A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf cheated on me a year and a half ago. I can't seem to get past it. I do not trust him at all any more. And he's not doing anything to help me trust him. He gets pissed every time I get mad because of his 205 contacts which three fourths r women. I'm not sure what to do.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 February 2013):
 it's been 18 months
he's not trying to fix it
you don't trust him
what you should do is end the relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): If someone cheats, and they are truly sorry, they have to prove it over and over again. And it's not about getting over it... you never get over it. It is a 'thing' forever in your relationship, and he has to deal with it with you....for as long as you need him to. If he isn't prepared to do that, then he isn't as sorry as he needs to be, or he has no idea what a terrible thing he has done. There is next to no chance I would forgive my partner for being unfaithful (having experienced it a couple of times in my life) and for me to even consider it, he would have to jump through hoops to restore my trust, no matter how long it would take.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (14 February 2013):
 Hi, you have no one to blame but yourself, you took him back without setting ground rules, so he thinks its okay to treat you like yesterdays garbage.
Harsh yes but its a reality. Dump him or go through life feeling this way.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (14 February 2013):
 This is over. If you can't trust him then there is no relationship. A relationship cannot exist without trust. I trust my friends. If I didn't they wouldn't be my friends. I trust my family. Otherwise I wouldn't have anything to do with them. If I had a girlfriend and couldn't trust her I couldn't be with her and wouldn't want to.
The question is why do you want to be with a guy you can't trust?
Surely, you'd rather be with an attractive, confident, fun, trustworthy guy who treats you right?
Those are the criteria most girls look for in their men. Those are the men that are in demand and good boyfriend/husband material.
Why don't you go find yourself one of those?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 February 2013):
He may be annoyed with your insecurities. If he's being honest with you and not cheating, he probably feels like you need to just get over it. After all its been a year and a half!
If, at this point you're not over it then you won't be able to get over it anytime soon, and him erasing all his female contacts won't change that. You'll just find something else to be insecure about.
I'm not trying to blame you, but unless you have a reason to think he's cheating you need to stop treating him like he is. I've seen this kind of thing ruin relationships.
If you just can't get over him cheating you should just leave. Start over with someone else.
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A
female
reader, LovieYourMine +, writes (14 February 2013):
 Well if he cheated on you before and you cant get over then you should be trusting your gut. Im not sayin that he could be cheating again but that if he cheated once he is most likely going to do it again. If you're not happy in your relationship, remove yourself. If you feel like he isnt doing anything to gain your trust back then you should waste your time on him, it isnt fair to you when you COULD be an amazing relationship who devotes his attention you and you COULD have nothing to worry about except that you are just trying so hard to keep this one guy seem like he doesnt care very much at all. Obviously he has other interests if he doesnt stop and take time to address you.
Sorry to sound like B word but it is your decision and im just stating my opinion.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (14 February 2013):
 If after 18 months you still don't trust him, I don't see you or him changing any time soon. How much longer do expect to wait on him to finally "prove" himself.
I think you need to ask yourself: What would it take for you to finally say "I trust you implicitly".
I would then write down these things -- I am sure there are some ideas already floating in your head. However, seeing them on paper, you might just realize that what you are looking for is an improbability and impossibility.
From the sounds of it, he hasn't earned your trust, nor your forgiveness. You'll have to decide for yourself just how much more of your valuable time (you are only young once) you want to invest in a man who puts you on edge and makes you constantly on guard.
Eddie
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