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*incerely Yours agony aunt

*incerely Yours

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I deleted my account once before. This is my second account. I regret deleting it, because I would like to see the things I wrote 6 years ago. I would like to see my progression or regression of wisdom. I've gone through phases of cynicism and optimism. Despite the enormity of my traumatic experiences, I almost think I'm too optimistic to give advice. I guess I have, if nothing else, a varied perspective to add to situations. Take it or leave it I guess.

Please feel free to PM for an elaboration of something I've written. However I am not comfortable being contacted for my sole advice. I am not all-knowing, nor an MD or psychologist and part of this site is getting different opinions. So please, for your own sake, if you have a question, post it publicly to get a better response.

Thanks :] ~Sy

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He wants to take pictures

Q.   Every time we go for a real hot time, he always wanted to take pictures of me playing with him. He said he is having more pleasures on that. Just like a porn picture. Is this normal? Is he a perv?...

A.   9 March 2011: It's more exciting to look from a distance at you and him together. That's one reason people puts big mirrors in ther bed rooms.... (read in full...)

He wants to take pictures

Q.   Every time we go for a real hot time, he always wanted to take pictures of me playing with him. He said he is having more pleasures on that. Just like a porn picture. Is this normal? Is he a perv?...

A.   8 March 2011: Sounds normal.... (read in full...)

I am 37 weeks pregnant and boyfriend is totally ignoring me

Q.   The guy that I am pregnant by we were dateing for 3years,he broke up with me for almost a whole year I was deeply in love with him so the brake up was very hard for me, we kind of kepd in contact an what I mean by that he will only call me for ...

A.   7 March 2011: i am sure there are many different answers that could arise so I will give you just one possible answer. The man is about to have a baby.. a life long commitment. With the baby, comes a life long relation to its mother (not necessarily meaning ... (read in full...)

Could our behavior affect the baby?

Q.   Hi there, and thank you so much for taking your time to answer my questions. My wife is pregnant in her 9th week or so. It is an unplanned pregnancy, and she seems to have concieved after our condom had slipped off. My wife behaviours got v...

A.   7 March 2011: Stop. Relax. Do not think about what has already happened. Your decision is to keep the baby and therefore, what you do NOW and in the future is what you should worry about. Think about her diet, ways she can help the baby, getting ready for it e... (read in full...)

New relationship insecurities or valid concern?

Q.   I really, really like this guy that I work with and he seems to like me. We've been on a date to the movies and he's come over to my place twice we made out and talked for hours... so much fun. He's very affectionate and we're having fun getting ...

A.   4 March 2011: Well I'm not one to tell you not to be very careful, but on the other hand: it's not ok to ruin something that could be great, just because you were unsure. There are many, many, many possible outcomes to being in a relationship with him, but you ... (read in full...)

My facebook pictures make me look amazingly perfect and a lot of guys have been asking me out based on them...but thats not how I really am! What do I do now?

Q.   Hi! I would really appreciate it if you could help me! Ever since I made a Facebook account, I found that I looked so much prettier in my photos, whether they were mobile uploads, photoshopped, or profile pictures. Somehow my itouch was able to ...

A.   4 March 2011: My first response will be to let you know.. that while my digital camera can turn a whole room and all it's people orange, my phone shows me what it really is. Secondly, NO. YOU DO NOT WANT GUYS WHO WANT YOU FOR HOW YOU LOOK. I know that my s... (read in full...)

Do these signs point to an orgasm or is she faking it?

Q.   I had this fear until last week that my girlfriend was faking orgasms. We are each other's first sexual partners, and I relied on my fingers/tongue, rather than my woefully average 5 inches in girth to get the job done. I don't see a reason why she ...

A.   4 March 2011: It does not make sense to fake one during foreplay. In my opinion. I have faked them before, and I usually do it once I'm through foreplay and well into the main activity. I do it once I start feeling bad at either 1. how long i'm taking or 2. the ... (read in full...)

The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!

Q.   Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...

A.   4 March 2011: "He knows good and well that once I know her answer (and he will tell me), everything between us is cut. Friendship is all that is going to be there." So if not friendship, what is there now? In your previous posts, you made it sound as if y... (read in full...)

Could I get pregnant doing this?

Q.   okay so i want to remain a vargin until marrige but my boyfriend doesnt so we do mess around. He has rubbed his penis around my anus area and almost by my vaginal area i just want to make sure that there is no way i can get pregnant unless the penus ...

A.   28 February 2011: You can get pregnant from looking at his penis too hard. ... (read in full...)

I googled my girlfriend's name and found a homemade sex video that may be of her. Should I ask her about it, or just drop it?

Q.   So, I regularly play on Google just randomly googling up stuff and I tried googling my girlfriend just to see what came up, all ordinary, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Then I took off the filter and after going through many of the main pages, I found ...

A.   28 February 2011: Why did you take the filter off? I think you were looking for something. ... (read in full...)

What do married men think of women who are friends with his wife, but flirts with him?

Q.   What does a married man really think of a woman that flirts with him? What does he think of her character as a person? Does he really think he can trust someone like that? Especially if he sees that she is friendly with his wife? ...

A.   28 February 2011: I would assume, that if a woman is flirting with him, and she knows he's married, AND IS FRIENDLY WITH HIS WIFE..... that he would have about 0 respect for that woman. He may let her flirt and have fun with it, but I can't imagine he would trust her ... (read in full...)

The man I love proposed to a woman back home. He is giving me mixed signals. Help!

Q.   Hi everyone, I have posted similar questions to this issue, and this is somewhat of a followup question. I have fallen for a foreign-exchange student who loves another that may or may not return the feelings. It is a relationship from his past tha...

A.   28 February 2011: I think the "signals" are pretty strong. He's a cheater and a liar, and is being rewarded by having two women. One at each home. That way, no matter which stop he goes to, he gets a cookie. How nice for him.... (read in full...)

I broke up with him, he's in another relationship now, but I really miss him! How can I get him back?

Q.   I went out with this boy a while ago and I dumped him because well its a long story. Anyway he cut his hair, got a new hair style, and he has really mutured...but he's got a girlfriend and he keeps rubbing it in my face like...oh I'm going to see ...

A.   28 February 2011: You don't. You dumped him, and he moved on and he's glad he moved on and just because he got hot doesn't mean you get him back. Don't be childish! ... (read in full...)

All I want is to be a husband, I just realistically never see it happening.

Q.   Hello. Well I'm 20 and Irish, i study physics and play guitar. I've always been single, have never had any sort of a relationship, date, kiss, whatever. Granted, im by no stretch of the imagination attractive, atleast Ive never known anyone to fancy ...

A.   24 February 2011: I have some advice and a story, if you could just message me because I don't want to share this with everyone. thank you, `SY... (read in full...)

Is it okay that he's going swimming with other girls?

Q.   Just a general question Is it okay for me to feel a bit insecure about my boyfriend going swimming with other girls? Say 5 girls, 3 boys. Im not too sure why im bothered about it seeing as i dont believe anything would happen at all. Just make...

A.   24 February 2011: I think it's ok to feel a little strange about your bf going out with girls who are basically just wearing underwear. My question for you is did he invite you? ... (read in full...)

Too soon to kiss???

Q.   I'm going to the cinema with a girl who I like and who likes me, is it too soon to kiss her or not?...

A.   24 February 2011: You didn't really tell us how long it's been so "is it too soon" is kinda hard. Chances are, the signs will be there if she wants you to kiss her. If she's looking away a lot, not touching you, keeping a little distance, I would back off for a wh... (read in full...)

What matters?

Q.   So I've been around with confusion, what matters to a girl? I've heard size. I've heard Technique. I've heard Stamina. Which one is the one that actually matters, I heard size doesn't matter too much as long as you're around 6 in, Technique I have ...

A.   24 February 2011: It depends :) I think pretty much , if you're able to "hit the right spot" and use your hands, mouth, and be loving and passionate, you're a winner. ... (read in full...)

Are Love Stories Real???

Q.   What I want to know is simple really. Are love stories real? Unlike popular belief, Im a teenage boy who doesn't want to get into some girls pants and I don't think about sex all the time like many my age. What I want is someone who can truly make ...

A.   24 February 2011: If you want to follow the path of love songs, go for "God Bless the Broken Road," because it's not just a song... it actually makes a valid point. I cannot begin to explain the road i've been down, and I'm still convinced that somewhere down it ... (read in full...)

I am thinking about leaving my boyfriend because I am not pretty enough compared to his ex!

Q.   What do you do if you are not pretty? I feel so insecure about myself. Its not my body, in fact I think my body is amazing I am blessed in term of genetics but my face is so...plain. ITs not ugly or weird its just boring and shapeless. ITs more ...

A.   1 February 2011: Your relationship with him, the way you treat each other, how well you get on... is SO much more important than the fact that he dated a pretty blond. You find a guy who hasn't, but chances are, he's seen one he wanted to date. If you can find a ... (read in full...)

Is kissing sexual?

Q.   Is kissing sexaul? My friend told me and my short kisses that I had with my ex werte sexaul even thougfh they only lasted one-five seconds, Are kisses sexaul??...

A.   1 February 2011: I think it depends on the nature, and intentions behind the kiss. If he planned on kissing you, then laying you down and going from there, then yes it was sexual. But if he just wanted to kiss you good night, or hello, etc., then I don't think so. ... (read in full...)

Help! I can't seem to get past his mistakes...

Q.   me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and he tells me all the time that he doesnt want anyone but me but i find it hard to believe. never was there actually cheating but more so expressing to others the things he wanted to do with them ...

A.   1 February 2011: I guess he's a good guy with wandering eyes. He'd probably like to do a lot of things to a lot of women, but if he hasn't, I suppose that's what matters. I'm sure lots of guys have many fantasies.. eh should not be telling these women what he's ... (read in full...)

Help!!!! Is my relationship worth saving?

Q.   Hi and thanks in advance. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Its been a constant trust issue on his behalf. Accusations, of me being unfaithful(I've never been I'm loyal) I'm not allowed to speak to the opposite sex. If I do, th...

A.   1 February 2011: No.... (read in full...)

Help! I don't want to be a pscyho gf!

Q.   Hello, I have been daatingmy boyfriend how's in the military for almost two years. About a year ago I found some stuff that I thought to be unfaithful. (in my book) 1. He was texting another female friend (that he had already revealed to me th...

A.   5 July 2010: You're not expecting too much for young men.. just this young man. He is obviously still immature and stuch in the period of one-night stands. He's not ready to move on yet, and he's going to knock you out while you try to push him. Your snoo... (read in full...)

How do I turn his "I love you but am not in love with you" into love???

Q.   My boyfriend says he loves me but he's not "in love with me." We've been together for four years. He knows that I AM in love with him but i can't tell him how i really feel. what should i do? and don't say "leave him" 'cause i won't. Please, ...

A.   5 July 2010: You can't do anything. My husband said that exact thing to me once he returned from the war. It was hard, but what matters is that he still loved me enough to be with me, and that I'm still in love with him. I just have to give it some time, and ... (read in full...)

Her fooling around... Do I have the right to be angry?

Q.   I just found out that my girl fooled around with this guy from work. We had known each other at the time but it was before we started dating. It just repulses me to know about it. He is a truly disgusting guy. She got checked for STDs because of him ...

A.   4 July 2010: Sorry, but you do not have that right. ... (read in full...)

His want for sex is exhausting me!!!

Q.   I just moved in with my boyfriend several weeks ago. I had been holding off having sex for a long time and we finally started having it a little while before I moved in. Now that we're living together, he wants to have sex all of the time. It's ...

A.   4 July 2010: Mal.. LOL. My husband is like that too, and if I don't want it, I just ignore his atempts and brush him off. :) ... (read in full...)

Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?

Q.   Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...

A.   4 July 2010: Thanks, anon. That's kind of what I've been trying to point out. The number of people they slept with will give you a sight into who they really are. If they lie, that's part of who they are, just as if they tell the truth. If they slept with one ... (read in full...)

Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?

Q.   Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...

A.   2 July 2010: So, what if you love a woman for "who she is" and then 20 years later, she's your wife, and you found out she spent 5 years being a prostitute? And lied about it? Then is she the same person you thought? ... (read in full...)

Should I trust him even though he's talking to his friend about having sex with other girls?

Q.   i just found out my partner of 2years has been textin his work mate talkin about how he wants to have sex with some of the girls at work he said nothin has happened im reali confused because we have a daughter and i want to do whats best for her ...

A.   1 July 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/new-baby-but-dont-love-the-father-i.html That's the question I saw. It was about a year ago, so how have you had this partner for over 2 years? ... (read in full...)

Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?

Q.   Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...

A.   30 June 2010: If you're with someone whose had 46 partners, would you see them differently, as maybe not the best person to commit to?... (read in full...)

Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?

Q.   Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...

A.   30 June 2010: So, the people who have nothing to hide are the ones who don't mind, and the ones who are not say, proud of their number are the ones who tell the guy to f-off? I'd say they're not bugged because their men are asking, their bugged because they wish... (read in full...)

Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?

Q.   Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...

A.   30 June 2010: I would feel bad lieing about that. And I do think it's his business how many fellows have stuck their dingalings inside me, and if it's a ton, then how recently I've been checked. I only slept with one guy though before my husband, so no prob... (read in full...)

She is immature and controlling and I don't know if I want to be with her anymore

Q.   I started dating this girl about 6 months ago, not long after we started dating I found out she had a boyfriend. She said it was nothing serious and she was just waiting on the right time before she dumped him. I thought that was okay. But then she ...

A.   30 June 2010: She's only happy because she thinks you've locked yourself up in your house, now that you're away from her, you finally feel relieved, and you're more worried about her being a bitch after you break up, then actually breaking up with her. Your rela... (read in full...)

He's separated but wants to know about her, should it concern me??

Q.   My live-in boyfriend is separated but not divorced. He speaks to his daughter daily and he sometimes asks to his daughter what his wife is doing and where she is and usually ends the conversation with, tell her I said "goodnight". Does this mean ...

A.   29 June 2010: He might care for her, but it's to be expected. He has had a relationship with her and it's natural for him to be curious about her well-being. He is probably not stll in love with her though.... (read in full...)

Should I trust him even though he's talking to his friend about having sex with other girls?

Q.   i just found out my partner of 2years has been textin his work mate talkin about how he wants to have sex with some of the girls at work he said nothin has happened im reali confused because we have a daughter and i want to do whats best for her ...

A.   29 June 2010: Didnt you write the question about how you don't love your husband anymore and you're in love with your ex and don't know what to do but you won't leave because he makes all the money? You don't have a right to complain when you are emotiona... (read in full...)

My best friend set me up and I am scared he will blackmail me

Q.   my bestfriend told me that his cousin is all over him and demanding him to sleep with her, one night he said that she's at their house and he cant resist her anymore and he's so turned on, he said he needs help. i suggested him to mast. maybe he'd ...

A.   29 June 2010: Cut yourself off from him. Take him off your facebook or myspace page, don't answer his calls or texts, don't talk to him at school, don't talk to his friends. He is really messed up if he was pretending to be your "best friend," and then comp... (read in full...)

Torn between three men but I only want one, but which one?

Q.   hie here I have a problem caught in three guys.Something I brought on meself.I left my boyfriend in my home country nw its been two years without seeing each other.there was a break of communication for a period of 7 months bt now we are okay.I was ...

A.   29 June 2010: If you want to be happy in your life, then you need to think about what makes YOU happy every now and then.I know you are concerned for other peoples' feelings, but you have got to look out for yourself.If you're not interested in being with a guy, ... (read in full...)

He doesn't understand why I was upset .....

Q.   Yesterday was our one year anniversary. We had a busy night running his kids around. Even though it was late, he still wanted to take me to a nice dinner. Instead of it being ourselves, it was us, his teenage daughter and teenage son ... and one ...

A.   29 June 2010: I agree! UGH! ... (read in full...)

She is immature and controlling and I don't know if I want to be with her anymore

Q.   I started dating this girl about 6 months ago, not long after we started dating I found out she had a boyfriend. She said it was nothing serious and she was just waiting on the right time before she dumped him. I thought that was okay. But then she ...

A.   29 June 2010: OMG break UP with her already! Hypocritical, controlling, paranoid, whiney, bitchy, cheater... I'm having a hard time coming up with good characteristics. I'll try though... ....... ....... ...... ..... ... .. Is she hot?... (read in full...)

I need advice on a relationship issue!!!! please read and comment!

Q.   I need help please! 5 weeks into my relationhip i went out without my girlfriend and this girl approached me to say hi, i immediatley told her to fuck off but later on in the night when i was heavily intoxicated i said some things to her, for ...

A.   29 June 2010: HEY... you didn't do anything wrong, dude. You were drunk as hell and said some things to a girl, but you didn't DO anything. And when you were sober and thinking clearly, you told her to go away. Yes, you shouldn't have lied to your gf about it, ... (read in full...)

Do you think I should try to regain the friendship with my ex without telling my boyfriend?

Q.   What do you consider cheating? I'm sure this is a common question but I have a particular situation in mind, and I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend in the slightest. We've been together for 14 months, and are completely in love. Recently, ...

A.   29 June 2010: Sometimes you have to sacrifice things in order to make someone you love happy. Honestly, I wanted to keep in contact with my ex, to see how his life goes. I am still dieing to know if he even found a new gf yet, but I don't. And I won't. It's not ... (read in full...)

My man doesn't want to watch porn WITH me, only behind my back. Should I be worried?

Q.   My man watches porn online while im sleeping or not home. I have asked him nicely to only watch it with me as a couple, but he still does it behind my back. Should i be concerned? Is he loosing interest in me?...

A.   29 June 2010: I think porn is a relatively private thing for men. When in a relationship, men put so many things out in the open, and lose so much of their privacey, that maybe it's best to just step back on a couple of tihngs, and give them that space that ... (read in full...)

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