel like cramps but their not. I have never had sex. my mom is very ...
A. 27 May 2008: It is very common to have irregular periods when you first start menstruating. You may go a couple of months without it, get cramping without having it, or you may get it twice in a month. It will take a year or two to even out. The 'white gun... (read in full...)
I want my first time to be special, so I want it to happen in a hotel. But he's done nothing about booking one!
Q. I have been wanting to have sex with my bf for about a year now. It is my first time, so he wants it to be right and make sure i know what i am saying. I have thought long and hard and i know i want it to be with him. I have told him this. Howeve...
A. 26 May 2008: I have never understood the practise of /planning/ to lose your virginity. It's always seemed to me that there will just be more pressure on the both of you to perform when the time comes, and how is that special?
The 'where' will never make it ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being so scared of approaching him and try to talk to him!
Q. Ello. Ok my problem is..a guy problem. Well I've pretty much had a HUGE crush on a guy since he moved to my town and we were in 3rd grade. Now we are in 9th grade. I still REALLY like him! He had a girlfriend not too long ago but they broke up a ...
A. 26 May 2008: It's always hard to talk to a crush. Much as you try and stop it, you go red and start shaking and can't look him in the eye... We've all been there, it's a natural response.
My advice to you would be to gradually start talking to him more oft... (read in full...)
I'm ready for sex but she isn't yet, what can I do?
Q. i know this girl that im going out with, we've been goin out for about 6 months but i've known since i was a kid. i love her with all my heart but im ready to have sex with her but she worried that she'll get pregnant since her friend got pregnant ...
A. 26 May 2008: If you really loved this girl, you would respect her decision not to have sex with you.
Sex should be a perk or a relationship, not a defining feature of it.
Assuming that she is a virgin, having sex with her 'just once' will not be a good indic... (read in full...)
What's the big deal with a guy being younger than a girl?
Q. yeah so I'm 15 and I like my friends who's 16. I asked her out and she likes me but she thinks its wierd being with a younger guy. Most girls think this but I don't get it. I know I don't act like I'm a yr younger or she woulnt stand me. All it is ...
A. 23 May 2008: It's always been fine for girls to date older guys, so I don't see why it should be any different the other way around. If you like one another enough, then it shouldn't be a problem.
However, if she doesn't want to date you because of your age... (read in full...)
I am trying to help her fix the problem but she is not cooperative...
Q. My girlfriend of a little less than 2 months had cheated on me with a number of different people. It has happened 3 times, and only once was she sober. I am trying to help her fix the problem and get through this myself, but she won't talk to me ...
A. 20 May 2008: Stop letting yourself get walked over.
You say you want to 'fix her problem' as if it's something involuntary on her part. Don't be fooled.
A drunken one night stand, while still crushing and totally unacceptable, may be forgiven with time. H... (read in full...)
I'm stringing him along before I end it, is this wrong?
Q. I've figured out I am being strung along and I think I will just string him along. I've stopped the sex and have become unpredictable and unavailable. He doesn't seem to like that much. Am I wrong for doing this for a few weeks before I end it?...
A. 19 May 2008: I would suggest you just break it off. Don't sink to his level.
Revenge may be sweet, but there's no dignity in it, and by stringing him along you are just as bad as he.... (read in full...)
He liked me back....well I thought he did.
Q. I really liked this boy on a school trip, he liked me back, well i thought he did. His msn broke down, and so i added him on bebo, and he blocked me from bebo. I don't know why but i can't stop thinking about him, and i know he can't stop thinking...
A. 19 May 2008: If he is not in contact with you and has blocked you from Bebo, then odds are he may not like you as much as you thought.
Did you leave him a lot of messages, or text him constantly? This comes off as clingy, and no-one likes a stalker.
I don't k... (read in full...)
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