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I've always found myself being the 'shoulder to cry on' in my little group of friends, and the role has grown on me. I like to help.
I like to think I have a healthy amount of common sense. I try to be practical when it comes to advice. I am currently in a long term, committed relationship, so I hope I know at least a little of what goes on when it comes to relationships - I seem to be doing alright so far. =)
I'm young - there are a lot of things I don't know, or have no experience with. But that is why I'm here - to learn, as well as to help. |
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| Latest articles: The language of fans - A solution to teenage drama?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2008: After reading an abnormal amount of questions along the lines of "He looked at me, does that mean he likes me?!", I got to thinking about how much easier life could be if there was some sort of way we could communicate emotions without confusion. ...
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My ex says he will marry me now but only if I let him have anal sex!
Q. my ex bf wants me back now that I have a new bf, he is a good guy and while we lived together I had everything, except marriage and kids, he wants to give that now, but wants me to have anal sex with him, he says if I do not do it he won`t be able ...
A. 10 June 2008: A condition like that doesn't bode well for a relationship. It seems like an indicator of a man who will want to control you.
Your ex should not be putting conditions on you if he wants to marry you - a man who truly loves you will marry you rega... (read in full...)
Why does she not like this as part of me giving her oral sex?
Q. What is the role of the vagina in cunnilingus? My wife has taught me the techniques that give her pleasure in oral sex. However I have always been puzzled by the fact that she seems to get no particular pleasure from me insertng my tongue in her ...
A. 10 June 2008: I've never found that to be particularly exciting either, and I've narrowed it down to a few reasons.
A man's tongue, while a wonderful thing, does not tend to be long enough to reach any of the real sweet spots in the vagina. It also doesn't put ... (read in full...)
One minute he's fine and the next its a whole different person,what am I doing wrong?
Q. Hi my boyfriend of one year and I recently split up for about a week then got back together.we live together so he disappeard for 5 days then came back. We were going fine for about a week then the fighting and him picking fights with me started ...
A. 10 June 2008: It's not you who has done anything wrong.
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is a control freak with double standards. Why is it ok for him to check up on you but not for you to call him? How is it fair when he picks the fights and then blames i... (read in full...)
Should I put the baby my last name or his?
Q. well im in love with this guy who lives in a different state and he loves me we started going back out yesterday and hes coming to see me in two weeks hes gonna get me pregnant so i can have his baby when he is in iraq but i dont know if i put his ...
A. 10 June 2008: It's your decision which last name you want to put. I personally would go with your own last name, since you're not married to this lad - that way if you get married later you can change it, and if things don't work out, your baby won't be stuck ... (read in full...)
How do I get back at him for using me?
Q. ok so there is this guy who i lost my virginity to. im 18 and hes 23 and it turns out that he only used me for sex. now i really want to end it completely with him. i know this sounds bad but i want to hurt him just as bad as he hurt me. so how ...
A. 9 June 2008: Ouch. What scumbag, I feel for you love. No-one likes to be used.
As far as revenge goes, do you really want to be as bad as him? The best thing you can do is let him know that you don't appreciate being used, and that it's over. Walk away and... (read in full...)
Embarrassing skin rash that won't stop itching! Help
Q. Can somebody help me? For the past two weeks or so now, I have felt this horrible itching downstairs. As a result, this has developed into some sort of skin rash. This isn't the sort of thing I want to seek help about from a doctor, so does ...
A. 9 June 2008: The only way you can know what this is or how to get rid of it is to visit a doctor. Suck it up and go see one, no matter how much you don't want to.... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my boyfriend about sex?
Q. Hi..am going to meet my boyfriend with a surprise visit in coming few days...and the guy i'll be dating is very busy these dayz...and don't even have time to sit and rest even...however..i know once i reach him....he won't deny for a date with ...
A. 6 June 2008: The best way to talk to your boyfriend about sex is to do it directly. Set aside a time, sit him down and just come out with it. It may be a little nerve-wracking but it's something all couples have to do sooner or later.
Simply ask him what his ... (read in full...)
Why does this happen to me?
Q. i am a man in his 20s and was wondering why whenever i feel the horniest before sex i perform the worst?...
A. 6 June 2008: Perhaps because you're so desperate for it, you forget about all the other parts and just go straight into penetration?
Or perhaps it's performance anxiety?
There could be a bunch of reasons - I'm not a bloke, so I can't really say. Just relax an... (read in full...)
Is this real oral sex (or just cheating)?
Q. hey If a girl give you oral sex in condom is that a real oral sex or not....
A. 6 June 2008: Yes, it's still real oral sex. The use of a condom doesn't make it any less 'real'.... (read in full...)
Will my second time hurt as much?
Q. i have lost my virginity recently, and i found it quite painful. Im going to have sex again soon, so i was wondering if my second time will hurt?...
A. 6 June 2008: It may still be a bit sore your first few times - I know it was for me. But it's not nearly as bad as the first time.
Just take your time, make sure he's considerate enough to get you nice and wet, and use a lot of lube. It stops being painful once... (read in full...)
I might be having a baby, but the "dad" is mean to me, should I tell the other guy who is nice to me that the baby is his?
Q. i had sex about 2 weeks ago and i think i missed my period... the dad treats me bad and only calls for sex. he knows i mite be having a baby but i know another guy who is better to me and i know he would make a good dad. should i just say its his ...
A. 6 June 2008: If he is such a nice guy, why would like lie to him and put that kind of pressure on him?
And of course, I'm assuming you've also had sex with Mister Nice Guy, else there's a MAJOR flaw in your plan to tell him he's got you knocked up.
It sounds... (read in full...)
I don't want to have to make the first move I'm scared of rejection!
Q. Ok, so I've got it bad. I've liked him since sept. '07, We're friends and go to church together. We usually hang out in groups after church and stuff and he's not really shy but when it comes to girls...He is! His sister told me he's never dated a ...
A. 6 June 2008: Everyone is scared of rejection - it's natural. If this guy is too shy to make a move on you, then you're going to have to suck it up and ask him.
Remind yourself that he likes you. He has told people that he likes you. He is probably thinking... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant?
Q. does anyone know about pregnancy? i been feeling light headed and nauseas, boobs are getting big and they hurt. and i been having cramps for a few days now like im going to get my period but i dont. by the way i dont get my period monthly so i dont ...
A. 6 June 2008: Seeing as it says you age is 10-12, I have to ask: Have you actually HAD sex? If not, the odds of you being pregnant are pretty much non-existent.
Assuming the age is wrong on this one, and you /have/ had unprotected sex - if you took a teast at... (read in full...)
Will I ever find that special girl, who's never had sex with anyone before me??
Q. Why does it seem like the whole world is having sex, when I've lived for 19 years and am still a virgin? My friends that I've known for many years are all in these serious relationships with girls that they liked for so long, and are now constantly ...
A. 6 June 2008: Well said, Collaroy. I was trying to figure out how to word it but you've said it better than I could.... (read in full...)
How do I ask if he is seeing other women?
Q. I am dating someone, the first guy I've been serious with since my ex. It is my experience now that a lot of people date a few people at the same time. Is it stupid to ask him if I'm the only one? He does not seem to be hiding anything, but I've...
A. 6 June 2008: It's not a stupid thing to wonder - a lot of people are non-exclusive when they are dating casually, and become monogamous when they begin to get more serious with one person.
I can see how it'd be an awkward thing to ask. You have to manouvre... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl to not like oral sex on her?
Q. My girlfriend doesn't like me giving her oral sex and is really squeamish about it. I feel as if its because she has a problem with me. I've only gone down town once and that was for about a minute. I've never heard of a girl who didn't like oral...
A. 6 June 2008: There's no real way to define 'normal', /especially/ when it comes to sex. Everyone has their preferences, and some people just don't like certain things, whether it be kissing, being touched in certain places, or oral sex.
I highly doubt it's bec... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to stay with me?
Q. Where I live circumcision is uncommon and most girls think it's disgusting. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months now and we had talked about having sex soon. I know that she will find my circumcision disgusting, and I'm worried ...
A. 6 June 2008: I personally have never seen the big deal in regards to circumcision - whether a lad is or isn't circumcised has never worried me.
She may not find it disgusting - it's not abnormal, it's just uncommon. If you are really that worried about it... (read in full...)
Does he truly want us to be friends or just seeking "benefits" again?
Q. there is this guy who i hooked up last year. i considered us to be friends although i had only known him for a week he was always really nice to me. i liked him but found out that he only wanted to have sex with me but i didnt let him. i guess he g...
A. 6 June 2008: Be nice to him by all means - be friendly to him, have a conversation. It pays to be friendly to all people, regardless of history. But be wary of this lad.
It may be that he wants to be friends again - but since this is all out of the blue, ther... (read in full...)
Can I date my parents doctor?
Q. Is it permissable to date my parents' doctor?...
A. 6 June 2008: So long as he isn't /your/ doctor, it should be alright.... (read in full...)
How can I get a boyfriend?
Q. How can I get a boyfriend? I flirt with guys who I like and they flirt back, I know that a lot of guys like me so how do I get one of them to be my boyfriend? I don't know why no guy has asked me out yet. I talk to lots of guys and I like 2 guys and...
A. 5 June 2008: It doesn't always have to be the guy who makes the first move - ask one of them out, go see a movie together, go get a coffee or something. It might be nerve-wracking, but keep in mind that it's just the same for them.
No ones likes to make them... (read in full...)
Is there a best way to break up?
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend but I'm not sure how to do it. can someone tell me the best way?...
A. 5 June 2008: Breaking up is always tough to do. You don't want to hurt the other person, and they feel rubbish becase they got dumped... all in all, an unpleasant activity, so I feel for you.
The least painful way do it would be to get your boyfriend alone, s... (read in full...)
How do I get us started?
Q. ok so me and my bf have been together for a year now and when were alone were very intamate(culding,kissing,making out)he has fingered me we have talked about having sex and both of us want to how do i get us started?...
A. 5 June 2008: First up (and I'm going to sound like a nag here, but so be it), BE PREPARED. Go and get some condoms and a quality lubricant, so you'll be ready when the time comes.
As for 'getting started', I've always found it's something that takes care of ... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin, my new boyfriend wants to have sex, I don't know what to do , any advice?
Q. Hi, I'm Amber. I'm twenty-six years old and I have a question about something in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and he's a really great guy. I think I'm in love with him and he's always telling me how he cares ...
A. 5 June 2008: Whether you want to have sex or not is entirely your decision. If you aren't comfortable with it, or can't come up with an answer, then wait a while.
Just tell your boyfriend pretty much what you've said here - you've never really thought about it... (read in full...)
Why am I always horny? Any advice?
Q. Why do I get horny a lot I always feel horny and always wanting to send pictures of my private to girls Any advice for me?...
A. 5 June 2008: Why?
Because you're a teenage boy. It's pretty normal.
However, I'd advise against sending pictures of your bits to people - you never know /where/ those pictures will end up.... (read in full...)
Teenage years...am I progressing fine?
Q. Hi my name is Danny :) and i am straight:) I am just looking for some advice on sexual activites/things, ok heres the stroy; 1) Me and one of my freinds (a boy) talk alot about girls cause we are both 14 and it come naturally i think to all boy...
A. 5 June 2008: You are doing just fine. =)
Insofar as the kissing thing goes, don't fret. We all screw up in the beginning (Biting is nothing, I once sneezed on my boyfriend during a kiss). Put it down to a learning experience, and laugh about it - don't le... (read in full...)
I hurt him when I gave him a blowjob!
Q. Dear all, yesterday I tried giving a blow job to my boyfriend, but he kept complaining that i hurt him with my teeth,it has never happened before and its not the first time it happened with him, now im so scared to give him one. yest we ended up...
A. 4 June 2008: It's embarassing to find out that you're not pleasing your partner as much as you like to, but put it down to learning experience, and don't let it put you off!
You may find this helpful:
http://th... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and a virgin my boyfriend want's sex!
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend. He always asks me to have sex with him. but i really don't want to. I'm only 13 and I want to keep my virginity for a while. I've told him no so many times and I keep telling him no. It's so annoying. What sho...
A. 4 June 2008: Good on you for sticking to your guns! Nice to see there's still some young girls out there who are sensible. =)
If you have constantly told him no and he keeps pushing, then perhaps he is not the lad for you.
Have a talk to him about why he... (read in full...)
Should I just walk out on two years of my life?
Q. I'm so tired of my relationship. My fiancee and I fight all the time. Nothing I do ever seems good enough to him. When we argue he gets verbally abusive and the last time he punched me in the leg after i threw something at him. I understand i probab...
A. 4 June 2008: Do not ever think that you deserve to be hit - what your finacee did was unacceptable. Violence is NEVER an option in a relationship, and you should NEVER tell yourself that you deserved it.
From what you describe, I'd advise you to leave. F... (read in full...)
Will I pee if I have an orgasm?
Q. I have never had an orgasm before. When I think I am going to get one I have to go to the bathroom. They say that is what it feels like, but I really have to pee. Is their something wrong with me? Is their something that I can do in order to exper...
A. 4 June 2008: Don't fret about the 'needing to pee' feeling - that is normal.
When a woman experiences orgasm, she emits a clear fluid (not urine) from the urethra (The bit you pee from). This is why you feel like you need to go.
The best way is just to rela... (read in full...)
I feel weird that my boyfriend wants a threesome!
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years really, and I mean really wants to have a threesome with me and another female. He swears that he doesn't have anyone particular in mind but wants us to find a girl willing to do this. I have never done this bef...
A. 4 June 2008: No-one can tell you show you 'should' feel about it - that's up to you.
I personally would be very uncomfortable about letting another girl at my lad - but again, that's just me.
If you feel weird about it or are uncomfortable about it in /any w... (read in full...)
We haven't been using protection, so why haven't I fallen pregnant?
Q. hello im a 14 year old girl and need help. ive been having sex with a boy whos two years old than me and a few times we havent used protection but the thing is i never even got the 72 hours morning after pill an the other thing is how come i never ...
A. 4 June 2008: Deary me lass! Unprotected sex at your age? I thought kids these days knew better!
With unprotected sex, there is, if I recall correctly, about an 8/100 chance of you getting pregnant. This means that, if you have sex without conracep... (read in full...)
How often do people see or contact their boyfriends and girlfriends each week on average?
Q. I'm just curious as to how often people see their bfs/gfs each week on average? And on the days that you do not see your bf/gf do you always contact them by phone/email/text message to see how they are going? Thanks for the replies in advance :...
A. 3 June 2008: We text each other pretty much every day, and I see him about four days out of every week. We're quite attached to one another. =)
But of course, it varies, and I'd assume it'd be different for every couple.... (read in full...)
I would just like to know why no guys have asked me out?
Q. I don't get it alot of guys like me and i mean ALOT but yet no guy has asked me out and I'm thinking that it is me. My mom says that guys are affraid of me saying no if they ask me out. I feel really down about that. I don't know ehat to do about ...
A. 3 June 2008: Your mother is probably right - teenage boys are wimps when it comes to asking a lass out. Which is perfectly normal really - no-one wants to feel rejected or make themselves vulnerable.
Have you considered taking matters into your own hands? I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is understanding, but my friends seem to keep pushing me to have sex with him. I'm not ready!
Q. I've never really wanted to have a sexual relationship in any way - even kissing for long periods of time either seems boring or just plain gross. I much prefer to have an emotional relationship. However, I am very aware that this is practically ...
A. 3 June 2008: I've been in a similar situation. After I'd been with my current boy about six months I started to get the old 'Sooo... are you guys, y'know...'
And people either didn't believe me when I said we weren't, or looked at me like I was some kind of prud... (read in full...)
This will be my first time, and I don't know where to start!
Q. i dont know wat to do this will be my first time and i dont know where to start. please please help....
A. 3 June 2008: I'm assuming that when you say 'my first time', you mean sex.
When you are ready to have sex 'where to start' should not be a problem - it tends to come naturally, if a little awkwardly.
The fact that you even have to ask this should be an ind... (read in full...)
What should I do? He's pushing me to do unpleasant things!
Q. I am 13 years old and I'm dating a 17 year old,but he keeps pushing me to do unpleasant things,what should I do?...
A. 3 June 2008: You don't /ever/ have to do /anything/ you don't want to, and no-one should try and make you.
Tell him you aren't comfortable with the things he wants you to do. He is several years older than you and may be expecting different things from the... (read in full...)
Is getting really wet bad/nasty?
Q. i am wondering.. is getting really wet bad/nasty?? like i mean really. i haven't been horny lately but i guess i was and this boy fingered me and he was like my fingers are so wet while he was doing it.. so is that a bad thing?? im really ...
A. 30 May 2008: Getting wet when you are turned on is perfectly normal - your body provides a natural lubricant to get itself ready for sex.
This is fairly basic stuff to know - if you don't know these things, then perhaps you aren't old enough to be engaging... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to date my friends' brother even if she said it was ok?
Q. Hey everyone, Here is what is going on. I am really good friends with this girl, we will call her Erin. We have so much fun together and always love being in each other's company and everything. However, she has a 19 year old brother. I am a...
A. 30 May 2008: If Erin said it was OK, then I don't see a problem. Just so long as she's not one of these girls who says one thing and means another, then expects you to know why she's upset.
If you like him and she is fine with it, then who gives a toss abo... (read in full...)
Should I call or just wait? Help!!
Q. I haven't talked to my bf for about 3 days. We didn't get I a fight but I was kinda mad cuz when I called him he said he'd call back but never did. Then we text that same day for a little bit but havnt spoken or texted since. Well its been three ...
A. 30 May 2008: Don't go expecting him to make all the effort. Take the initiative - you call him. Just because he always calls you doesn't mean it /always/ has to be that way.
If he doesn't answer the phone, leave a message and try a bit later, or text him. It'... (read in full...)
How do I get more confidence about sex? My boyfriend is getting bored!!
Q. My boyfriend wants to do more in bed, But I usually try new positions with him every time but he still says it's the same old thing and it's getting boring. I say no to certain positions because im nervous after maybe the second or third time he ...
A. 30 May 2008: I'll say it for everyone - you are very young to be having sex.
Disregarding the age issue for the moment, though.
In sex, as in anything else, you should never have to do anything you don't want to. If you aren't comfortable with something, l... (read in full...)
I love her but my friends think she is ugly, shall I go out with her or leave it?
Q. I love a girl and im 90% sure she fancies me. All my friends are friends with her but they think she is ugly. If i go out with her they will probably take the piss. Shall I go out with her or leave it?...
A. 30 May 2008: If you like her, then who gives a toss what your friends think?
If you'd reject a girl on the basis that you mates will 'take the piss', then you aren't mature enough to be dating anyway.
Realize that when you date someone, you do it becaus... (read in full...)
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