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I've always found myself being the 'shoulder to cry on' in my little group of friends, and the role has grown on me. I like to help.
I like to think I have a healthy amount of common sense. I try to be practical when it comes to advice. I am currently in a long term, committed relationship, so I hope I know at least a little of what goes on when it comes to relationships - I seem to be doing alright so far. =)
I'm young - there are a lot of things I don't know, or have no experience with. But that is why I'm here - to learn, as well as to help. |
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| Latest articles: The language of fans - A solution to teenage drama?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2008: After reading an abnormal amount of questions along the lines of "He looked at me, does that mean he likes me?!", I got to thinking about how much easier life could be if there was some sort of way we could communicate emotions without confusion. ...
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This girl is all over him, and he does nothing to stop it. Is he cheating on me?
Q. ok so me and my bf have been together since last year. and honestly i KNOW (underline) that he is the love of my life. recently he has had 4 ppl tell him that they like him. no big right? right. well iv herd from some of my bestfriends tell me...
A. 19 September 2008: Happy to help. I'm glad it worked out for you. =)... (read in full...)
I got called a fat cow and now I'm paranoid....am I overweight??
Q. Well, i just wanted to no if you think im over weight, Im 14 nearly 15, im 7 stone 2 Lbs and 5"4-5, i think im pretty chubby for my height and age, all my friends tell me im not fat and that im skinny, but the other day this person called me a fat ...
A. 19 September 2008: 7 stone 2 pounds?
Hang on while I convert that... That's 100 pounds, which is only like 45-46 kilos. Dear me love, you're not even CLOSE to fat. If anything, you're probably closer to underweight.
Just because someone called you fat doesn't ... (read in full...)
My younger sister hates my girlfriend, and I don't know what do to.
Q. I been with my girlfriend for awhile (almost a year.) But my sister (who's only 6) hates her. One day when she came over to my house. I couldn't answer the door so my sister answer it. And cover her with silly swing (I saw the whole thing.) She got ...
A. 18 September 2008: Well, have you talked to your little sister? Maybe she's feeling a bit left out, maybe she feels like her big brother isn't there for her anymore.
Try and ask her why she doesn't like your girlfriend, and explain to her that even if she doesn't,... (read in full...)
I don't understand why I've never had any luck with girls. any help would be much appreciated.
Q. I am a 17 year old, nice, charming, funny, not ugly guy who plays guitar and really tries to get a girlfriend, much less a date, but always fails. Why is this? I've tried to have a relationship with 6 different girls, but they all rejected me. ...
A. 18 September 2008: I think where you're going wrong is the 'really trying' part. Girls can tell when you're just being friendly, and when you're trying for something more.
How do you go about approaching girls? How do you treat them when you're trying to charm th... (read in full...)
Does he want me to show a sweet side or sumthing?please help me,i don't know what to think.?
Q. hi...this guy that ive been kinda talkn to keeps botherin me in da day time and like one thirty in da mornin.we mostly text each other.he kept asking me to apologize for snapping at him.I snapped at him through a text and he keeps asking me to ...
A. 18 September 2008: He wants you to apologize for snapping at him when he texted you at 1:30AM?
Hell, I'd have snapped at him too. But perhaps just throw him a bone this time and say something like 'I'm sorry for snapping, but you can't really expect me to be all s... (read in full...)
How can we make our first time about showing our love and not just about sex??
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 15. We met when he was 8 and I was 9 at school. We hit it off at school and started doing group things together and then eating lunch together. A year later his parents were looking to move to a new neighborhood. After ...
A. 18 September 2008: Well, that's a lot of questions! But good on you for finding out what you need to know beforehand.
Whether you are ready for sex or not is completely up to you. Only you and Joe will know when the right time is.
Perhaps you should consider eas... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends more time on Runescape than he does with me!
Q. Hey,, Since May 16, 2008 (Friday) I've got a boyfriend W.,, I really love him,, and he loved me too.. But now there's a boy V. and he's 12 years old and he makes our relationship bad and runescape too.. W. is 15 and I'm 16 before you didn't know....
A. 18 September 2008: I don't see what V has to do with anything, aside from the fact that he plays Runescape with your boyfriend. He doesn't seem to be involved in any important way. Care to clarify?
W has already told you he's thought about breaking up - perhaps ... (read in full...)
This girl is all over him, and he does nothing to stop it. Is he cheating on me?
Q. ok so me and my bf have been together since last year. and honestly i KNOW (underline) that he is the love of my life. recently he has had 4 ppl tell him that they like him. no big right? right. well iv herd from some of my bestfriends tell me...
A. 18 September 2008: What exactly do you mean when you say this girl is 'all over him'? Have you seen her do it, or is it just word of mouth?
Remember that teenage boys, and teenage girls, for that matter, are creatures of reputation. Perhaps your boyfriend is afrai... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant? I'm nauseous, sensitive to smell, gaining weight and have lost my appetite.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months now and recently about 3 weeks ago I started taking birth control, now about a week ago I started feeling very very nauseous all the time, all day. Also my sense of smell has been very fragile and ...
A. 18 September 2008: From the sypmtoms you describe, it sounds like you could be. It's possible that your condom broke or leaked.
Was the last period you had unusually light? Sometimes spotting occurs when the egg implants itself into the wall of the uterus, so perha... (read in full...)
Not really a love/relationship question, but... Does anyone know of a free, decent music download program?
Q. this isn't a love/relationship question but i don't wanna search it over google cuz they'll give me wrong answers. so anyways, does anyone know any music programs that are free that don't give you viruses because i'm not allowed to download ...
A. 18 September 2008: Try Soulseek. It's reliable, no clutter, and free. You can download whole albums at a time, and it's really good for finding lesser-known bands.
Just google it and click on the one that says 'Slsknet'.... (read in full...)
I'm unsure about losing my virginity. I love my boyfriend, but I promised myself I would wait until marriage.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 month and 15 days (( Yes, I counted the days, shoot me )) and we've been talking about sex latley. We played the nervous game one time and he was suppose to go in my pants, but he went in my underwear by ...
A. 18 September 2008: First point - one month is no time at all when it comes to relationships. One month and fifteen days is only six weeks - it's like a drop in the ocean.
Second point- you are only very young. Don't be in a hurry to lose your virginity. You only los... (read in full...)
How should I clean 'down there'?
Q. what's the proper way i should be cleaning /down there/?...
A. 18 September 2008: The great thing about vaginas, aside from the obvious, is that they are self-cleaning.
You don't need to douche or thoroughly wash it in any way - doing so can mess up the natural balance of things 'down there'.
The most you need do is run w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have sex, without using protection, or birth control pills, what else can I do to avoid getting pregnant?
Q. hi, my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a year and a half and have never used a condom and I am not on birth control. I feel like we are playing with fire and that it is only a matter of time before I get pregnant, but then again maybe I ...
A. 18 September 2008: Hmm.
I do see your dilemma, but you're still being veeeeery silly by not using protection.
And really, what would be worse - your parents finding out you're having sex by finding your condoms, or you parents finding out you're having sex becau... (read in full...)
What classifies as an "active" sex life? Just curious?
Q. How much times do you have to have sex in a week to have an active sexual life??...
A. 17 September 2008: I think it's something that really depends on the couple.
I mean, a couple may see each other once a month - but if they have sex a couple of times every time they see one another, then that could be classified as an active sex life.
On the ot... (read in full...)
Reluctant to let him see me naked as I feel too fat!
Q. ok i am 18 year old and i am 5'2 i wieght 140 ok the problem is that my boyfriend what us to have sex but we havent because of me. i feel too fat and i dont want him to see me naked because i think i might crouse him out what do i do i know am ...
A. 17 September 2008: It's perfectly natural to be worried when getting naked in front of someone else - it's a vulnerable position to be in. But if your boyfriend is a decent bloke, he will love you regardless of what you look like naked - in fact, he will probably ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have sex, without using protection, or birth control pills, what else can I do to avoid getting pregnant?
Q. hi, my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a year and a half and have never used a condom and I am not on birth control. I feel like we are playing with fire and that it is only a matter of time before I get pregnant, but then again maybe I ...
A. 17 September 2008: So, you don't want to become pregnant, and yet, you AREN'T using condoms and/or birth control?
...WHY?
The pull-out method is risky business, because there /is/ the risk of pre-cum, and of course, the risk that he won't pull out.
Do the s... (read in full...)
Our sex life is great it's just that he is wanting to do it always, is this a normal guy thing?
Q. hey everyone just need some advice... i recently gave away my virginty to a person that i am with.. we both love each other and i felt it he was the right guy... anyway the issue however is the fact that he is alwaysss on it... our sex life is great ...
A. 17 September 2008: I'd say it's a guy thing, but that doesn't mean you have to go along with it.
I remember being in a similar situation - my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, and after that first time, he wanted it every time he saw me. Which wa... (read in full...)
Is it true you can get pregnant if a guy gets too close to you?
Q. I've missed my period, but i've missed it before i don't know why, but i wasnt pregnant cause i didnt have sex. But now im worried because i've heard that u can get pregnant if a guys gets close 2 u, if he touches u, and thats what happened, and now ...
A. 17 September 2008: Where on Earth did you get your sex education?
The other aunts are right - just being close to a guy will NOT get your pregnant, ever. The only way to become pregnant is to have sex, and have the guy ejaculate inside of you. If you haven't ... (read in full...)
My friend told me it's best to lose my virginity myself and not let my boyfriend do it....
Q. If been with my boyfriend for more that one year and i want to have sex with him (im a virgin)...so I told a friend about it and she told me that it was better that i would lose it with myself so he will not see the blood, and i wouldnt feel the ...
A. 16 September 2008: By definition, you can't lose your virginity by yourself. Losing your virginity is having a penis in your vagina for the first time - hence, you kinda need another person to do it with.
I think what your friend meant was breaking your hymen, a... (read in full...)
He went down on me and wanted nothing in return - is this normal?
Q. Me and this guy that I've only met twice have hooked up each time we've been together while at a friend's house. Each time, he's gone down on me, but afterwards it didn't seem like he wanted anything in return. Does that seem wierd to anyone? Why ...
A. 15 September 2008: You're worried about no-strings oral sex?
...WHY?! Enjoy it!
I wouldn't consider it weird. My boyfriend is the same way, and I with him. Often enough, seeing the other person turned on is a huge turn-on in itself.
How do you know he di... (read in full...)
How can you tell when a girl wants to be hit on?
Q. How do you tell when a woman wants to be hit on and when she wants to be left alone? I was trying to strike up a conversation with a girl at the store and after a couple minutes she said "Can't you see I'm busy!" I like hitting on girls but I don'...
A. 15 September 2008: Honestly, I find the act of 'hitting' on a girl annoying in itself. Girls can generally tell when you're just being friendly, and when you've got an agenda. But then, that may just be me.
Body language is key. There are all kinds of messages... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a 13 year old to date a 16 year old?
Q. im 13 and i really like this guy who is 15, but he is about to turn 16 in a couple months, is it wrong if we date? but i really like him, and he really likes me....
A. 15 September 2008: Of course it isn't 'wrong'. As far as age gaps go, you could do worse than three years.
That said, if you DO go out, be aware that a 16 year old boy will likely want different things out of a relationship than a 13 year old girl - not only in ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation a sin?
Q. I am a christian who masterbates. I want to know whether masterbation is a sin or not. please help....
A. 9 September 2008: I'm pretty sure it's frowned upon in Catholicism, but since you said Christian, then I'm assuming that isn't the case. As far as I'm aware, it's perfectly fine - you're still saving yourself, so where's the harm in releasing the tension that will ... (read in full...)
A lot of people think my girlfriend is a loser and she's afraid I'll leave her because of that, which is not true. What can I do to change her mind?
Q. I'm dating a girl who everyone says she's a loser (which she isn't) and I'm being treated differently for it. When we started dating all my friends kept saying need to dump her. She put up with a lot of crap from everyone (like jocks, popular girls ...
A. 5 September 2008: Well first of all, I must applaud you for sticking by your lady, especially at your age when everyone is so wrapped up in repuation. Good on you.
The best thing you can do for you girl is just reassure her. Stick up for her if people are mean, se... (read in full...)
Cosmo says sex should last 45 minutes. What do you do all that time?
Q. Hi I have a question about sex. Basically, I just read in cosmopolitan that 34% of a poll of men thought the best length of time to spend having sex was 45 minutes. As a virgin, I was just wondering how you have sex for a length of tim eth...
A. 5 September 2008: Keep in mind that the surveys in Cosmo are probably not comprehensive - women's magazines just aren't that credible. (That said, by God are they entertaining. =D)
I'd agree with the other posters - they probably include the foreplay in that 45 ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity but I don't know who to lose it with!
Q. i want to lose my virginity but idk who to loose it with...i want to with my ex because he's the only one that im comfortable with...im not comfortable wit sumone else...so should i just have sex wit my ex and continue on with my life? or just ...
A. 5 September 2008: Why are you in such a hurry to lose your virginity? You're only young, you have YEARS to find someone special to lose it to. I think you'll find that if you have sex now, you'll regret it.
Your ex may be the only person you are comforta... (read in full...)
She dumped me because I lied about my virginity! What do I do now?
Q. ok i told my good friend that i wasnt a virgin and told her to not to tell anyone... then i started dating this girl i really like and care for... and one day she asked if i was a virgin and i told her yes and she said ok.. then today my good ...
A. 4 September 2008: If you liked and cared for her so much, why would you lie? You had to know it'd come back and bite you on the ass.
You've lost her trust now, and if you want to stand any kind of a chance, you'll have to try and re-gain it. Maybe explain exactly ... (read in full...)
Is it good for the relationship if they hang out every day?
Q. should a boyfriend and a girlfriend hang out everyday is it good for there replashionship????...
A. 4 September 2008: There are no hard and fast rules about how often you should hang out. It's different for every relationship.
If you guys are happy seeing each other every day, then go ahead. Or if it make you happy to have a few days break, then that is fine as ... (read in full...)
When did you first have a boyfriend/girlfriend - that actually lasted a few months?
Q. Poll: When was the first time you had a relationship, and what age did you have your first kiss? I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek or peck on the lips type of kiss, I mean a toungue kiss? And when did you first have a boyfrien...
A. 4 September 2008: I had my first real kiss and relationship at 16. Two years later, we're still going strong.
I wouldn't worry about kissing or dating. Patience is the key. =)... (read in full...)
How long does a girl have to be on the pill for it to be fully affective?
Q. I was just curious?? how long does a girl have to be on the pill for it to be fully affective?? ...
A. 3 September 2008: It usually depends on which brand she is using.
My friend had to wait a month, whereas mine only took two weeks. There will usually be a pamphlet in the box to tell you these things, otherwise, best to ask a doctor. =)... (read in full...)
How can I become a "bad boy"?
Q. theres this girl that ive known for only two months, and she's used to date guys who are the "bad boys" per-say, and i am a guy who likes death and black metal and is a musician, she knows that i like her but she told me that i'm not her type, her ...
A. 28 August 2008: It's quite likely that this girl was just trying to let you down gently. Even if you change your image, you will still be the same person, and if she's not interested, then there's nothing you can do about that.
Don't change who you are for this... (read in full...)
I forgot to take the pill today, would it affect me if I take it tomorrow?
Q. Hi I have been on the pill for a short time..but have recently been stressed out..and today I had forgot to take it..I was wondering can I take the one that I miss and the one for tommorow at the same time tomorrow..meaning that I will take two on ...
A. 28 August 2008: Taking two at once is usually fine to do, and should't have any effects. It's best to take the one that you missed as soon as you remember, then take tomorrow's pill at your usual time.
Because you missed one your protection will be reduced,... (read in full...)
My fiance was in bed with another woman... he says she was for me because I'm bi! I said no, he went to bed with her anyway. Do I forgive him?
Q. I want to know how to trust a man again after he has lied to me. I live with my fiance for months and I came home early to find out that he was in the bed with another woman telling me he was bringing her home to me ---because I am bisexual. After ...
A. 27 August 2008: Sounds to me like your bisexuality was just a handy excuse for him to sleep around, and that's not on. If he was bringing her home 'for you', then why the hell was he banging her?
He's a complete bastard. I agree with Gecko, you need to get away... (read in full...)
"It's not about the pleasure, it's about the concept..." What does this mean exactly?
Q. My girlfriend uses a wheelchair, but I've never cared cause she's awesome. Usually we just make out, but recently she told me she wants to have sex. Now here's the funny part: her disability leaves her vagina with no sensation. I asked her why she'd ...
A. 27 August 2008: I think what she means is that she likes the idea of being intimate with you. Sex is probably the most intimate act two people can engage in, so it's natural for her to want to do that with you.
Perhaps she's feeling insecure, and thinks she is not ... (read in full...)
Virginity Poll: How old were you when you lost the V-card?
Q. tell me...how old were you when you lost your virginity??...
A. 26 August 2008: I was 17 when I lost my virginity. Couldn't have asked for a better guy to do it with, I'm still with him now.... (read in full...)
Do I still need to take the morning after pill? I need an answer asap, please.
Q. I am 16 and i had unprotected sex last night, but i came on my period today. Do i still need to take the morning after pill? Please answer ASAP. Thanks a lot....
A. 26 August 2008: Looks like I'm out-voted, haha.
Oh well, we're all still learning. =)
Take the advice of the people who know, and get yourself a morning after pill.... (read in full...)
Do I still need to take the morning after pill? I need an answer asap, please.
Q. I am 16 and i had unprotected sex last night, but i came on my period today. Do i still need to take the morning after pill? Please answer ASAP. Thanks a lot....
A. 26 August 2008: Because you have your period, you are most likely not pregnant, so no, I don't think you'd need to take it.
If you're really concerned then taking it anyway probably won't to any harm. Try asking your pharmacist - they usually know these thin... (read in full...)
Warning! Alcohol and it's FX!!
Q. Sometimes, when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards, and all of their hopes and dreams. Now, if I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and thei...
A. 26 August 2008: Cheers to that! *clink*... (read in full...)
Is it difficult to shave or hair-remove down there? I've always thought it would be near impossible.
Q. Hi, I think most guys like girls to have no hair down there, is it difficult to shave or hair remove down there? I've always thought it would be near impossible. I am a guy btw, I'm not even sure if i like it, but I might....
A. 26 August 2008: It's not impossible or difficult - it's just annoying.
Shaving is something I tend to shy away from - I don't trust a razor that close to my nether regions.
Waxing is pretty easy, but it hurts - how much depends on the extent of the hair removal.... (read in full...)
Do men really like large breasts, I am endowed and I am embarrassed about my chest, do men like them better than small breasts??
Q. one more question... do guys like girls with big boobs? i mean honestly because i have a set and sometimes i get slmost self concious about them....
A. 25 August 2008: It really does depend on the guy. Some like them large, some like them small, some like them inbetween, and some don't care.
However, I'm pretty sure that any guy lucky enough to be seeing boobs is not going to complain about the size. Once clo... (read in full...)
Is shaving your pubic hair, an uncommon thing for a girl?
Q. ok, so...question. is shaving your pussy common? because i thought it was but when i got with this guy about two weeks ago he was shocked that i did and he said that i was the first girl he had been with that did and he has been with quite a few ...
A. 25 August 2008: Well it depends on what you mean by shaved. I mean, is it just the bikini line, or do you go the whole nine yards and do it ALL?
I'd say it's fairly common for women to do a little maintenance down there - a trim evey now and then, maybe a bikini... (read in full...)
I'm worried about having sex with my boyfriend!
Q. Hi im with a new boyfriend now im kinda worried. we might have sex soon but i havent had sex for a while. and it was with a boy 2 years younger he was 13 and i was 15. im just wondering will it really hurt seen as i havent done it for soo long . ...
A. 25 August 2008: Just because it's been awhile doesn't mean you're going to tighten on back up or anything. If you've already lost your virginity, are well lubricated and know what you are doing, then it shouldn't hurt.
I could lecture you about having sex at s... (read in full...)
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