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| | *incerely Yours's profile:I deleted my account once before. This is my second account. I regret deleting it, because I would like to see the things I wrote 6 years ago. I would like to see my progression or regression of wisdom. I've gone through phases of cynicism and optimism. Despite the enormity of my traumatic experiences, I almost think I'm too optimistic to give advice. I guess I have, if nothing else, a varied perspective to add to situations. Take it or leave it I guess.
Please feel free to PM for an elaboration of something I've written. However I am not comfortable being contacted for my sole advice. I am not all-knowing, nor an MD or psychologist and part of this site is getting different opinions. So please, for your own sake, if you have a question, post it publicly to get a better response.
Thanks :] ~Sy |
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First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: I did not get that he hung up the second time, but again... all that means is that he was out with you , focused on you, and couldn't take/finish the call. I really think you're making someone seem guilty before you have adequate back up.... (read in full...)
My wife speaks very nasty to me when upset over minor things, and expects me to forget what is said
Q. My wife and I have had a wonderful relationship for 15 years...(3 arguments if you can believe it). Lately, she has been getting very nasty, over minor disagreements. While upset, she has said things such as she doesn't care what i think, she ...
A. 31 March 2011: Often times, when people are ashamed to a certain degree, they are unwilling to discuss the subject of their shame, and push it off. Sometimes, they make a quick and obviously inadequate justification before blowing it off. ... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: I thought that the one at 1AM was self explanatory, if someone needed him and he didn't want to ignore their call.. then of course he will call them back asap. If both of you are up at 1AM, then i'm sure he knows many other people who are as well. ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated on me several times,the girls confirm it,but I need to know how to take it from there..
Q. My husband and have been together 6 years, married for 5.We have 3 children. About 2 months ago I call him while he was out with his friends and instead of pushing end on the cell he push talk. I heard him getting it on with a girl while his 1 month ...
A. 31 March 2011: Girl, you are already hurt, and you should be.
You're wounded so why do you want to kill yourself with every detail of how he's hurt you. Sometimes, ignorance is just a little blissful. You know he's doing wrong, you know he's acting up and not ... (read in full...)
First Date & A mysterious Call
Q. So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he ...
A. 31 March 2011: His girl friend would not accept the answer "I can't talk right now." He would have gotten several more calls to his phone through out your date if that were the case.
It's way too early for to be assuming he's with someone else. It could ve... (read in full...)
My friend hugs me and tells me not to get with other girls, and even lets me see her naked.. but says we're just friends...
Q. Ok so I have this coworker. I've been attracted to her from the first time I saw her. The second day I started working their I got her number but we never got to anything serious becuz she switched to nite shift. Then she called me the other day for ...
A. 30 March 2011: As far as the kid goes...
It is possible for you to be with her without having the responsibility of her kid. I think soemthing that's so sad about single moms is they are sometimes treated like a plague.. something to avoid because they have a ch... (read in full...)
She cheated once. Will she do it again if I forgive her?
Q. If your wife of 5years cheats on you w/her baby daddy. Would she do it again if I forgive her? She confess to me because she felt unhappy with her self. She said it only happend once and that she is sorry? Should I forgive her?...
A. 30 March 2011: I know this is very painful and I am so very sorry, but the way she acted is an improvement over many other options.
Many people will not confess and if they are found out, will try to justify it.
Also, many who cheat, cheat with strangers. ... (read in full...)
His photography is creeping me out
Q. My boyfriend recently took some pictures of my teenage daughter and her friends in a running race. However for the last couple of weeks I have noticed that most evenings he continually goes back to these pictures for hours retouching them in photo...
A. 30 March 2011: I have to say that this weirds me out because I have a daughter, but objectively i also have to say that he may be just so proud of that picture because of the love he feels for you and vicariously your daughter, and like he wants the pictures of ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend was so large I'm afraid its ruined me for anyone else!
Q. Hello, agony aunts. Thanks in advance for reading my question, and for any thoughtful advice or answers. I have recently come out of a two year long relationship and I am now fresh on the single scene. My ex and I got together when we were bot...
A. 28 March 2011: Well I've had a child and after the six weeks of not having sex, like I was told to do, I was tight as I ever was. And I still can use those muscles that were mentioned in the previous posts. You can probably clench them tight enough to grab a ... (read in full...)
Maybe you are the right one and his wife is the wrong one?
Q. Hi everyone. This is my question. Is it possible a married man could be falling for you instead of wanting an affair? Or are all these guys the same, wanting their cake and eating it, too? How do you know he is not truly happy in his marriage ...
A. 24 March 2011: If he really is unhappy with his wife, then he will divorce her regardless of who else enters his life. If the real problem is between him and her, then he will solve that before he will move on to anyone else. Even if you did talk to him and get ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I kissed another guy? I tried to tell him but he cried
Q. my boyfriend of 6 years off and on has hurt me sooo much over the years. and i've broken up with him numerous times for that reason. but we are together now and i do love him and i think we are pretty strong and can get through anything. but one of ...
A. 24 March 2011: My initial thought was to tell him so that he understands how it feels.
But as for the rest of it, if yo udon't think he will ever get over it and it'll ruin your relationship forever, I don't think two kisses is worth the honestly. If you thin... (read in full...)
If he's married how do I let him go?
Q. Need help. I have dated a guy for two years. Since i was 16 and he was 19. He always told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me and he treated me well. We have been through a lot but i can honestly say i love him. A few months ago he went ...
A. 24 March 2011: Getting over someone is really just a one-day-at-a-time kind of thing. Everyday, you have to occupy yourself and keep yourself busy enough that you're not thinking about him all the time. After trying to keep your mind off of him for a few weeks, ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend for a mutual friend of ours, but I still feel guilty!
Q. I have been in a relationship which has not been working for a while and I longed to break away although I was emotionally very close to my partner. A few months ago I started having really strong feelings for one of his best friends who is also ...
A. 23 March 2011: I still see your justifying the wrong you've done. Just as your ex-bf will never be able to justify making you feel worthless, you will never be able to justify cheating on him. Him cheating you like crap, your dad cheating on your mom, seduction, ... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin at 20!
Q. im going to be twenty in 2 days and im still a virgin. is this normal? at times i lie awake at night and despise myself for it. other times i think its fine and i shouldnt worry. ive considered losing it to an escort-going so far as to make the ...
A. 21 March 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-20-and-still-a-virgin-im-struggling.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-24-hot-and-still-a-virgin.html http://www.dearcupid.org/quest... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin at 20!
Q. im going to be twenty in 2 days and im still a virgin. is this normal? at times i lie awake at night and despise myself for it. other times i think its fine and i shouldnt worry. ive considered losing it to an escort-going so far as to make the ...
A. 21 March 2011: At your age, there should be a million things more important on your mind, then sticking your penis in a girl's southern Orpheus.... Considering you have -/+ 60 years to do so... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend for a mutual friend of ours, but I still feel guilty!
Q. I have been in a relationship which has not been working for a while and I longed to break away although I was emotionally very close to my partner. A few months ago I started having really strong feelings for one of his best friends who is also ...
A. 21 March 2011: Yes, you should feel terrible because you had an affair with your bf's best friend.... All these things that you and him are afraid of happening now, are very likely, but those are the consequences of betrayal. I understand you think that wh... (read in full...)
I can't understand why she is happy to give handjobs and blowjobs to me all the time but is reluctant to have sex.
Q. I have just come out of a rough relationship and an even rougher breakup. Recently, at a party, I hooked up with a girl who I have been close friends with since childhood. We didn't have sex but we did embark in other sexual acts on each other. ...
A. 21 March 2011: I would say because sex can start to bring on much deeper feelings and emotions in people. Maybe that's how she is and she sees that it would not do the same for you, so she is not willing to compromise her own sensitivity. It could also be so... (read in full...)
Why does my mum want to meet my BF?
Q. I have 4 months with my b.f and I just turn 18 and his my sister cousin male they all know him but not so well my mum says if I want to go out with my b.f I have to bring him for my mum to meet him but she talks with my b.f mother but still she ...
A. 17 March 2011: Why would she NOT want to meet your boyfriend???
How can she let her daughter be out with a guy she's never even met? She's responsible for your life and your happiness and letting him come over one night to meet her won't do you any harm. Yo... (read in full...)
Body isn't quite perfect after childbirth
Q. I am a 27yo F. I have a 6yo daughter. I use to have a flawless body pre-baby. Post-baby, is.... jus.... terrible. My skin on my stomach is saggy... no matter how much I work out it is here to stay. I look and see other women complain and all the ...
A. 17 March 2011: Aw, i'm sorry sweety.
There should be so much more to your relationship with him than your stomach. There are more important things, and even though there are always going to be unfortunate things like this, bad arguments, and hurt feelings, we h... (read in full...)
Is it strange to not like pornography?
Q. I know this may seem odd for a lot of people to hear, but I'm a 16yo guy who is not at all into pornography. What I wanna know is, am I the only one? All my friends say I'm weird because I don't like it, but I personally don't understand why they do ...
A. 13 March 2011: If only you were five years older, because I have been wondering if there was a guy like you out there.... I don't know why guys like it but you just keep on bein yourself. :)... (read in full...)
Would it be nasty if I receive oral sex from his close friend?
Q. Hello!!! In Just going to get straight to it, would I be nasty if I received oral sex from this Guy if I use to have sex with his friend? OK me and the Guy who I use to Have sex with we don't talk, haven't talked in Like 7 months. They both liked Me...
A. 11 March 2011: Lol.
You said nothing about any of the advice that was given to you which related to your question. I still stick to the advice that I gave you and the other two people gave you. It all basically says the same thing. ... (read in full...)
What do her questions mean?
Q. dear qupid i like this girl, she's about one year younger than me, and we're close friends (we always come to eachother for advice, and we always hang out). not too long ago, i told her how i felt, and i got a really long responce about how she do...
A. 11 March 2011: I would say because she wants to hear good things about her. It's ok. It's normal for girls and guys too I'm sure (although they hide it better). She is just flattered and digging for more. I think she should stop though, because every time she asks ... (read in full...)
How can I help destiny?
Q. My mum is single and she thinks my teacher is cute, I love my teacher like a dad already and I really want them to get together!! How can I get them to casually meet etc.. I'm an only child by the way. They are made for each other but how can I help ...
A. 11 March 2011: If your mother knows that you approve of the potential relationship, that may be a big key. Either one of them could be holding back because they're afraid of the affect it will have on you. It could also be that they are afraid of him losing your ... (read in full...)
What did he mean by his comment?
Q. ok, maybe some of you can decipher this. what does it mean while having sex, your boyfriend grabs your thigh, squeezes it and says, this is what I want not some stick. I'm not fat, but I'm not a stick either. it totally took me out of the mood and i ...
A. 11 March 2011: Is your age accurate? 30-35? If he is similar age, then it's normal for him to have been with someone else before so the fact that you are worrying about that is concerning to me.
All he was doing was being happy with your body, and if you over... (read in full...)
Does my age have anything to do with why he doesn't want me to meet his parents?
Q. Iam 26 my boyfriend is 38 he is going through his second divorce. I have not meet his parients yet. Does my age have anything to do with me not meeting his parients?...
A. 11 March 2011: I am positive that his reluctance is far more due to his situation than to your age. ... (read in full...)
I was in love with my ex and I don't want to use her as a rebound...Advice?
Q. I broke up with my ex close to a half a year ago, but because we were talking as friends I never really dealt with it. So it has been about 2 months since I have been dealing with it and I have gone through everything from being sad, to angry at ...
A. 11 March 2011: Hey. I am sorry that you're going though this. You seem so sweet.
As far as your fear of never feeling the same love again, I'm gonna use a simile. Just work with me, because this would work better on a girl.
Imagine that one day.. your hair is... (read in full...)
How do I acheive a flat stomach?
Q. Dear Cupid...if a person wants to have a flat stomach, how many situps would you advice them to do a day? Thank you...
A. 11 March 2011: If you haven't done situps before, then I would advice starting off with 20 every morning when you wake up. As you're going about your day, you may find time to do another 20 or so. Try to keep it consistent. If you have times every day for three ... (read in full...)
Would it be nasty if I receive oral sex from his close friend?
Q. Hello!!! In Just going to get straight to it, would I be nasty if I received oral sex from this Guy if I use to have sex with his friend? OK me and the Guy who I use to Have sex with we don't talk, haven't talked in Like 7 months. They both liked Me...
A. 11 March 2011: I would firstly just like to calmly point out that saying " i hate guys with kids" is somewhat ignorant and a rude generalization. "hate" is a nasty work and a guy having a kid doesn't make him someone worth hating.
And in regards to your sit... (read in full...)
He makes crass sexual jokes. I don't really mind, but does it mean anything?
Q. does this guy like me or do you think he's just joking around ?. i've seen him in a bar in my home town three tiems now. the first time i saw him, i started dancing with him, which he didn't mind lol. the next time i saw him, i walked past him to ...
A. 11 March 2011: He probably thinks your hot and he's flirting with you in his own odd way and that's really all there is to it. I don't think you should be spending any time out of your life worrying about this situation.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a checkered past, should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend has had a checkered past with other women. He went through a phase of lots and lots of flings. Had several going at once. One of them was a married woman who stays in contact with him. Should I be worried? Thanks!!...
A. 11 March 2011: Yes, you could be worried because he is obviously not morally cautious. You don't need to be viewing his past as what it means to your relationship, as much as what it means about him- and then what what a relationship with him means for you. ... (read in full...)
Is he controlling or abusive?
Q. So I have been seeing, not dating with this guy for a couple months now, we have had a couple fights, every time his fault, and he comes running back to me, one incident I tried to ignore him and he kept contacting me once to my phone twice to my ...
A. 11 March 2011: Lol what a weirdo. Just right him off as "nutty" and find someone else. ... (read in full...)
Do you think it can work out between a 17 yr old boy and a 20 yr old girl?
Q. Do you think it can work out between a 17 year old boy and a 20 year old girl?...
A. 11 March 2011: Both parties have a lot lot lot of growing up to do (I don't mean physically). People go through changes constantly in life... their personalities, emotions, traits, outlooks, and behaviors, etc., all alternate as they live on. These changes re ... (read in full...)
Do you think doggy style is romantic?
Q. honestly ,do you think doggy style is romantic or it`s just for fun ,animalistic passion . would you have doggy style with a woman that you`re in deep love with ,if she `s the sweet n nice type ,if not which position would u choose ? think u g...
A. 11 March 2011: Sex does not always need to be sweet and gentle. And as long as you're still treating your woman right, then there is no reason you can't be loving during doggie style. You can do any position with the woman you love and I think that's part of ... (read in full...)
I cant sleep with my boyfriend's snoring!
Q. Hey readers, I don't know what to do - whenever I spend the night with my bf, his snoring and loud breathing keeps me awake so I can't get to sleep til, like, 5am! I don't know what to do about it. We've been together 6 months, and he knows he ...
A. 10 March 2011: "If you suspect sleep apnea - that's the noise when they STOP ALL THE NOISE and you are lying their waiting for them to BREATHE again - then get some medical advice."
Sorry I just want to clarify that. It was a brilliant point and never would ha... (read in full...)
I found an email that proved my husband lied. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi, I had a situation with my husband a while back about a women and some lies that he had told me. We tried to fix the situation as best as we could and moved on with our lives. It still hurts once in a while but I try to not let it bother me...
A. 9 March 2011: You should not be telling him that the wrong things he does upset you, but in time, they will not bug you any more. He will not learn anything from that except, he can do what he wants, because you will always take him back and make it work with ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend, but I'm crushing on a guy at my new job! Is this normal? What should I do?
Q. Hey everybody.. I need advice badly! So I have been with my boyfriend for one year and I'm madly in love with him. I mean he's like my best friend and were so happy together. I just got a new job and there's a guy there that's super cute and very ...
A. 9 March 2011: It's normal to find other guys attractive, and to think they're nice, and to flirt innocently, and all that would lead up to a feeling of "crush," but I think that in most circumstances, it's just a falsified feelings, given by some temporary ... (read in full...)
A friend kissed me, I told my girlfriend about it, but I'm still anxious!
Q. I am currently in a long distance relationship and last weekend went out with some friends. I was quite drunk and so was one of my friends and she kissed me. It took me a couple of seconds to react mainly due to my drunkeness but I pushed her away. ...
A. 9 March 2011: Was it a few seconds of you sitting there, blank stare, gettng kissed, or a few seconds of you kissing back?
If the first, then don't worry about it, because the point is, as soon as you realised what was happening, you pushed her away.
If i... (read in full...)
When would you consider a girl "clingy"? And how often is "too often" to contact your boyfriend?
Q. In a relationship, when would you consider a girl "clingy"? And how often is "too often" to contact your boyfriend? I'm not looking for extreme examples, but how much space do guys usually need? I really don't want to be considered the clingy ...
A. 9 March 2011: I would day contact him about half the time, and wait for him to contact you the other half. ... (read in full...)
He wants to take pictures
Q. Every time we go for a real hot time, he always wanted to take pictures of me playing with him. He said he is having more pleasures on that. Just like a porn picture. Is this normal? Is he a perv?...
A. 9 March 2011: It's more exciting to look from a distance at you and him together. That's one reason people puts big mirrors in ther bed rooms.... (read in full...)
Why on earth did my boyfriend want to inspect my hand?? It was so weird!!
Q. I just have a quick little story and would like some opinions! I was with my boyfriend today and he asked to see my hand, I put my hand out and he said to put it up to his. So I did and watched him almost like inspect my hand. He especial...
A. 8 March 2011: Ring size.... (read in full...)
He wants to take pictures
Q. Every time we go for a real hot time, he always wanted to take pictures of me playing with him. He said he is having more pleasures on that. Just like a porn picture. Is this normal? Is he a perv?...
A. 8 March 2011: Sounds normal.... (read in full...)
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